


All My Loving

by destielwholock



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, M/M, Professor Castiel, Student Dean Winchester, Teacher-Student Relationship, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, professor - student relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-05-19 15:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 116,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19359427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielwholock/pseuds/destielwholock
Summary: In a world where Dean is a 19 year old growing up in the 70s and manages to escape his father’s stranglehold and drafting by going to college where as fate would have it, he would meet Castiel, but fate isn’t always on his side.—Hello! This is just me attempting to write my first destiel fanfic so bear with me please. I hope you enjoy this! It also might include smut. Lots of it.





	1. Chapter 1

_August 22nd, 1971_

 

_Lawrence, Kansas_

 

It was the Saturday that marked the end of summer, with all the young kids readying themselves to start school again soon, and the older kids getting ready to start work or even go to college. A normal Saturday, with kids running around the neighbourhood and riding their bikes around and parents grilling steaks and having barbecues in their backyards. All normal but for the Winchesters.

 

Dean looked out the window from his small bedroom, his eyes falling on his father's 1967 Chevy Impala. It was still four o'clock, which meant he had plenty of time before his father would return home from the garage where he worked as a mechanic. He heard gentle footsteps approaching his bedroom, the wood squeaking beneath his younger brother's footsteps.

 

"So, you're really leaving, huh?" Sam asked, eyeing the brown suitcase and the duffle bag on Dean's bed.

 

It broke Dean's heart, seeing the sad look in his little brother's eyes. He didn't want to leave him behind, but he had to if he wanted to make it.

 

"I really wish I can take you with me, Sammy." He told him, walking over to his bed and neatly placing his leather jacket over his belongings in the suitcase. He then closed it, placing it by the door along with the duffel bag.

 

"It's okay, Dean. I understand." Sam mumbled, his eyes turning to the ground, a small sigh escaping his lips.

 

"Listen, Sammy, you know how it is. It's not like I want to go to freaking college, but I have to. Any day now, I would've received that damned letter, my one way ticket to Vietnam, and you know I can't go there, not if I want to keep you safe."

 

At that, the fifteen year old boy rolled his eyes at his brother. "Dude, I'm fifteen. I can take care of myself."

 

"You can barely make your own bed, kid."

 

"Hey, you're a kid too, Dean."

 

"I'm nineteen, _kid_ ," he put more emphasis on it this time, an amused smirk making its way onto his face. Sammy rolled his eyes a second time but this time it was accompanied by a grin. "You know, maybe I will miss you," Dean told his brother whose grin faded. Instead, he made his way to his older brother and wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. Dean couldn't help but wrap his arms tightly around his baby brother, ruffling his long hair. He then cleared his throat, pushing Sam back as he tried to fix his hair but only disheveled it even more.

 

"You remember what to tell dad?" Dean asked him, grabbing his duffel bag and placing it over his shoulder.

 

"Yeah, uhh, I came home from Barry's and I found you and the car gone, you didn't leave a note or tell me anything. My heart is shattered because you have abandoned me!" Sam played along, trying to be dramatic at the end.

 

"Hey, maybe you should try for the school play this year. You never know, Sam Winchester might be the next Sean Connery."

 

"Hilarious," Sam stated in an unamused tone, to which Dean responded with a crooked grin. "Do you really have to take the impala though? Dad's really gonna freak!"

 

"I need a car, don't I?" Dean chuckled, twirling the car keys which he had swapped from his dad's jacket that morning in his hand. He grabbed his stuff and made his way toward the front door, Sam following him close. "I guess... this is it, huh?"

 

"I guess..."

 

"Hey, come here," he said quietly grabbing his brother and hugging him close once again. "Anything goes wrong, you call me, okay? First thing I'm gonna do when I'm settled is call you from the apartment so that you have my number. Anything at all, you give me a call. I'll be here in exactly nine hours, alright?"

 

"It's gotta take you at least a day-,"

 

"I'll be here in nine hours. No bathroom breaks. Capisce?"

 

"I'll call you if I need anything I promise."

 

"Okay." Dean gave his brother one last look, feeling a lump already rise in his throat. His little brother that he had practically raised himself when their father was too busy drowning in whiskey and beer after their mother had died in a house fire. He wasn't so little anymore. He was only fifteen and almost as tall as Dean. "You take care of yourself, Sammy, you hear me?"

 

"You too, Dean. You promise you'll call?"

 

"Every Friday, at four. Dad would still be at the shop."

 

Sam nodded, giving his brother one last, sad smile, before he turned around and made his way toward the black car in their driveway. Dean placed his bags in the trunk and made his way to the front, settling in and turning on the engine. He slowly backed away, giving his little brother who was still standing in the doorway one last wave before driving off in the direction of Texas, where he was going to start his four years at a college he knew nothing about.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean stood back, admiring his handy work, trying to put up a shelf for his record collection. He let out a satisfied laugh, clasping his hands together, giving himself a mental pat on the back for his work. He had put it up straight from the very first try. He let out a puff of breath and lied down on the couch behind him, staring at the empty wall before him. He took a swig of his beer and smiled absentmindedly as he finally settled in into his new life, free from his past. All his stuff were finally in place in the new apartment. All he had to do was fill his closets with his clothes, and place his books and records on the shelves he had put up. The first thing he had done, before anything else, was set up the telephone so that he could give Sam a call and check up on him. Once he had made sure that Sam was fine -despite their father going absolutely crazy of the situation- he had finally hung up the phone after several reassurances from his younger brother that he was doing okay and that if anything bad were to happen, he'd call him or their uncle Bobby.

Finally, after all his thing were sorted, he allowed himself to lay down in bed and fall asleep.

The apartment was rather small. It consisted of only two rooms: the bathroom, and what was the hybrid of a living room, a kitchenette, and a bedroom. It wasn't ideal, but it was perfect for a student who worked part time at a garage after classes to make ends meet.

Dean smiled to himself as he gently placed the Pet Sounds album's vinyl carefully onto the turntable, settling the needle in place. He walked back over to his bed in the corner of the room, near the large window and laid down beneath his covers in nothing but his shorts. It was quite warm in this place and it was all he could do to stay cool. He closed his eyes as the scratching and crackling sound started playing with the first notes of the song Wouldn't It Be Nice by the Beach Boys. He found his eyelids shutting closed as they weighted heavier with each passing second, and finally he was knocked out with the soft voices of the beach boys playing the in the back.

-

He was woken up early in the morning with the light shining through his window, illuminating the whole place up. He groaned, trying to catch the last bit of sleep possible, but the light was too bright and the room was too stuffy. With a heavy grunt, he got out of bed and opened the windows to let some fresh air in. He stomped his way to the bathroom, and spent the next thirty minutes shaving his stubble and taking a hot shower. He got dressed quickly into a pair of blue denim jeans and a red plaid shirt. He combed his hair back before making his way out the door with his backpack slung loosely over his shoulder. It was his first day of classes and he was already late for his History course.

His apartment was only a ten minute walk away from his campus, so he sprinted as fast as his legs allowed him to make it in time. As much as he hated being in college, he wasn't going to jeopardise his chances of not getting drafted and sent to fight a war that would most probably kill him as it did a lot of people, some he knew. He was in the building in less than 5 minutes, speed walking through the hallways in search of the correct classroom. Finally, after several flights of stairs, he had reached the room. The door was still open, so he walked right in with his head ducked, trying to minimise any attention that he would draw to himself. He found a seat in the very back, and sat down as quietly as possible. The professor hadn't started talking yet, though, to Dean's relief, but it seemed as though he had definitely noticed his lateness. Dean looked up, finally able to relax, only for him to choke on his breath as his green eyes met the striking blue ones of the young professor dressed in a fit black suit. He cleared his throat, pulling at his collar as he averted his gaze instantly to his desk.

"Good morning, class. My name is Castiel Novak, and I will be your professor this semester. I am not friend, nor am I your enemy, so let's agree to some respect between us both. Lateness will not be tolerated, as for whatever else you do in my class, I honestly do not care as long as you meet your deadlines and do your job. I'll be easy on you if you make my job easy. Do not expect me to be lenient for any reason. I will be fair and you will end up with the grade that you truly deserve, believe me. Anyway, now that all the serious stuff is out, let's enjoy our first semester together, shall we? This is Theology101-, questions, already. Yes?" The professor looked up expectantly at Dean, his eyes wide and waiting for him to pose his question, but Dean seemed to be stuck in place, his hand having trouble shooting back down.

"Uhm, uh," he stammered, "this isn't History101?"

"Late and in the wrong class? Now, see, class, that is the kind of behaviour that I do not normally tolerate, but since you're not in my class, apparently, I will leave you to your own professor's wrath, kid," he smiled at him in amusement, pointing at the door, to indicate that it was time for him to leave and probably get to his class before he got into trouble with his actual professor. He cursed under his breath as he grabbed his bag and hurried back into the hallway, in search of his next class.

—

He only had two classes that day, and thank God for that, because he didn't think he could handle any more of it due to that morning's embarrassment. Normally, Dean would not have allowed a professor to speak to him as such. He would disregard all his teachers, as he did not pay any attention to authority figures, deeming them as pompous, obnoxious bastards who think they are better than him when in actuality they are only the same if not worse. But when he sat there in that theology professor's class, he felt as though he was stuck to the ground with his stomach in his throat, like a deer staring right into the headlights. Never, not once, had anything made him stop in his tracks and demand his respect just like Professor Novak's mere presence did. As much respect as he had for his old man, he would even talk back to him sometimes. But not this stranger. No, he managed to make Dean shut his pie-hole. He could only hope that he would never run into the professor any time soon, not until he would have at least forgotten about him. He couldn't handle any more embarrassment, his pride would not allow it.

So he made his way as fast as possible back to his apartment while munching on a sandwich, and once he had arrived he changed into his work overalls as fast as possible, grabbing his car keys and making his way to the small garage downtown where he would spend the rest of his day there. He didn't mind working the extra hours. Work meant keeping himself busy, which also meant he got a bigger pay check. There was no situation in this where it could be anything but a win. Plus, for the next few weeks, he wouldn't be having any major assignments for his classes, so he could afford to spend all of his free time down at the garage.

"Winchester, you're early," his boss,  
Mr. Rogers, called out as he rolled out from under a car he was fixing. Dean got out of his black chevy, nodding in acknowledgment at the old man.

"Yeah, didn't have nothing better to do," he admitted, making his way toward the small office to grab his agenda for the day to see what he had to work on.

"Good work ethic. You'll do just fine here, kid," he told him as he wiped the grease off his hands with a handkerchief. "Nice ride you've got there, by the way." He told him with a chuckle, eyeing the impala.

"Uh, thanks. Got it from my dad," he replied, making his way toward his toolbox to grab the equipment he needed to fix the breaks on an old bent up car.

"Old man's got taste," he complimented him, giving him an encouraging pat on the back before returning to the task he was taking care of earlier.

"Sure thing," Dean muttered with a small sigh as he bent forward to start working on the car in front of him. Time passed and he had already finished working with three different customers by the time it was dark outside. The heavy commotion had died down at the old garage so he sat back on one of the plastic chairs besides his boss. 

"You want a beer, kiddo?" He asked him and Dean looked at him with a surprised look. Did he not know that he was still underage? He stammered as he thought this might have been a trick question and he just did not want to get in trouble and lose this job.

"I- I don't-,"

"I ain't busting your ass, Dean. You want one or not?" He replied with a chuckle, carrying a bottle of cold beer in each hand.

"Uhm, yeah, yes sir, please," he told him, with his eyebrows still furrowed as he remained taken aback by the interaction. The old man handed him a bottle mumbling a cheers before taking a swig.

"Alright, well, I'm going to head out before the wife has my head on a plate for dinner. I trust you to lock up when you leave?" Mr. Rogers told him as he got up from his seat and stretched his limbs.

"Yeah, um, don't worry, sir. I'll be sure to lock up before leaving," he reassured his boss just as he threw him a set of keys and waved goodbye, turning around and walking away.

Dean sat back, closing his eyes as he drank his beer quietly and listened to the soft hum coming from the generator that kept the small place lit up. He felt so serene in that moment, at peace with no one to bother him but the cars coming in to be fixed. Fixing things, he could do with his eyes closed. It always sort of came naturally to him. His dad was a mechanic, and that is most probably where he got that from. He could still remember the old days when his old man would prop him up on a chair to help him fix cars, and even without all the scientific knowledge that was involved with how a car works, he could understand it. He could grasp every single notion on where each item went and why anything would malfunction and how to fix it. He could just sense the problem and he would know exactly what he would have to do to fix it. Perhaps it was about one of the few things that he had inherited from his father that he was proud of.

He was interrupted when he heard a knock on the door and a series of footsteps following behind. "Hey, pal, we're closing soon, so-," He stopped mid-sentence as he opened his eyes, only for them to meet the striking blue ones that he had encountered only earlier that same day.

"Hey, I know, I'm really sorry to bother you. It's just I really have to be somewhere right now but my car started just- acting crazy, I don't know what's wrong with it, I had to push it all the way here from the other street, and gosh, I'm sweating. I'm sorry, it's alright, I could just come back tomorrow. I'll find a taxi," Professor Novak went on a rant that Dean could only listen to with a stupefied look on his face.

"Oh, uhm, n-no, no, it's not a problem, professor, sir. Let me take a look at her, and I'll give you the um, the diagnosis," he told him, offering a small smile and making his way around toward the hood of the car. He placed his half empty bottle of beer on the ground and opened up the hood to inspect its insides. His eyebrows furrowed a he went into his thinking mood, trying to figure out what had gone wrong with this car. He grabbed a wrench from his toolbox and went away, twisting at a few malfunctioning pieces. He cleared his throat a couple minutes later, looking up at the young professor who was absentmindedly staring at the ceiling. Dean cleared his throat to grab his attention. The other man jumped in surprise, but regained control over himself quick. "Can you try starting her up for me, now?" He asked him with a polite smile that was returned with a nod. The blue eyed man made his way to the front seat, trying to start the car, but to no avail. Dean frowned again, as he gabbed another wrench, working his way through the many wired and electrics in the car. "Alright, how about now?"

Castiel Novak tried to start the car once again, and to his surprise, but not to Dean's, it started again like a brand new car. "Oh, thank God! Thank you!"

"Not a problem, you drive safe, now," he told him, closing the hood of the car and putting his tools away. Castiel pulled out his wallet from his back pocket, grabbing a few bank notes from it and handing them to Dean, who took them from him with a soft thank you and put the cash in his pocket, before returning them to the till.

It seemed as though the professor had already forgotten about the morning's incident, or at least, had not recognised Dean and he was starting to feel hopeful, until the other man decided to speak up before going back on his merry way. "Hey- aren't you the guy from my Theology class this morning? From the wrong class?"

"Uh, yeah," Dean responded quietly, his hand rubbing circles on the back of his neck as he felt his while body blush in embarrassment.

"Was I a bit rude? I'm sorry, if I was. Anyway, Thank you a ton for fixing my car. I'll see you around a campus," he mentioned as he turned the car, and driving off before Dean could even have the time to process what was going on.

"I sure hope not," he mumbled, letting out a loud groan.

This was _the_ absolute worse thing that could have ever happened.

—

Dean sat down in his mandatory maths class with a loud grunt. Maths was among his worst subjects, and he had a lot of them. It wasn't that he wasn't smart enough, or that he wasn't wired for it, he just never bothered trying hard enough to learn anything he didn't think was essential, which usually was most of the material. He laid back in his seat, doodling in his copybook absentmindedly, blocking out the professor's voice. He was too focused on what seemed to be the drawing of an eye that he was scratching on his paper that he hadn't noticed the professor calling out his name.

" _Winchester_ ," he called out, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "What is the answer, then? Huh?"

Dean stammered and stumbled over his words as he looked at the chalk board, trying to figure out the equation, but nothing came to him. He was contemplating explaining to the professor that he wasn't focusing and had no clue what was going on in that class, but that probably meant getting kicked out of class, which also probably would not have been the absolute worse thing right now. He was really craving a good chicken sandwich.

"Pst, it's 90°," a voice whispered to him from his left. He glanced in surprise to his left, noticing a flashy head of long, red hair.

"uh, uhm, it's 90°?" He finally replied loud enough for the professor to hear. He stood there in silence for a moment, giving Dean a good glare, before deciding that his answer was good enough.

"Good. Stay focused, next time." He told him in a stern voice and Dean simply nodded as the professor went on to explain the method to the rest of the class. Dean finally allowed himself to turn his head to the left so that he could get a proper look at the girl who had given him the answer and had basically just saved his bacon.

"You're welcome," she told him with an amused smirk.

"Uh, yeah, thank you, for that," he told her genuinely, but there was still a hint of confusion in his voice. "Why did you help me though?" He asked her and she only shrugged her shoulders.

"You seem like a good enough guy, I couldn't just sit back and watch you be eaten alive by the bald guy," she replied with a joking tone in her voice and Dean let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head.

"Yeah, well, I owe you one," he told her sincerely and she shrugged it off.

"Alright, class, please solve all the problems on page 134 in your books for next class and have a great weekend!"

The entire class stood up, making their way to the door and into the hallways.

"Hey, I'm Charlie, by the way. Charlie Bradbury," she told him, shooting him a cheeky grin and holding her hand out for him to shake.

"I'm Dean. Winchester." He responded, shaking her hand, and returning her grin with a slightly confused smile.

"And I guess, since you owe me one, buy me a drink?" She told him with a raised eyebrow but he was quick to shoot her down.

"I'm not exactly 21 yet, you know," he told her and she only rolled her eyes at him.

"You seem like the kind of guy who would have a fake ID. You really want me to believe that you don't have a case of beer in your fridge right now?"

"How-,"

"I notice things, anyway, so is that a yes?" she stopped in her tracks in front of another class which he assumed was her next one. He stopped walking and let out a sigh.

"Look, Charlie, you seem like a really nice girl, but-,"

"Hey," she cut him off, "you're not exactly my type, either," she said with a smirk.

"What do you-?"

He was cut off again by her gentle pat on his shoulder. "Told you, I notice things. So me and my friends are gonna be at the Roadhouse that's just a few blocks away from here. You should join us!"

"The Roadhouse? As in the Harvell's Roadhouse?" He asked Charlie, making sure that they were talking about the same place, the one that his dad's friend Ellen owned.

"That's the one. You know it already, then, perfect! We'll see you at 7," she told him and turned to her class, leaving him standing in the hallway, more confused than ever.

Dean managed to get a few hours of work before he had made his way back to his place to shower and dress in a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt and his brown leather jacket. He got into his impala and started the short drive to the roadhouse. When he got there a few minutes later, he let out a puff of air from his lungs, and stepped out of the car. He walked into the bar, and stood in the doorway, in search of Charlie, but before his eyes could land on the redhead, Dean was startled by a loud voice calling out his name. His _full_ name.

" _Dean friggen Winchester!"_

He turned around just in time to see Ellen Harvell barging toward him. Instead of the slap on the head he was expecting, she surprised him by wrapping her arms tightly around his frame, too tight for his own liking.

"Oh, my God, Ellen, Ellen, can't breathe, help," he joked and she finally pulled away from him, a not so amused look on her face. And then came the slap he was both expecting and dreading.

"Goddammit, boy. You scared us all half to death! Do you your uncle Bobby is out there searching for your dumb ass right now?"

"So that's why he wasn't at the salvage yard, last week, right," he chuckled but Ellen was still not amused.

"Your daddy calls us in the middle of the night, asking for help. He said you just ran off with his car, and poor Sammy doesn't know anything. Bobby was out of bed and in his car before I had even hung up. Goddamnit, you Winchesters, always thinking from your ass and not your brains. You frightened us all to death, Dean. Never. Ever. Do. That. Again. Or so help me God, and I will murder you. " She went on an angry rant, pointing her finger at his chest aggressively.

"I'd listen to her if I were you," a soft voice came from behind him and Dean turned around fast, a smile spreading on his face when he saw the blonde standing before him.

"Jo!" He stated excitedly, wrapping his arms around the younger girl tightly. She hugged him back with just as much joy, patting his back gently.

"Hey, I'm glad you're okay, Dean."

"We all are, kiddo," Ellen told him with a sigh. "Have a seat at the bar, I'll whip you up a burger, and we can give John a call, tell him you're okay," she started but Dean stopped her in her track, pulling her hand away from the phone on the wall.

"No, please. Don't tell him I'm here. Please, Ellen. He'd drag me back home only for my ass to be hauled all across the pacific!" He begged her, his eyes looking at her with a hint of fear in them.

"What are you on about, Dean? What- did you do something? Are you okay?" She told him with worry weighing down in her voice.

"I'm- I'm okay. I'm doing great. I'm going to college here, actually." He explained to her and her shoulders visibly relaxed, but the confusion was still there.

"You? In College?" Jo snorted as she made her way around them to grab someone's order. "Hard to believe."

"I know," he noted with a small laugh as he sat at the bar where Ellen made her way behind it to grab them drinks. "It's not all bad, actually. At least I get to stay here," he added, his voice quieting down at the end.

Ellen nodded her head in understanding, placing her hand on his cheek, and patting it gently in a comforting, motherly fashion. "I'm glad you're okay, kid." She told him and he smiled at her.

"When's the old fart coming?" He told her with a grin only for her to shoot him a glare.

"That's my husband you're talking about," she snapped back, but they both knew that she was just as amused as he was. "He's due back in an hour. Stick around, he'll wanna see you."

"I'm not going anywhere!" He told her with a chuckle, leaning back in his seat.

"Alrighty, then. You want a bacon burger?"

"Extra bacon, please," he told her with a crooked grin and she nodded making her way to the kitchen.

"Pst, Winchester," he turned around only to find Charlie with a friend of hers at her side. The two of them seemed awfully close.

"Oh, hey, you're here," he told her with a small smile.

"Yep, and this is, Luna, my gilrfrie—,"

"Charlie!" The blonde woman next to her hissed but Charlie only rolled her eyes.

"It's fine, Dean's alright." She reassured her with a relaxed smile.

Dean was still confused about the interaction, until it had finally clicked in his brain what Charlie had really meant by girlfriend, and it did not just mean a friend who was a girl. His eyes widened as he came into realisation.

"Oh, _oh,_ that's what you meant when you said I wasn't your type. I was really confused. I've been told I'm everyone's type." He sent the ladies in front of him a jokingly cocky smirk, that had them both roll their eyes at him. They found an empty table and sat at it with Dean facing Luna and Charlie.

"Not everyone, apparently," Charlie noted, sporting a smirk herself. "Apparently, professor blue eyes gave you a hard time."   
The girls snickered as Dean's face fell in shock and embarrassment.

"Wha- You heard about that?" He groaned, hitting his forehead against the table multiple times. "That was embarrassing enough to last me the rest of my life!"

The other girls laughed some more when an old man in a battered baseball cap joined them at the table. "What'd this guy do now that was so embarrassing?" Dean turned to his left so fast as the familiar voice, a grin forming on his face as soon as his eyes landed on his uncle Bobby.

"Bobby!" He called out in excitement as he got up to hug his uncle. They both patted each other on their backs, all laughs and smiles as they greeted each other.

"Hey, son. Glad you're alive," he told him sarcastically. Dean sighed, averting his eyes from his uncle's gaze.

"Look, Bobby, I'm really sorry I didn't tell you where I've been for the past week, but—,"

"Hey, no buts. I'm just really glad you are alive. You girls mind if I steal him for a second?" Bobby turned his attention to the couple who shook their head no, giving him the okay, just as Jo came by their table to get their order.

" _Hey Charlie, Luna. What can I get you two?"_ She asked them as Bobby pulled Dean back to the bar, where Ellen joined them with Dean's burger on a plate. She placed it in front of him and laid her elbows against the wooden bar.

"Dean, I'm really glad you're doing okay, but you gotta understand son, I can't lie to John about your whereabouts," Bobby started, and Dean let out a sigh, dropping the fry that he was grabbing.

"Bobby, _please_ , I can't go back there. You know I can't!" He pleaded with him. His green eyes looked so saddened and scared, they could break Bobby's heart.

"I understand, Dean. You know I love like my own, you and Sam are practically my own two sons. But I cannot lie to your dad. Now, I'm not gonna call him and tell him your here, but if he does call again, I'm sorry, but I gotta tell him you're okay, at least." Bobby explained to him, and Dean let out a heavy sigh, running his fingers through his hair.

"Look, Dean, you know how your daddy is. He may not show it, but you know how much he cares for the two of you. You're all he's got," Ellen told him in her gentle voice as she placed her hand on top of his in a caring gesture.

"Yeah, well, he's got a fucked up way of showing it," he muttered in response, stuffing his face with a few fries to keep his mouth shut from adding anything he might regret later on.

" _Language_ ," Ellen warned him, which only made him roll his eyes at her. "Son, if he comes here to get you, I promise you I won't let him. You're doing the right thing by going to college. You deserve to give yourself a bright future, the one that he never got. Sam deserves to see that too." 

"But you'll probably lose the impala, though," Bobby added, giving him the hard truth. Dean let out a small laugh, knowing just how true that was, that his dad would probably want the car back more than his own son.

"Not a big price to pay," he said with a laugh and a shake of his head.

"Yeah, not too big," Bobby laughed. "But, you are doing alright, aren't you?"

"I'm okay, Bobby. Thanks. Got my own little place, I'm working at Mr. Rogers' garage every day, I'm actually not skipping any classes. It's going a lot better than I expected. I'm alright," he told his aunt and uncle, reassuring them and putting their minds at ease.

"You seem to be doing great, son. I'm glad." Ellen told him, patting his cheek softly. "Well, if you ever need anything, and I mean anything, you know where to find us."

"Yeah, thank you guys."

Dean shot the old couple a grateful smile as Bobby gave his shoulder a squeeze before walking away. He finally grabbed his burger, taking a bite from it and almost drooling over the greasy, heavenly taste. Too consumed by his food, he was startled when a bottle of beer was set in front of him. He looked up to see Jo, who only winked at him and said, "If mom or Bobby ask, blame it on Ash."

"Ash isn't even here, though," he countered in confusion but Jo only shook her head as she walked away to clear off a table.

"Just blame it in Ash, trust me," she told him and he chuckled, without much complaint. He got a beer at least.

He sat back in his stool as he silently ate his burger and fries, lost in his own thoughts. He thought back to Sammy, who was probably reading one of his nerd comic books right now that Dean used to love to steal from him just to get on his nerves. Sam always was the smarter one when it came to books and school between the two of them, even if he was four years younger than Dean. He really hoped his brother would be able to have the future that Dean was building for himself, for _them._ He knew how much Sam looked up to him. He needed a role model growing up, and it certainly was not their father, even with all the respect they had for him. He understood that everything their dad did was for them, trying to give them the best life possible with all the loss they had encountered after their mother had died, but he could have at least do it all with a little more affection. Dean had to play both parental roles and the older brother card with his younger sibling, and it was never easy trying to find common ground between the two roles and juggling them both together. It was bard trying to raise your brother but also be his friend. Sammy also understood just how hard it was on Dean, so he had always cut him some slack, and respected him, trying to make his job a little easier on them both. He had called him for the second time, earlier that day, from the garage. Sam was too excited at the phone, after reassuring Dean plenty of times that he was fine, although their father was going crazy coming home later than usual every day, drunker than ever. Sam had suspicion that he was actually looking for Dean for all those hours, only to end up at the bar when he had given up, and the cycle repeated every day. At least he laid off Sam who pretended he knew nothing about his older brother's plans and whereabouts.

"Are you okay?"

Dean looked up at the familiar, raspy voice, pulled out of his thoughts by a mesmerising pair of blue eyes that belonged to the same professor he had been talking about with Charlie a few minutes earlier. "Yeah," he replied bluntly, keeping his focus on his food.

"You seem lost," the other man pointed out, taking a sip from his drink.

"I'm at the Roadhouse, aren't I?" He replied sarcastically, only for the other man to laugh.

"Not what I meant, Dean. It's Dean, right?" He asked him, making Dean turn to his left to look at the man sitting on the stool beside him, a little shocked and mostly confused.

"It is, _Castiel,"_ He replied, using the professor's first name, and when he tried to argue about that, Dean stopped him and added, "You're not my professor, we're not on campus. I can use, your first name, can't I?" Castiel only shut his mouth, letting out a sigh in defeat, not because he agreed with him, or because he made two good points, but because he found that Dean trying to be disrespectful and arrogant on purpose did not bother him in the slightest. If anything, he found it rather a little bit amusing. "How do you know my name, anyway?"

"Well, I saw your name-tag at the garage, and just now that man and woman said it a bunch of times," Castiel explained and Dean furrowed his eyebrows as a frown set on his features.

"You were listening in?" He snapped at him only for Castiel to raise his hands up in defence.

"I didn't mean to, I promise. They were loud, and I was sitting right there, with nothing but my whiskey to focus on, I'm sorry if I had accidentally overheard anything I shouldn't have," he explained further, apologising sincerely to the younger man.

Dean let out a sigh and nodded as he wiped his hands with a napkin as he had finished his plate of food. "It's okay," he told him and Castiel nodded his head in acknowledgment. They remained in silence for a few minutes while Castiel tried his best not to stare at Dean, but every once in a while, his gaze shifted from the drink in his hand to Dean, who was taking slow sips from his own drink. Finally, after a few minutes, he had decided to break the silence, probably finding it too awkward.

"Are you even old enough to drink?" Castiel asked Dean, who only turned to him with an "are you serious?" look on his face.

"No. Are you gonna bust my ass?" He asked him, his voice lacking any concern.

"Not my place, now, is it?" He replied with a chuckle and Dean only shook his head, keeping quiet.

Castiel cleared his throat, before he opened his mouth again to say something. Dean sighed and turned around to humour him. "What?" He snapped at him, but Castiel wasn't phased at all by his rude attitude. His eyebrows were furrowed as he looked at Dean, almost as though he was examining him, trying to figure him out.

"What are you running from?" He asked him. Dean could sense the genuine interest and concern present in the man's voice, which was one of the reasons why he answered him without being a complete douchebag.

"A lot of things," he replied quietly, turning to look the man in the eyes. He remained quiet for a few moments as he himself inspected Castiel's features a little before letting out a quiet chuckle. "Hm. You seem to be running from a lot of things too," he pointed out, taking a swig from the bottle in his hand.

"Yes, well," Castiel let out a cold laugh. "I'm not exactly my family's favourite."

Dean let out a dry laugh, nodding in understanding. "I know the feeling," he said quietly, staring blankly at the liquid in his bottle.

"You seem to have a sort of nice family here, though," Castiel pointed out, his eyes following Ellen and Bobby walking around Roadhouse and into the back office.

"Yeah, uncle Bobby and Ellen are pretty awesome, I guess. They would took care of us when we were little whenever dad had to work out of town," Dean explained, taking the last sip from his drink which was now empty.

"Us?" Castiel wondered as emptied his own glass.

"Uh, yeah. Me and my little brother, Sammy. He's back home with our dad right now," Dean told him. Dean never gave out personal stories like that to just about anyone. He sometimes even found it hard to discuss things with Bobby. But the gentleness in Castiel's eyes somehow made him comfortable enough to discuss just about anything with him. For s guy with such piercing blue eyes, they held so much warmth and softness, Dean felt like he could trust him easily. And Dean had never trusted anyone this easily, which only made him hyperaware to everything that was going on around him.

"You want another one, Deano?" He looked up to see Jo, wiping the bar with a wet rag.

"No, thanks. I'm good," he replied, as Charlie and her girlfriend had joined them. "And never call me that again." He muttered with a roll of his eyes.

"And you, sir?" She asked Castiel who only shook his head no before excusing himself to go to the bathroom.

Once he was gone, Charlie smirked at Dean, leaning her elbow on his shoulder. "He likes you," she pointed out, only for Dean to give her a weirded out look.

"What the hell are you talking about? Stop being weird, please," he responded, as he stood up, causing Charlie's elbow to fall from his shoulder and her arm to rest by her side.

"He does, Dean. I can see the look on his face," Jo told him only for him to glare at her.

"Okay, first of all, he's a professor. Second of all, he don't swing that way. Third of all, I don't either." He explained, counting each point he made on his fingers.

"Small, insignificant details. Anyway, peace out, bitches," Charlie laughed, throwing two peace signs with her hands before she turned around and walked outside, hand in hand with Luna. Jo let out a small laugh as she grabbed Dean's empty plate and bottle, clearing off the rest of the bar.

"Hey, Dean, you know if you ever need to talk about anything..." Jo started as she finished cleaning the wooden surface. When he gave her a harsh glare, she only sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "Alright, suit yourself. But you know, I'll support you no matter what, right?"

"What are you even on about, Jo?" He grumbled only for her to walk away from him just as Castiel had walked out of the men's room.

"Uhm, well, I guess I'll see you around campus, Dean," he told him, as he shrugged on his trench coat that was hanging on the back of his stool.

"Yeah, alright. Cool coat by the way," he added with a small laugh.

"No, actually, it's quite warm," Castiel responded, with his eyebrows furrowed.

Dean's smile fell as he was taken by surprise by the man's response. "No, I meant like awesome," he explained himself, but Castiel still seemed lost.

"I don't get how it might inspire the feeling of awe into someone..."

"You're joking," Dean deadpanned, staring at him blankly, only for Castiel to chuckle at his words as he turned around to leave.

"See you around campus, Dean." He called out as he opened the door and made his way outside.

"He really likes you," Jo stated only for Dean to mutter a "shut up," as he got up and made his way outside.

"Well, bye, I guess," She called out in amusement with a small laugh as Dean got into his car and drove off.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The week came by and went faster than Dean could process. He spent most of his time between classes, the garage, and the Roadhouse once Ellen had practically forced to spend more time there, probably to keep a better eye on him. And in all honesty, he didn't mind it much. He enjoyed spending time with the people he had considered his family. Ash was back, after spending a couple weeks from his third year at MIT, but apparently, he didn't really enjoy it so he had gotten himself into an intense fight that got him kicked out. Ellen didn't mind having the extra helping hand, even though he spent most of his time drinking beer and falling asleep in odd places, such as the pool table.

To Dean's surprise, Charlie had actually enjoyed his company and made every possible effort to find him between classes and hang out, which he didn't mind. He acted annoyed and like he have a care in the world in her presence, but they both knew that she was quickly growing on him. She was actually fun to be around, so he didn't really argue whenever she would drag him around from party to party. He had even agreed to be hers and Luna's cover whenever they were out in public to protect them from other people's judgemental eyes and not-so-open minds.

To his relief, or so he thought, he hadn't run into Professor Novak around campus. But he still felt an itch whenever he saw a professor dressed in a black suit pass by, getting so restless that he couldn't stop his knee from jumping up and down, or his fingers from tapping endlessly against the closest surface, whether it be a table or his knee. He didn't understand his sudden urge to have glance at Castiel who wasn't even his professor, but for some reason, he couldn't get him off his mind and he hated it. So he kept himself busy around the weekend so that his mind would be too preoccupied with other things and less bothersome thoughts. He spent the entire day Saturday and Sunday working at the garage from opening hours to closing hours, only stopping for a drink and a snack. Sometimes, he'd even fix a wire or two while munching on his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

It was almost closing time when the phone in the office rang.

"Could you get that, son?" Mr. Rogers asked as he was too busy working under a truck.

Dean wiped the oil off his hands on the towel he kept in the pocket of his overalls and jogged toward the office to answer the phone.

"Rogers' Car Repair Shop," he said as he picked up the phone and placed it against his ear.

"Hi, I seem to have a nail stuck in one of my wheels and I don't have the equipment on me to fix it," the man's voice explained on the other end.

"Alright, not a problem. Just give me your address sir, and I'll be right there to help," Dean replied as he grabbed a notepad and a pencil to write down the man's address. Once he had given it to him, he wrote it down quickly and assured the man he would be there as soon as possible before hanging up. "Mr. Rogers, I'm off to get a guy's wheel fixed, just a few blocks away," he told his boss as he grabbed his toolbox and placed it in the trunk of his car.

"Alright, and you can go home when you're done kid. I'll close up," he replied, still working under a car.

"Alrighty, goodnight." He told him as he entered his car and drove right off to the address he had taken.

He was in a fairly good mood, which meant he would listen to music. He inserted the Led Zeppelin tape into the car and raised the volume as Immigrant Song began playing. He yelled along with Robert Plant's singing in complete joy, singing every lyric with enthusiasm, his hands drumming along to the beat of the song on the steering wheel all the way until he arrived to the location he had be given earlier. He lowered the volume when the song had changed, and Since I've Been Loving You had started, as he parked his car in the driveway in front of the right house, only to find a man in blue button up shirt and trousers leaning against a car he had previously fixed, and that same man happened to be none other than Castiel himself. He sighed as he turned the ignition off and got out the car.

"Hello, Dean," he greeted him with a small smile. Dean returned it politely as he grabbed his tools from the trunk.

"So, which wheel is it?" He asked as he made his way around the car, spotting the flat tyre in the back just as Castiel had responded.

"Back right," he said just as Dean crouched down to inspect it. He quickly went to work, grabbing the necessary tools to fix the problem at hand. He worked in silence, trying to avoid as best as he could glancing at the blue eyed man who hovered over him, watching his every move. "Since I've been Loving You is a pretty good song," Castiel pointed out, grabbing himself a seat on the sidewalk besides Dean.

"Yeah? Didn't think you'd listen to Led Zep," he said in genuine surprise, sending him an impressed glance before returning to his work on the wheel.

"I prefer their first album, but Led Zeppelin III wasn't bad at all," Castiel explained, only for Dean to nod in agreement. "What did you think I would listen to, anyway?" He asked him, interested to know what the younger boy thought of him, or if he did at all.

"Probably something less awesome, like Frank Sinatra or Paul Anka," he replied with a small laugh.

"I'm only a little older, Dean. I don't live under a rock," Castiel remarked and the other man remained silent, a small, entertained smile making its way onto his face.

"Yeah, well," he said with a chuckle. "You dress like my grandpa," he joked, but Castiel only frowned at him, looking down at his clothes.

"It's a shirt..." He stated with his eyebrows furrowed.

Dean stopped working for a second, sending him a glance. He realised that Castiel did not react well to teasing well, so he just sighed and said, "I'm just teasing you, don't think too much of it. Besides, you make the suits work, I guess." He tried to make him feel better and Castiel only nodded, remaining quiet after that.   
Dean spent the next ten minutes working in silence, apart for his quiet humming of a Rolling Stones tune.

"Not bad, your music taste," Castiel pointed out once he had recognised the tune. Dean chuckled, patting the good as new car wheel as he had finally finished working on it.

"We're all done here," he told him as he closed his tool box and stood up, dusting off his pants. "Uh, yeah, thanks, I guess. I mean, you can't go wrong with good old fashion Rock and Roll, right?"

"No, you cannot," Castiel agreed as he reached for his pocket to grab his wallet. "How much do I owe you?" He asked him, but Dean only shook his head.

"Don't worry about it. It's no trouble at all," he told him, pushing hand back down. Castiel was taken aback by Dean's response. He tried to fight him on it but Dean wouldn't budge, and the younger boy didn't know why. He had even made his uncle Bobby pay for an oil change the other day. But for some reason, he didn't feel like he had done anything more than a simple favour for Castiel, rather than doing what his job paid him to do.

"Well, at least come in for a drink? You must be thirsty. You've been working in the sun all day, haven't you?" Castiel wondered, offering him a little refreshment. Dean knew that he should have probably refused and went back home. But the itch that he'd had all week was finally gone, and was replaced by an unfamiliar, uneasy feeling. So he found himself nodding as he wiped his hands off and followed the older man into his house. He stepped through the front door and wiped his soles with the mat placed at the front door, taking a quick look around. There weren't any pictures of any family around, it was small, with minimal decorating artefacts, and it was very neat and tidy, something Dean could never keep up himself.

Castiel closed the door behind him and led the way to the living room, offering Dean a seat. He sat down on the couch, and leaned back, glancing around at the book collection in the corner, and the music collection in the other.

"Uh, what can I get you? I've got beer, if you'd like," Castiel offered and Dean only nodded, much too interested in the collection he had on the shelves in the room. "You can check out the vinyl collection if you'd like," Castiel allowed him with a chuckle before turning around the grab the drinks. Dean slowly got up and walked over to the large shelf with more vinyls he could have ever hoped to own. He went through them one by one, his fingers tracing the backs of albums written by some of the greatest artists, including the Beatles, Elvis Presley, Led Zeppelin, and even Frank Sinatra. He chuckled, thinking back to his comment from a few moments earlier, until his index finger reached a specific Rolling Stones album; their most recent one. "No way," Dean whispered as he pulled out the Sticky Fingers album. "Huh," he breathed out a chuckle, turning the vinyl jacket around to read the back. He glanced to his left where he found the LP played and placed the vinyl disk onto the turntable. As the music started, he turned around, hearing Castiel's footsteps entering the room.

"Oh, uh, I hope you don't mind," he apologised, pointing at the player where the first notes of the song Brown Sugar were coming from.

"Of course not, it's one of my greater purchases," Castiel said with a small laugh, handing Dean a bottle of beer.

"I haven't gotten round to listening to it yet. I was saving up to get it, but more pressing things came about," Dean explained, taking the drink from Castiel's hand and sitting back down on the couch.

"Like another album? I've been in that situation before," he laughed, sitting beside him on the couch.

"I wish," Dean let out a quiet, cold chuckle. "No, uh, leaving home. Had to save up everything I had."

Castiel nodded, looking at Dean with his eyes softening. "Right," he said his voice becoming gentler. "I'm sorry about that, by the way. I know how hard leaving home can be. You seem to be getting along pretty well, though."

"Yeah, I guess I've adjusted." Dean told him, taking a long sip from the cold beer.

"Well, you're more than welcome to pass by to listen to that album or any other one whenever you want," Castiel told him jokingly, but Dean could sense the sincerity beneath it, that he had actually meant his words.

"Thanks, Cas," Dean replied, not noticing that he had actually used a nickname instead of the professor's full name.

"Cas," The older man repeated with a small chuckle.

"Oh, uhm, I'm sorry, I know it's not my place to give you nicknames, I'm not trying to be rude, I promise," Dean was quick to apologise, sensing that something was wrong.

"No, no, don't apologise. It's alright. I actually like it. It's just- I have an older brother, he used to use that nickname against me, more in a teasing way than an innocent way. But I don't mind it, coming from you." Castiel explained, and Dean nodded with slight relief that he hadn't somehow insulted him.

"Well, that's older brothers for ya," he said with a laugh as he remembered all the times he would call his brother Sammy just to annoy him, but it had become a thing between them where it was only Dean who was allowed to call him Sammy and it had stopped bothering him in the end.

"Yes, trust me, I know the torture of having one. I've got four."

"Hey, we're not all that bad!" Dean defended himself, knowing full well just how bad older brothers were at teasing from his own personal experience with Sam.

"I suppose, mine were just assholes," Castiel muttered, taking a long sip from his drink.

"Were?" Dean asked quietly, watching Castiel's expression carefully.

"Don't worry, they're not dead. I just don't speak to them. Or, rather, they don't speak to me," he chuckled bitterly, taking another swig from his beer.

"I'm really sorry. That must be pretty hard," Dean spoke quietly, placing his hand on Castiel's knee. "I don't understand why, though. You seem like a pretty awesome guy."

"Thank you, Dean. But to my family, I am nothing but an _abomination." The_ last word left his lips with so much venom, Dean could almost feel the venomous sting that he had spat out into the open.

"You're not a murder, or something, are you?" Dean asked lightheartedly, trying to lighten up the mood with a little bit of his humorous remarks.

Castiel cracked a small smile, shaking his head slightly. "No, but I might as well have been."

"What could seriously be worse than being a murderer?" Dean asked in disbelief with his eyebrows furrowed.

Castiel remained quiet, staring blankly at his shoes, lost in his thoughts. Dean could sense how hard this was on him, so he placed his hand on his shoulder in a friendly manner, squeezing it reassuringly.

"Dean, I'm- I'm not exactly...," Castiel started but he stopped mid-sentence, taking in a deep breath. "I don't know why," he continued after a few moments, "But I feel like I could trust you with all of my problems," Castiel admitted, looking up to meet Dean's gaze. The younger man's breath hitched in his throat because that was one thing he wasn't expecting from this stranger whom he was getting to know so well only after a couple of interactions, and because, for some reason, he found that he could trust him just as well.

"You can trust me, Cas. Whatever you have to get off your chest, I promise I'll keep it a secret. Who am I gonna tell anyway?" He reassured him with a small smile that Castiel returned weakly.

"I don't know, your college friends maybe."

"I don't have many of those," Dean admitted with a shrug of his shoulders. "What's on your mind, Cas?" He asked him and the other man sighed, his gaze dropping back to the ground.

"Dean, you might not think of me the same after I tell you this. You probably won't even want to look at me, and it's okay. I'll understand." Castiel started and Dean only furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. What could he possibly have to tell him that was that bad that Dean would never want anything to do with him. When Dean remained silent, Castiel finally spoke, revealing the secret that wad weighing heavily on his heart. "Dean, I am a, uh, I'm a..." he took another deep breath, his blue eyes finally meeting Dean's, seeming more vulnerable than Dean had ever seen them. "I'm a homosexual," Castiel finally breathed out quietly. Even with the music playing in the background, the room had fallen too quiet for their own comfort. Castiel stared at Dean's face, trying to read his expression to figure out his reaction, but his face was impossible to read. His eyes told a different story though. They held a mixture of loss and confusion, and even nervousness. Castiel had feared that he would scare him off, and he thought perhaps Dean would bolt any second now. But the boy surprised the both of them when his hand reached for Castiel's cheek and pulled him closer until their lips had met in a soft kiss. Castiel was taken aback by the gesture but his shoulders soon relaxed and his eyes closes as he kissed him back, but as soon as Castiel had reacted to Dean's touch, the younger boy suddenly pulled back, as though he had been possessed only seconds ago and he was back to his normal self. He stared at Castiel who looked at him in confusion, with his green eyes wide and afraid. His breathing had become faster and Dean could hear his heartbeat in his chest.

"I'm- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- I'm, I'm not-, I'm sorry," Dean stuttered, his voice quiet and his throat dry. He dropped the bottle of beer from his hand and stood up fast from his seat on the couch. Without another word, he turned around and made his way to the front door.

"Hold on, Dean," Castiel tried to call out for him, because he was just as confused as Dean if not more, but Dean did not turn back. He ran to his car as fast as his legs allowed him in his situation, driving off and back home as fast as he could.

But Dean found himself parking his car on campus near the girls' dormitory, where he snuck in and ran up the stairs two at a time until he had reached the third floor, speed walking past the different girls giving him odd looks unless they were flirtatious, but he paid them no attention as he reached the last door on the right that he had been in plenty in the past week. He knocked twice on the door, yelling out "Charlie, Luna, it's Dean. I'm comin' in," before opening the door and barging in, only to find the girls pulling away from what appeared to be a heated make out session.

"Oh, oh God," he groaned, his face cringing, as he turned around closing the door behind him.

"Well, hello to you too, Dean," Charlie started with an amused smirk. "We were in the middle of something, as you can see, so if you could make it quick." She told him until she noticed the panicked look on his face.

"You okay there, Dean?" Luna asked him and he shook his head as he started pacing around the room in a hurried frenzy.

"Hey, hey, slow down. Sit down and tell us what's wrong," Charlie tried to calm him down, concern laced in her voice.

"How did you even get into the girls' dorms?" Luna wondered with a chuckle, since men were strictly prohibited from entering the building.

"I snuck in," he replied as though it weren't that obvious, but he still paced around the room, going back and forth until Charlie had had enough.

"Yo, princess, will you sit down and talk to us? You're making me dizzy!" Charlie snapped him out of his trance and Dean only looked at her with his puppy eyes, like he was a poor dog who had just been kicked to the curb.

"Hey, be nice," Luna told her in a quiet but stern voice only for her girlfriend to roll her eyes at her.

"Did you steal something? Did you kill someone? Is it something illegal? It's scandalous isn't it? God, yes, I'm craving some good gossip," Charlie started asking him questions in a ramble. Dean had stopped in his tracks finally, giving Charlie an odd look, and then soon replacing it by a glare. He took a deep breath before finally speaking up.

"I- I kissed him." Dean admitted quietly, waiting for the girls' reaction, but they seemed unphased by his revelation. When they had failed to react in an outrageous way as he had expected, only staring at him with their eyes wide and expectant, waiting for more details probably, Dean looked at them with a frown, taken aback by their lacking reaction. "What?" He snapped at their look.

"You kissed him. And?" Charlie asked and he furrowed his eyebrows deeper in confusion.

"And what?"

"Who is "he" and how did it go, idiot."

Dean sighed, biting down on his lower lip in nervousness. He didn't know if he should have told them who he was talking about, but he figured he could trust Charlie. After all, she trusted him. "It's uh, it's Cas. Uhm, Castiel." He mumbled, his eyes darting to the floor.

"OH MY GOD! DEAN WINCHESTER! YOU MADE OUT WITH THE HOT PROFESSOR!"

Dean's eyes widened at Luna's reaction, taken aback by her sudden outburst. This was the loudest he had ever heard her, and he didn't even know such a voice could come out of her mouth. He quickly placed his hand on her mouth to shut her up, his eyes darting from her to the door in panic. "Hey! Hey, keep your fricken voice down!" He hissed at her. "And no, we did NOT make out!"

"So, what happened then?" Charlie asked him and Dean sighed as he sat down on the chair by the desk facing the bed the girls were sitting on.

"Well, I got a call at the garage, and this guy needed help fixing a flat wheel, so I went over there before heading home and it turned out to be Professor Novak, so I fixed his car and then he invited me in for a drink and I went in and we had a drink and he has this huge record collection and well, I love records and we listened to music and then we talked and he told me- he told me he was _gay,"_ he whispered his last word, as though it were taboo and he'd be killed the moment he had said it. "And, I don't know what came over me and I kissed him. He was surprised and when he reacted I just- it was like I came to, and I just, I kinda ran outta there."

The girls sat there listening to him in silence. When he was done with his small rant, they remained quiet, staring at him with pensive eyes as they tried to make sense of his story.

"Okay," Charlie started, "so, what I understand is that, you like this professor."

"No, I don't! I don't even know him!" Dean argued but Charlie only rolled her eyes at him.

"But you are attracted to him, right?"

"I'm- I don't know!" he grumbled, leaning back in the chair and staring up at the ceiling. "This is all so confusing." He sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing his cheek with his palm furiously.

"Well, have you ever kissed a boy before?" Luna asked him and Dean just started at her as he bit the inside of his cheek. He finally nodded his head, yes.

"Just- just this one time. But I was drunk, you know. I've been with girls before." Dean explained and they both nodded in understanding.

"You could be into both girls and boys, you know. There's nothing wrong with that," Charlie told him, trying to reassure him.

"I-," he sighed, nodding his head. "I know there isn't. But it's not- I didn't think it was me," he admitted and Charlie got up, wrapping her arms around his frame in a hug.

"It's okay, buddy. You'll figure it out." She reassured him.

"Look, how did it make you feel, when you kissed Castiel?" Luna asked him, and Dean just furrowed his eyebrows as he thought back to that moment. A small smile made its way onto his face and he chuckled.

"I mean, it was, it was good. He had _really_ soft lips," he laughed out and Luna grinned, nodding her head.

"I always thought he did," she laughed along only for Charlie to smack her arm jokingly. "Ouch, hey! Charlie! I'm kidding! Jeez. Anyway. So you wanna do it again?" She turned her attention back to Dean. After a moment's thought, he nodded his head again, yes.

"But I can't face him again. That was the most embarrassing moment of my life! So far, it seems he's been there at the worst moments of my life, God," he muttered, rubbing his eyes as his cheeks heated up at the memories.

"It'll be okay, Dean. You'll figure it out," Charlie reassured him, placing her hand on his shoulder comfortingly. Dean nodded, leaning forward on his knees, just hoping she was right. He had never been so lost with his feelings before. Not even Lisa from senior year had made him feel the way Castiel had when their lips had touched for a mere few seconds, and he barely even knew the guy, which only scared Dean a lot. He didn't know what was going to happen, and he was afraid to find out.

Monday came by, and Dean was forced to get out of bed, get dressed and make a public appearance. Despite his want to remain hidden from everyone, but especially a specific blue eyed someone, he couldn't to be absent to any of his lectures, as much as he wanted to. So he sucked it up, got out bed, grumbling and stomping his feet all the way to the bathroom to take a quick shower before getting dressed in  his jeans and a button up shirt. It was getting colder outside, so he grabbed his denim fur jacket and slipped into it, before grabbing his backpack and keys and making his way out. He walked all the way toward the college campus where he was met by Charlie near the main entrance gates.

"Hey, Dean," she told him with a friendly punch on the shoulder. Dean glanced at her as he kept on walking, giving her a weirded out look and Charlie only sent him back her famous toothy grin.

"Hi, Charlie," he sighed, looking back in front of him as he walked toward the college cafeteria to get himself a cup of coffee before getting to class since he still had ten minutes to spare. The two of them waited in line in an awkward silence. Dean could feel Charlie's burning stare into the back of his head. He knew she had something to say, but was biting her tongue back. So he finally turned around after a few moments when it had gotten unbearable and hissed, "just spit it out, Charlie," moving up in line when it was his turn to order. "Just a black coffee, please," he told the barista who nodded and turned around to get his order ready. Dean handed him the few coins he had in his pocket before making his way back outside, Charlie following him close behind.

"How was your weekend?" She started, making small talk. Dean rolled his eyes as he walked into the building where their class was. He started climbing up the stairs, drinking his coffee and trying his best not to lash out at his friend who was starting to get on his nerves so early in the morning. Dean was not exactly the morning type. "Alright, I see we're not feeling too chatty today," Charlie chuckled as they entered their maths class and went to sit next to each other in the back of the lecture hall.

"Sorry, it just wasn't a very good weekend," he snapped on hush voice, as he sat down, throwing his back pack on the ground and placing his cup of coffee on the small desk attached to his chair.

"Is it because of _Castiel_?" Charlie asked him, whispering the man's name quietly, leaning closer to Dean in case anyone was listening for some reason.

"I can't stop thinking about the k- about what happened," Dean admitted, feeling the back of his neck heating up slightly. "I can't face him."

"Yes, you can! You should go see him so that you two could figure out what you're gonna do about this situation," Charlie told him but Dean only shook his head furiously.

"No, thanks. I'd rather not see him ever again," Dean mumbled just as their professor walked into class. They both grabbed their books and placed them on their tables.

"Well, it's not a very large campus. You're gonna run into him eventually," Charlie pointed out and Dean's stomach churned at the thought of running into the pair of crystal blue eyes that were occupying his mind all weekend long. He remained quiet as their professor started discussing a concept that he did not care much about. His mind was too preoccupied with a certain lean, black haired, deep-voiced professor. To his relief, Charlie also remained quiet, choosing to focus on the lesson rather than bug Dean with questions and advice they both knew he'd only reject, and before they both knew it, class was over. Dean rushed out of there as fast as his feet allowed him in the student traffic.

"You didn't take a single note," Charlie mentioned as she joined his side outside in the hall.

"Note taking is not exactly my thing," he told her and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Well, don't come running after mine before the exam in two weeks," she told him with a small smirk, but Dean suddenly looked at her with panicky eyes.

"Wait it's in two weeks? What the heck, since when?" He shrieked, glancing back into the classroom they had just left to see if the professor had written anything about it on the chalkboard but he had already erased everything.

"It's in the syllabus, idiot, if you'd bothered reading it in the first place," Charlie told him with a mocking laugh.

"Who even reads the syllabus? Those things were specifically made to be ignored," he muttered as he went back on his way to his next class. "Why are you following me? Don't you have a class?" He asked Charlie who was walking right beside him.

"No, I'm not obsessed with you, you know. My next class was cancelled," she told him and he nodded as they made their way down the stairs and out the building. As he was turning the corner, he spotted at the very end of the hall a beige coloured trench coat worn by a man who was walking in their direction. Suddenly, Dean was grabbing Charlie by the arm and dragging her back up the stairs. "What- Dean, hey, ow!" She pulled her arm out his grip and sent him a deadly glare. "What's going on, Dean?" She demanded, but he ignored her completely, leaning back forward to check the hall. Once he was sure it was clear he released a breath he wasn't even aware he was holding in and went back to walking in the direction of the exit. "Dude!" Charlie called out as she followed him.

"It's nothing, don't worry." He muttered, stuffing his fists in the pockets of his denim jacket.

"You saw him, didn't you? So, we're hiding now?"

"What? No, of course not, I'm not crazy. Pft." He replied, giving her a look as though she were the crazy one between the two of them in that moment. "Anyway, I have a class to get to, so, I'll see you later."

"Nope! I'm not talking to you until you talk to him!" She called back as he started walking in the other direction.

"I'll see you later, red!" He yelled back with a grin as he got further from her only for her to flip him off.

"Don't call me that, you ass!"

Dean laughed as he turned around to focus on the road, only to run into a hard surface.

_"Oh my God, I'm sorry! Are you okay?"_

Dean took a few steps back to adjust as he rubbed his forehead that had come into contact with the other person's elbow. "No, it's my fault," he started, when his eyes finally focused on the other guy. And of course, he wasn't surprised. Because luck was _never_ on his side.

"Dean-," Castiel started but before he could say anything else, Dean was running the other after mumbling something incoherent along the lines of "late to class," leaving Castiel to let out a heavy sigh and slump his shoulders as he stared at Dean's disappearing figure.

For the next couple of days, any time Dean spotted a black suit, a trench coat, or just anyone wearing either or even a combination of the two, he found himself walking in the opposite direction, hiding, and waiting until the coast was clear before going back in the direction he had been walking in originally. He had even avoided calls at the garage while he was working, volunteering as much as he could with the cars that needed almost everything fixed so that he could always use the "I'm very busy" card with his boss and coworkers, and it had mostly worked. He would only have to answer the phone during his short break or whenever he was closest to it. He also avoided the roadhouse because he knew that Ellen would be able to sniff out his problem and want to talk about it and he really wasn't in the mood for her probing, or anyone's probing, which was why he had also tried to avoid Charlie, but avoiding her, now, that was damn near impossible because if Charlie wanted your attention, she would get it. She had even come over to his place on Wednesday when he hadn't shown up at the Roadhouse as he had promised her earlier that day when they had seen each other at university between classes. He had even resorted to actually opening his course books and try studying to avoid having to discuss anything other than homework with Charlie, and it was the best excuse to avoid having Bobby and Ellen force him down to town to see them. Ellen did send Bobby over to check up on him though with a chicken casserole to make sure the boy was eating well. Dean was actually proud of himself because he had managed to solve all of the problems assigned by his maths professor and start with his English essay during his time of "hiding."

Thursday was not his day, though. He had three back to back classes and had to visit the library right after to start his research for a history paper due the next week. He made his way that afternoon to the library after the three most tiring and boring classes he had ever sat in, taking a bite from the turkey and cheese sandwich in his hand. He finished it quick and threw the wrapper in the garbage can right outside the building before making his way inside. He found his way to the history section where he started digging through the shelves for the books and encyclopaedias he would need for his assignment. He grabbed a book that seemed helpful and started flipping through it.

"I thought it was you," a quiet voice made him jump. Dean looked up, his green orbs taking in Castiel's tall frame. He was dressed in a white button up shirt with its sleeves rolled up to his elbows, tucked into black trousers. His eyes darted behind Castiel to see if he could escape but he was blocking the way. He had nowhere to run. He wasn't surprised that Thursday would be the day he would no longer be able to follow through with his plan of hiding away for the rest of his life. After all, the man he was hiding from who had found him was named after the angel of Thursday. Castiel seemed to have noticed Dean's eyes darting back and forth between his face and the rest of the aisle behind him. "You can't run this time, Dean."

"What do you want from me, Castiel?" He told him through gritted teeth. Castiel only sighed, the expression on his face softening as he noticed the nervous look in Dean's green eyes.

"I just want to talk," he assured him but Dean wasn't having it. He just wasn't ready yet.

"I have work," he told him, pushing past him and going to sit at the desk nearby where he had his things sprawled out. He sat down at his chair and tried his best go look busy and focused on the papers and reading material in front of him, but of course he was too distracted by the professor who was standing right behind him now.

"Dean, please. You're not the only one who's having a hard time here. You were the one who-," Castiel stopped talking when a pair of students walked past them, looking through the books on the shelves around them. He leaned in closer, his mouth right next to Dean's ear. Dean's whole body seemed to be electrocuted, the hairs on the back of his neck rising as goosebumps lined his arms. "Dean, I'm just as- as confused, as you are. If not more. You ran out, remember? I think we at least owe each other a conversation to make sense of this — whatever this is."

Dean chewed on the inside of his cheek as he thought deeply of Castiel's words. He remained quiet, staring blankly at the page in the book placed and forgotten in front of him.

"Look, I'll be in my office from 4 till 6 for my office hours with my students. I can reschedule the meetings. Just be there. Please." He pleaded before gently touching Dean's arm, almost like a ghost touch, before walking off the other way. Dean's eyes followed his every move until he was out of sight. When he couldn't see him anymore, his head fell, hitting his forehead against the book in front of him. He let out a groan as his stomach churned at the thought of meeting with Castiel in his office.

Dean sat in that library working for hours, from when he sat there at one in the afternoon, until it was well past five, and almost six in the afternoon. He had already closed all his books and placed them in his backpack with only his hands on the table, fiddling nervously with his fingers. Finally, at twenty to six, he let out a heavy breath as he got out of his seat and made his way outside, walking quick to the other side of the campus where Castiel's office was before his anxiousness took control and changed his mind. He was standing in front of the brown, wooden door a couple of minutes later, and he just paced in front of it for a few moments, his hand going back and forth between knocking and not. He was almost going to walk away, contemplating just how much Castiel would hate him for him, when the door to his office opened and there he stood right in front of him, carrying his briefcase and coat in his hands.

"Dean," he breathed out. Castiel cleared his throat as he looked at the younger boy with genuine surprise on his face. "I thought you weren't going to show," he spoke with slight disappointment in his voice, as though he would have actually been hurt had Dean stood him up.

"Well, you said please." Dean replied, trying to lighten the mood a little, and perhaps it had worked because Castiel smiled, letting out a small laugh as he opened the door further, allowing Dean to walk inside.

"Right, I did," he said as he closed the door behind them once they were both inside. He pointed at the chair in front of the desk, gesturing for Dean to sit down, but the kid was more interested in staring at every item in the room, taking it all in

"Nice office," he complimented quietly, his eyes fixated on a picture of a younger Castiel and a woman with her hands on his shoulders.

"Thank you," he replied, noticing Dean staring at the only picture present in the office, besides a few paintings.

"Your mom?" Dean asked and Castiel nodded.

"I'm sorry," Dean whispered as his eyes turned to Castiel who only looked at him in confusion. "Your mom... I know that look. I've mastered that look," he chuckled as he looked at Castiel with sympathy.

"Oh," Castiel mumbled, looking back at the picture of him and his mother when he was still a kid. "Thank you, Dean. And I'm sorry too, I suppose." Dean only nodded as he inspected the office some more.

"Was it bad?" He asked him in a gentler voice and Castiel nodded, his gaze dropping to the ground.

"She was very ill during her last year. I'm glad she's no longer in pain though," He explained and Dean nodded in understanding. "How about you? If you don't mind me asking."

"Well, it was... it must have been painful, I guess. All I remember is everything on fire, my dad handing me my brother and telling me to run outside, it's all blank after that. The smell though, I can still smell everything burning." Dean recalled one of the earliest and worst memory he had. He scratched the back of his neck as Castiel apologised again, his voice soft and sympathising.

The two of them were quiet after that as Dean sat down on the chair in front of the mahogany desk and Castiel leaned on the table next to him, folding his hands over his chest.

"You look good," Castiel complimented after a little while, breaking their silence. Dean wasn't sure if he was talking about his physical health appearance or his outfit which only consisted of a leather jacket and a plain white t-shirt, but he only looked up at him and let out a chuckle.

"I'm a mess, Castiel," he told him, with a shake of his head.

"You ran away after our moment, and you kept running away from me all week long," Castiel stated, telling Dean what he already knew.

"I am aware," he replied sarcastically only for Castiel to roll his eyes at him.

"Don't give me that- that cocky, I-Don't-care attitude, Dean. I told you something personal, and you reacted, and honestly, it took me by surprise. It did, for a million different reason. And maybe you thought it was wrong, that's why you ran, and I understand. I'm not blaming you, or judging you, far from it, Dean, I want you to know that. But I need to know, and please be honest with me," Castiel stopped talking, looking down at Dean who was sat leaning back in his seat with a carefree boyish attitude but he could see it in his eyes that he wasn't feeling all that carefree, the gears in his mind turning at a million miles an hour. The younger boy looked up at him, waiting for him to continue with an expectant look in his eyes. "Did it feel wrong to you?" Castiel asked him, his voice quieter with the same vulnerability in his eyes that was present when he had come out with his secret to Dean the previous week.

Dean remained quiet, averting his gaze to the ground, finding it hard to stare directly at Castiel's face, let alone keep eye contact with him.

"It wasn't right," he said through gritted teeth but Castiel still stared at him with the same look on his face.

"But did it _feel_ wrong?" He asked him again, his voice quivering as his eyes were begging Dean to speak the truth about his feelings to him.

Dean did not answer, only stared back up at Castiel, looking like a lost and wounded animal. Castiel moved closer to him and leaned forward, his face only mere inches away from Dean's. Normally, this was when Dean's arrogance would jump out and he would yell something about 'personal space,' but for some reason, he didn't mind the professor's close proximity to him. He didn't mind his sweaty palms and his stomach dancing around the disco. Castiel was bent down so that his forehead was leaning against Dean's, his breath hitting the boy's face, raising goosebumps all over his body. His hand went to caress Dean's cheek, his thumb running over his cheekbone slowly. "Does this feel wrong, Dean?" He whispered to him so quietly that if it weren't for the deafening quiet in the room, he would have missed his words due to the loud beating of his heart. When Dean didn't answer, and didn't push him away either, Castiel allowed himself to close the remaining gap between their faces, their lips finally joining in a slow and hesitant kiss, and when Dean didn't pull back or push him away, he grabbed his face in his hands and kissed him, more sure of himself and his actions. When Dean's shoulders had finally relaxed, the green eyed boy closed his eyes and placed his hands on Castiel's shoulders, kissing him back with less hesitancy in his touch and letting Castiel know that he was okay with it, letting him deepen their kiss and parting his lips slightly, allowing Castiel to push through slip his tongue past his gentle lips, exploring his mouth with heat and want. Dean found himself twirling his tongue, almost playful, and teasing. Castiel had caught on and clenched his teeth, biting down ever so gently on Dean's lower lip. He puckered his own lips, pecking Dean's lips one more time before pulling away only slightly, leaning his forehead back against the younger boy's, allowing them both to catch their breaths.

"I don't understand what's going on here any more than you do, Dean. But I know that it's something special," Castiel whispered, his thumb tracing Dean's cheekbone gently. "I want to figure this out, I want to make it work," he told him and Dean nodded in agreement.

"I just- I don't know what this is, what I am," Dean admitted with his voice hoarse and trembling slightly. Castiel nodded in understand, placing a gentle hand on Dean's knee.

"Then let's figure it out together," he told him and Dean nodded again. "How about dinner?"

"I eat dinner," Dean replied in a daze, making Castiel break out in a grin.

"Yeah, I thought so. Do you want to come over tomorrow night? I can cook," Castiel offered with a small, hopeful smile on his face.

"Dinner sounds nice, yeah," Dean responded with the faintest smile on his face.

Castiel nodded his head as he stood up, a triumphant and excited look on his face. "Good, good," he spoke out, trying to play it cool, but Dean could tell that he was feeling overly joyous.

He chuckled, standing up and grabbing his stuff. "Well, uh, I have to get to work, so, I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He spoke, clearing his throat that was still hoarse from the make out session, he assumed.

"8 sound good?"

Dean nodded before mumbling a shy bye as he opened the door and walked outside. As he left the campus and walked all the way back to his apartment, his finger shot up absentmindedly to his lips, tracing them slowly as his mind thought back to the moment he had shared with Castiel only moment's previously. A small smile made its way onto his face as he climbed up the stairs to his apartment. He was still very confused, and had no idea what he was doing exactly, but he knew that Castiel was right, it certainly did not feel wrong.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Dean stood nervously at Castiel's front door, wiping his palms against his jeans as he waited for him to answer the door and let him inside. He hadn't put too much effort into his outfit, opting for a simple black sweater and a pair of jeans, but he wasn't proud to admit that he had spent a good thirty minutes in front of the bathroom mirror trying to comb his hair to perfection. He hadn't gotten it cut all summer, and it was getting longer already, flopping down on his face unless he had it brushed back.

He heard a little rummaging inside and footsteps approaching the door. He cleared bis throat and straightened his back, running a quick hand through his hair when the door opened, revealing Castiel's big blue eyes. He smiled at Dean and opened the door wider as Dean stepped up the step. "Dean, hello!" He told him with a grin, getting out of the way so that the other boy could walk inside. "Come in, please."

Dean stepped into the house and Castiel closed the door behind him. He placed a hand on the small of his back as he guided him to the living room, where Dean sat down on the couch, smiling nervously up at Castiel. He had no idea what to expect from this dinner, if it was considered a date at all, or if he's come out that same night with a grin or s frown.

"I'll just be a minute, I have to check on the food," Castiel told him and Dean nodded, remaining quiet, almost as if he was shy. He watched as the older boy dressed in black trousers and a tucked in light blue shirt walked out, and into the kitchen. "Make yourself at home," Castiel called back to him. "You can pick the music if you want," he told him and Dean grinned in enthusiasm as he got up and made his way to Castiel's record collection, surfing through the many vinyls. He came across the Aqualung album by Jethro Tull and smiled to himself as he grabbed the disk from the jacket and put it on the turntable, setting it up and placing the cover on the coffee table.

"Nice choice," Castiel complimented from the other room as the first notes of the song Aqualung started playing. Dean hummed along, making his way to the kitchen to join Castiel who had his back turned to him, focused on the dish in the pan cooking on the stove.

"Smells good," Dean said, announcing his presence and walked up to the counter, hoisting himself up to sit on it.

"I hope you like spaghetti," Castiel mentioned with a chuckle, glancing sideways at Dean. "That's about the only thing I can cook," he confessed and Dean let out a laugh as he watched him stir the noodle in the pot.

"Well, that's one more than I can," Dean replied and they both laughed at his comment.

"Not a big fan of the kitchen?" Castiel asked, removing the pan with the sauce in it and mixing it with the noodles in the other pot. Dean watched him with mesmerised eyes, focused on his every move from his seat on the counter.

"Not really, no," he told him, "Never really had anyone to learn it from. We basically grew up on take out, junk food, and frozen foods."

"Oh, I'm really sorry, that must not have been very pleasant," Castiel gave him an empathetic smile, squeezing Dean's knee in comfort and then turned his focus back on his cooking.

"It was alright, thanksgiving and christmas were mostly spent with uncle Bobby and Ellen, and sometimes even during the summer. Ellen's a really great chef, she makes really good food and always sent us back with plenty to last us a while," Dean explained and the other man nodded as he lowered the fire beneath the pot. He turned around to the other counter where a bowl of salad was present and went to mix in the dressing.

"So, they're really special to you, Bobby and Ellen?" Castiel asked, turning to look at Dean as he placed the bowl in the middle of the dining table in the kitchen.

Dean nodded his head as he replied. "They helped a lot in raising Sammy and I. I owe them a lot." He jumped off the counter, landing on his feet and leaned back to watch Castiel set the table for the two of them. "Do you need help?" He asked and Castiel only shook his head.

"Nope, I'm all done here. Don't worry yourself today, Dean. It's all on me," he smiled at him softly, placing his palm gently on Dean's cheek and caressing it lightly as he made his way past him toward the stove. Dean could feel the heat rush to the spot that Castiel had touched on his face  ever so slightly when he had removed his hand to pour the contents of the pot into a proper dish and turning the stove off. He cleared his throat, averting his gaze to avoid Castiel noticing his slight blush. When the older man had finished setting the food on the table, he looked up at Dean who was still staring at the ground and furrowed his eyebrows at him.

"You okay?" He asked him and Dean only nodded his head, sending him a reassuring smile. "Well, then, dinner is served," he said with a chuckle and Dean grinned at him as he sat down opposite Castiel, his mouth almost watering at the appetising food in front of him.

"This all looks great, Cas. Thank you for having me," he told him with a small, shy smile and Cas only sent him a grin in response.

"Oh! Almost forgot, what would you like to drink?" Castiel asked as he jumped up from his seat and went to the fridge, opening it up. "I've got everything, I guess."

"Uh, just a soda is fine, thanks," Dean told him and Castiel grabbed them both a bottle of Cola. He sat back down at the table excitedly and went on to serve them both some spaghetti.

Dean grabbed his fork as soon as his plate was set in front of him, and he dug into his food. He took the first bite, his head falling back and his eyes closing as he chewed on the heavenly Italian food.

"What do you think?" Castiel asked him, a little nervous as he awaited his response. Dean had not even swallowed yet when he pushed his forked into his mouth again. He nodded his head enthusiastically once he had swallowed the food in his mouth, looking up to find Castiel staring at him with a little smile on his face.

"Is- is there something on my face?" Dean frowned, grabbing a napkin from the table and pressing it against his lips and cheeks.

"No, you're fine, Dean," Castiel responded with a small laugh. "So I take it, you liked the food?" He asked as he twirled his fork around his plate.

"It's awesome, dude, literally the best Italian food I've ever had!" Dean responded as he twirled some noodles onto his fork and stuffing his mouth with more food.

"Flattery won't get you anywhere, you know," Castiel winked at him jokingly and Dean only rolled his eyes at him, but he could feel the heat creeping up his neck. He merely cleared his throat and went back to eating the food on his plate as Castiel chuckled and turned hid attention as well back to his food. It was a little quiet with only the sound of music coming from the other room and their forks clinking against the plates as they ate. Dean was too focused on his food, but Castiel was enjoying the younger man's soft, angelic features. He barely ate, finding admiring the boy sitting in front of him a much more interesting task. Dean had finished his plate really fast and he finally looked up at Castiel, giving him a weird look, having caught him staring. Castiel grinned as he noticed a little bit of sauce had gotten on Dean's face. He grabbed a tissue and leaned over the table, wiping his cheek gently until it was clean. Dean's cheeks had turned a bright shade of pink as Castiel's hand lingered on his skin, his thumb gently tracing over his cheekbone. Not a single word was uttered as they both stared at each other, green eyes meeting deep sea blue ones, their breathing becoming more ragged as they were both obviously fighting the urge to close the small gap between them that was causing all the heated tension in the room.

"Cas," Dean whispered, his hand shooting up as he placed his palm over Castiel's hand that was still on his cheek, keeping him close. Castiel hummed in response, waiting for the other boy to continue talking as he was much too mesmerised by his moving lips. "What are we doing here?" Dean whispered so quietly that if Castiel hadn't been leaning so close to him, he might have missed the words.

"I'm... not sure," Castiel whispered back, his fingers pushing Dean's soft hair back, off his face.

"What are we, Cas?" Dean asked him, his eyes darting from the other man's eyes, to his slightly parted lips.

"What do you want us to be?" Castiel asked in response and that seemed to have snapped Dean out of his trance. He leaned back slightly? causing Castiel's arm to fall back on the table as he couldn't reach his face any more. Castiel sat back himself in his chair, looking at Dean with his eyebrows furrowed as he waited for his response. Dean stared at the man before him as he thought of his question. What did Dean want out of this? A friendship? A friendship with benefits, perhaps? Or did he want an actual relationship, one similar to the one he shared with Lisa back in high school, and perhaps even more? He knew for sure that Castiel made him feel different, different in a certainly better way. No one had ever made his heart flutter the way Castiel had. Definitely not someone he had only meant a few weeks prior. He had never felt the way he had in that exact moment, and he didn't think he would ever feel that way again, not with another person at least. He didn't know Castiel all that well, but he was sure that there was something special about that man. He knew that no other man, and no other woman, could ever make him feel the way Castiel would. He feared that if he did get to know him any better, he would certainly fall, and he would fall hard. He was afraid of losing control because of a person, and that Castiel would hold such a power over him. That's why he never let himself have an actual relationship before. Anyone he was ever attracted to, he would push away. But he didn't want to push Castiel away. He wanted to get closer to him, he wanted to get to know him better, he wanted to know all the details and small stories from his childhood, and he wanted to see him every day. He didn't want to feel the itch he got every day when he didn't know whether he would run into him or not, because he wanted to see him. He wanted to be able to be closer to him because he simply could. He didn't want to push him away. Somehow, the idea of falling for Castiel wasn't so bad. It had actually seemed more of an adventure to him.

"I want to get to know you better," Dean finally replied after a few moments of thought, sending Castiel a small smile. Castiel sent him a grin, nodding his head.

"Alright, consider me an open book," he replied. "How about I get dessert and we'll sit in the other room and spill our guts?" Castiel suggested as he stood up and Dean followed suit.

"I hope you don't mean that literally," Dean joked as he stood up to make his way to the hall. Castiel laughed, going to the fridge to grab the tub of vanilla ice cream. He grabbed two spoons and joined Dean on the couch. Dean happily took a spoon from Castiel and took a large bit of ice cream to eat.

They had gone through three entire albums as they sat on the couch, eating their ice cream from the small tub that was empty ten minutes into their talk. The whole night was spent with the boys sitting opposite each other on the couch and telling each other stories about themselves that they thought the other person would enjoy. They talked about everything and nothing, learning things about one another that they otherwise wouldn't have ever known. Dean had learned that Castiel was only nine years older than him, born on the rainy Thursday the 16th, December of 1943 in Los Angeles. He came from a rather extremely religious family, hence the reason why he was named after the angel of Thursday. Castiel had also learned that Dean was a huge fan of all sorts of myths and lore, which is why he also knew the meaning behind Castiel's name, which really had taken him by surprise, Dean jokingly feeling insulted that Castiel had taken him for a jock that did not enjoy studying and only cared for having fun. They talked about their families, how Castiel had four older brothers, all named after archangels, named Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, and Lucifer. He claimed that Lucifer really was the devil's spawn, which had made Dean burst out laughing and apologise furiously when Castiel hadn't found it all that amusing. Dean later found out that Lucifer had once bleached his younger brother's hair by contaminating his shampoo, which was among other pranks that had Castiel abandon all fondness of his older brother, which also had Dean clutching his stomach in laughter, and also have to apologise after when Castiel only stared at him with a straight, unamused face. Dean in turn told him all about the pranks that he and Sammy had pulled on each other, such as the one that included Sam shaving Dean's eyebrows once while he was asleep. Dean had cut Sam's hair in response that time and they had called it truce for a whole year until Dean mixed Sam's orange juice with toothpaste while he wasn't looking. Castiel laughed at Dean's stories of his brother. He told him how much he missed the little rugrat, even though he was a pain in the ass at times. He would do anything for his younger brother, and Castiel admitted that he was jealous, because his older siblings would never have his back the way Dean had his brother's. They talked about their favourite films, and their favourite singers, and their favourite bands, and favourite songs. Their favourite memories and their most embarrassing moments. Their favourite foods, and foods that they couldn't even think about without wanting to puke. They talked about their future dreams, their pet peeves, and their guilty pleasures. They mentioned past relationships and experiences. Dean learned that Castiel one girlfriend in the past. Her name was Hannah and she was not very good at anything relationship-wise, but he hadn't blamed her because it was both their first relationships. After that, Castiel had come into terms with his sexuality and had started going out with men, but he had only ever been with three, only one of which, his most recent one, had lasted long enough for the break-up to actually hurt Castiel, and it was with a man named Balthazar who had ended up sleeping with another man, causing Castiel to leave him. Castiel was so emotional that he had told his family who were not so happy with his life choices, being as religious as they were. His father, Charles, had asked him to leave and was more than happy to pay for all his necessities only if it meant that he would not shame their family name in the town they lived in back in Los Angeles, and that was how Castiel had ended up here in Texas. Castiel had learnt that Dean had never really been with a boy before, but Dean did admit that he had known for a while that he was into boys as well for some  
time now, when he found himself finding the thought of shirtless men as exciting as the thought of shirtless women. Castiel assured him that it didn't matter who he liked, or if he still hadn't figured out himself yet, that he was still young and had to experience so many stuff before he truly understood himself, and that he would be there for him to help him figure it all out. Dean had never been more grateful to have someone he could talk openly about these things with like he could with Castiel. He couldn't even talk to Sammy back home. He couldn't bare the idea of losing his brother for something as stupid as him finding boys attractive and he would have rather not taken the chance.

It was well past midnight when Dean had let a yawn slip, finding it hard to keep his eyes open. "I should probably get going," Dean mumbled, stretching his limbs. He rubbed his eyes with his hands, trying to push away the sleep but he could already feel the heavy weight of his limbs. Their discussion had come to a halt only moments earlier when they had both found themselves yawning. Castiel seemed a little disappointed to see Dean leave but he stood up and walked him to the door, nevertheless.

"Thank you for coming tonight, Dean. I really had a great time," Castiel told him as he shrugged on his jacket. Dean smiled at him once he was wearing his jacket.

"It really was fun, so, thank you for having me," he replied, fumbling with his keys in his pocket. They stood their in silence, neither one of them wanting to make the next move to open the front door. So, Castiel did the only thing he wanted to do, and had been wanting to all night long. He leaned forward, pressing his lips ever so gently against Dean's. The boy instantly responded this time, his eyes closing and hands holding Castiel's waist as he kissed him back just as gently. Castiel's hands ran up Dean's side, resting on his broad shoulders and locking at the back of his neck. His fingers rand through his hair as he deepened their kiss, pushing Dean back against the front door. Dean's hands ran up and down Castiel's back, drawing random, soothing patterns as he kissed him deeply, his lips parted and his tongue battling Castiel's for dominance, but as much of a tease as he was, Castiel was much more experienced as Dean already knew and he knew exactly hot to make the boy's knees weaker than they already were. He traced his fingers ever so gently on his skin as his teeth grazed his bottom lip in a playful bite. Dean cussed at the feeling which had not so surprisingly excited him even more. He let himself lean back against the door, allowing Castiel to hold the reins and take the lead as he kissed him with so much heat and passion. Dean finally pulled back after a while to catch his breath, but Castiel wasn't ready to let go just yet. His lips travelled down Dean's cheek, leaving s trail of wet kisses down his jawline, causing Dean to hiss and bite down on his lower lip as Cas's lips reached his neck. He let the other boy's name slip through his mouth in a soft whisper trying to get him to stop before he would start involuntarily moaning with pleasure, but Cas didn't stop, and Dean didn't really want him to and hadn't told him to in the first place. When Castiel's lips reached the spot right under Dean's ear, Dean finally let out a soft moan. Castiel pressed a feather kiss on that spot again and buried his face in the nape of Dean's neck right after.

"Don't leave yet," Castiel pleaded him and Dean didn't want to leave. He held Castiel's face in his hands and nodded before pulling him in for another kiss. Between hid lonely, small, and intolerably hot apartment, and staying with Castiel where he would get more of _this_ , of course he chose the latter choice, as bad of an idea as it was. Dean pushed Castiel back, keeping their lips locked as he walked them to the living room. They kicked off their shoes and Dean laid on his back on the couch, pulling Castiel right on top of him by the collar of his shirt. Castiel chuckled as he leaned backed down to pressed multiple kisses all over the boy's face. Dean scrunched his nose making Castiel laugh and kiss it again and then pecking his lips softly. They went back to a soft and slow kissing session until they had both run out of breath, so they laid there on the couch, wrapped in each other's arms. Castiel had moved beneath Dean who was now laying with on leg over Castiel's, and his arms wrapped around his waist. The older man leaned his chin on top of Dean's head and kept a hand on his back, rubbing it soothingly. At the gentle gesture, Dean had found it hard to keep his eyes open any further, so he didn't fight it anymore and let himself fall asleep in Castiel's arms.

Dean woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee and sunlight glaring at him through the window. He groaned as he blinked his eyes open, remembering the events of the previous night. He remembered falling asleep on Castiel's couch, but he didn't remember making it to a bed, which he assumed was Castiel's. He pulled back the covers and sat up, dangling his legs off the side of the bed until they hit the floor. He winced as his toes came into contact with the cold floor, stretching his limbs as a yawn escaped his mouth. He looked around for a watch, and let out a small cuss under his breath as he realised that he wouldn't have time to go back to his place to get his stuff before going to work. He sighed as he stood up, stretching his legs as he looked around Castiel's room. It was left pretty simple, with light blue bedsheets and white drapes. There was a single cupboard and a single desk in the corner. The room was connected to a bathroom. There weren't many pictures or decorations apart for a few books scattered here and there and a few paintings and posters hung on the wall. It was quite the adult room. He found his shoes in the corner of the room near the door and slipped them on before making his way downstairs. He followed the smell of coffee which led him to the kitchen. He found Castiel sitting in his pyjamas at the kitchen table with a stack of papers in front of him and a dirty bowl of cereal that was already empty. He looked up when he heard Dean coming in and sent him a wide grin, setting his pen down.

"Good morning!" Castiel said excitedly and Dean smiled at him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. Castiel took that hand in his and squeezed it gently, grabbing his pen once more and going back go writing notes on what seemed to be a student written paper. "There's fresh coffee in the pot, and I could whip you up some breakfast if you'd like, there's eggs and bacon," Castiel told him but Dean only shook his head.

"It's okay, I'm going to be late for work," he replied, leaning forward so that his chin was resting on Castiel's head. "I do have a question though," Dean wondered, his eyes aimlessly running over the messy scrawl on the paper in the professor's hand.

"Shoot," Castiel responded unfocused, scratching and scrawling in red in the margins.

"How did I end up in your bed? Last I remember was falling asleep on the couch," Dean chuckled, eyeing Castiel's half full mug of black coffee and deciding on grabbing it to take a quick sip.

"I carried you up, I didn't want to wake you up and ruin your sleep, and you're not as heavy as you look," Castiel explained, glancing at his hand as he settled the mug back on the table. He chuckled, shaking his head at the ridiculous boy. "There's a whole pot on the counter, Dean," he pointed out but Dean only grinned, ruffling Castiel's hair as he stood back up straight.

"Don't be so selfish, Cas," he joked with a laugh. "Anyway, I'm gonna head out and hope I don't get my ass whopped by Mr. Rogers. I'll see you," he leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss on Castiel's cheek before turning around to make his way outside. Castiel looked up as he heard the front door open and a frown settled on his face as he stood up hastily and jogged up to Dean who was standing on the front porch, shrugging in his jagging.

"Wait, Dean, uh," Castiel furrowed his eyebrows as he thought to the words that he wanted to tell the boy standing in front of him.

"Yeah, Cas?" When Castiel didn't exactly respond Dean rolled his eyes, sending him an amused smile. "I'm not staying again, you can't even force me with your kisses, I gotta go to work," he told him, pointing an accusatory index finger at Castiel's chest. Castiel only laughed, shaking his head at him.

"No, no, I'm not making you stay. I was just wondering..." He trailed off, his hand shooting up to the back of his neck as he thought of his next words, Dean waiting patiently and expectant with hid hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket. "Are we- is this a, uhm..." Castiel let out a sigh as he finally blurted out what has been weighing on his mind. "Are we starting a, uh, a relationship here?"

Dean's eyebrows furrowed in response as he had not expected that question from Castiel but he nodded his head, a small smile making its way onto his face. "Yeah, yeah I guess we are, I mean, if you want to, of course."

Castiel grinned at him and nodded his head. "Yes, I do. I'd love to take you out."

"Sure, just tell me when and where," Dean replied, twirling his keys between his fingers, a happy grin appearing on his face.

"I'll tell you when," Castiel teased him but Dean's smile dropped and turned into a pout.

"I hate surprises," he told him but Castiel only sent him a teasing smirk in response. "So, like, you're my boyfriend now, then? I'm your boyfriend?"

Castiel nodded, biting down on his lower lip as he fought the urge to grin toothily, holding in his excitement. He looked over Dean's shoulder, making sure the coast was clear and that no one was around in the neighbourhood. When he was sure that they weren't being watched, he grabbed Dean's waist and pulled him against himself, locking his lips with the younger boy's plump, pink ones in a quick and heated kiss. He pulled away only a few seconds later, sending Dean a teasing smirk as he pushed him back onto the front porch. "Alright, I'll call you. You're going to be late for work," he told him and closed the door in his face.

Dean let out a small laugh as he chewed on his lower lip in excitement, walking back toward his parked car in the driveway. He felt his pants tighten as he sat down in the car, glancing down and letting out a small swear word. He shook his head as he turned the engine on, flipping off Castiel's teasing lips in his head as he drove off and back to his apartment to grab his work overalls, and hopefully deal with his situation.

The rest of the week was spent with Dean trying to get some work done while Castiel's face and his lips overtook every thought that crossed his mind. Not even in his classes when he especially had to focus could he stop thinking about him. Charlie had noticed that Dean's head was always elsewhere but he didn't seem bothered. It was quite the opposite, actually. He seemed happier than he had ever been since she had met him last month, at the beginning of the fall semester. When she asked him about it, he brushed it off as nothing, but Charlie knew better when he couldn't get that smile off his face. And of course, she prodded him on and on until Dean had gotten so annoyed that had almost yelled at her in the middle of class. He did restrain himself though, took a deep breath, and told her he would explain everything to her later on if she would just get off his back and leave him alone. Successful, Charlie had agreed. He tried to warn her not to be overly dramatic when they were walking back to the roadhouse after a long day of studying and she had finally convinced him to tell her everything. But of course, it was Charlie. So when he finally admitted to her that Castiel and him were a thing now, that they were trying out a relationship, she went crazy, squealing with excitement and attacking him with a tight hug. She told him how happy and proud she was of him, but Dean seemed more annoyed by her over excitement. But he couldn't help the small grin that crossed his face as he thought of his current situation. He was happy, and he was certainly excited. He was finally in a good place in his life and he really believed that this could work out for the better, in his favour. It didn't matter to him that Castiel was a little older than he was, and it really didn't matter to him that he was a professor at his university. He wasn't his student, so it wouldn't be much of a problem anyway. But they did have to keep it a secret for both their sakes. It wasn't safe for them, and Dean was fine with keeping it a quiet anyway. He wasn't one to stand on the rooftop of the tallest building and profess his deepest feelings for the whole world to hear, and he didn't think Castiel was either.

The first few days of the week, Dean and Castiel had a difficult time crossing paths around campus, both of them being incredibly busy with the first set of exams coming so soon. Dean had spent most of his time between the garage or crammed up in the library behind his books, trying to study as much as possible for his math quiz the coming Friday. Charlie tried to help him to the best of her abilities and some of the information did stick in Dean's brain, but it was hard for him to concentrate when his body was practically aching to be in Castiel's presence, and he absolutely he hated. No person had ever made him want them this bad. It was such a new feeling for Dean, he didn't like wanting someone so much. He was too proud to admit that he wasn't exactly all that independent and it hurt his ego, so he tried to forget about Castiel and focus on the equations on the paper in front of him, but it was already Thursday night and he had downed five cups of coffee and counting. He was buzzing, his leg jumping up and down, restless, and his pen tapping on the table repeatedly that the girl on the table opposite him had to shush him after glaring at him for so long, and Dean was sure that her glare could have killed him if looks could. He had already gone over the material and was trying to solve problems, but his brain had stopped functioning at this point. It was almost midnight and he knew that when the clock hit twelve, he would not be able to make sense of anymore of the calculus in front of him. He had had enough.

Dean closed his books and stuffed them in his backpack in a hurry. He shrugged on his black denim jacket and slung his backpack over his shoulder, and left the library as fast as his legs allowed him. On his way out, he passed by the arts building, noticing that a certain office on the second floor still had its lights on. After a quick thought, he turned right, entering the building and walking up the stairs two steps at a time and took large steps until he was standing in front of the large wooden door. He knocked lightly on the door, hoping that Castiel hadn't just forgotten the lights to his office on. He had barely seen him all week and standing right there in his office made him want to see him more than any other time. He finally heard the gentle and confused "come in," coming from the other side and smiled to himself as he wrapped his fingers around the doorknob and twisted it to open the door. His eyes landed on a disheveled head of hair from behind the desk, the man's nose stuffed in a large stack of papers. Dean grinned as his eyes finally landed on Castiel and closed the door behind him as he walked further into the room. Castiel finally lifted his head up, averting his concentration from the paper he was reading to the man who had just entered the room. He seemed surprised to see that it was Dean but his eyes soon softened with relief and his shock was replaced with a tired smile.

"Hey," Dean spoke quietly, walking closer to the desk until he was standing right in front of it.

"Hi," Castiel breathed out in response. "What are you doing here?" he asked him, "Not that you shouldn't have come, I'm so glad you did, it's just really late," Castiel added, feeling as though his question might have made Dean feel unwanted at this hour.

"I saw the light in your office was still on so I was hoping that you were still around," Dean explained, letting his backpack fall to the ground beside his feet. "And, well, I miss you," he admitted with a shy smile. Castiel's lips curled up in a grin at Dean's words, pushing the papers away seeing as he was definitely done working on them for the day.

"I miss you, too," the blue-eyed man replied, pushing his swivel chair back, and turning to face Dean who was now standing beside him. He looked up at him from his seat and grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together.

"You seem to be really busy with grading, I don't want to bother you," Dean said as he eyed the papers that were now left discarded on Castiel's desk, but the older man simply shook his head.

"You're no bother at all Dean, you're kind of saving me from them. If I have to read the word 'church' or 'Jesus' one more time, I will need Jesus himself!" Castiel exclaimed in exasperation, letting out a tired sigh and making Dean chuckle.

"Well, you have me instead. I can't exactly turn water into wine but," Dean started and Castiel let out a laugh, grabbing Dean's waist and pulling him onto his lap in one swift move. Dean was taken by surprise as he found himself straddling Castiel's lap, his faces only mere inches away from the professor. "Jesus," Dean breathed out unintentionally, making Castiel laugh even more. At that, Dean found himself laughing along, his hands falling onto Castiel's shoulder to hold himself steady as the other man nuzzled his face into his neck, his arms wrapping around his waist, holding him tightly. Their laughs died down slowly soon enough, and they sat there quietly in each other's embrace.

"Thank you, Dean, I really needed that right now," Castiel chuckled, gently rubbing Dean's back under his jacket.

"Me too. That's why I came," Dean replied with a smile etched on his face. He could feel Castiel lips turn in a smile against the skin of his neck. He placed a gentle kiss at the nape of his neck, his lips travelling ever so lightly up and leaving feathery kisses along the way until they had reached the spot right under his ear. Dean bit down on his lower lip as his eyelids fluttered closed, while Castiel started using his teeth to nip gently on his earlobe. He left a warm, open mouthed kiss right beneath his ear, smirking as Dean squirmed on top of him. Castiel's palms rested on Dean's denim-clad thighs, his lips sucking at the exact spot and his tongue lapping over it to soothe the skin. He grazed his teeth over the sensitive spot ever so lightly, the smallest of whimpers leaving Dean's throat. The younger boy felt his skin heat up at the sound that escaped his body, but Castiel seemed to have loved it because he pressed another kiss on the same spot, sucking the skin in between his lips, Dean letting another gentle moan. Castiel finally pressed a gentle kiss on it, pulling back just the slightest to see the skin that had turned a deep shade of red. He smirked to himself as he leaned forward again, his lips trailing up Dean's neck and peppering kisses all over his jaw until they finally reached the corner of his mouth. Dean tried to turn his head to catch his lips in a kiss, but Castiel pulled away just a little bit in a teasing manner. Dean's lips unconsciously twisted into a small pout and Castiel smiled softly as he leaned back in to catch them in an open kiss. Dean's lips had relaxed and went to work, kissing him back gently, placing his palm on Castiel's cheek, gently caressing it with his thumb. The older boy seemed to like the gesture, humming quietly into the kiss as Dean's other hand travelled up Castiel's side and entwining with his hair.

"This is nice," Castiel whispered into the kiss and Dean hummed questioningly in response, too focused on the other man's lips. "Kissing you. You're nice too, I guess," Castiel teased and it was then that Dean pulled away, pouting again. Castiel laughed pecking his lips gently. He pulled away, leaning back in his seat and holding Dean in place by his waist. "You're a great man, Dean," he told him with a wide smile on his face. His chest was heaving up and down from their kissing, and in that moment, staring down at him as he did, Dean knew that he would want to spend the rest of his life with this man. He hadn't known him for long but he didn't have to. He knew that he would do the impossible to keep him in his life. He ran the back of his hand on Castiel's cheek and smiled at him contently.

"You're not so bad, yourself, Cas," he replied quietly and Castiel grinned lazily up at him, placing his hand on top of his and holding it gently.

"I want to take you out," Castiel spoke up, after a moment of quiet admiration, staring up at the boy in his lap.

"Like, out of this office?" Dean asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"No, you idiot, like on a date 'out'. How much coffee did you have? It fried your head."

"Wow, okay smart-mouth," Dean spoke back, letting a small laugh. "and like, ten cups since waking up," he added with a little shrug.

"Yeah, I could taste all that coffee," Castiel laughed, with a small shake of his head. "So, what do you say?"

"Of course. Where are we going?" Dean asked with a smile but Castiel only smirked teasingly in response.

"It's a surprise. Just be ready tomorrow night," he told him with a wiggle of his eyebrows making Dean laugh.

"One, I hate surprises."

"That's good to know," Castiel replied with a look that told Dean that he was totally going to use that against him.

"Two, thank you, I'm really gonna need it after my first calculus quiz," Dean let out a tired sigh, dreading the math period he had early tomorrow morning. Castiel sent him a soft smile, his fingers gently pushing his hair out of his face and resting his palm on Dean's cheek afterward.

"You got this," he told him, leaning in to give him a quick kiss. "And that's one for good luck."

Dean smirked, scrunching his nose in playful disappointment. "Hmm. I don't think it worked, honestly."

"Really? Well, how about now?" Castiel grinned as he leaned in again, and gave Dean another quick kiss.

"Try again, maybe?" Dean replied and Castiel pecked his lips again, mumbling "cheeky bastard", as he pecked his lips repeatedly.

"Yup, okay, I think I'm all set now," Dean finally said between laughs and kisses offered by Castiel. "And maybe one more for the road?" he added before leaning in and pressing his lips against Castiel's in a long kiss before finally pulling away and climbing off his lap. Castiel stayed back in his chair, staring at the boy with joyous eyes as he grabbed his backpack from the floor and slung it across his shoulder.

"I should probably get going and get some rest if I want to have a clear head in the morning," Dean announced and Castiel nodded, getting up and walking toward him.

"Do you want me to find you in the morning? Last minute pep talk or another good luck kiss?" Castiel asked him with a small smile which Dean returned but he only shook his head in response.

"No, it's okay. I don't want to bother you. You just come find me at my place tomorrow evening," Dean told him with a smile. He picked up the notepad and a pen on the desk and wrote down his street and building, giving it back to Castiel. "My address," he told him. He gave it a once over before placing in the pocket of his trousers.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then, Dean," Castiel said and Dean nodded before turning around and leaving the office with the widest possible smile on his face. He wasn't fond of surprises, but somehow he knew that Castiel would not disappoint.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Dean walked into class the next morning confidently, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket and his head held high. He practically skipped to his seat in the very back beside Charlie who was tapping her fingers nervously against the table.

"Morning, kiddo," he greeted her with a grin, throwing his backpack behind the chair and sitting down at his desk.

"How are you in such a good mood? How are you not nervous about our first quiz? You're literally horrible in calculus. I'm sorry that was mean. What is wrong with you? How can you be so cheerful? God, okay, breathe Charlie. Breathe," the red head rambled on as Dean settled down beside her, turning around to face him. Dean snickered as he gave her a concerned look.

"Did you add extra sugar to your cereal this morning?" He asked jokingly, grabbing his pencil for his backpack and setting himself up for the quiz he was about to take.

"No, just downed two large cups of coffee. Didn't sleep last night, even though I know the material and I solved every problem ten times already, I solved them again just to be sure and next thing I knew it was already four in the morning and I had to get at least two hours of sleep but I woke up really tired so I had to get double my daily morning dose of caffein and it's kicking in just now and wow, I am extremely energised, right now! I feel great! My heart is beating at a million miles an hour, but I'm doing aces!"

Dean laughed some more as Charlie rambled some more, shaking his head at her. "Do us both a favour and get some sleep once we're done with this quiz, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah, nor argument there. I'm skipping my classes for the rest of the day. Nothing is as important as sleep, you know. Well, passing this test with an A+, but I don't have to worry about that! Anyway, yeah, I'm definitely going to get some sleep, and you're going to tell me all about why you're in such a good mood this morning when every other morning you're the grumpiest man I know, it's impossible-,"

"Good morning class. I don't wanna see anything in front of you but your pencils and a scratch paper. You've got an hour to complete this exam," the professor walked in, interrupting Charlie mid rant and forcing her to stop talking and turn her attention to him. Dean laughed quietly as the professor handed out the test papers to the first row of students and they passed them down until he had question sheet in hand. "Alright, you may begin."

Dean turned his paper around and started working quietly, his free hand tapping absentmindedly against his knee. Charlie's leg was bouncing uncontrollably and it was almost too distracting to him. He sent her daggers, which she had felt because she sent him a sheepish grin, and her leg came to a halt. Dean worked without any much trouble for the next half an hour. But when he had finally reached the final problem, he hit an obstacle and couldn't find the solution to the equation. He sat quietly, staring at the numbers and symbols on his paper, scratching his brain for an answer, but nothing came. His thoughts started jumping from subject to subject, and to no surprise, settled on the thought of a certain blue-eyed professor and the surprise he had planned for them tonight. Dean smiled to himself as he chewed on the piece of erased on the tip of his pencil. He thought back to their make out session the previous night, his fingers tracing ever so lightly the purple bruise right under his ear. He managed to hide it by popping the collar of his jacket up but he almost didn't want to. It excited him, made him look forward to more intimate moments between the two of them. He couldn't stop thinking about how much he wanted to feel the softness of Castiel's rosey lips, to feel his light stubble graze his skin ever so slightly, making him itchy and surprisingly aroused. He traced his tongue over his bottom lip unconsciously, when the professor's voice boomed through the lecture hall, announcing that they only had ten minutes left to wrap up their exam. Dean straightened up in his seat and tried his best to turn his focus on the problem before him. He managed to work on it until the professor had yelled "Pen's down" and he was forced to stop with an idea of what the answer should be. He quickly circled his lucky multiple choice letter (C) without bothering to write down the explanation beside it and put his pencil down, just as the professor passed by his desk and grabbed the exam sheet from his desk.

Dean stood up, stretching his limbs and smiling to himself. He probably didn't get all the answers correct, but he knew that he had done well. All the studying and the early sleep he had gotten the previous night had really paid off. He grabbed his backpack and waited for Charlie to join him at the door. They walked beside each other down the hall and outside the building. Charlie leaned her head against his shoulder, letting out a loud groan.

"How did you do?" Dean asked her and she only shrugged her shoulder, as she kept her head leaning against his shoulder, her eyes closed and relying on him to lead the way.

"Aced it. Now I just need to get my beauty sleep." She responded, finally pulling away, a yawn escaping her mouth. "Cool love bite, by the way," she pointed out causing Dean's cheeks to turn a bright shade of red.

"Shut up," he muttered, staring ahead as they walked side by side.

"Is that why you're in such a good mood today?" Charlie asked with a wide grin and Dean only smiled in response. "Oh, there's  
more! Tell me more, please!"

"He's taking me on a surprise date tonight," Dean admitted and Charlie squealed right in his ear. "Oh my gosh, keep it down! Jesus!" Dean complained, sticking his finger in his ear to relieve himself from the pain that Charlie's voice had caused.

"Sorry," she laughed unapologetically, wrapping her arms around his elbow. "This is great! You're going to tell me all about it tomorrow, then."

"Sure, whatever," Dean laughed with a small sigh.

"Speaking of Professor Charming," Charlie smirked, pointing her head in the direction of the arts building that they were just walking by, Dean's eyes landing on a man clad in a beige trench coat, leaving the building. He instinctively smiled, his eyes meeting Castiel's across the Campus. The older man winked at him, making Dean avert his gaze to avoid any unwanted suspicious eyes. The two walked at a slower pace as they were finally walking right in front of the building, Castiel walking right besides them now.

"Miss Bradbury. Mr. Winchester," he greeted them as a pair of students passed by them.

"Professor Novak," Charlie grinned, greeting him back in the same manner.

Castiel's eyes landed on Dean's neck that was now uncovered as his collar had fallen back down, a small smirk making its way onto his face as he admired his artwork from the previous night. "How was your exam?" He asked, keeping a casual discussion going on as they walked in the same direction.

"It went pretty well, actually," Dean replied with a happy smile as he was proud of himself for doing so well.

"I'm glad," Castiel responded with a glint of pride in his eyes as they met Dean's.

"Not to be a third wheel here, but I'm heading back to my place to catch some Z's so goodbye, lovers," Charlie announced, giving them two thumbs up before walking away from them in the direction of the girl dormitories.

"Wait- you told her?" Castiel asked in a hushed voice, his eyebrows furrowing as he stopped walking to look at Dean.

"Uh, yeah, Charlie's alright, she won't say anything. I trust her," Dean told him but Castiel still didn't seem at ease. "I- I hope that's alright," he told him, a little bit of worry that he had done something wrong laced in his voice. Castiel's gaze softened and he started walking again.

"Of course, it is. I trust you, Dean. We just have to be more careful than anyone else, you know," Castiel spoke quietly, stopping again once he was in front of the Cafeteria.

"I know," he nodded, looking down at his shoes.

"I'm going to grab myself a coffee, then, would you like anything?" Castiel offered, stepping on the stairs in front of the building. Dean simply shook his head, no.

"I'm okay, thanks," he said as he looked up at the man before him. "What time will you uh," he looked around making sure there weren't any unwanted ears listening in. "What time will you pass by?" He asked him in a hush voice and Castiel smiled as he remembered the surprise he had planned for them.

"Seven works for you?" He suggested and Dean nodded, a grin on his face.

"Awesome. Seven o'clock, then," he smiled, biting on his lower lip before he turned around and walked the other way. He wanted to get as much work as possible before going back home to get himself ready for his date. Castiel had  told him absolutely nothing about where he would be taking him so he made sure to leave the garage at six to get back to his apartment and have time to shower, get dressed appropriately for any possible place, and of course, comb his hair properly. It took him the longest to get his hair to look exactly as he wanted it to. Dressed in a plain black button up with a pair of light blue denim jeans, he slipped into his black denim jacket and put on his boots just as there was a knock on his door. He cleared his throat, yelling out "just a second," as he ran to the mirror, his heart rate accelerating. He nervously ran his fingers through his hair and fixed his shirt before jogging to the door and opening it to reveal Charlie instead of Castiel. Dean groaned, sending her a glare.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her as she walked right past him and into his small apartment.

"Well, hello to you too, gorgeous," she greeted him back, making her way toward his stash of records on the wall. "Do you have Abbey Road?" She asked him as she flipped through the small collection of vinyl records. "I need to borrow it for the night... Aha!" She yelled out in triumph as she held out the Beatles album, a huge grin on her face.

"Alright, now get out of here. And I want it back in one piece, please!" Dean called out after her as he tried to shoo her out of his apartment.

"Alright, jeez, I'm going. I'm going," she sighed as she stood in the doorway. "Sex to the song Something is really something, you know. Thanks, bye!" She wiggled her eyebrows at him, sending him a quick smirk before turning around to leave, when she came face to face with non other than her university professor, Dr. Novak.

"Oh, heavens, I did not need to hear that," he said, uncomfortably fixing his tie.

"Yeah, bye Charlie," Dean groaned, closing his eyes and rubbing his temple. Charlie laughed as she yelled out a goodbye before running down the stairs of the building.

Castiel let out a chuckle, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe. "It's a nice apartment you have here," he complimented but Dean only gave him a weird look, one that screamed "cut the bullshit" really loudly.

"No, it sucks, it barely fits me and it oddly smells like cabbage sometimes, but it'll do for now," he retaliated with a small snort.

"Hey at least you don't have to get out of bed to make it to the kitchen," Castiel pointed out with a little teasing grin on his face. Dean's eyes widened and his mouth was left hanging open in surprise at the man who had tried to make a joke.

"Oh, so we're being funny now, making fun of me?" He shoved him out of the way playfully and kept walking down the stairs as Castiel laughed behind him. "Close the door, would you?" Castiel did as he was asked and followed Dean outside while still chuckling to himself. They got into Castiel's car that was parked right outside in the driveway. Castiel turned the radio on as he pulled out of his parking spot and drove down the road, pulling up on the highway. It was quiet for the first few minutes save for the soft hum of the engine and the low rock and roll tune coming from the radio. Dean wasn't exactly sure where they were headed. They were leaving town with only the large forrest to their right. When Dean found himself really lost about ten minutes into their small road trip, he finally got the courage to ask Castiel. "Hey, so, where are we going, Cas?" He asked him, turning to his left to glance at the man driving the car.

"It's a surprise, I told you. It's just ten minutes straight ahead. Just enjoy the ride, Dean," he replied, sending him a small smile and a squeezing his knee reassuringly before returning his right hand to the gear stick.

"You better not be kidnapping me and planning my murder. My dad will not pay the ransom!" Dean joked, staring out into the dark forest.

"Well, then, I guess I won't put a large amount on your head," Castiel played along with the joke when he turned right, driving down the trail between the trees.

"Wow, now I really think you're going to kill me," Dean said and Castiel chuckled giving a playful warning look.

"Better not cross me then!" He laughed, having a hard time keeping the smile off his face as he glanced at the boy sitting beside him. Castiel finally stepped on the breaks, slowly bringing the car to a stop and parking it once they had reached the cliff edge, keeping a safe distance between them and the endless plummet to their inevitable death.

"You gonna throw me into the water down there?" Dean chuckled as he got out the car and stared down at the waves crashing against the rocks below them. Castiel laughed as he exited the car and made his to the trunk, opening it up. "So, what are we doing here?" Dean asked as he joined Castiel, spotting a paper bag and a few blankets in the trunk which Castiel eventually pulled out and used his elbow to shut the trunk door.

"We are on a date," he replied simply, walking to the front of the car and placing the large bag down. He laid the blankets loosely over the hood of the car and jumped up, sitting with his legs dangling in the air. He patted the spot next to him with his hand, inviting Dean to join him on the hood of the car. "Come on," he spoke softly. "Oh, and hand me that bag, please," he added, pointing at the paper bag left on the ground. Dean grabbed it and glanced inside, finding a few containers with food and a case of beer bottles. He handed Castiel the bag and sat down beside him on the blanket, making himself comfortable. "I wasn't sure what you liked to eat so I got us a bunch of sandwiches. There's ham, turkey, tuna, cheese, there's everything, basically," he chuckled, pulling the food out of the bag along with the drinks and setting them between them.

"Oh, awesome! I'm starving," Dean announced with a huge grin on his face as he grabbed a random sandwich and pulled back the wrapper, taking a large bite. "Thank you," he said mid-chewing, making Castiel laugh and nodding his head in acknowledgment.

"You're welcome," he responded, grabbing a sandwich for himself and taking a bite. They sat and ate keeping a casual conversation going, talking about how their day went, but it was really mostly Castiel complaining about his annoying students and Dean laughing, hoping that teachers didn't talk like that about him to other people. They had scarfed down their food and drink fast, starting with the dessert that Castiel had brought as well. It was a supermarket cherry pie, but it made no difference to Dean. Pie was pie, and it was certainly his favourite food in the world. He made sure that Castiel knew that for a fact, and Castiel happily made a mental note of it.

The music was still playing softly in the car and Dean's ears perked when the riff he knew all too well began. "Oh, I love this song!" He mentioned excitedly, jumping down and leaning through the open car window to raise the volume. He clapped his hands enthusiastically as he made his way back to the front of the car, the first verse to the Steppenwolf song, Born To Be Wild playing louder. He knew the words by heart so he started singing them quietly to himself at first, but right before he reached the chorus, he stopped, turned to look at Castiel and sang as loud as he could the lyrics " _born to be wild_ ". He then proceeded to pretend to play a hybrid between the air guitar and the drums before he started singing along again. Castiel watched him the whole time, leaning back against the hood of the car, grinning widely at him and letting out a laugh here and there whenever he acted out the lyrics he was singing.

Dean fell back laughing when the second chorus started as Castiel was clutching his side in laughter. He leaned back to join Cas, when the older boy sat on his side, propping his head up on his elbow to look down at the glinting green eyes, staring back up at him with nothing but joy. Their laughter had quieted down and Castiel seized the moment, leaning his face forward and pressing his lips ever so softly against Dean's, the smell of his aftershave wafting through his nose. "You smell nice," he whispered against his lips, pecking them gently once again. Dean smile mumbling a soft "thank you," and placing his hands around Castiel's neck, locking his fingers together. He pulled him down and met his lips in a deeper kiss, Castiel's tongue lapping over his and massaging it softly. He pulled himself on top of Dean's figure, hovering over him without breaking their kiss and let his hands run over the younger boy's sides, settling down at his waist. Their bodies were pressed against each other as they shared a passionate kiss together. "Cas," Dean moaned against his lips, making the other man smirk and pull away just a little to catch his breath. He reattached his lips to the boy's strong jawline, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses along his defined jawline. Dean's fingers reached for Castiel's hair, pulling it back as his eyes shut when his lips reached his neck. His fingers trailed beneath his shirt, resting on Dean's bare skin at his waist and drawing small circles with his thumbs as his lips remained attached to the skin of his neck. He reached his Adam's apple, feeling it vibrate against his tongue as Dean let out a soft groan of pleasure. Castiel's fingers ran gently up and down Dean's sides.

The younger boy felt as though his skin was burning wherever his hands came into contact. He had goosebumps travelling up his arms, and he had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from any vocal embarrassments. Every atom in Dean's body was on high alert, feeling every single move in Castiel's body pushed firmly against his, their chests heaving with every heavy breath they took. Castiel's hands were travelling even further down until they were holding Dean's body at the hem of his jeans. Suddenly more alert, Dean took both Castiel's hands in his and laced their fingers together tightly. Castiel pulled back only slightly, noticing Dean's sudden hesitancy. He looked down at him with a little bit of concern, releasing one of his hands to caress his cheek gently.

"Are you alright?" He whispered to him, pushing his hair out of his face. Dean nodded, smiling appreciatively at him for his concern. He leaned up instead to catch his lips in a soft and quick kiss. He then leaned back with his head against the windshield of the car. He looked up, meeting Castiel's blue eyes illuminated by the bright moonlight. He truly looked gorgeous right in that moment, so he pulled him back down for another slow and gentle kiss, with just their lips touching ever so lightly, but the raw emotion they had both shared for one another in that moment was there. They could both hear their heavy breathing hitch and their hearts beating loudly, being in each other's arms. When Dean pulled away, he licked his lips, glancing away hesitantly as he opened his mouth to speak, but he stopped himself to think of his words carefully.

"Cas," he started, speaking the man's nickname softly, but it had come out more as a question rather than a statement. "Can we take things slow?" he asked him so quietly that Castiel would have missed it if he hadn't been sitting so close to him.

This was Dean's first time in such a serious relationship, and his first time in a relationship with a man at that. He didn't know what to expect from this. He didn't know how to act as a boyfriend with his _boyfriend_. It was all incredibly new to him and he didn't want things to go by so fast and that he wouldn't have time to catch up and enjoy the smallest things. He didn't want to do anything he would regret. Of course, he knew that he wouldn't regret anything when it came to Castiel. He knew that if it came down to it, he would give that man his heart, even if he had only known him for a mere month or so. But he was definitely afraid of what was ahead. He didn't know what these relationships were like or what he was in for. He just wasn't ready to be this _intimate_ with anyone yet. He wasn't sure how Castiel would take it, and he was afraid he would decide to leave him for that so he didn't exactly want to tell him how it was. Castiel was all to understanding though. He knew that this was Dean's first time in a serious relationship with a man, and he understood how hard it must be for him trying to figure out his feelings and his true identity. He had gone through it all at his age. He understood where Dean was coming from and he didn't want to cross any lines with him. He wanted to be there for him, to support him, and help him come into terms with everything going on with him. He wanted to help him like no one did when Castiel was going through this phase of his life. He knew from personal experience just how emotionally hard it was on a person. He was there to support him. He wasn't in a rush for anything. He knew that he would do anything for that boy to be happy, and he knew certainly that he would keep him in his life. So if he wanted to take things slow, he would slow down as much as he wanted him to without a doubt.

"We're in no rush," Castiel responded to Dean's request, kissing his cheek gently before lying down beside him with his arms wrapped around the boys frame, keeping him close. Dean leaned into his body, laying his head on his chest and wrapping his own arms around his torso. He could hear Castiel's steady heartbeat through his shirt, bringing a small smile to his face. He didn't know how he had gotten lucky enough to meet such a supportive man in his life, but he was thankful beyond words.

The night air had soon become too cold and Castiel had noticed the boy in his arms shiver as a cool breeze brushed past them. So they moved to the inside of the car, with Castiel right behind the wheel and his arms around Dean's waist, the latter having his his side pressed against his partner's and his head leaning against his shoulder as he propped his legs up on the bench with his feet against the passenger door. They sat quietly with the soft music playing through the car stereo. The station had switched the songs to much slower classic rock records, the Elvis Presley song Love Me Tender starting. Castiel was a huge Elvis fan, so he started humming along softly, occasionally singing a lyric here and there.

"My mom used to love this song," Dean spoke up quietly, a smile appearing on his face.

"Yeah?" Castiel whispered in response, looking down at the boy in his arms. Dean nodded, his eyes locking on the view in front of them as he remembered the many nights his mother spent singing the song to him and his baby brother.

"She always used to sing it to me and Sam whenever we couldn't sleep. She'd also be listening to it almost every single day, while cooking, cleaning, doing anything basically," Dean explained, taking Castiel's hand in his and fumbling with his fingers as he looked down at them. "It used to drive dad crazy, until she started singing it to him and then he couldn't help dancing with her. They used to do that a lot around the house."

Castiel smiled as Dean recalled his childhood, running his fingers gently through his hair, playing with his soft locks and brushing them back. "That's pretty sweet," he replied, pulling Dean's back against his chest and leaning his chin over his the top of his head.

"Yeah, they were. You know, dad wasn't always that bad. He was an amazing father. He was absolutely in love with mom, and with his kids. I mean, who wouldn't be in love with Mary, she was so beautiful. But after she uh, passed away, I guess he only found comfort in whiskey and beer. I don't blame him you know. If I were this in love with someone and I'd lost them, I think I'd be a mess too. It hurts though. He didn't even try to be there for Sammy. As soon as he could walk, he was my responsibility. He was never really a father to Sammy, he doesn't know him at his greatest, and it hurts me more than it hurts either one of them. I love the old man, I can't help it. But he could've at least tried to be there for us."

Castiel remained quiet as he listened carefully to Dean's quiet rant, letting him speak and get it all out of his chest. He suspected that those were words Dean had never spoken aloud to anyone before and he was glad that he could trust him with them. He pressed a soft kiss on top of Dean's head, hugging him tight from behind.

"I'm here for you now, Dean," Castiel whispered in his ear sincerely. "I promise, whatever you need. I'm here."

Dean turned around in his arms, his heartbeat skipping. He grabbed Castiel's chin and pulled him in for a long, and gentle kiss. Castiel smiled against his lips, running his thumb over the younger boy's cheek lightly. When they had pulled away, Dean remained close to Cas on the front bench, leaning his head against his shoulder as he turned on the engine and drove them back into the city. They drove quietly with Dean falling asleep as soon as they had reached the highway. When Castiel pulled over in Dean's driveway, the sleeping boy woke up at the sudden halt. Castiel held his hand, helping him out of the car and leading him up the stairs to his apartment to make sure he got in safely in his dazed state. Dean grabbed his keys and opened his door, kicking off his shoes as soon as he was inside. Castiel chuckled at his action as he leaned against the wall.

"Goodnight, Dean," he told him as he turned around to walk away, but he stopped him as he was shrugging off his jacket. He slung it on the back of the couch and stood in front of Castiel hesitantly.

"Do you wanna, maybe stay?" He asked him rather shyly and Castiel furrowed his eyebrows in surprise and confusion.

"I thought we were taking things slow."

"We are. We'll just sleep. In the same bed..." Dean explained, his voice trailing off, fearing Castiel's rejection to his offer.

"Well, I am too tired to drive all the way back home."

"It's less than a ten minute drive," Dean pointed out with a small grin as he started unbuttoning his shirt.

"I'm too tired, Dean," Castiel shot back with a playful glare, closing the front door and removing his own shoes and jacket.

Dean remained in a simple white t-shirt and his shorts, jumping under his cool bedsheets. He moaned in satisfaction, his eyes closing as soon as his head hit the pillow. "Could you turn off the lights, please?" He asked Castiel in the middle of a yawn and the other man nodded, even though Dean couldn't see him with his closed eyes. Castiel slung his clothes on the back of the couch, making his way in just his shorts to the bed after having turned off the lights with only the moonlight illuminating the small room. As soon as he was under the blankets, Dean turned around, moving in closer until he was right beside Cas, slinging his arm lazily over his stomach and wrapping his leg over Castiel's. The other man could only smile, kissing his forehead and closing his own eyes, getting comfortable in bed. And he was very comfortable until he had realised what effect their lack of clothes and close proximity had on him. He cursed under his breath as he shifted uncomfortably beneath Dean, feeling his boxers slowly tighten. This was going to be an interesting night, he thought to himself rather sarcastically. He could only hope to fall asleep soon.

 


	6. Chapter 6

_October, 1971_

Dean didn't need much time to realise that Castiel had managed to have him wrapped around his fingers, practically infatuated with the man. Dean had found himself absolute in love with Castiel, although falling for him had not really been a difficult task. Castiel had made it fairly easy for Dean to love him, from the soft smell of wood of the cologne he used, to his angelic blue eyes, and the way his lips moved along with his words, and his voice wavered as he spoke endlessly to Dean about different everything and anything. They spoke of the world and their past and their plans for the future, and their future together.

It was a cold evening and Dean had just gotten back to Castiel's house after a long day of studying at the library. Castiel had still been at the university, working with some of his students on their end of term papers. He had told Dean earlier to meet him at his house and had given him the spare keys. Dean had made himself quite comfortable at Castiel's place, feeling more at home than at the closet he called home. He spent more of his time at Castiel's rather than over at his own place, anyway. He was laying down on the couch with his feet hanging in the air from the arm, a book laying long forgotten on his chest as he fought the urge to sleep, the soft hum of Paul McCartney's voice playing somewhere in the back. The sound of the front door opening and closing quickly jolted him awake, announcing Castiel's arrival. Dean found his lips instantly tugging against his cheeks in a smile as the scent of wood and rain followed a wet Castiel into the living room, his footsteps tired and heavy. He kicked off his boots, walking over to Dean and pecking his lips softly before pulling his legs up and sitting down on the couch in their place. He placed Dean's legs back over his thighs and leaned his head back with his eyes closed.

It was in that moment, as the former Beatle sang softly the words to the song Maybe I'm Amazed, singing " _Baby, I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time, and maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you,"_ that Dean had noticed how in love with the man beside him he really was. As he took in just how domestic they were being together, how normal it felt to sit there waiting for Castiel to come home, he realised that this was the man he wanted to spend every day like this with.

Castiel had started singing along softly, staring down at Dean, who was simply looking up at him with a serious face, his green eyes wide as they looked at the beautiful man in front of him, his nimble fingers brushing back his wet hair from the rain. He sat up straight, his face only mere inches away from Castiel's, the older man leaning in until their lips were barely brushing, still singing along to the song. And it was then that Dean had surprised the two of them by interrupting his singing with his words.

"I love you," he breathed out, his eyes searching Castiel's which had widened in response to the size of oranges. They were both frozen in their seats at Dean's revelation, unable to move as what had just happened was being processed by both parties. Dean's mind was on high-alert. How could he have blurted such a thing without thinking about it first? He was such an idiot, he thought! What if Castiel wasn't ready yet? What if he had just ruined everything by thinking this was more than it was and ruining it with his feelings? He was overthinking the situation, Castiel's silent staring not helping put his mind at ease at all. Dean's heart was beating right out of his chest and his mind was racing, imagining every different thing he could do or say to make this better. But he found that he didn't want to. He _loved_ Cas, and he wanted him to know. He wouldn't hide his true feelings. He wanted to be honest, and he was, even if he hadn't done so intentionally. But he found that he didn't really regret it because it wad the truth. He loved Castiel with everything in him and the other boy deserved to know.

"Cas...?" He spoke quietly, bringing Castiel back to the real world, seeing as he seemed to lost in his own thoughts. Suddenly, his face broke into a smile and he took Dean by surprise as he pulled him in, their lips crashing in hard kiss. Dean was too confused by his reaction though, his lips remaining still. Castiel chuckled at his reaction, holding Dean's face in his hands gently. "Cas, did you hear what I said?" Dean asked him, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I did," Castiel chuckled, his thumb tracing over the line of his cheekbone. "And you just ruined everything!" He exclaimed, but he didn't seem upset, nor hurt, which confused Dean even more.

Dean suddenly felt panicky, pulling away from Castiel as his face fell. "I- I'm sorry, oh God, I fucked this up, didn't I? Shit," Dean stood up, pushing his face into his hands as he started pacing around the room. Castiel remained calm though, sitting up straight on the couch as he watched Dean shift around the room.

"Dean," he tried to call him, trying to calm him down, but Dean wouldn't listen.

"Great job Dean, you just had to fuck up the one good thing in your life. You had to fucking blurt out your feelings at the wrong time and now you're gonna lose the love of your life, you goddamn selfish fuck-up," Dean ranted, speaking to himself, pacing furiously around the room, his fingers pulling his hair hard.

"Dean!" Castiel called out loudly, laughing as he did so. "You're not losing me," he told him and Dean stopped in his tracks, turning to look at Cas with his eyebrows furrowed and a small frown on his lips.

"What?"

"You're not gonna lose me. And you're neither selfish nor a fuck-up. Well- a little selfish but..." Castiel trailed off as he laughed some more. He got up, walked over to Dean and placed his hands on his waist to pull him closer.

"But- but you said I ruined this... I ruined us..." Dean whispered and Castiel shook his head. This time, he was the one frowning.

"I didn't mean us, you ass. How could you think that?" He asked him, his eyes softening once he saw the upset look on the boy's face. He shrugged his shoulders, mumbling a soft "I don't know".

"Dean," Castiel sighed. "Did you not wonder why I told specifically not to make _any_ plans this Friday because I had something _special_ planned for us?" Castiel asked him softly, his index and thumb catching Dean's chin to meet his gaze.

"No, I thought you were just gonna make us dinner," Dean admitted and Castiel chuckled, shaking his head unbelievably.

"You're so- gosh!" He laughed, bring Dean's face closer to his. "It's because I love you, Dean Winchester. I was planning on telling you over dinner, and you just had to ruin my romantic plan!"

Dean pulled back, staring at Castiel in surprise. "You- wait, you _love_ me?"

"Of course, I do, Dean," Castiel responded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He pulled Dean's face to his, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss, but Dean was still frozen in place.

"But, I'm just a fucked-up kid. How-,"

"Will you shut up and let me kiss you, please? It's been a long day," Castiel interrupted him and Dean let out a sigh, giving up on trying to understand why Castiel loved him back, and gave in to his touch and his lips. He kissed him back deep and hard, Castiel licking his way past his cherry lips, letting their tongues meet and battle for dominance, but Dean eventually let Castiel explore his mouth and lap his tongue over his in a heated kiss. Castiel walked backward without breaking their mouths apart, falling onto the couch and bringing down on top of him. Dean pulled away for a moment to catch his breath before reattaching his lips to Castiel's neck. He kissed the spot where his jaw and neck connected, letting his tongue run down to the spot right under his ear, tasting the rain mixed with the taste that he had grown accustomed to, mixed with _Castiel_. The man beneath him let out a rough sound from his throat, his eyes shut close as Dean pressed open-mouthed kisses along his neck. He held his face in his hands again, kissing him passionately until he had no breath left in him. He pulled away, leaning his forehead against Dean's with his eyes closed. They say there quietly, regaining their breaths with the dumbest smiles spread all over their faces.

"I wanna head up and take a quick shower," Castiel told him after a few moments and Dean nodded, slipping off him to let him off the couch. "I feel gross from all the rain and one of the longest days of my life!" Castiel complained as he stood up and stretched his body. He grabbed the hem of his blue sweater and pulled it over his head, remaining in his white button up shirt. He loosened his tie, making his way up the stairs and to his bedroom. "I won't be long," he told Dean but the boy didn't mind. They were used to waiting for each other as the other did the simplest of tasks such as getting dressed or using the bathroom.

Dean had been sitting in only his half sleeve undershirt, and Castiel's body pressed against his was enough to have him warm up, but now that he was gone, Dean found himself shivering  as the night fell and the temperature dropped. He made his way upstairs to Castiel's room, the sound of the water running becoming louder and tuning out the music coming from the record player downstairs. The door to the bedroom was left open and Dean made his way inside and to Castiel's closet. He knew that Cas wouldn't mind, as he had done this before and he knew his way around already. He opened the first closet and grabbed the first sweater that he had found which happened to be Castiel's old University sweater. It was old and worn out, and it smelled just like Castiel. It brought a smile to Dean's face as he pulled it over his head just as the water stopped running in the bathroom. Dean tuned around to leave just as Cas had opened the door and stepped out with only a towel wrapped his waist, water droplets dripping down his torso from his hair.

"Hey, you cold?" Cas asked as he noticed the younger boy was now in one of his sweaters. "I'll turn up the thermostat when I get dressed," he told him as he walked to his closet to grab himself some clothes, but Dean found himself frozen in place by the door, his eyed watching Castiel's every move, following the little drop of water trickling slowly down his back. "Why don't you get under the covers and we could cuddle. What do you say?" Castiel turned around with a smile on his face, holding a t-shirt in hand. He pulled it over his head, all the while, Dean's eyes stuck to his hipbones protruding through his skin. Dean suddenly had the urge to run his hands over Castiel's hips, to have them pressing flush against his, and it made a surge of heat run through his body. Suddenly, he wasn't feeling all that cold anymore.

Castiel had turned back around to grab himself a pair of underwear, but when he turned back around to go change in the bathroom, he noticed that Dean hadn't moved yet, and was still frozen in place staring at him with dark eyes, filled with want and need. "Are you okay?" He asked him quietly, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at Dean who was looking right back at him. Castiel had noticed Dean's uncomfortable bulge through his jeans, and his tongue ran over his lips, wetting them. Dean then nodded his head, seeming to have snapped back to reality and made his way to bed. Castiel watched him pull back the duvet and stepped to the bathroom to slip into his shorts. He walked back out, rubbing a towel over his hair to dry it out.

Dean was laying in bed, under the set of sheets, his jeans slung on the back of the armchair in the corner of the room. Castiel stood by the door to the bathroom, staring at Dean while chewing on the inside of his cheek. "Dean," he started quietly. The boy looked up at him with his eyes wide and still dark with his previous feelings, which he couldn't hide from Castiel. "I can help you," he told him, his voice just above a whisper. He stepped over to the bed, sitting next to Dean. He took Dean's hand in his, squeezing it in reassurance. "I can make you feel good, baby," he whispered to him and Dean's eyes darkened even more. Castiel could tell that he wasn't doing any better in the downstairs area. "It's okay, Dean. I know we said we'll take this slow. We'll go at your pace, baby-,"

"I want to," Dean breathed out, interrupting Castiel's reassuring words. "I want you to," he told him and Castiel was slightly taken aback by his response. He held Dean's face in his hand, caressing his cheek gently.

"Are you sure?" He asked him to make sure that this is what he wanted, that he was absolutely okay with it. In response, Dean held Castiel's face and pressed his lips against his in a deep kiss. He closed his eyes, leaning down against the comforter, his head dipping into the pillows as he pulled Castiel down with him. Castiel hovered over him over the covers, kissing him slow and passionately, as Dean let his fingers lock behind Cas's neck. Castiel's fingers gently traced over Dean's chest, pushing the duvet down to his waist between them, and let his hands roam over Dean's sides, massaging it up and coming back down to rest at his waist. Castiel trailed his lips down Dean's cheek and jaw, to his neck. The strong smell of his shampoo wafted through Dean's nose, making his heart flutter and his feelings jump all over the place. His sweet smell only made him go crazier, adding to the effect his lips had on him as they puckered and kissed his skin, hot and wet. Castiel's fingers rested on Dean's bare skin, right under the hem of his shirt, making every hair on Dean's body rise. He jolted at the electricity strike that ran through his spine as Castiel drew circles on his abdomen with his thumb ever so gently under his shirt, his lips remaining attached to his skin. Castiel knew exactly what he was doing to Dean, feeling him harden against his thigh resting between his open legs, and it only made him want to make him feel so good.

Castiel wrapped his fingers around the hem of Dean's shirt and pulled it up only slightly. When Dean made no move to stop him, he continued, holding it over his head and tossing it to the floor. He let his lips trail down his neck to his collar bone. Dean's breath hitched in his chest as Castiel nipped at the skin on his collar bone, pressing his tongue flat against the same spot to soothe it. He sucked at the skin, pulling it between his teeth, before kissing it ever so gently, bringing a shiver down Dean's spine. He thanked God that it was already winter, because covering up those marks was going to be a real bitch otherwise.

Castiel peppered Dean's chest with kisses and nibbles, leaving several love marks all over his skin; leaving Dean beneath him as a moaning mess. He travelled back to the corner of his mouth, teasing him for a moment with a small smirk before dipping in for another kiss. Their lips met with such heat and passion, throwing all their their emotions into the one kiss. Castiel's fingers ran down Dean's stomach and stopped at the hem of his boxer shorts. Dean didn't stop him as his fingers travelled lower, Castiel's palm pressing against his hard member through his shorts. Dean hissed at his touch, his back arching slightly off the bed. Castiel's palm gently rubbed Dean's cock through the cotton shorts, the younger boy letting out a string of curse words at his teasing, sinful touch. Cas's open hand moved up and rested open-palmed against his skin, right above Dean's pelvis. He pulled away a mere inches away, looking down at Dean, asking him for permission. But the boy was looking up at him with full confidence and so much lust in his eyes. Castiel let his hand roam beneath the hem of Dean's boxers, moving lower over his hardened cock. He wrapped his fingers gently around his length and gave it a few slow tugs. Dean shut his eyes at the sudden feeling in his lower abdomen, the butterflies in his stomach feeling like they were going to fly out of his mouth. He bit down on his lower lip hard as Castiel ran his hand over his length at an excruciatingly slow pace. He placed his lips back on the boys neck, travelling lower and down his chest and stomach, stopping right at his shorts. He pulled his hand out and grabbed their hem, pulling them all the way down. Cas sat up just a little, staring down at the boy laying naked in his bed, and he couldn't help the feeling of his heart leaping out of his chest as he looked down at Dean's gorgeous figure. He leaned back forward, his lips pressing s gentle kiss against Dean's thigh. He moved his lips inward, toward his inner thigh, his light stubble grazing against Dean's soft skin, feeling the younger boy shiver slightly as his sensitive skin was aroused. But even with his every shiver and goosebump, his skin felt hotter than a mid-July day. Castiel laid his hands flat against Dean's thighs, keeping them in place and separated as he finally leaned down and took the tip between his lips. Dean's let out a soft moan, his lips left open as his toes curled at the edge of the bed. As Castiel leaned forward, taking more of Dean between his parted lips, Dean's fingers ran through his dark locks, pulling at them hard as he whispered his name quietly, filled with pure ecstasy and pleasure. Cas took as much of Dean as his throat allowed him, wrapping him fingers around the rest as he bobbed his head around his length. He sucked in his cheeks, blowing his member. He pulled back upward, his tongue trailing up the side of his hard cock. He wrapped his lips around the tip of his shaft, sucking at it and twirling his tongue over the sensitive skin, leaving Dean a moaning, shaking mess beneath him.

"Fuck, Cas," Dean breathed out, his fists curling around the sheets tightly, as his back arched over the bed and he pushed his hips upward, fucking Castiel's mouth around his member. "I'm so close," he whispered, a deep and throaty groan escaping his lips.

Castiel pulled away, holding Dean's wet cock between his fingers and rubbing the dripping pre-come all over his length. "It's alright, baby. You can let go," Castiel whispered to him in a calm voice as he worked his hand around Dean's dick, massaging it up and down. "You can come, Dean," he told him encouragingly as Dean quivered and whimpered under him. He worked his hand faster, pumping him and tugging at his member harder. Dean finally let go, letting out a heavy moan as he released his load and came over his chest and Castiel's.

Castiel moved to lay down next to Dean, letting him catch his breath for a second. He leaned in after a moment, pressing lips softly against his moist forehead in a gentle kiss. Dean's eyes remained closed as his chest heaved with every heavy breath he took. Castiel grabbed his own stained shirt and removed it, using it to wipe Dean's stomach and chest. He threw the dirty shirt to the floor before leaning back in and kissing Dean's lips softly, the younger boy kissing him back instantly. He smiled into their kiss, pushing Dean's damp hair off his face.

"I love you," he whispered to him against his lips, pecking his cheek and proceeding to nuzzle it, with his arms wrapping around Dean's waist, pulling him against his chest. Dean smiled in response, setting his cheek flat against Cas's chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Castiel leaned down, kissing the top of his head gently and nuzzling his nose into his neck afterward.

They remained quiet, sitting with their arms around each other and their bodies tangled under the bedsheets, with the occasional stolen kiss and caressed skin. Dean seemed deep into thought, staring at a blank spot in the corner of the room.

"What's on your mind?" Castiel asked him softly, brushing his hair back. Dean's cheeks suddenly turned red, and he shook his head, muttering a soft "nothing", but Castiel wasn't buying it. "What's wrong? Tell me..."

"Don't you-," Dean started but he stopped himself, his eyes refusing to meet Castiel's.

"What is it, baby?"

"Don't you need help too?" Dean whispered so quietly Castiel had almost missed it. But he had heard him and he found himself grinning and chuckling.

"Why? Are you offering?" He teased him with a laugh but Dean's face only turned a brighter shade of red and he turned the other way, ignoring Castiel's touch.

"No," he grumbled, as embarrassment ran through ever fibre of his body.

Castiel smiled and leaned over his shoulder, kissing his cheek softly and nibbling at his earlobe, sending shivers down Dean's back. "It's okay, Dean. I only wanted to help you, to pleasure you. To make you feel good." He spoke softly in his ear, and Dean couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his face.

"So fucking good," he breathed out making Castiel smirk. He kissed Dean's neck and leaned his chin on his shoulder.

"Good, it's what you deserve, baby," he told him and Dean turned around in his arms, pressing their lips together in a small, loving kiss.

"Where have you been all my life?" He asked him through the kiss and Castiel only laughed in response, wrapping hid arms around Dean's waist, hugging him close. They laid there quietly again, wrapped in each other's warmth and tight grip, listening to each other's steady breathing that had synced up together. Dean's eyes had started closing as he was close to dozing off and Castiel had noticed, rolling over on his back to turn off the bedside lamp. Dean followed him, cuddling to his side, with his head leaning against his chest and arm laying loosely over his torso. Castiel nuzzled Dean's hair, his hand running over his bare back gently, scratching it comfortingly as Dean slowly dozed into deep slumber. It was long before they had both fallen asleep, wrapped up in each others arms, lulled by the quiet sound of their breathing.

Dean woke up the following morning as a sweaty mess with the sheets crumpled at his feet. The bed was empty and the comforter was left cold beside him. He shivered as a cold breeze came through the open bedroom door. He suspected that Castiel had left a window open downstairs or something. He could hear the water running in the bathroom, Castiel taking his morning shower. He could see the steam coming into the room from under the bathroom door, quickly disappearing as it mixed with the cool air in the bedroom. He sat up in bed, running a lazy hand over his sleepy face. He turned to glance at Castiel's leather bound watch which he had left on the nightstand and groaned when he realised he only had an hour before having to get to his classes.

Dean got out of bed, finding his underwear on the ground when he got the urge to use the bathroom. He could've made his way to the other one across the hall, but there was something tempting about the hot running shower water, with Castiel under it. He walked over to the bathroom and opened the door slowly, creeping his head inside. Cas hadn't noticed his presence yet, his back turned to the shower curtain as he soaped up his body. Dean finished using the bathroom and flushed the toilet. Castiel hissed as the water ran cold for a second and Dean smirked to himself, pushing the curtain aside. He didn't know where all of his confidence was coming from, but he took advantage of it while it lasted. Castiel was about to turn his back to greet (and probably whine to) his newcomer, when Dean stepped into the tub with him and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, leaning his face against his back. He felt the warm water falling against his back and wetting his hair, erasing all traces of sleep from him. He pressed his lips in a soft kiss on Castiel's bare shoulder, the other man chuckling with a slight shake of his head.

"Morning, sunshine," he told him as he turned around in his around the water washing off the last spots of foamy soap off his body. "Couldn't wait till I was done?" He asked him, placing his hands on Dean's waist, pulling him closer to him.

"This seemed a lot better," Dean replied with his toothy grin. "Much more exciting," he added as he leaned forward, pressing his lips softly against Castiel's. Castiel smiled against his lips, kissing him back just as tenderly. But with the heat of the water and the moment, he flipped him around, kissing him much harder and pressing his back flush against the cold wall's tiles, leaving no space between their bodies. Dean gasped for air and Castiel took his chance to attach his lips to Dean neck, licking the water droplets and kissing his wet skin. Castiel grabbed Dean's hands, intertwining their fingers together and holding their hands above Dean's head on the cold shower tiles, peppering kisses down his collarbone.

"I'm gonna be so late for class," Cas mumbled against Dean's skin, moving back up to his face, planting kisses on his jaw and stopping at the corner of his lips, rubbing his nose ever so lightly against his cheek. Dean smiled against Cas' lips as they grazed them gently, pecking them softly.

"So am I," he mumbled back, licking his way between Cas' lips. Dean could feel the older man's hard-on against his thigh as he kissed him deeper.

"We'll just have to be quick then," Castiel said, one of his hands falling between their warm, wet bodies, and grabbing a hold of Dean's cock giving it a few short tugs, the younger boy's breath hitching in hid throat, a small whimper escaping his plump lips. He flicked his sensitive head with his thumb, Dean letting out a soft ahh. Cas' other hand grabbed his own cock and started stroking it slowly, his lips never leaving Dean's.

Dean pulled away for a second to catch his breath and let out a soft moan. He proceeded to crouch down, kneeling in front of Cas, his hands grabbing a hold of his waist. Cas looked down at him with a little surprise when Dean kissed the V right above his pelvis with confidence. He supposed that the younger boy was finally too tired of taking it too slow. He didn't complain. Instead, he shut his eyes, letting his fingers brush back Dean's wet locks off his face as the younger boy's lips trailed lower, kissing his tip softly. Dean took a deep breath in before taking Cas' dick in his mouth. He started with only the tip, a little hesitant to go further. He wrapped his fingers around the bottom and flicked his wrist lightly, letting his palm stroke him up and down. As Dean progressively took more of Cas's length in his mouth, rolling his tongue over it, and licking it up, Cas breathed soft encouraging words. He brushed his hair back, pulling at it when Dean hit just the right spot. "Shit, Dean. Baby," he groaned in pleasure as he felt himself edging closer to his release. Dean's fingers wrapped around his own length, stroking himself to his own release as he sucked his cheeks in, Castiel letting out a loud moan, rolling his hips forward, fucking Dean's perfect lips. The younger boy pulled away lightly, his green eyes staring brightly up at Castiel as he caught his breath for a second, before reattaching his swollen cherry lips against Castiel's head. The older boy chewed on his lower lip hard, as his legs started shaking with his release coming closer. He pulled Dean back by his hair as he felt himself close, Dean looking up at him in surprise with his eyes wide. He pulled him up, attaching his lips to his hard, pressing his tongue into his mouth, licking his tongue, tasting himself in Dean's mouth. He pressed him against the wall, rolling his hips as his dick rubbed against's Dean's, rutting against him. Dean exhaled at the contact, his chest tightening as the butterflies in his stomach fluttered. He felt a wave of heat rush, burning his skin with every touch of Castiel's fingers on his waist, on his stomach, on his back, his ass. He pushed his hips forward, against Dean's, their hard cocks rubbing against each other. Castiel dropped his hand between them, grabbing both their members. The water had started to run cold on their backs but neither one cared to notice, the heat of their bodies enough to have them sweating. "Fuck, Cas, I'm so close, baby," Dean breathed out, feeling Castiel's teeth on his shoulder, grazing against his skin as he exhaled heavily. Dean felt his stomach heave and roll in as he finally let go, releasing his load on Castiel's hand and their torsos. Castiel let go soon after, leaning his forehead against Dean's shoulder as he breathed heavily. "I love you," he whispered, kissing his bare skin. "I love you," he said again louder, kissing his way up Dean's neck to his lips.

"I love you," Dean whispered back, kissing him intensely. They finally pulled away after a few moment, their foreheads pressing against each other and noses touching.

"We're all out of hot water," Castiel laughed as he felt the cold water hitting his skin. Dean laughed along, running his hand down his stomach as the water washed off their jizz.

"And we're going to be really late for class," he laughed and Castiel only grinned in response.

"Worth it," he stated, grabbing the bar of soap and the loofa. "Let's get you cleaned up," he said quietly and the boys proceeded to take an actual shower this time. Dean didn't have extra pair of clothes around Castiel's house and he wouldn't have time to pass by his apartment if he wanted to make class on time, or a few minutes late at least. Castiel lent him an old pair of jeans that he never wore and a sweater to protect him from the cold. Dean had insisted on borrowing a plain half-sleeves t-shirt only but Castiel only glared at him telling him that he wasn't going to say "I told you so" when he came down with the flu the next day. So the boy simply sighed and shrugged on the navy blue knit sweater. The clothes hugged his muscles perfectly. Castiel was a little leaner and Dean held more muscles around his biceps from working at the garage for so long. And, well, he did have a naturally much rounder ass. Castiel stood back as he slipped his arms through his blue suit jacket, staring at Dean as he put on his boots. He smirked at him as he stood up and walked over slowly, pushing a wet strand of hair back from his forehead. "You look cute in those," he complimented him and Dean smiled, feeling the blush creep up his neck.

"And you look handsome in this," he grabbed Castiel's tie, pulling him closer and pressing his lips gently against his. Castiel smiled into the softest of kisses, and pulled away a short moment later, the smile permanent on his face. He grabbed his watch from the nightstand and muttered a low curse word as he realised they only had less than ten minutes to get to campus. They could make it if they drove past all the red lights and a little over the speed limit. He grabbed his trench coat and practically bounced down the stairs, grabbing his keys and jogging outside. Dean followed right behind him, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. Castiel locked the front door and they stood there for a second, taking a breather as he unlocked his car. Until Dean realised that he didn't have his car since he had grabbed the bus from campus the night before.

"Where's you car?" Cas asked him and Dean grimaced as he replied with "not here." They were being very cautious with keeping their relationship from other people's business and away from peering eyes. Castiel's neighbours never asked questions. They simply thought that Dean was his cousin, a lie that they had perfected whenever they were seen together off campus. It hurt, having to pretend to be related instead of admitting to being a couple, two boys who were head over heels in love with each other. But it wasn't safe out there. God knows what people were willing to do to them because they were "sinning," because what they were doing was unnatural, and wrong. They were safe because they never really hung out around the places in their own town where people they may know might see them, save for their own houses and Castiel's office. They mostly kept their distance at the university, and made sure to never leave or come together. They didn't need to raise any suspicion, especially with the dean of their faculty or any chairmen who had the power of ruining their lives, or worst, hurting them.

Dean let out a heavy breath, pulling his hair back. "It's okay, you go ahead. I'll grab the bus from down the street," he told Cas, sending him a smile as he tried to turn around but he stopped him with a shake of his head.

"None sense, we'll just go together. Hopefully nobody will be arriving as late as we will be. If anyone ask, I found you with a flat tire or something and offered you a ride," Castiel smiled back and Dean hesitated for a moment before letting out a sigh in defeat and opened the car door.

Cas drove as fast as he could without putting anyone in danger, and tried his best not to get any tickets, but he had a feeling he would have a fine to pay soon, the way he was driving. But they had made it, only seven minutes late to their respective classes. Without thinking, Dean had leaned and kissed Castiel's cheek before exiting the car. He stood there for a moment, frozen in his spot as he had realised what he had done and he looked around frantically to check if anyone had noticed anything odd, but thankfully the parking lot was empty. He let his shoulders relax as Castiel locked the car and joined his side. He squeezed his hand gently by his side, reassuringly, before walking past him and into the building. Dean jogged to his class, jumping up the stairs two at a time. When he had finally reached the classroom, he was only ten minutes late. He let out a breath as he knocked twice and opened the door, walking with his head low to the very back of the class.

"Winchester, good of you to join us," The professor called out, his back turned to him.

"Sorry sir, won't happen again," Dean replied, out of breath as he flopped into his seat beside Charlie.

"You were with Cas, weren't you?" Was the first thing that Charlie whispered to him as he pulled out his pen and notebook. He only rolled her eyes at her, preferring not to answer. "You've got that glow Dean, and you're wearing a sweater that's not yours... oh my gosh! It got steamy didn't it?"

"Oh my God, Charlie, will you shut up? It's not like I ask you about the details of your sex life," he snapped at her in a whisper-voice, his cheeks turning red.

"Well you know a lot about it though," she told him and before he could reply, she grinned sheepishly, looking down at her notes. "Alright, fine, not like you asked for them. But, you look good Dean. Happy," she told him with a friendly smile and Dean couldn't help but smile back.

"I am, kid," he told her and she grinned excitedly back at him.

The rest of the week flowed by as a complete blur. Dean wrote more papers, passed more exams, and spent a lot of his afternoons in Castiel's office, desperately making out with him, and sometimes, those intense make out sessions have ended with either one of them or both of them on the ground in a sweaty mess. On the weekend, Charlie forced him to go to a frat party, tagging along with her girlfriend Lune and Jo and Ash. Charlie had introduced him to a weird, scrawny kid called Garth at the frat house who liked to hug a lot. While Dean wasn't entirely fond of the hugs, the kid was such a lightweight, getting drunk from his first beer that he felt responsible to keep an eye him and make sure he didn't pass out somewhere dangerous. He ended up having to throw him in the bathtub where he had passed out and was too heavy for Dean to carry to an unoccupied bed somewhere in the frat house. Dean had a couple of beers, played darts with Jo and Ash, and danced to the Beatles with Charlie and Luna. Well, the girls danced. He only sang the lyrics at the top of his lungs and took large sips from his beer. He would never give Charlie the satisfaction but he had fun. He really needed this break and having these few hours where he didn't have to care for anything or anyone, not even himself, really felt nice, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Castiel had told him to enjoy himself and make sure to call him when he had gotten home safely, but Dean was too drunk by the end of the night that he had given Luna, the only one sober enough to drive, the address to Castiel's house instead. It was well past two in the morning and he assumed Castiel was already fast asleep but when he stepped up to the door and rang the doorbell, Castiel had surprisingly answered the door only a few seconds later, wearing only pyjama bottoms.

"Dean?" He asked in surprise and the younger boy only giggled as he stepped into the house and wrapped his arms tightly around Castiel, engulfing him in a hug. Castiel chuckled, wrapping his arms back around Dean after he had shut the door close, hiding them from the eyes of strangers. "I thought you were gonna call me when you got home safe," he chuckled, pulling away from the hug to look at Dean's face properly. His face was relaxed, the creases in his forehead softening and the smile on his face reaching his eyes.

"I just got home, Cas, hold on a second," Dean replied, his words slurring a little, kicking his shoes off by the door and hanging his leather jacket on the coat hanger by the door. Castiel's eyes widened a little at Dean's comment, letting out a small laugh at his confusion.

"Dean, you're at my place, not your home," he laughed, grabbing his hand dragging him to the kitchen. Dean followed him without any reluctance, like a lost puppy, his eyes wide and bright. He sat him down by the table, grabbing a glass from the overhead cupboard and filling it with cool water from water tap by the sink. He handed it to Dean who took it without any thought and finished it all quickly.

"Well, Cas, you are my home!" He replied with a grin and a small giggle. Castiel stopped in hid tracks, turning around to glance at Dean, his eyes widening at the boy's comment. He felt his heart clench as his stomach churned. He had literally felt his heart skip a beat. His blue eyes were staring at Dean with such adoration, leaving the boy confused and lost by the look he was receiving from Cas, being too drunk to realise what his confession would do to Castiel. In one swift stride, his grabbed the younger boy's cheeks in his hands and kissed him deeply.

"God, I love you so much, Dean Winchester," he whispered into the kiss, leaving Dean as a giggling mess in his drunk state. Cas couldn't help but laugh along as he looked absolutely adorable. He would give that boy anything he wanted, and he would make sure that that same smile he was sporting would always be there on his face. He would do anything in his power to have him this happy and to protect him from the disappointing world outside. He wanted to wrap him in his arms and keep him there, safe from the everything else.

Castiel held his hand out as he walked out the door, and Dean took it, following him into the hall. "Let's get you to bed, you drunk ass," he laughed as Dean sent him his wolffish grin, almost tripping over his own two feet if it hadn't been for Castiel's hand holding him steady. He dragged him up the stairs and to his bed, pulling his shirt over his head and his pants to the floor to make him comfortable. He went to grab him a pair of pyjamas, but by the time he had turned around, he found the boy deep asleep over the duvet, snoring softly. He smiled at him, placing his lips gently on his forehead and kissing it softly. "Goodnight, Dean. Sweet dreams, sweetheart," he whispered as he pulled the covers from underneath his body, climbing into bed beside him. He pulled them over their bodies, and Dean turned to the other side, curling up against Castiel's side, his arm slinging over Castiel's bare torso in his sleep. Castiel smiled in adoration down at him, getting himself comfortable and closing his eyes to catch some sleep.

He let Dean sleep in the next morning, going about the house, fixing himself some tea and a quick breakfast, and going around the house tidying it up. It was well past ten in the morning when Dean wandered downstairs in Castiel's sweaters. He found him sitting on the couch, drinking tea and reading the morning paper while some show was playing aimlessly on the back on the television set at a low volume.

Dean walked over to the couch as Castiel smiled up at him, putting down his mug and newspaper on the coffee table. He flopped down besides him and snuggled up to his side, burying his face into Castiel's bare chest. "Morning," Castiel spoke quietly, smiling and scratching Dean's hair as the boy responded incoherently, Castiel laughing as the warm breath tickled the skin of his chest. "How did you sleep?" He asked him and Dean pulled his head up to look up at him with a small pout on his lips.

"My head hurts," he complained, his voice still hoarse and deep from all the sleep he got. Castiel smiled and leaned in to peck his pouty lips.

"Hangover?" He asked with a small chuckle as Dean nodded his head. "Come on, I'll fix you up some breakfast. Extra greasy," he baited him as he held out his hand to lead him to the kitchen. Dean couldn't say no to such an offer of course, holding Cas' hand in his and following him to the kitchen. He hoisted himself up on the kitchen counter and leaned his head against the cabinet behind his head as Castiel went around the kitchen, grabbing some bacon and eggs from the fridge and the frying pan from one of the cupboards. He went to work, frying the strips bacon until it was sizzling hot and well cooked. Dean sat there, watching his every move, every muscle in his back that twisted and reshaped itself as he moved around the kitchen, grabbing peppers and salt to flavour the bacon and eggs. He jumped down from the counter and stepped over to Castiel, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind and leaning his cheek against Cas' warm back. Castiel smiled widely at Dean's innocent and sentimental touch. He turned off the fire beneath the sizzling food and scraped them off into the empty plate laying on the counter. He put down the frying pan and then finally turned around in Dean's arms. He held his chin up between his index finger and thumb and leaned in, catching his lips in a sweet kiss. Dean smiled, shy, and kissed him back, his arms pulling Castiel closer to him. Castiel pulled away after a few moments, running his thumb over Dean's cheek in a caring gesture.

"You want some coffee too, love?" He asked him and Dean nodded, grateful. Castiel put the food on the table and went to the overhead cabinet to grab the bag of ground coffee beans. He heated up some water with the kettle and poured it into a mug with the coffee, leaving black just as Dean liked it. He put it in front of him at the table with an aspirin pill for his headache. Castiel sat on the chair opposite his, and watched him as he scarfed down the food faster than he'd ever seen anyone eat some eggs and bacon. It was quite amusing to watch. Dean looked up to grab a sip of coffee when he noticed Cas staring at him.

"What?" He mumbled with a mouthful and Castiel only laughed, leaning back in his chair.

"Nothing, I just love watching you," he admitted with a small shrug of his shoulders.

"Well, it's a little weird," he replied, feeling his cheeks heat up with a blush. He grabbed the mug, holding it in front of him and taking a long sip of the hot coffee, taking no notice to its hot temperature, which amused Cas even more, knowing that he was trying to hide his blush from him. When Dean had finished his breakfast and taken the aspirin pill, he was feeling much better, and back to his normal grumbling and complaining self. They laid on the couch with Dean's in Cas' lap, Castiel's fingers running absentmindedly through his hair, as they watched some Star Trek reruns.

"I didn't think you were a Star Trek kinda guy," Dean told him with a little laugh. Castiel looked down at him with his eyebrows furrowed and a small smile on his face.

"You didn't think I was a rock music kinda guy, either," he retorted and Dean chuckled, looking up at him with a grin.

"Well, you're full of surprises," he told him and Castiel smiled, shrugging his shoulders.

"So are you, Dean." He zoned out as the characters on the show tried to save the day, his mind going back to the previous night, when Dean had come over after his party, and especially back to his words, when he had drunkenly admitted to Castiel that he was his _home_. He didn't know if he remembered saying any of that, or if it was just a drunken mistake and he was nervous to find that out. But he couldn't get his mind off it. So he looked down at Dean who was focused on the television screen and asked him, "Do you remember anything from last night?"

"Uh, I met this kid, Garth, at the party. He was so weird, man, so fricken weird. A hugger too, yekh," he grimaced, his neck contorting as he recalled the scrawny kid's arms around his shoulders. Castiel laughed at his words, prodding him on to continue. "We played darts, and beer pong, I think. It would explain why I was so drunk anyway. Then Charlie's girlfriend was supposed to drop me off home, but I guess I wanted to see you, so I gave her your address, I'm sorry about that too," he grimaced again, thinking of how he had given Castiel's private address to someone he didn't know, another student.

"That's fine, Dean," he reassured him, his fingers still playing with his soft locks. "What else?"

"What is this? An investigation? No, officer, I promise it was a drunken mistake! Please, don't lock me up! I'm innocent! I swear!" His voice went squeaky in the end as he mocked being interrogated by a police officer, Castiel bursting out in loud laughter at Dean's comedic attempt.

"You know, you should be on stage making jokes. I'd be front and centre, baby, cheering you on," Castiel joked, poking Dean's side laughing as the boy squirmed around on the couch. Dean swatted his hand away with a small pout as Castiel laughed some more, returning his hand to Dean's hair.

"I would be a popular comedian, though, wouldn't I?" He wondered cockily and they both chuckled at that. "Did I say anything embarrassing while drunk? Is that it?" He asked Castiel who only shook his head.

"No, it wasn't embarrassing," he smiled, looking down into Dean's eyes. "You said I was your home," he told him and Dean seemed taken aback as he tried to remember the incident. He pulled himself off Cas' lap and sat down properly besides him on the couch.

His hand reached out for Castiel's, and laced their fingers together, squeezing it comfortingly. "Well, you are my home, Cas. There's nothing for me back in Kansas except for Sammy, and he's not staying there after graduating. My apartment is crap, and well Bobby and Ellen are like family to me, but it's not my home, not really. But with you, I don't know," he shrugged his shoulders, letting out a sigh. "Cas, I'm the most comfortable when I'm with you. I can be myself, you know. I don't have to worry that I'm keeping any deep and dark secrets from anyone. I know I'm safe and I'm not worried. And, I'm happy. You make me happy, Cas." He admitted, looking down in embarrassment at his revelation.

"You're something else, Dean, you know that?" Castiel breathed out, holding Dean's face in his hands gently.

"Well, I try," he replied arrogantly and Castiel rolled his eyes at him.

"I love you," he said as he leaned in and kissed him softly. "You make me really happy too, Dean," he admitted against Dean's lips, feeling them twist into a wide smile as they kissed deeply and passionately.

 


	7. Chapter 7

_November, 1971_

The cold had come along with November. While Dean insisted that simply wearing a jacket over his shirt was enough to keep him warm for the day, Castiel thought otherwise. He nagged him about putting on more layers, making sure Dean knew that he was not going to take care of him when he got a cold because he didn't wear enough clothes. They both knew that it wouldn't be the case though, and that Castiel would spend his time making sure Dean would have everything he would need if he were to fall ill. Dean on the other hand bragged about how he had never caught so much as a cold his entire life, that he had never has to cough nor sneeze unless there was a bad odour tickling his nose. Of course, he came back home that same day a sneezing mess. Castiel had burst out laughing the second he had walked into his house and he had sneezed everywhere. He put him to bed and brought him tea and some medicine for his cold, making sure that he was warm and comfortable in his bed. And although Dean complained a lot every time Castiel pestered him with his medicine, and blankets to keep him warm, it felt good having someone to care for him and feel overprotective over his health. He had never had that his entire life. He had to care for Sam when he got sick or hurt in any way, but there wasn't anyone to care for Dean if he had ever gotten a headache or a scab wound.

It was nice, having someone who simply wanted to be there for him because they loved him and they wanted to. And even when he tried to push Castiel and his chicken noodle soup away, when he bent down to press a kiss on his forehead once he had agreed to have the soup for dinner, he couldn't help the wide smile that would appear on his face, and Castiel was not oblivious to it. He knew that Dean's tough exterior was only an image that he's had to build for himself for years, to protect himself. He knew that beneath that wall was just a boy who appreciated the smallest of affectionate touches and most tender of kisses, and he did not mind providing him with as many of those as he possibly could.

Dean spent more time at Castiel's house than at his own apartment, he had practically moved in there. He only went to his own place to change his clothes, grab any necessities, and to sleep whenever he was running late at the library studying, and it was closer for him to go home instead of going all the way to Cas' place. He had even started calling Sammy from Castiel's apartment. He had given him the number, telling him to call his "friend's" house if he couldn't reach him at the apartment. Dean even had a pair of keys to Castiel's house. He had borrowed the spare keys one day when Castiel was running late and when he went to hand them back to him when he had come back him, Cas had simply shrugged and told him to keep them. Dean was spending so much time over that he might as well just have a pair of keys in case he wanted to come inside and Castiel wasn't available to get the door. And it was just easier that way, even if he was home to let him in. Dean was so happy that day and he had tried to keep his cool about it, but he just couldn't stop himself from kissing Castiel deeply and confessing his love to him.

The two of them had stopped caring about catching rides together to and from campus. They found that the adrenaline that they got from fear of being caught was simply much too exciting, and it was too much fun. Dean loved the time they spent together in the car, as short or long as the rides were. They would be spent with either Castiel talking his ear off and Dean listening in carefully or the radio playing much too loud and the pair of them singing even louder and off key to the songs that played.

It was fair to say that Dean had fallen head over heels in love with Castiel. Whenever he was in his presence, or even thought back to him, his heart would start beating right out of his chest and his stomach would churn. He found it funny how Castiel could still make him feel the same way he did when they had first met, even after months of being together. If anything, the more he had gotten to know him, the more his feelings would become physical such as beating hearts and butterflies agitating too much.

It was Friday evening and Dean had found himself in his apartment after his classes, getting ready to spend the rest of his evening cooped up in his small apartment, writing a paper that he had to submit first thing the next morning. He still didn't understand why his English professor wanted that ten page essay on a Saturday morning, but at least it meant the rest of his weekend would be free. Thanksgiving break was coming pretty soon and he couldn't wait for those sweet few days off with nothing to do but stay in bed with take-out, Cas, and films.

" _So you're really not coming home for thanksgiving, Dean?_ " Sam spoke through the phone, his voice sounding disappointed. Dean closed his eyes, feeling like he was just punched in the gut by Mohammad Ali for disappointing his brother like that, but he couldn't do it, he couldn't face his father.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Sammy. What're we gonna do, anyway? Eat peanut butter sandwiches and watch reruns of the Twilight Zone?" He tried to play it off cool as he twirled the cord to phone with his finger.

" _Well, yeah, dad would be too drunk and passed out and we'll get the TV all to ourselves, and I'll get to see you!_ " Sam enthused and Dean let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. He hated upsetting Sam, especially since he was missing him so much after having not seen him for a few months.

The doorbell rang and Dean furrowed his eyebrows in confusion since he wasn't expecting anyone. "One second, Sammy," he spoke into the phone before putting it down on the small table and went over to the door, opening it to reveal and grinning Castiel with a brown bag. He gave him a weird look as he pulled him inside, and closed the door behind him as Castiel kissed him on the cheek.

"Cas, what are you doing here?" He asked him, grabbing the bag from him to peep inside and found boxes of food, a grin instantly forming on his face as his stomach grumbled. "Gosh, I love you!"

"Well, I'll just keep the food coming, shall I?" Castiel replied sarcastically as he put the food on the old dining table and went to the cupboards to grab them some plates.

Dean went back to the phone to a giggling Sam. " _Dean, there's a girl in there, isn't there?"_ He said in an excited tone and Dean only rolled his eyes.

"No, it's not. Shut up, Sam." He grumbled through the phone but Sam only laughed in response.

" _I know you've got a girl in your apartment Dean! You called her Cas, and I heard that smooch! And you said I love you!"_ Sam expressed and Dean closed his eyes, rubbing his temples furiously.

"Hey, you don't know what you're talking about, Sammy. I don't have a girl in here, and even if I did, it's none of your business!" Dean shot back, and Castiel looked up at him, giving him a weird look. Dean only shrugged in response and Castiel chuckled, shaking his head.

" _Well, is she gorgeous at least?"_

Dean looked up at Castiel who was setting up the cartons of food on the table and smiled at him. Cas noticed him staring and looked at him with raised eyebrows and Dean only grinned toothily back at him. "Drop dead gorgeous, Sammy," he replied, his eyes still following Cas around the kitchen.

" _So you do have a girl in there!"_ Sam exclaimed triumphantly and Dean only sighed in response, muttering a "shut up" to a laughing Sam. " _I really miss you, Dean,"_ he said quietly after a few seconds of quiet and Dean's smile dropped, staring down at his shoes.

"I miss you too, kid. Hey, maybe we'll see each other around Christmas, yeah? I have about a month off for the holidays. We can go on a road trip or something," Dean suggested, knowing that there was a fat chance at that ever happening, but he would still hope and dream if it meant cheering Sam up.

" _Dad wouldn't like that,"_ he commented with a chuckled which Dean joined in to.

"The more reason to do it!" He said and they both laughed. There was a bang on the other line and Sam swore under his breath.

" _Shit, dad's home. I'll talk to you later, Dean. I love you_!"

" _Sam, who you talkin' to boy?"_ Dean could hear the deep, slurred voice of his father, his blood suddenly boiling under his skin.

" _Just Kevin, dad,"_ Sam lied casually and Dean chuckled at how easily he did so.

" _Make yourself useful and get me a beer, will you?"_

 _"Right, that's my cue. Bye,"_ Sam sighed into the phone.

"See you soon, kid," Dean replied back quietly before hanging up.

"Your brother?" Cas asked from the table and Dean nodded his head, remaining quiet as he walked over to him and wrapped his arms around his waist tightly.

"Thanks for coming," he spoke against the soft fabric of his sweater and Castiel only smiled as he wrapped his arms around him in return.

"You mean thanks for bringing you food, right?" He joked, poking Dean's side, the younger boy trying to squirm away.

"Well, yeah, that too," he laughed, pulling back a little to look up at his face.

"Are you okay?" Castiel asked him, noticing the worry in Dean's face. Dean nodded, sending him a brave smile before pulling away and sitting on the wooden chair by the table. He opened the box containing his hamburger and took a large bite from it. Castiel wasn't entirely convinced, but he sat down anyway and joined Dean with his dinner. They ate quietly for a a little while until Dean broke the silence again.

"I'm worried about Sammy. And I miss him, a lot. I wish I could bring him out here with me, but Dad would throw a big fuss and he'd force Sam to go back to Lawrence with him," Dean said, staring down into his food, absentmindedly filling his mouth with fries.

"I'm sure Sam is alright. From what you've told me, he seems like a strong kid. He could handle anything," Castiel tried to reassure him and Dean smile genuinely, letting out a laugh.

"Yeah, yeah he is. Strongest kid I've ever met," he agreed with Cas, finishing off his burger. He sat back, staring at his boyfriend finishing his own dinner. "I really wish I could tell him about us. I'm scared, you know. What if- what if he hates me, or I disgust him or something? I don't wanna push him away because of who I am," Dean explained quietly, chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously at the thought of never seeing Sam because of being queer.

"That could never happen, Dean. You're his hero, his big brother. He looks up to you, and he loves you. He will love you, no matter what. I know it," Castiel reassured him, taking his hand in his and squeezing it comfortingly.

"You haven't even met him to know," Dean tried to retort, ever the pessimist.

"I know for a fact that he could never hate you though, or look at you differently." When Dean didn't reply, Castiel sighed and pushed his chair back, getting up and making his way toward Dean. He crouched down to his sitting level, and placing his hands on Dean's knees to keep himself steady. Dean looked down into Castiel's bright blue eyes and smiled weakly at him. "Hey," Castiel whispered, holding his cheek gently. "It's gonna be okay," he told him with a small grin. Dean nodded in agreement, turning his head slightly and pressed a kiss on the palm of Castiel's hand.

"Yeah, I know," He replied and leaned forward, letting his lips collide with Cas' in a sweet kiss, the one that made his stomach twist and tumblr and the smile on his face spread wider and reach his eyes. "I love you," he whispered into their kiss.

"Not just because I feed you?" Castiel replied in a joking tone and Dean barked out a laugh, shaking his head.

"It's part of everything else that I love," he replied, nuzzling his nose into Castiel's cheek.

"What else do you love?" He asked him in a whispery voice, his lips tickling Dean's hard jaw.

"Your eyes," Dean replied quietly, "your smile, definitely your lips," he said with a hint of a smirk.

"Oh, you mean those?" He puckered his lips in a ridiculous way, making Dean burst out laughing, throwing his head back.

"Yeah, those," his eyes twinkled with his smile as his thumb brushed over Castiel's bottom lip. He kissed his thumb softly and took Dean's hand in his, lacing their fingers together.

"I love you, too, Dean," he finally reciprocated his feelings with words. Dean stood up in response, helping Cas up with him and wrapped his arms around his waist, keeping him close as he leaned in to kiss him softly, his eyes shutting.

"It's not fair that you're a little taller than me," Castiel grumbled against Dean lips as he had to crane his neck up slightly to kiss him properly. Dean laughed into the kiss, leaning down some more to make it easier on Cas. When they pulled away to catch their breath, Cas pecked Dean's lips softly before leading them to the couch.

"I have to finish this ten page essay for tomorrow morning," Dean grumbled as he flopped down on the couch next to Castiel and leaned into his open arms.

"Tomorrow? It's Saturday," he replied in confusion and Dean sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

"Yeah, Mr. Crowley's an asshole, uh, no offence, you're like colleague's and stuff," Dean looked up to see Castiel grimacing and nodding his head.

"Yeah, no, I agree with you. He's not a very nice person to be around. He's so dark and... English..." Castiel commented and Dean laughed, agreeing with him. "How many pages do you have left to your essay?"

Dean grinned sheepishly, his cheeks turning pink in embarrassment. "Ten?"

"God, Dean," Castiel chuckled, shaking his head at him. "Do you want me to help you with it? We can be done in two hours, and then, we'll have plenty of time to do whatever we want," Castiel's voice went lower and deeper as he finished his sentence, sending a shiver down Dean's spine. He jumped off the couch, grabbing his backpack from the corner of the room and jogging back to the couch. He pulled out his notes and reference book and opened them all on the coffee table in front of Cas who was laughing hard at his sudden enthusiasm. "What are we writing about?"

"Romeo and Juliet, and why it's a crap story!" Dean grumbled, grabbing his pencil.

"It's not all that crap, it's kinda romantic," Castiel responded, grabbing Dean's printed version of the play to read over his notes.

"No offence, Cas, but I wouldn't kill myself if I thought you were dead," Dean responded jokingly and Castiel shrugged.

"I wouldn't want you to," he agreed with a small chuckle.

"First, I'd go through those five stages of grief or whatever, then I'd go to like a crossroad, summon a demon, and sell my soul to bring you back!" Dean grinned, as though that was the most brilliant idea he had ever come up with, one that was certainly better than William Shakespeare's best work.

"Uhm, it worries me that you know so much about demons and selling your soul to demons," Castiel responded instead and Dean only laughed.

"I told you, I'm into all the lore stuff, I like reading about myths and stories and the _un-natural_ ," Dean replied, grabbing his stack of papers and scribbling down his name.

The two of them spent the next two hours and a half starting and finishing Dean's essay. When they had reached his conclusion, Dean had even written eleven pages. Castiel mostly helped him out with the turn of his phrases and pointed out some ideas that he could add, but Dean was proud to admit that he had managed to do most of the work by himself. He set the papers down once he had finally written down the final period to conclude his essay and fell back against the couch with his eyes closed and a loud groan. Cas turned to look at him from his own stack of papers that he was correcting and gave him a smile.

"All done?" He asked him and Dean nodded with a satisfied grin, his eyes still closed.

"All done!" he replied excitedly as Castiel patted his thigh. His hand rested there as he set his own pen and papers down on the coffee table and inched closer to Dean a small smirk playing on his lips.

"I did tell you that when you were done we could do anything you wanted to do," He spoke quietly in his ear, a small shiver running down Dean's spine, the hairs at the back of his neck standing. He opened his eyes lazily and gazed up into Castiel's that were staring down into his rather sweetly, but Dean could see the want behind them, and he could feel that same want forming deep in his gut. Dean suddenly stood up and held his hand out for Castiel to grab. He led them to his still unmade bed and flopped down on his back pulling Castiel on top of him by his tie. Cas kicked off his shoes as he hovered on top of Dean and smiled, nuzzling his nose into his cheek. He grazed Dean's skin with his lips ever so lightly, teasing him. His lips trailed down his jaw and back up to the corner of his mouth. He could feel Dean on edge beneath him as he waited desperately for their lips to finally meet, but Castiel wasn't going to give in that easily. He held Dean's hands in his at his side, locking their fingers together, as he trailed his lips down his jaw and to his neck. He nipped gently at his skin, running his tongue over the spot and kissing it gently. Dean was restless, trying not to squirm under Cas, bending one of his legs up, his foot flat against the mattress. It rather amused Cas, seeing Dean so desperate for that kiss, and he was going to extend his teasing further when Dean suddenly held Cas' face in his hands and pulled him up toward's his face, crashing their lips together. Castiel's chest vibrated as he laughed against Dean's lips, kissing him back sweetly. But Dean wasn't having it. He deepened the kiss, letting go of Castiel's hands and settling his fingers in his hips, underneath his sweater and shirt, desperate for more contact.

"What's gotten into you today?" Castiel joked, pulling away just a little to look down at Dean's face.

"You just look really good today," he replied with his crooked, boyish grin making Cas laugh loudly as he leaned back in for another deep kiss. Dean's fingers hooked around the hem of Cas's shirt and sweater combination and pulled them over his body. Castiel leaned up a little, helping him get rid of his clothing items, tossing them aside to the ground. He met Dean's lips once again in a heated kiss, his own fingers hooking around the hem of the boy's t-shirt, pushing it up his body and over his head, only pulling away from the kiss for a short second. Dean's hands ran up and down Cas's back, their chests pushed against each other as their tongues licked into their mouths, battling for dominance. Dean allowed Castiel to take the reins, relaxing into the comforter. He ran his fingers into Castiel's soft locks as he attached his lips to Dean's skin. He nipped and sucked and licked Dean's sweet spot which he has grown to know and love, Dean's soft moans encouraging him. He pulled away after a few moments, admiring the small bruise that was forming and kissed it gently before letting his lips move down Dean's body. His mouth worshipped Dean's protruding collar bones, peppering them with more kisses and love bites, the younger boy and squirming, moaning mess below him. He moved on to his pecks, favouring Dean's nipple which he caught with his teeth, hearing Dean's satisfied hiss at the sudden contact. His thumb and index toyed with his other nipple as his teeth gently graze the other one, his tongue twirling around it and lapping over it. Dean's mouth was left hanging open, his eyes shut closed, and Castiel pulled back just a little to admire his face. Dean opened his eyes at the lack of contact then, looking up questioningly.

"You're so gorgeous, Dean Winchester," Castiel whispered, his voice a little hoarse. He leaned down, kissing his lips gently, and pulling away just before it got heated. He trailed his lips down Dean's middle, from his throat to his chest and down his torso, licking along the way. He felt Dean's stomach inflating and deflating at a steady rhythm matching his heavy breathing. He left his palms flat against Dean's stomach, playing with the button of his jeans with his teeth. He finally undid them, and Dean aided him in pulling them down and throwing them aside, along with his underwear. His cock slapped against his torso, already hard and leaking with pre-cum. Castiel's tongue wasted no time, tracing the length of it and licking the top, leaving a whimpering, shivering boy on the bed. He wrapped his lips around the head of Dean's length, sucking and blowing on it as his tongue twirled over the slit. Dean moaned loudly, not even caring that the neighbours might be able to hear him.

"Fuck, Cas, I'm close," Dean moaned and Cas took his opportunity to tease him some more, pulling away, and smirking down at Dean, his chest heaving as he caught his breath. Dean would have complained, but looking up into Castiel's darkened blue eyes in the dim light of his room, his breath hitched and his words got caught his throat. Castiel truly looked like an angel hovering over him in that moment, and Dean wondered how lucky he had gotten, to have been given the chance to meet this angelic creature. It really wasn't a coincidence that he shared a name with the angel of Thursday, Dean thought to himself. He wrapped his arms around Castiel's neck, and pulled him down toward him. Castiel leaned forward and kissed him again, their kiss sweet and not rushed like previously. Dean tried to show Castiel just how strong his feelings were with that one kiss, how much he really loved him, but it wasn't enough. He would never understand just how hard he had fallen for him.

He pulled away a little from their kiss, nuzzling his nose into Castiel's cheek. "Cas, I want you," he whispered biting down on his lower lip.

"You've got me Dean, I'm all yours," Castiel replied, kissing his cheek and his jaw softly. Dean shook his head gently.

"No, Cas, I _want_ you," Dean repeated himself, hoping Castiel would understand this time. "Shit, Cas I want you to fuck me," he whispered, and Castiel halted his lips working on Dean's neck. He sat up a little, looking down at Dean with surprised eyes, taken aback by his confession.

"Dean, I- are you sure?" Castiel whispered back, his eyes searching Dean's for any hesitance or uncertainty, but there wasn't any. Dean pulled Castiel's face to his and kissed him softly, nodding his head in response.

"I'm sure, Cas," he responded in an assertive tone. Castiel leaned forward again, back into his warmth and his soft lips, kissing him slowly and gently. Dean's fingers fumbled with Castiel's belt, undoing the buckle. He flicked the button of his trousers and pulled the zipper down. He pulled the pants down Castiel's legs, Cas helping him get them off and kicked them aside. Castiel reattached his lips to Dean's, deepening their kiss this time, pouring all his emotions, all of his love, his lust, his want for him into their kiss. Dean's fingers trailed down Castiel's torso, tracing the lining of his underwear. He let his hand under the hem of the cotton fabric, his fingers wrapping around Castiel's already hard length. He gave it a gentle tug with a flick of his wis wrist as Castiel pulled his shorts off. He let his hands roam all over Dean's bare skin, down his sides, along his hips and the inside of his thighs. He pulled away from Dean's lips then, both of them breathing heavily as they tried to regain their breaths. Dean watched as Castiel placed his index and third finger between his lips, sucking on them, keeping them moist.

"This might be uncomfortable at first," Castiel whispered as he pushed Dean's legs apart with one hand, his finger tracing Dean's entrance slowly. With a simple nod of approval from Dean, Castiel pushed his index finger in. Dean's eyes closed at the new and unfamiliar feeling, his teeth chewing on his bottom lip. Castiel pushed his finger entirely into Dean slowly, trying his best to be as gentle as possible. He started to push his finger in and out carefully, Dean letting out a gentle hum in pleasure. After a few more hesitant pushes of his index, Castiel added his middle finger, inserting his two fingers gently into Dean's entrance. The younger boy whimpered softly at the feeling. Castiel let him adjust to the feeling for a few seconds before he slowly started to thrust his fingers in and out, finger-fucking the beautiful boy. Dean let out a soft series of moans as Castiel's pace became more certain and he went at a steady rhythm that wasn't too slow nor too heavy, hitting Dean's sweet spot just right. Dean fingers curled into the comforter as he writhed beneath Castiel's body as his gut was filled with pleasure.

Castiel leaned down as his fingers worked a little bit faster into Dean, crashing their lips together in a passionate kiss. "Cas," Dean whimpered into their kiss. "So good," he mumbled quietly, a soft moan escaping his lips. Castiel leaned back, pulling his fingers away, Dean letting out a broken whimper at the sudden lack of contact.

"I- I don't wanna hurt you, Dean. Do you have any lubricant?" He asked him quietly, his voice rough from all their kissing. Dean nodded, chewing his lip sheepishly as he pointed at the drawer in the bedside table. He had bought it recently, believing that he would find himself in such a position with Castiel sometime. Castiel opened the drawer, pulling out the small tub of lubricant. He applied some of it on his fingers and rubbed it over his member, greasing it up enough. He applied the remaining grease off his fingers and into Dean's hole, making sure that he didn't have to be in any unnecessary pain and discomfort.

"Are you ready?" He breathed out, looking down into Dean's eyes as he aligned himself with Dean's entrance. He took his hand in his, lacing their fingers together on the mattress. Dean nodded his head, whispering a soft "yeah," in response. Castiel let out a small, shaky breath as he pushed his tip ever so gently into Dean's hole. The younger boy took in a deep breath, his eyes shutting as he adjusted to the feeling. Castiel halted his movements, allowing Dean to get comfortable with their current position. Dean opened his eyes, looking up at Castiel, giving a silent go. Castiel rolled his hips, letting himself thrust further into Dean. Dean let out a whimper and Castiel stopped moving, looking down at him in worry as he filled him completely. Dean let out a breath, adjusting to the full feeling, before he nodded to Cas to continue.

"Are you good?" Castiel asked him, caressing Dean's cheek softly. Dean pressed a gentle kiss against Castiel's palm and nodded again.

"So good, Cas," he chuckled, pulling Cas down for a kiss. Their lips joined, Dean's tongue licking into Castiel's lips. Castiel started moving again, slowly at first, trying to reach a good rhythm. Dean let out a moan with every thrust, pain mixing with pleasure. It wasn't as painful as it was unfamiliar. But he soon found himself getting used to the feeling of being filled completely as Castiel finally found his rhythm, thrusting into Dean steadily, moaning with pleasure. "Fuck, Dean, you're tight," Castiel groaned into his ear, dipping his head into his shoulder and nuzzling his neck. Dean let out a loud moan as he finally hit that sweet spot. Dean could feel his skin on fire, leaving a burning sensation at every spot his skin came into contact with Castiel's. His fingers' curled at Cas' back, scratching all the way down to his lower waist. Dean's leg wrapped around Castiel's waist, his fingers pulling at his hair as Castiel started moving faster, thrusting in deeper, hitting Dean's sensitive spot just right, leaving the boy a poor, whimpering mess.

"Shit, Dean" Castiel breathed into Dean's neck, his teeth grazing his skin, nipping at it a little hard. His tongue lapped over the skin, sucking on it until it left a bruising love bite and a loud moaning Dean beneath him. Dean's fingers found his own member and he tugged at it, rubbing it and pulling at it as Castiel rolled his hips and fucked him harder, thrusting in and out.

"Oh, fuck Cas, I'm coming," he murmured, biting down on his lower lip as his stomach flipped. He let out a loud moan as Castiel hit his sweet spot over and over again, finally reaching his edge, his come spilling all over his torso and Castiel's. Castiel let out Dean's name in low, hoarse moans as he finally spilt his load inside Dean after a few thrusts.

They both let out heavy breaths, Castiel's arms giving out and slumping down against Dean's body. He closed his eyes as he tried to regain his breath, kissing softly Dean's skin on his shoulder as Dean played with his hair gently. He finally pulled out slowly, Dean grimacing at the sudden feeling of emptiness as Castiel's load spilled out of his hole and trickled down Dean's thigh. Dean held Castiel's face with his hands and pulled him down for a long kiss that left them both breathless.

"I love you," he whispered, leaning their foreheads against each other once they had pulled apart. Castiel smiled, nudging his nose against Dean's.

"I love you, too." He whispered back, kissing his cheek before settling beside him on the bed. He reached for the ground, grabbing the first shirt he found which happened to be his sweater and used it to wipe off their chests and their cocks. He tossed it back on the ground and wrapped himself around Dean, his arms engulfing him in an embrace. Dean pulled the covers on top of them, burying his face in Cas' neck. Their bodies were sticking with sweat and come, but neither one of them cared for anything other than having their arms wrapped around each other.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Dean was sore for the entirety of the next day. He found it uncomfortable sitting down properly on a chair and Charlie had noticed. After he had handed in his essay, he made his way to Charlie's dorm room since he hadn't properly hung out with her in a while and Castiel had a few things to take care of that were work related. So when he walked over to the chair in the corner of the room and sat down, he tried his best to hide the wince and his grimace but Charlie was quick to notice it. She smirked at him teasingly, pointing an accusing finger at him.

"You totally did it!" She yelled out and Dean squinted his eyed at her, trying to act oblivious.

"Totally did what?" He pretended to be confused, picking at the skin around his fingernails.

"You can't hide it from me, I saw you wincing when you sat down," she mentioned, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at him.

"Exercising accident," he lied and Charlie rolled her eyes at him, throwing a pillow at him. Dean caught it with ease, tossing it back on the bed.

"You don't exercise, Dean. You're more likely to exorcise than exercise," Charlie replied and Dean started chuckling, turning into a full laugh as he processed her words and how true they were. He would much rather read about the lore on demon exorcism rather than go for a run or do anything remotely healthy and that included outdoor activities such as exercising.

"I do have the entire exorcism ritual memorised," he admitted and Charlie looked at him like he was the weirdest person she had ever met, and perhaps he was.

"You really worry me, sometimes, Dean. Next, you're gonna tell me you have a secret knife collection stashed under your bed and you spend your nights sharpening them in case they ever came in handy," Charlie and Dean pretended to be shocked, like she had actually figured out his deepest, most darkest secret.

"How did you know?" He gasped dramatically and Charlie threw another pillow at his sarcastic ass. Dean roared with laughter as he caught the pillow and placed it under him this time instead of throwing it back.

"Hey- HEY! I sleep on that! Ew," Charlie complained to him, a pout forming on her lips as Dean sat back down on her pillow, feeling much more comfortable this time.

"I promise I won't fart on it," he held his hands out in front of him and Charlie only sighed, rolling her eyes at him. "Yeah, well, your fat ass is still on it anyway," she replied with a groan, falling back on against her mattress.

They spent the next few hours hanging out in Charlie's room, listening to a few records and discussing whether The Flintstones was a better cartoon than Scooby Doo or not. When Luna had come back to the dorm room and her and Charlie had started getting a little touchy, Dean took that as his cue to leave. Castiel would have already been home by then. So he walked back to his apartment which was only a ten minute walk away, grabbed his car keys and drove to Castiel's house. It was a nice and short drive. The weather wasn't gloomy for a mid-November day, and Dean took advantage by rolling his window down a little to get a breath of fresh air as he drove down the familiar streets. Just a few minutes later, he found himself parking in Castiel's driveway, except his usual parking spot had been taken by an expensive looking blue car with the hood down. Dean parked right behind it, turning off the engine and jumping out of the car. He grabbed the pair of keys that Castiel had let him keep and inserted it in the door's keyhole. He twisted the key right and unlocked the door, walking inside cautiously. In the few months that he had known Cas, Dean was sure that he had never really gotten any visitors, not anyone with such fancy cars. He could hear a stranger's voice coming from the living room and the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafting down the hall from the kitchen.

Dean walked hesitantly down the hall and turned left to the living room where he heard Castiel's low voice coming from. He stood in the doorway, his eyes landing on a man's figure, sitting on the couch with one leg leaning over his knee. The man had dark hair the same shade as Castiel's and icy blue eyes, just as his boyfriend did, but somehow they were much less inviting, much colder, and lacking Cas' warm and soft gaze.

The stranger and Castiel both looked up as Dean stepped through the open doorway. Dean noticed Cas' tense shoulders and discomfort in his features, while the other man seemed rather bored, like he would much rather be somewhere else, which only made Dean wonder even more who he was and what he was even doing here in the first place.

"Dean," Cas spoke, clearing his throat. "You're early, I thought you had work?"

"Mr. Rogers gave me the day off," Dean responded, his eyes moving to the other man who was now sitting up straight, adjusting the expensive cufflinks buttoning the sleeves of his button up shirt.

"Uhm, Dean, this is Michael, my uh, my older brother," Castiel spoke and pointed at the dark haired man with the stony face, introducing him. He watched Dean carefully for a few moments before deciding to hold out his hand for him to shake.

"Michael Novak," he introduced himself and Dean reluctantly took his hand, shaking it firmly.

"Dean Winchester," he replied curtly, walking past him and sitting down next to Cas.

To say he was confused would have been an understatement. As far as Dean was concerned, Castiel had cut all ties with his family, or rather, they had cut all their ties with him because of his life choices. He didn't speak to them, and they didn't call in either, so he didn't understand why Michael, Castiel's eldest and least favourite of his four brothers (and that was saying a lot) was sitting right there in his living room having a cup of coffee.

It was silently awkward for a few moments as Michael watched Dean carefully, until Dean was finally too uncomfortable and had to do something about it. "D'you mind not staring too hard? Take a picture, they last longer," he bit harshly and to his surprise, Michael only chuckled, barely taken aback by his bark.

"Well, aren't you chippy?" Michael chuckled, "What do you do, Dean Winchester?" He asked him, eyeing his worn-out jeans and old leather jacket.

"Mechanical Engineering," he replied curtly. Michael raised his eyebrows, as though he were impressed that Dean could be that smart, given his looks and attitude.

"A little younger than what you usually go for, isn't he, Cassie?" He turned his attention to his brother, a bitter undertone in his intendedly amused words. Dean's eyebrows furrowed as he glared at the man sitting opposite him, his fists clenching at his sides. Castiel seemed to have noticed Dean tensing up beside him because he placed a gentle hand on the small of his back, rubbing gentle, relaxing circles through his jacket. But Dean couldn't seem to be able to relax, not with Michael staring at him the way he did. Dean didn't really understand why he was looking at him the way he was and it made him uneasy, staying alert. "Did he tell you why he left LA? It's a funny story actually-," Michael began, turning his attention again to Dean, laughing as he spoke, trying to tell what he thought was a funny story but Castiel seemed to think otherwise when he interjected.

"What did you come here for, Michael?" Castiel spat at him through gritted teeth, his hand stilling its movements on Dean's back.

Michael held hid hands out in defence, standing up and pulling an envelope from the inner pocket of his coat that was hanging on the arm of the couch he was on. "I'm not here to fight, Castiel. We've already done that enough in the past. I'm only here to give you this. It's a gift from dad for your birthday," he explained as he handed Castiel the off-white envelope and shrugging on his coat, as if he was ready to leave. Dean looked up at Michael, then turned around, glancing at Castiel, at the man who hadn't mentioned a single word to him about his birthday. Dean had never felt more confused than he was during the current encounter that was taking place right in front of him.

"What is this?" Castiel breathed out, turning it over in his hands but there was nothing written on the other side. The envelope looked old, the paper wrinkled and stained. On the front, there was only Castiel's name written in a shaky handwriting in blue ink.

"Dad was cleaning the attic last week, he found it between mom's stuff, thought you should have it as a birthday gift," Michael explained. twirling the keychain around his car keys in his hand. Castiel's hands had started to shake as he read his name written in his mom's handwriting over and over again.

"You really expect me to believe that he remembered my birthday? You were probably just passing through town and made you stop by," Castiel spat bitterly and Michael only sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

"Of course he remembered, Castiel. He still loves you, despite your despicable life choices," Michael replied with disgust in his voice, momentarily eyeing Dean before turning his attention back to his younger brother.

"Yeah, well, he kicked me out," Castiel muttered, clutching the envelope tighter in his hand.

"Yeah, well, I'm just giving a message here. Gabe says hi, by the way. Luc and Raphael, well, you know how they are. I'll tell them you said hi," Michael spoke making his way to the front door. "Yup, I'll just walk myself out," he called out sarcastically, but Castiel couldn't care less. He remained standing there, his eyes glued to the envelope in his hands. The distant click of the door followed by the roar of an engine broke him out of his trance and he moved to the couch where Dean was still sitting. Dean's hand moved to his thigh, squeezing it reassuringly.

"Are you okay?" He asked him quietly, watching his face carefully. Castiel nodded as he chewed on his bottom lip nervously, the letter shaking slightly in his hands. "I- I'll give you some space, to open that, yeah?" Dean whispered, getting ready to stand up but Castiel's hand shot up and held his hand tightly.

"No, uh, don't go, please," his voice faltered in the end and Dean's heart contorted. He sat back down beside him, holding Castiel's hand in his lap gently, running his thumb on comforting circles on the back of his hand. "I don't know if I should open this," Castiel whispered, tracing the curved handwriting on the envelope with his finger lightly.

"You don't have to open it now," Dean squeezed his hand reassuringly, lacing their fingers together.

"Might as well get it over with." Castiel took a deep breath and pulled out the folded piece of paper from inside the envelope. With shaky fingers, he unfolded the paper. Dean watched his face carefully as his Cas's eyes scanned the scribbled writing on the letter. He tried his best to give him privacy. If Cas wanted him to know what was in the letter, he would tell him. He didn't want to break his trust by reading it over his shoulder. Castiel's eyes welled up with tears, a single one streaming down his cheek. A small laugh escaped his lips as he kept on reading the letter, sniffling and wiping the stray tear with the back of his hand. Dean's grip tightened on his hand as a sad smile made its way into his face. Finally, after a few minutes, Castiel placed the piece of paper on the coffee table and used the back of his hand to rub at his eyes.

"What did it say?" Dean asked him gently, but Cas didn't answer quickly. He sniffled, smiling wider when Dean's hand held his cheek gently and his thumb wiped off the remaining tears.

"When I left home after I had graduated, I left thinking the person I loved most in the world, my mom, hated me. I went to school in San Francisco, and didn't come back hime until I got the call that mom was very ill. I stayed by her side for a whole week until she uh, until she was gone. She was too weak and was having a hard time breathing, it was lung cancer, final stages. I didn't know she'd written me a letter," Castiel explained to Dean who listened intently to his every word. "She uhm, she wrote that she still loved me, no natter what, that she never really forgave my father for kicking me out, and that she hoped I was taking good care of her record player which I kinda stole," Castiel chuckled and Dean smiled, eyeing the record player in the corner of the room for a second. It did look old and battered, like it had seen better days, but it still worked perfectly curtesy of Cas taking good care of it. "I just- I don't understand why my father never gave me this letter. He was the one who put all of mom's boxes in the attic, he obviously knew about it," Castiel wondered with a slightly angry tone in his voice.

Dean caresses his arm gently, nuzzling his face in the crook of his neck. "Don't think about that now, it doesn't matter. He's no longer in your life. And your mom, even if she is no longer here, she's still with you, you know? And she loves you no matter what, and that's all that matters," Dean told him, pressing a soft kiss on his neck and then his cheek.

Castiel managed to smile, leaning in and capturing Dean's lips in a soft kiss. "Thank you," he whispered before leaning his head on Dean's shoulder. They both sat back against the couch, wrapped up quietly in each other's embrace.

"Hey, Cas?" Dean wondered after a while and Castiel only hummed in response, glancing up slightly at Dean who was looking downward at him. "How come you didn't tell me it was your birthday?" He asked him and Castiel only shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno, I've never really made a big deal out of my birthday, and I don't like other people making a fuss about it. I just never tell anyone my birthday unless it's for some kind of membership where it's a mandatory option," he chuckled and Dean joined in, shaking his head.

"Well, now I feel like I owe you a present," Dean pouted and Castiel smirked, leaning forward so that their lips were barely touching.

"You gave me the best present anyone's ever given me in all my 29 years last night," he whispered jokingly and Dean could feel his cheeks turning a bright shade of pink.

"Fuck off," he shoved him with his shoulder as Cas fell back against the couch in a fit of laughter. He pulled Dean down on top of him and held him by the waist.

"I love you too," he laughed, pulling him even closer and kissing him gently. Dean couldn't help it and melted into his touch, kissing him back.

"Well, at least let me take you out tonight," he told him and Castiel sighed, throwing his head back against the throw pillow.

"Dean-," he tried to complain but Dean wasn't having it.

"C'mon, nothing fancy. We'll just go to the roadhouse, have a nice meal, on me, well on Bobby, and then we can come back here, and we'll go up to your room, and we'll get under the sheets, and we can do anything you wanna do," Dean explained his plan, his voice going lower and huskier as he finished his sentence, tracing random patterns with his index on Castiel's chest.

Castiel smiled up at him, his blue sparkling as they were still a little wet from his previous tears. Finally, he nodded his head, touching his nose with Dean's. "Alright, fine. You've convinced me," he told him and Dean grinned triumphantly. His moment of victory was rather short-lived when Castiel wrapped his arms around his waist and flipped their positions so that he was hovering on top of the younger boy, making him let out a yelp in surprise. "No surprises, though," Castiel made him promise and Dean sent him his wolfish grin, shrugging his shoulders.

"Not in public, at least," he replied and Castiel laughed, leaning his face so close to Dean's that any movement would make their lips connect.

"I can work with that," he chuckled, finally closing the gap between them and kissing Dean deeply, leaving him breathless.

Dean found himself laying on Castiel's bed that afternoon with his feet dangling on the ground as he waited for him to get dressed into something more comfortable that the suit he had been wearing the whole day for his meetings that morning. He pretended to have drumsticks in his hands, waving them in the air and pretending to hit snares and cymbals along to the song that was playing from the record player that was moved to the room. "Am I boring you?" Castiel joked as he walked out of the bathroom in only a pair of jeans, noticing how Dean had resorted to playing the air-drums to entertain himself.

"Nah, the view is anything but boring," Dean smirked at him as he eyed his bare abdomen and Castiel rolled his eyes at him, throwing his dirty shirt at him. Dean caught it, laughing, and tossed it back into the bathroom.

"So, what did Michael mean when he said well- everything he said?" Dean wondered, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. Castiel turned around, glancing at Dean with his eyebrows furrowed before turning back to the open cupboard. He picked out a light blue button-up shirt and slid his arms into his, starting to button it up.

"Do you mean about the part where he tried to tell the not-so-funny story about why I left LA?" Castiel wondered with his back still turned to Dean so he couldn't really tell the expression on his face as he spoke.

"Yeah, that," Dean responded, scratching the back of his head. "And about how I'm younger that what you usually go for? Should I be flattered or worried?" Dean tried to joke, grinning crookedly but Castiel still had his back turned, rummaging through the neatly folded sweaters and picking out a navy blue round neck cashmere one. He shrugged it over his head, sliding his arms through and straightening it down over his shirt. He kept them unusually untucked and finally turned around to face Dean.

"Do you wanna know why I left California?" He asked Dean, leaning back against the cupboard and Dean nodded quietly. Castiel remained quiet for a few seconds, mulling it over for a moment before speaking again. "About two years ago, I was just starting as a professor at a college and there was this guy, a teacher's assistant. He was working on his graduate degree so he was only about two years younger, but he was still a student and I was a teacher," Castiel started and Dean quickly understood where he was going with his story, putting two and two together. "I was never going to make a move, but he did. It was just this one time thing, but my brother found out and he's an asshole, as you already know. He told our dad and well, he had me fired. Said stuff along the lines of "bringing shame to our family name", or something," Castiel's voice became even deeper as he tried to imitate his father's voice, Dean assumed. "We had this huge fight, and he finally told me he'd take care of all my expenses  and keep the whole 'scandal' as he called it as quiet as possible, if I left town. So I did. I came here, found this job. I hated it my first year, but, it's not so bad now." He smiled softly at Dean, walking over to him and sitting right beside him on the bed. "I guess Michael just thought that you were too young for me, and he was hinting at the incident. And maybe he's right, maybe I am a little older, but," he sighed, taking Dean's hand in his.

"But, I don't care," Dean finished for him. "You're not that much older. And I love you anyway," he told him with sincerity in his eyes and Castiel's smile grew. He leaned forward, kissing Dean's cheek sweetly.

"I love you too," he told him making Dean beam at him. "Shall we?" He asked, standing up and holding his hand out. Dean grabbed his hand and stood up as well.

"Let's go," he said, moving to the record player and placing the disk back in its jacket. Castiel went to grab his coat along with his keys and wallet and the boys made their way downstairs, hand in hand. They hopped in Castiel's car and drove to the sweet sound of Elvis's voice playing in the background. They finally reached the roadhouse a short few minutes later and they walked inside, a safe distant between them as they found themselves in public, with possible familiar eyes peering at them. Jo was the first to greet them as she walked past them with a tray full of food on it.

"Dean! Hi! And Mr. Novak! Just give me a second, I'll be right with you two, we're packed today!" Jo yelled out as she strode toward a table in the back and placed the hot plates of food in front of the customers. Dean took a quick look around, happy to notice that there wasn't anyone he knew or recognised sitting around. He made his way to the very back of the diner and found the very last booth empty. It was his personal favourite because it was far from all the customer's and he could remain hidden, cooped up in the corner. Castiel followed him and they sat opposite each other when Jo finally joined them, flopping down besides Dean.

"Hey, who said you could sit here?" She asked him and Dean rolled his eyes at her.

"It's my booth, I've claimed it," Dean shot back and Jo rolled her eyes at him.

"Just because you enjoyed vandalising other people's property as a kid and had to carve your name on this table does not make it yours, winchester. Now what can I get you two?" Suddenly came Ellen's voice from behind Dean and he looked up, grinning at her sheepishly.

"Hey, Sammy did it too!"

"Yes, well, I like Sammy," Ellen replied and Dean gasped, feigning hurt.

"You take that back!"

"I won't. Burgers, anyone?" Ellen asked, grabbing her pen and notepad as both Jo and Cas laughed while Dean pouted at her.

"Yes, and make it extra greasy. You've hurt my feelings," Dean pouted more and Ellen rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh, boohoo, kid. And what about you, angel? What will it be?" She turned to address Castiel who smiled politely at her.

"I'll just have the cheeseburger, please," he ordered and she wrote it down with a slight nod of her head.

"D'you want anything to drink with that, sweetheart?"

"A beer, yeah," Cas told her and she nodded before turning to Dean who was starting to open his mouth to speak.

"Ah-ah, don't you even think about it, kiddo. I ain't getting arrested givin' a minor some alcohol," Ellen gave him a motherly glare and Dean groaned, leaning back in his booth as Castiel watched him in amusement. Ellen then turned back, leaving the table and Jo looked at Dean, winking at him.

"Don't worry, I got it," she said as she got up and walked away toward the kitchen.

Dean turned to Castiel once they were left alone and smiled at him. "So, you bring all your students here, Professor Novak?" He joked, wiggling his eyebrows at him and Castiel laughed at his ridiculousness.

"I thought you were the one inviting me!" He retorted with a chuckle. "And you're not even my student!" Dean smiled at him, his feet playing with Castiel's under the table.

"I wonder what it's like, sitting there and watching you talk about religion for an entire hour every day," Dean spoke in a quiet voice for only Castiel to hear.

"You would've found out if you'd stayed a little longer the first day of classes," Cas replied and Dean chuckled, remembering his embarrassing moment. It felt like ages ago. 

"I think I made a great first impression though," Dean smirked cockily and Castiel laughed, nodding his head.

"Great is not the word I would use, but it's definitely something I'll never forget," he said and Dean grinned toothily at him.

"I'm great like that."

"Yeah, you are," Castiel replied genuinely, grabbing Dean's hand across the table and squeezing it gently.

Ellen was back then with two plates of burgers and fries which she set in front of them, along with a beer for Castiel and a soda for Dean. "Enjoy your dinner boys," she called out as she walked away. Just as she was out of eyeshot, Jo walked over to Dean and placed a bottle of beer in front of him. With a wink, she disappeared after her mother as well.

"I feel like I'm a bad influence, allowing you to do this," Castiel chuckled, chucking a few fries in his mouth.

"I'm pretty sure it's all Jo's fault," Dean laughed, grabbing his burger and taking a huge bite from it.

They took their time, enjoying their meal and each other's company, keeping a light conversation going, with laughing and light banter going on well after they had finished their meal and most of the people had already left the diner. Dean had switched seats, sitting beside Castiel as Jo had joined them, bringing three plates of cherry pie with her.

"Have I ever mentioned how you're my favourite person ever?" Dean looked up at Jo, his mouth full. He let out a satisfied groan as he chewed and swallowed.

"Right, I forgot about your obsession with pie. Hey, you wanna make him happier than a five year old on christmas? All you have to do is feed him pie," she turned her attention to Castiel who laughed, smiling fondly at Dean who was too busy scarfing down the pie.

"She's right, I'd do anything for pie," Dean responded, grinning enthusiastically. Castiel laughed more, pushing his plate in front of Dean.

"You can finish mine," he told him with a chuckle and Dean excitedly switched his empty plate with Castiel's barely touched piece.

"Why don't you just marry pie?" Jo spoke sarcastically with an amused smirk on her face as she gazed at Dean.

"I would, but I don't think it's legal in any state," he responded, actually sounding disappointed as he took another bite of his pie.

"It's not that it's illegal, it's just that they'd lock you up for being crazy," Castiel pointed out and they all laughed. A customer a few tables down raised his hand then, calling for Jo and she excused herself to go help him. Castiel's hand rested in Dean's thigh under the table as Dean kept eating happily. "So, you'd really do anything for pie?" He whispered, a small smirk playing on his lips as his fingers trailed a little higher. Dean almost choked on his pie when Cas's fingers traced over his crotch for a moment.

"Cas," Dean hissed at him, his cheeks turning red. "We're in public." Castiel laughed at Dean's reaction, pulling his hand back to Dean's knee. But Dean was already turned on, feeling a bulge forming in his pants. Jo came  
back then, having given the customer's their bill and cleared their table. She raised a questioning eyebrow at Dean as he seemed to be a little uncomfortable.

"Are you okay?" she asked him and he only nodded, finishing his plate and standing up in a flash.

"Yeah, just really need to use the john," he excused himself running off in the direction of the restroom and locking himself in the first empty stall. Castiel seemed amused by the situation and he stood up as well.

"I'm gonna go check on him, I don't know what happened," he said and walked after Dean, except he knew exactly what had happened and it was all his fault. Of course, he hadn't meant for Dean to get this turned on by it. He had only meant to tease him. He pushed the door to the bathroom open and glanced around, in search for Dean. A man was washing his hands and Castiel awkward stood there by the door, waiting for him to leave. He pretended to have to wash his hands as well, and when the man had finally exited a few seconds later, he dried off his hands quickly and knocked on the only locked bathroom stall, where he assumed Dean was. "Dean-," he started when the door opened and he was pulled in by Dean and pushed against the door harshly. Castiel laughed as he reached back with his hand, locking the door and looking at Dean's darkened eyes. "I didn't know I had that effect on you," he teased him and Dean rolled his eyes at him, attaching his lips to Castiel's neck.

"Well, now you do," he murmured against his neck, trailing his lips up to Castiel's jaw, stopping at the corner of his mouth, his fingers hooking with the belt loops of his jeans. Castiel finally connected their lips, kissing him hard as his fingers trailed down his sides and to his waist. He undid the button of Dean's jeans with one swift movement and pulled down the zipper. He palmed the tent that had formed in his pants, smirking when Dean hissed, a small moan escaping his lips.

"Well, since it was my fault. Let's take care of you, babe," Castiel breathed into the kiss as he pulled down Dean's pants and underwear, his hard cock slapping against his torso. He kneeled down in front of him, wrapping his fingers around Dean's length, giving it a few agonisingly slow pulls. Dean was already leaking with pre-cum. Castiel rolled his thumb over his tip, massaging the head, covering it with the clear, hot liquid. Dean bit down hard on his bottom lip, almost drawing blood as he tried his best to remain quiet. Castiel finally leaned forward, taking Dean's tip in between his lips. He bobbed his head down, taking most of his length in before pulling back with a loud pop. He took a deep breath, flicking his wrist as his hand moved up and down his length. He set his tongue flat against the base of his shaft and licked up toward the head. Dean's fingers ran through Castiel's hair, tugging at it hard. He parted his lips, a series of whispered moans escaping his lips as Cas took the tip back between his lips, leaning forward, taking all of Dean's length between his lips. Castiel let out a choking sound as Dean's cock hit the back of his throat and he pulled back for a second, taking in a breath. He then resumed his action, taking no break as he sucked and blowed Dean's hard cock. His tongue twirled over his slit, Dean letting out a heavy moan.

"F-fuck, Cas, so good. I'm so close," he moaned pulling at Castiel's hair. "Cas, I'm gonna come," Dean whispered, but Cas didn't stop. He sucked on Dean's length, using his fingers to work at the base, until Dean finally released his warm load, exploding uncontrollably in Castiel's mouth. When Dean was done, Cas pulled back with a small pop, swallowing all of Dean's load. He grabbed some toilet paper and used it to wipe Dean's member before tucking him back in, pulling his pants up and zipping him up. Dean then pulled him back up and off his knees, attaching his lips to his in a hard kiss. He pushed his tongue into Castiel's mouth, licking his way through. He could taste himself still on Castiel's tongue. He deepened the kiss, pushing Castiel against the door, his fingers pulling at his hair. Castiel finally pulled back when his breath had run out, breathing heavily. "Fucking hell, you're so hot," Dean breathed out, leaning his forehead against Castiel's shoulder. The older man let out a small chuckled, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist, hugging him lazily. Dean stood up straight once he had regained his breath and grinned crookedly at Cas. He ran his thumb on the corner of Castiel's mouth, then sucked on it a little. "You had a little something there," he whispered and Castiel only shook his head, an amused smile on his face.

"Let's leave before anyone notices anything," Castiel chuckled, opening the door and stumbling into the restroom. He took a glance at himself in the mirror, adjusting his sweater and running a hand through his hair to tame it. Dean did the same, making sure they didn't look like they had just done anything inappropriate in a public restroom. The two of them washed their hands and Castiel walked out first to try and seem as unsuspicious as possible. Jo who was still sitting at the table gave him a weird look and he only shrugged, taking a quick swig from his drink. Dean joined them shortly after and sat down besides Cas, breathless.

"Everythin' alright?" She asked him and Dean nodded, giving her two thumbs up.

"Yeah, just felt a little uh sick, yeah. Better not go in there for a while!" He lied and Jo raised an eyebrow at him, clearly not believing him but she remained quiet about it. They stayed for another few minutes, talking and laughing among each other until the diner was empty and Ellen had shut off the lights. Bobby had come back and joined them, handing Dean a drink of whiskey from his flask when Ellen wasn't looking.

"You should drag him in here more often, we rarely ever see the boy, always in those damned books. Who would've thought," Bobby addressed Castiel, letting out a small laugh. "Well, I got an early morning, so goodnight boys," Bobby patted Dean on the back and shook Castiel's hand before heading back inside and up the stairs to his and Ellen's apartment.

"Take care boys," Ellen smiled at them. "And Dean, if I hear that you've corrupted this polite man right here, I will not turn a blind eye to all those beers Jo and Bobby have been slipping you," she told him and Castiel let out a vibrant laugh as Dean looked sheepish.

"I don't think I can corrupt him, he's a literal angel," Dean replied, looking up at Castiel with a fond smile.

"Well, you boys drive safe out there," Ellen squeezed Dean's shoulder gently before him and Cas made their way to his car. The drive back was comfortably silent and they found themselves back in bed soon after, wrapped up in each other's arm.

"So, Ellen knows about us? And she's okay with it?" Castiel asked, his fingers brushing back Dean's hair from his forehead.

"I haven't told her, but I think she has her suspicions, and I hope she is okay with it, if she does know. She's always been like a mom to me and Sammy," Dean replied, a yawn escaping his lips mid-sentence.

"They're nice folks. I think they'll support you no matter what," Castiel reassured him and Dean smiled, his eyes closing slowly.

"They really like you, by the way," Dean told him and Castiel smiled to himself. They remained quiet for another few moments until Dean broke the silence, whispering, "Happy Birthday, baby." Castiel leaned down, kissing Dean's temple softly.

"Thank you, darling," he responded with a smile, his own eyes closing.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Dean sat on Castiel's bed, rolling his toe on the rug, twirling the telephone cord with his index finger as it rang over and over again. Finally the other line picked up and Sammy's perky voice was heard.

"Hello?" He answered and Dean couldn't help the large grin that made its way onto his face as soon as he heard his little brother's voice.

"Hey, Sammy," he greeted him enthusiastically, standing up and walking toward the window. The phone cord was long enough that it allowed his to lean against the windowsill. Dean stared down at the street below and the passing cars and commuting people around town.

"Dean!" Sam called out excitedly and Dean could hear the smile in his voice.

"Happy thanksgiving, little brother," Dean smiled, watching a little girl running in front of her parents who were rushing to a few houses down from Castiel's, carrying a casserole and overnight bags, probably to spend the weekend over with family. It broke Dean's heart not to be able to spend the day with his brother, even if it didn't include turkey and stuffing and a huge family to celebrate with. But at least he had Castiel to spend the day with.

"Thank you, Dean. You too!" Sam replied. "How many days off did you get? They've only given us a couple of days," he complained with a disappointed voice, and Dean chuckled at his school boy problems.

"We got the whole week off," Dean answered and Sam groaned in response.

"Ugh, lucky. So are you just gonna spend it at home?"

"Believe it or not Sammy, I gotta spend it studying. We've got final exams coming up in a few weeks, I have deadlines," Dean told him. He had an essay due the day they got back from Thanksgiving break and two others due in the next few weeks. He also had three finals in a couple of weeks, right before the Christmas break and the end of the semester.

"Oh, well then, I really don't envy you anymore," Sam laughed and Dean joined in.

"You're lying, kid. I know how much you wish you were in law school right now! You're such a nerd you already know half the laws and all your rights by heart," Dean teased him and even though he couldn't see him, he knew that Sam was rolling his green eyes at him right now.

"Hey, you never know when they might come in handy! And that does not mean that I'm looking forward to all the studying," Sam interjected and this time it was Dean who rolled his eyes.

"Dude, you literally study for fun."

"That's only cause there's nothing better to do in this shithole!" Sam muttered and Dean sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"I wish I could bring you out here, Sammy. You'd like it. The people are nice, Bobby and Ellen are here, and I found this amazing pizza place right around the corner from Ca- from my friend's house, literally the best pizza I've ever had!" Dean almost made the mistake of saying Castiel's name but he covered it up quickly.

"Maybe I'll try it someday," Sam sounded hopeful, like he would be joining Dean any time soon, leaving Lawrence and their past behind. "Aaaand, I know you were just about to say that Cas girl's name!"

"I was not, you don't know what you're talking about!"

As if on cue, Castiel came into the room, still in his pyjama bottoms and a navy blue oversized cotton sweater. He walked over to Dean by the window and wrapped his arms around his torso. His cold fingers found warmth under Dean's t-shirt, settling on his stomach. Dean squirmed at the feeling of cold fingers against his skin, feeling Castiel smile sheepishly against the skin of his neck as he had nuzzled his face there. "Sorry," Cas whispered in his ear, nibbling playfully on his earlobe.

"Are you spending thanksgiving week with her?" Sam questioned curiously and Dean bit on his lip as Castiel continued to nibble and pepper his skin with soft kisses.

"I told you, I'm gonna be studying," Dean responded, trying hard to wiggle his way out of Castiel's grasp, knowing that if he continued he would soon let out a rather embarrassing moan, one he hoped his brother would never hear.

"Right, but that doesn't mean she can't be there, she's there right now, isn't she?"

"Why do you care, Sammy?" Dean asked, finally giving up when Castiel seemed relentless and leaned his head sideways, giving Cas more space to kiss.

"Because... You're living by yourself now, Dean, you have this exciting life! I just wanna know what it's like, you know?"

Dean smiled, nodding his head, understanding just what Sam was feeling. "Yeah, I know. Hey, three more years, and you'll be in fricken Stanford, livin' the life, right Sammy?"

"Yeah, absolutely," Sammy laughed excitedly. "Thanks for calling Dean. I really miss you!"

"I miss you too, kiddo. I'll see you real soon, I promise," Dean told him, but he didn't know when real soon really was, even though he wanted to see his brother more than anything as soon as possible. Castiel had stopped teasing him, leaning his chin on his shoulder, caressing his arms gently.

"Yeah, I'll talk to you next week, bye Dean!" Sam replied.

"Talk to you later, Sammy," Dean breathed out before hanging up the phone. He placed it back down on the nightstand and flopped down on the unmade bed, arm covering his eyes lazily. He felt the mattress push down next to him as Castiel sat down beside him. He could smell the sweet lavender scent of the detergent mixed with the faint smell of sleep as he wrapped an arm around Dean's torso and pecked his cheek gently. He ran a thumb over the spot he had just kissed, kissing his lips softly. Dean lowered his arm, laying it on Castiel's back as he sighed, kissing him back. It was a short and sweet kiss, one that left Dean smiling like an idiot after every single time.

"It's okay, Dean. I know it's hard spending holidays away from your family, especially when it's not by choice," Castiel told him, taking his free hand in his and squeezing it reassuringly.

"I feel like I'm constantly lying to him. First, I don't tell him about us, and every time he asks I deny everything. And then I keep telling him that I'll see him soon but, I can't ever go back to Lawrence, and Sammy can't exactly get here by himself. I hate lying to him!" Dean cried out, letting out a frustrated groan. He rubbed at his face in frustration and proceeded to bury his face in the mattress. Castiel placed a gentle hand on his back, rubbing it in a relaxing manner.

"You're not lying to him, it's more like keeping a secret until you're ready to come out with it, and that's okay," Castiel tried to reason with him, but they both knew just how stubborn Dean could get.

"Fine, but what about me lying to him about seeing him soon?" Dean groaned and Cas sighed, scratching his hair comfortingly.

"What can I do to help, Dean?" Cas asked him in a soft voice, brushing his hair back, and Dean looked up at him, his eyes bright green and pouting.

"Just stay here while I mope? And maybe put on my favourite album to mope to?" He grinned up at Castiel, who laughed and shook his head.

"And that's The Sound of Silence, right?" Castiel asked as he got up and walked to the door to get the record player and the vinyl.

"Yes, and if you mention that to anyone you're dead to me!" Dean called back as Cas made his way down the stairs.

"Oh, right, totally forgot about your cool reputation to uphold," he yelled out sarcastically, making Dean roll his eyes, but there was still a small smile playing on his lips as he turned around to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

It was already five in the afternoon and they had spent the entire day cooper up in Castiel's bedroom, only leaving to go to the bathroom and grab something to eat when they got hungry. They switched through several records, going from Simon and Garfunkel's The Sound of Silence, to Led Zeppelin's untitled fourth studio album that was only released a few weeks prior, to the Beatles' Abbey Road. They listened to music, exchanged stories of their childhood and previous thanksgiving dinners. Dean told Castiel the story of when him and Sam tried to surprise their dad one thanksgiving and tried to remake their mom's greatest dish which she used to call the Winchester Surprise. Their dad had come back to a messy kitchen with food stains all over the place, a burnt casserole in the oven and Sam with a sprained ankle, having slipped over some spilt rice on the ground. He was so angry he had grounded them for a whole month, and by grounded he didn't mean keeping them locked up in the house where they were only allowed to go out to school. He had sent them away to stay with Bobby and Ellen for the month. Of course, he had realised after sending them that it would have probably been the best vacation Sam and Dean ever spent and he cuz their trip short by three weeks. Dean couldn't help but laugh as he recounted the story, his eyes crinkling at the rather happy memory.

"My thanksgiving memories are all so boring," Castiel started. "All of them were spent with these extravagant dinners where all of my parents' friends and family were invited. We always had about fifty people over dinner, and they almost always ended with my dear brothers Mike and Luci fighting, which led to my dad yelling even more. That was always entertaining, when they were fighting about my life choices," Castiel chuckled, drawing random patterns with his finger on Dean's chest. Dean smiled as he imagined Castiel sitting and having dinner in this huge mansion.

"It must be nice, though. Having a proper thanksgiving dinner," he whispered, "with a good turkey and lots of stuffing. And pie for dessert. Lots of pie," he smiled as he remembered his very first thanksgiving memory, with him and both his parents sitting at a round table, Sammy on his highchair, and his dad carving a real turkey, and for the entirety of the next week, his mom made leftover sandwiches for lunch, and his dad was happy.

"Yeah, I wouldn't know what that was like if it hit me in the face," Castiel sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned his head on Dean's shoulder.

"Let's go somewhere," Dean suddenly burst out, staring down at Castiel, who opened a single eye to look up at Dean.

"Right now? It's like 11 o'clock," Castiel chuckled and Dean shrugged, sitting up and leaning his back against the headboard.

"So what, let's live a little. We've got nothing to do till Monday. Let's go up somewhere, maybe the mountains, or we can go camping. Somewhere where it's only us, Cas. Just you and me."

Castiel sat up facing him and stared at him like he was a madman in a science fiction film trying to take over the world. "Dean, it's the middle of the night."

"We'll go tomorrow morning," Dean responded with a shrug of his shoulders, as though it solved everything.

"Just up and leave everything, huh?" Castiel wondered, mulling over the idea of taking a short weekend vacation with Dean, somewhere where they could be alone in public.

"It's just for a couple of days, Cas. C'mon, let's get out of here!" Dean begged him, his voice going desperate with excitement. Castiel remained quiet as he thought it over.

"Where do you wanna go?" He finally asked and Dean threw his fists up in the air triumphantly. And the next morning, they were all packed up and cooped up in the car by 10 in the morning, driving out of town and in the direction of the big lake where they wanted to spend their weekend getaway. They took Dean's car, and he drove for the first few hours of the ride over there and when he got too tired, he stopped at a rest stop where they got some snacks for the road and freshened up a little. Castiel drove them for the rest of the way while Dean stuffed himself with chips and soda, occasionally feeding Castiel as he focused on the road ahead. They had finally arrived by three in the afternoon and Castiel parked the car in the parking lot in front of the small inn they were staying at for the weekend. Dean grabbed their bags as Cas went ahead to the front desk to check them in. He locked the car, placing the keys in his pocket and slung the two small bags over his shoulder as he made his way inside, joining Cas just as a little old lady handed him a set of keys.

"Thank you," he smiled at her politely as she showed him the way to the stairs. Dean followed Cas up the stairs and to their room. Dean was disappointed when his eyes fell on two beds but he didn't let his excitement falter. He threw the bags on the ground and jumped on the bed nearest to the window, flopping down on his back. Castiel chuckled, closing the door and tossing the keys on the small desk at the front of the room. He shrugged off his coat and slung it on the coat hanger. He then walked over to Dean and crawled on the bed over him. Dean beamed up at him, wrapping his arms around his shoulder.

"Thank you for bringing me here," he told him and Cas smiled down at him, kissing his nose.

"Thank you for convincing me to come here with you," he replied, pecking his lips softly. "I guess we'll just have to squeeze in on this bed at night."

"I don't mind," Dean smiled, pulling him down for a longer kiss. Castiel smiled back into the kiss, closing his eyes as he deepened their kiss. Castiel stood up as they parted from their kiss and held his hand out for Dean.

"Let's explore the town," he told him and Dean nodded, lacing their fingers together as Cas led the way to the door. He stopped for a second, pulling his bag open and pulling a polaroid camera out. He let go reluctantly of Dean's hand as he opened the door and stepped into the hall as a couple exiting a honeymoon suite in the room facing theirs. He was upset that him and Dean would never get the privilege of staying in a room together where they would be given one bed instead of two, but they made do, as they always did.

Dean grabbed a map from the front desk and the pair of them made their way outside. They walked close enough that their hands touched as they walked, but not close enough that they'd put themselves in danger before the judging eyes of others. They spent the rest of the day walking around town, discovering every back alley and every road, walking between houses and buildings and shops, with Castiel taking the occasional picture of Dean and Dean fighting him for the camera so that he could both take a picture of Cas and stop Cas from taking pictures of him. They went back and forth taking pictures of each other and everything they saw that by the end of the day Castiel's camera was out of film and it was left hanging around his neck. The sun was already down and most of the people had gone back into the comfort of their homes for dinner time, so Cas and Dean stopped at the nearest diner and sat down at a booth near the back where they could have their privacy. A waitress came by and handed them both a menu with a kind smile. They each ordered a hamburger with fries and a cherry soda and just as the waitress was turning around to put their order in, Cas stopped her.

"Excuse me, could you add a piece of pie to the order?" He asked her and Dean raised an eyebrow to him, though he wasn't complaining.

"I'm afraid we're all out of our special apple pie, but we still have a couple pieces of peach pie, if you'd like," the waitress told him and Dean nodded enthusiastically.

"All pie works," he responded instead of Cas and the waitress nodded before turning around and walking behind the counter. "Are you tryina butter me up for something? What are you planning?" He asked, turning his attention back to Castiel who only grinned at him sheepishly.

"Can't I treat my boyfriend to some of his favourite dessert?" Castiel replied innocently and Dean squinted his eyes at him. 

"Somehow, I still believe there's more to it than just that," Dean told him, playing around with the salt shaker on the table.

"Well, there is this gorgeous picture I took of you when you weren't looking, which I know you're gonna complain about, so I was just hoping that you will let me keep it because it's my favourite."

Dean glared at him as he realised that Castiel was actually talking about an embarrassing photo rather than a gorgeous one as he had claimed. "How bad is it?"

"It's not bad at all, it's actually perfect," he responded, pulling all the polaroids from the pocket of his coat and putting them on the table. He shuffled through the handful of photos until he found the specific one he was talking about. He grinned as he held it up to Dean, keeping it far so that he couldn't snatch it away. Dean looked mortified as he stared at the photo of him that Cas was holding. The cheeky bastard had managed to snap a picture as Dean was in the middle of sneezing when the sun had hit his face, and the face he was making was just amazing.

"Cas, come on, that's not fair! It's my picture, I should have it," Dean tried to reach for it, but Cas was much faster, stuffing it back in his pocket.

"No, you'll only rip it in half or even burn it, and I'm growing very fond of it, Dean!" Castiel replied, an amused grin playing in his face as Dean pouted. Castiel's smile softened and he placed a gentle hand on Dean's knee under the table. "Just know that I really wanna kiss you right now," he told him and Dean only shrugged, folding his arms over his chest.

"Well, I don't," Dean replied just as their waitress came back with their dinner.

"Hey, I'm treating you to pie, too!" Castiel smirked at him, throwing a fry in his mouth. Dean tried to complain but he only closed his mouth, focusing on his dinner. He chose to give Castiel the silent treatment for the rest of their dinner, even after the pie had arrived and it was mouthwatering and absolutely delicious. The finally paid the bill and walked back quietly to the inn, although it wasn't an awkward silence. Dean had forgiven Cas only seconds after he had hidden the photo from him, but walking in the cold night air in the empty streets of this new town, it only seemed comforting to walk side by side in silence with only the sound of nearby crickets and owls filling the night air. They had finally made it back to the privacy of their room and they both took off their shoes, throwing their coats on the bed that wouldn't be used.

Dean slipped out of his pants and flannel, remaining in a plain white t-shirt and his boxer shorts. He pulled the duvet off the bed and cuddled up between the sheets, wrapping his arms around one of the pillows. Cas smiled as Dean yawned and closed his eyes peacefully. He undressed as well, quietly laying his clothes on the other bed and went to join Dean in bed. As soon as he was under the covers, Dean turned in his direction and wrapped his arms around his torso instead of the pillow, laying his head in the crook of his neck. Cas placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, brushing his hair back.

"I thought you were mad at me and giving me the silent treatment," he started in a quiet voice and he felt Dean's lips turn up against the skin of his throat.

"You're warm," he simply replied, sneaking one if his legs between Castiel's.

"I'll take it," he chuckled softly, kissing Dean's temple. He switched off the lamp on bedside table and laid back in bed, getting comfortable. Dean turned to his side, his back flat against Cas' chest. Cas slung a lazy arm around Dean's waist as he spooned him, leaning his face over his shoulder. "Night, baby," he whispered and Dean simply hummed in response, probably almost asleep.

They woke up early the next morning, rising along with the sun. Castiel was the first one to detangle himself from Dean and the bed sheets, stepping over the cold floor to the bathroom. He turned on the shower water and slowly undressed himself as he waited for the water to heat a little. Once the bathroom was steamy enough, he hopped under the hot water, his shoulders instantly relaxing as the water droplets rolled down his back to the wet shower floor. He didn't know how long he had been standing there, just enjoying the hot water, when he heard the bathroom door open and close, and the shower curtain being pulled back. He smiled when he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist and Dean's forehead leaning against his back.

"Morning," he mumbled against his back, kissing his way up to Castiel's shoulder and the back of his neck. Castiel shivered at the contact, turning around in Dean's arms.

"Hi," he breathed out, holding Dean's chin up and pulling his face in for a wet kiss. Dean didn't hesitate before kissing him back. He pushed Cas' back against the cold shower tiles, twisting his wet locks through his fingers as he kissed him, hard. "Good dream?" Castiel asked him with a little smirk, pulling away just a little to catch his breath.

"Great dream," Dean replied with a smirk of his own, his lips connecting with Castiel's neck, down his collarbones. "You were in it," he continued, glancing up a little at Cas as he continued to pepper his chest with hot, open-mouthed kisses. He trailed his way back up to the corner of Castiel's mouth, and pecked his lips ever so lightly. "And they were in it too," he whispered. Castiel let out a small, excited chuckle, flipping them around so that he had Dean pinned against the shower wall.

"We're paying for all this hot water, aren't we?" He said with a light chuckle. Dean grinned, hooking his fingers behind Castiel's neck and pulling him toward him, reattaching their lips in a kiss. Castiel slipped his tongue between Dean's pink lips, his fingers running up and down his chest. He brushed his index lightly over Dean's nipple, making the little boy let out a small moan which made him smirk in satisfaction. His hand continued to trail down Dean's torso as his lips nipped and sucked at the skin right above his collarbone, leaving a small, marking bruise behind. He stroked Dean's entrance lightly with his index, the younger boy's eyes shutting and his mouth gaping. He breathed heavily as Castiel's finger traced his entrance gently before pushing it inside in one swift movement. Dean took in a deep breath at the sensation, letting out a small moan in pleasure as Castiel started pushing his finger in and out at a steady rhythm, bending and relaxing his index. Without a warning, he added his middle finger, moving them at an agonisingly slow pace. He scissored his way between Dean's tight walls, Dean's gentle moans encouraging him further. The younger boy could feel Castiel's hardened member, rutting against his thigh. He pulled him in for a long, heavy kiss moaning into his mouth as he pulled at his hair. When Dean pulled away to catch his breath, Cas trailed his lips down his neck and shoulder, halting the movement of his fingers. He pulled them away then, and stood back, his breathing heavy, his chest heaving as he watched Dean, his head leaning against the wall, his wet hair matted against his forehead and the water from the shower-head running fast down his shoulders and torso. Castiel ran his tongue over his lips, waving his finger in the air as he motioned to Dean to turn.

"Turn around," he ordered and Dean complied without so much as a second thought. Castiel pushed him against the wall, wrapping his left arm around his waist to secure his position. He pushed Dean's legs wide open, running his fingers teasingly down his inner thigh. He didn't give Dean a chance to compose himself before he was alining himself with his entrance and thrusting forward. He pushed all the way through, feeling Dean's tight wall clenching around his hard cock. Castiel let out a heavy moan as Dean gasped at the new feeling of being filled. He had gotten used to the feeling, the discomfort becoming more pleasurable and the pain no longer present. He let out a soft whimper as Castiel started moving his hips, thrusting in and out steadily. The heavy pouring of steaming hot water over their heads drowned out the sound of their breathing and deep moans of love and satisfaction, the sound of their skin sliding against each other, their touches wet and slippery and electric, their names uttered in croaky whimpers.

Dean's hand slipped between his body and the wall, his fingers rolling around his cock, stroking himself at a matching pace along with Castiel's thrusts. He arched his back, letting out a loud curse as Castiel wrapped his fingers around Dean's shoulder, gripped him tight, his hips moving harder, his movements becoming sloppier. Dean pushed back, fucking himself against Castiel's cock, eager for more action, more contact between them. Cas pushed him by his shoulder flat against the wall, leaning his forehead against Dean's back.

"Ah, fuck, Cas, so good," Dean moaned incoherently, clenching his walls against Castiel's dick.

"Shit, Dean," Cas breath out, biting down on Dean's shoulder at the tight feeling around his member, feeling warmth building up all over his skin, a burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. Dean clenched his ass some more, causing Cas to groan and clinch his teeth harder against his skin, his grip around Dean's shoulder almost painful. But Dean was too engrossed by the heat of the moment to feel anything but pleasurable touches and satisfying fucks. "Shit, I'm gonna come," Cas moaned, thrusting faster and more carelessly, his movements becoming sloppier as he came to a close. Castiel halted his movement all together when Dean clench his tight walls, finally releasing his warm creamy load. Dean came only a short second later, staining the tiles and his abdomen.

Castiel's entire body relaxed, falling forward against Dean's body as pulled out and wrapped his arms tight around the boy's body, his load trailing down Dean's leg.

"So fucking good," Dean breathed out, turning around to face Cas.

"You are amazing," Cas replied, pulling his face closer to kiss him deeply. Dean let out a satisfied hum into the kiss, his lips turning up in a smile.

"We should probably get cleaned up and get breakfast," Dean said and Cas nodded in agreement, stepping back, making space for them to be able to shower this time. He grabbed the small bottle of shampoo and poured some in the palm of his hand. "Close your eyes," he told Dean, who did as he was told, while Castiel ran his fingers through Dean's wet locks, foaming up the lemon scented soap and rubbing it through every strand of his hair. He massaged his scalp gently, laughing when Dean's lips pulled up in a satisfied grin. "This feels heavenly. I should hire you as my professional shampooer and head massager, please," Dean started, only for some of the soap that was leaking from his hair onto his face to fall inside his open mouth. He grimaced, spitting out all the shampoo out of his mouth and onto the shower floor as Castiel laughed, shaking his head at him.

"You should probably remain quiet," Castiel retorted and Dean mocked him, making incoherent noises. Cas could tell that he was rolling his eyes, even with his eyelids closed. He then pushed him backwards so that the water was falling right over his head and ran his fingers through his hair, washing out all of the shampoo.

Dean then grabbed the bottle of shampoo and poured a little in the palm of his hand. "My turn," he smiled at Cas, finally able to open his eyes. Cas happily closed his eyes as Dean rubbed the shampoo through his hair, relaxing at the gentle touch of his nimble fingers massaging his dark hair.

They took turns soaping up their bodies and washing all the sweet scented foam out with water. Dean shut off the water when they were all done, running a quick hand through his wet hair, combing the strands back and off his forehead. He pushed back the shower curtain and grabbed two clean towels off the rail, handing one to Cas. He ran it quickly over his body before tying it around his waist and stepping outside, into the steamy bathroom. He moved to the sink, standing in front of the mirror and grabbed a smaller towel to wipe the water droplets that were dripping from his hair onto his face and ears. Cas joined his side with his towel wrapped around his waist and pressed a soft kiss on his shoulder as Dean dried his hair with the smaller towel. He raised his finger toward the fogged up mirror and messily traced the words "I love you" in the mist on the glass. Dean smiled, kissing Castiel's cheek. "I love you too," he whispered softly.

The pair took their time getting dressed, stealing kisses every time they passed around each other and sharing wide smiles. As Dean was pulling his shirt over his head though, Castiel stopped him, placing a gentle hand on his back. "Wait," he glanced at a red spot on Dean's shoulder, one that matched the size and shape of his right hand. "Did I- I did that," he frowned as he inspected the bruise further, tracing his fingers gently over it.

Dean turned hid head to glance at it and shrugged his shoulders. "I can't even feel it. It'll go away," he assured Cas who leaned forward to press a kiss over the bruise. "At least I'm marked as yours and only yours for now,@ Dean told him and Cas smiled at his words, kissing his cheek softly.

They were out of the inn and in the streets of the small town by eleven in the morning, having slept in and then taken their sweet, sweet time getting ready in the morning. They stopped at a small café, sitting at a small round table for two outside. They ordered their coffee and Dean ordered a stack of waffles with extra whipped cream; he was in an extremely good mood that morning. They drank their coffee and ate their breakfast in a comfortable silence, Castiel's blue eyes watching every passerby walking along the sidewalk. It was a Saturday morning, so children and their parents were milling the streets, mothers strolling by with their toddlers in their arms or running ahead of them with a ball at their feet, fathers holding their child's hand as they walked into the nearby ice cream shop, boyfriends holding open the car's door for their girlfriends as they made their way to the movie theatre for a date, husbands and wives walking hand in hand with no real place to be. He envied them, all those people who could hold their lover's hand in public without a single worry or fear. He itched to be able to reach across the table and place his hand in Dean's. He wanted to be able to show him affection in ways that were more than just playing footsies under the table and sharing a few adoring glances every few moments. But if he did reach for his hand and laced their fingers together, the manager of the café would most probably ask them to leave in a rather rude way, probably telling them something about not being able to serve men of their "kind", they would probably hear a few nasty remarks coming from the old couple sitting at the table right next to theirs while the entire street stared at them before the police would probably get involved when the young bully would decide to roughen them up solely for being queer. He had seen it all happen. There was nothing more dangerous than being out in front of the world, showing the world who he truly was. Dean would probably have been safer in the army where it was less likely that a bullet pierce his flesh than a man beating him up if he was seen staring at Cas in a way that was more than platonic.

Dean was long done with his waffle and he sat back in his seat, sipping quietly at his cup of coffee and watching Castiel's bright blue eyes following a young couple crossing the street, arm in arm.

"Hey," Dean started, kicking his shin lightly under the table. Cas snapped out of his daze and turned to look at Dean who smiled at him, his eyebrows furrowed. "What's on your mind, angel?"

Cas just shrugged his shoulders, holding his cup in both hands and taking a long sip of the hot coffee. He placed the cup in his lap, his eyes returning to the scenery before him. "Nothing," he sighed, averting his gaze to the mug of black coffee in his hands. "It's just- I really, really want to hold your hand right now, just hold your hand, and I can't do that." He spoke quietly, Dean had to strain to hear him. But he didn't complain, because he knew how dangerous it was for them if anyone were to hear them.

"It hurts, I know," he breathed out, his eyes softening as he stared at Castiel's saddened features. He reached below the table and placed his hand on Castiel's knee, squeezing it reassuringly before putting his hand back in his own lap.

They finished their coffee soon after and paid the bill. They walked a little longer around the town before making their way back to the inn. Cas and Dean got into the impala and they made their way down the short drive to the lake. The weather had become too cold to swim so it was empty, with only the birds in the tall trees to accompany them. Dean left the car on so that the radio could play while Cas grabbed a blanket that he had left in the trunk of the car and sprawled it on the soft ground under a tree. He kicked off his shoes and sat down with his back against the tree trunk. Dean smiled, joining him soon after. He sprawled down on the blanket, placing his head in Castiel's lap. He let his eyes close as Cas' fingers absentmindedly ran through his hair.

"I should probably get a haircut soon," Dean stated as Castiel's fingers brushed back through a long strand.

"I kinda like having something to grab on to," Castiel replied with a smirk, pulling intentionally at Dean's hair but making sure not to hurt him. Dean opened one eye to glare at him but it was no use pretending he didn't enjoy all those times in bed when Cas would pull him in for a kiss by his hair, or when he'd pull his head up harshly when he was sucking him hard.

"I won't cut it too short, then," he replied quietly before closing his eyes again and relaxing in Castiel's lap. He could feel Castiel's abdomen rumble as he laughed, his fingers going back to their gentle movements, brushing back Dean's hair and gently massaging his scalp.

Dean grinned when he heard the familiar guitar riff coming from the car stereo. "Not a coincidence," he mumbled, grabbing Cas' free hand from the blanket and interlacing their fingers together.

"Definitely not," Castiel chuckled and started singing along to the sweet lyrics of the rock Beatles hit.

" _Oh yeah, I'll tell you something,_  
 _I think you'll understand._  
 _When I say that something,_  
 _I want to hold your hand,"_ He sang softly and in key, holding Dean's hand tighter in his and squeezing it gently. Dean pulled his hand down to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss at the back of it as Castiel continued to sing along.

 _"And when I touch you I feel happy inside,"_ He continued to sing. Dean opened his eyes, gazing up through his lashes into Castiel's bright blue eyes glistening with the sun shining down on them. " _It's such a feeling that my love I can't hide,"_ he sang along with John Lennon and Paul McCartney when Dean suddenly sat up on his knees and leaned forward, connecting his lips with Castiel's ever so gently. Cas held his cheek in the palm of his hand, caressing his skin with the pad of his thumb as he kissed him slowly, without any rush or heat. It was a simple kiss, one that was filled with their love and adoration for each other. It was long, slow, and sweet, and Dean could feel his heart stumble and skip a few beats.

" _I love you,"_ He whispered into their kiss and Cas smiled, pecking the corner of his mouth.

"I love you too," he replied just as they heard wheels driving over the soil near them. They instantly sat away from each other, keeping their hands to themselves and their eyes staring straight ahead at the lake. The car stopped a few meters away from them, a little girl running out with her mom and grandma right behind her.

" _Claire, not so fast. You don't wanna fall in the water and catch a cold,"_ the little girl's mom called out after the daughter that ran around joyfully. The mother set up a few blankets on the ground, paying no attention to Cas and Dean. Dean got up then, their moment long gone. He walked around the impala aimlessly, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Cas leaned his head back against the tree and sighed as he tried to watched the running water stream peacefully, except he couldn't stop thinking of the boy standing before him and the soft skin of his lips against his chapped ones and the soft graze of his stubble against the palm of his hand as he ran a gentle thumb over the defined structure of his cheekbone and jaw.

Castiel watched the little girl that was now running between the trees, throwing a bouncing ball around. The mother had set up a small basket and a large flask on the blanket and was sitting back, reading a book while the grandma sat back in one of those foldable chairs and watched the birds in the trees with a pair of binoculars.

Dean had moved on to searching for rocks on the ground and trying to get them the skip as far as possible before falling with a satisfying plop sound. Dean stopped in his tracks as he was searching for another pebble when a small ball fell right beneath his shoe. He bent down to pick it up and handed it to the little blonde girl, staring at him with gaping eyes.

"Say thank you to the nice man, Claire," her mother called out and the little girl mumbled a shy "thank you," before walking away. Dean went on, filling his palm with a couple of pebbles, letting out a triumphant yell when one of them skipped so far that he could barely even see it when it had fallen into the water.

"Nice one," Castiel complimented his shot with a small smile. He was rather enjoying himself, watching Dean's back muscles contract and relax through his jacket as he twisted his body in the right angle as he threw the rocks into the bed of water. Dean was about to throw another one when he felt a pair of eyes watching him, a pair that did not belong to Cas. He turned around, his eyes falling on the eight year old blonde girl in pigtails. She was holding the ball in her hand tightly, hugging the tree trunk as she watched Dean skip rocks.

"Do you wanna try?" He asked her, sending her a friendly smile. Little Claire nodded her head shyly and released her grip from around the tree. She turned to glance at her mom and grandmother who gave her encouraging nods before walking hesitantly toward Dean. "I won't bite, I promise," Dean laughed and Castiel shot him a little, discrete smirk, causing Dean's cheeks to turn the slightest shade of pink.

" _What if I asked nicely?"_ Cas mouthed to him and Dean completely ignored him to avoid his cheeks turning any redder than they already were. He hated blushing, especially when they weren't alone.

Dean handed the little girl a small pebble instead and went on to demonstrate how to throw it. "So, you hold it between your fingers, like this." He helped her place the flat stone between her tiny thumb and middle finger, with her index finger holding it in place around the edge. "Now turn a little sideways, and stand up straight, and don't hold your hand too high, try to keep it low when you throw the rock."

Claire did as she was instructed and released the stone into the water as hard as her little  
body allowed her. It bounced once before plopping into the water. She pouted in disappointment, her shoulders slumping. "Can I try again?"

"Sure thing, kid," Dean smiled at her, handing her another stone. "That was a good first try. See, the secret to skipping rocks isn't about how hard your can throw it. It's more about how fast your throw it. The faster and lower your aim your throw, the more it'll bounce. Try to flick your wrist while you're doing it, like this." Dean grabbed a stone from the ground and stood in position, making sure she could see his every move, before releasing the stone in the water. It skipped about eight times before plopping into the water. "Now you try," he encouraged her and she nodded, trying her best to imitate him. She held her hand down, holding the stone tightly between her fingers, before finally releasing the stone with a quick flick of her wrist, the stone bouncing over the water a couple of times.

The mother and grandma cheered for her, clapping their hands as Cas and Dean congratulated her with words of encouragement.

"Hey, good job, sweetheart!" Her mom called out and little Claire was beaming up at Dean, her tongue poking through a little hole where she had probably recently lost a baby tooth.

"Nice one, kid," Dean gave her a high five which she hit enthusiastically. He spent the rest of the afternoon helping her find the right stones to throw across the water, playing friendly matches with her and letting her win every time. The mother had moved closer to them to keep an eye on her daughter and encourage her every time she threw the rock.

"He seems pretty good with children," the young blonde said, turning her attention to Castiel. He looked up at her from his spot on the ground and nodded.

"Yeah, he has a little brother whom he's practically taken care of his whole life, so," he explained and the woman smiled sympathetically at him.

"So you guys are-,"

"Cousins, we're cousins," he cut her off instantly, trying his best to keep a straight face through his lie. "Family road trip," he added, averting his gaze to the lake.

"Oh, so you're just visiting the town, then?" She asked, keeping the small talk going. She didn't seem to catch his lie, but if she had, she had chosen to completely ignore it.

"Yeah, we live up north of the state," he told her and she simply nodded in response.

"Well, I hope they're treating you well around here, we do know how to keep tourists happy, I suppose," she laughed and Castiel joined in, nodding his head.

"Yeah, everything's been lovely," he replied, his eyes watching Dean who was bending down to pick up another rock. He smiled fondly at the boy as memories of their morning shenanigans replayed in his head. "Really lovely," he repeated and the young mother smiled at him.

"That's good to hear. Well, we hope to see you in town again," she told him before standing up, dusting off her long skirt. "Claire, sweetheart, we should get back home before it gets dark and before your nan gets tired," she called out for her daughter. The girl threw her last rock before running back to her mother's side.

"Good kid you got there," Dean told her as he finally joined them. "Never gives up, and rightly so 'cause she's got everything it takes. You're a tough cracker, kiddo." He ruffled the little girl's hair and she giggled, hugging her mother's leg. Dean grinned, his mind going back to Sammy who would try to punch him every time he ruffled his hair. Goddamn moody teenager.

The family soon got in their car and drove off. It wasn't long after that Dean and Cas got in the impala and drove back into town. They sat quietly, soft music still playing in the back as the sun started to disappear, the dark night sky crawling in, unwanted. It only meant that they would be getting in their car the next day and drive back home to reality, and Dean didn't want any of it. He wanted to stay on vacation, away from everything and everyone, with only Cas by his side.

"Do you wanna stop for dinner?" Cas asked him and Dean chuckled at his ridiculous question.

"Do you even have to ask?"

"No, I do not," Cas laughed, knowing that Dean's answer would always be yes to that question no matter what. So they stopped at a small local diner, having a nice meal with dessert before driving back to the inn. It was already past midnight when they were both laying beneath the sheets, tangled in each other's arms with only the moon light shining through the window from behind the drapes.

"Goodnight, Dean," Castiel whispered, kissing his shoulder softly before nuzzling his neck.

"Night, baby," Dean mumbled back, cuddling up closer to his body for warmth and comfort.

 


	10. Chapter 10

_December, 1971_

Dean let out a heavy groan, slapping his head against the table in the library where he was trying to memorise paragraph after paragraph.

"Coffee break?" Charlie asked, as she stretched her arms in her seat opposite him.

"Coffee break," Dean agreed, closing the history book in front of him and stuffing it in his backpack. They both grabbed their bags and slung them over their shoulders as they made their way to the cafeteria to grab themselves some coffee and snacks.

Finals were right around the corner and Dean had spent every day doing nothing but stuffing his nose in books, trying his best not to fail.   
The pair got their large cups of coffee and Dean paired it with a Danish. As they made their way back to the library, Dean stopped midway and sat down on one of the benches outside.

"You okay?" Charlie asked with a small chuckle as she sat down besides him. Dean closed his eyes, holding his face up as the cool winter air fanned over his face.

"Yeah, just need some fresh air. I've been cooped up between that library and my apartment for so long, I'm literally rotting inside and out," he explained and took a slow sip of his coffee.

"Yeah, I know how you feel. Luna and I haven't slept together in like three days," Charlie complained and Dean groaned, his face grimacing.

"Charlie, I don't need to know all that," he complained and she only laughed at him.

"Don't act like you're a saint!"

"I'm not. You just make me very uncomfortable sometimes," he said as he took another bite form his pastry.

Charlie laughed at that, not feeling bad about it one bit. They sat quietly, enjoying their coffee and the scenery before then with the hustle and bustle of students and professors running around between buildings, until a thunder rumbled in the sky.

"It's gonna start raining soon," Charlie pointed out and Dean nodded, already standing up. He threw the wrapper for his pastry in the garbage bin and they walked back toward the building before it would start raining on them.

"Hey, uh, I'll join you in a few minutes, I just have to go somewhere first," Dean told her when they reached the building. Charlie seemed to understand what he meant and she nodded.

"Going to see Castiel?" She asked with a wiggle of her eyebrows. Dean rolled his eyes, but nodded anyway.

"Yeah, I'll only be a few minutes," he told her before turning the other way and jogging all the way to Castiel's office. As he stood in front of the wooden door, he contemplated whether to knock or just open the door, but when he heard muffled voices coming from the other side, he decided it would be better to knock. He wrapped his knuckled twice against the door and stood back with one hand in the pocket of his coat and the other holding his hot cup of coffee.

" _Just a second,"_ he heard Castiel's voice from the other side. He smiled unintentionally to himself and stood back as he waited for Cas to open the door or to ask him to come in. Just a few moments later, the door swung open and revealed Castiel standing besides another middle aged woman. Castiel's blue eyes fell on Dean's figure and they instantly brightened, a small grin appearing on his face. "Ah, Mr. Winchester, please, have a seat," he tried to be as subtle and normal as a professor would be and Dean would have almost laughed if the woman wasn't staring at him, watching his every move. He walked past the two of them and made his way to the two chairs in front of Cas' desk. "Thanks for stopping by, Naomi," he told the woman who only nodded curtly.

"Sure, Castiel," she replied coldly, fixing her blazer. "I didn't know you were raking theology, mr. Winchester," she turned to face Dean who was taken aback. But of course, he recognised her. She was the dean of students.

"Oh, yeah, it's a very interesting course," Dean lied smoothly, sending her a polite smile. She smiled back, except hers was very obviously fake.

"Certainly," she stated, clearing her throat. "Have a good day, Professor Novak, Mr. Winchester," she greeted them before leaving the office.

Once the coast was clear, Cas closed the door to his office, and made his way toward Dean who had made himself comfortable in the chairs and bent down so that he could reach his face, pressing his lips to his in a long kiss.

"Hi," Dean smiled into the kiss, placing his hands on Castiel's arms and trailing them up to find his hands, lacing their fingers together.

"Hi," Castiel breathed out, smiling back widely. "What are you doing here? I thought you were studying with Charlie today," he wondered and Dean shrugged his shoulders.

"I am, I just missed you. A lot," he replied and Castiel's grinned widened.

"You saw me last night," he retorted but couldn't stop himself from kissing his sweet Dean again.

"Yeah, but I had to leave early in the morning," he whined and Cas laughed, peppering his face with small pecks and kisses.

"Well, I won't lie. I missed you a lot too," he replied and Dean beamed up at him, pulling his face down to kiss him again. Their kiss deepened and Castiel melted into Dean, his fingers brushing his hair back. Dean had let it grow even longer, having gotten too busy to remember to cut as he had planned on doing, and, well, Castiel wasn't complaining. He pulled him up and pushed him against the desk, leaning him back. Cas hovered over him, and connected their lips again, kissing him passionately. His hands trailed under Dean's shirt, tracing his abs with his fingertips.

"Naughty, professor Novak," Dean whispered making Cas cackle as his head fell back.

"I kinda like that," he said and Dean raised an eyebrow at him.

"Professor Novak?" He questioned experimentally and Castiel smirked, nodding slowly, his eyes suddenly turning a shade darker.

"I really like that," he whispered, his voice a little hoarse. Dean pulled him back down, their faces only inches apart.

"Kiss me, then, professor," he taunted him with his quiet, hoarse voice and Castiel didn't wait a single second before he leaned back in to devour him in a heated kiss.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's neck, pulling him as close to himself as possible as he kissed him back passionately, a small smirk playing on his lips. Cas moved from his lips to his neck, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses on his smooth skin.

"I have a lot of work," he stated between two kisses, trailing his lips up, behind Dean's ear.

"Me too," the boy breathed out, chewing down on his lower lip as Cas caught his earlobe between his teeth, pulling it teasingly.

"We should probably get back to work," Cas continued, with no intention of stopping his devilish work around Dean's ear, letting his tongue twirl around his sensitive area. Dean sucked in a heavy breath, feeling his stomach twist.

"Probably," he replied, his voice quivering. He grabbed Cas' face in his hands and pulling it up so that he could meet his eyes. "But I want you to fuck me right here, on your desk first," Dean told Castiel without any shyness or hesitance. " _Professor Novak."_

"Fucking hell, Dean," Cas growled, grabbing Dean by his hair and pulling his head back against the mahogany table, teeth grazing against the skin of his neck. Dean hissed as Castiel's teeth sunk into his skin, his lips sucking in the flesh. He felt the blood rush to the sore spot, biting down on his lip to avoid moaning loudly. Castiel's tongue lapped over the same spot, soothing the forming bruise. "God, you really know how to turn on a guy at the worst possible moments, huh," Castiel whispered in a growl as Dean sent him his boyish, crooked grin.

"It's my specialty," he replied cockily only for Cas to smirk, and shake his head, standing up straight to gaze down at the disheveled boy laying on his desk.

"Well, how about this: I'm gonna fuck that arrogant grin right off your face, and maybe teach you a lesson or two," Castiel stated and Dean's smirk instantly dropped, his expression replaced by a more serious one.

"Like a real professor would," he replied and Cas chuckled to himself, walking around the desk. He turned to the window closing the drapes to make sure no one could see them and proceeded to sit down in his chair instead of going back to Dean. Dean sat up, watching him in confusion, only for Cas to motion for him to come closer with his finger. "C'mere," he whispered and Dean got off the table and walked right over to Cas who pushed his chair back to make more space for the two of them. Cas ran his hands up and down Dean's arms, caressing them softly and stopped after a few moments at his shoulders. He pushed down lightly, and Dean understood, getting down on his knees. He went to work, grabbing Castiel's belt and unhooking it, before loosening up the zipper and unbuttoning his trousers. He pulled them down to his knees, along with his shorts, Castiel's already semi-hard cock popping out. Dean wrapped his fingers around Cas' length, stroking is slowly. He gave it a few gentle pull, feeling the blood rushing to Castiel's dick as it began to harden to its full girth. He then looked up, meeting Castiel's eyes who were staring back at him, dark and filled with lust. Castiel gave him a small nod and Dean went ahead, wrapping his lips around the tip of Cas' member. He bobbed his head, progressively taking more of Castiel's length in his mouth. Cas held him by the hair, brushing the strands back, off his forehead as Dean sucked him, using his tongue and placing it flat against his base. He licked a strip all the way up to the head, teasing his slit before taking him back in his mouth, sucking in his cheeks. Cas tried to hold in his moans but when Dean sat up and leaned his head forward, swallowing all of his length, taking him all in, he couldn't help the small sounds of pleasure that escaped his throat. He thrusted his hips forward, his cock hitting the back of Dean's throat, the younger boy gagging a little, but he didn't back down, determined to give the professor as much pleasure as he could. "Shit, Dean-," he started but his groans were interrupted by a quick knock on the door. " _Shit,"_ he whispered, Dean pulling back instantly.

"Professor Novak, I've got those papers you asked for," a girl's voice came from behind the door.

"Fuck," he spat, running his fingers through his hair. He turned to Dean then, pointing under the table, and Dean moved fast, hiding between Castiel's legs and the desk which was thankfully closed from the other side, keeping Dean hidden from anyone standing before the desk. Cas pushed his chair forward, making sure that Dean was out of sight. "Come in," he called out and the door opened a few seconds later, a young student walking in. "Right, Angela, if you could just place them on the cabinet by the door, that would be gre-," he stopped when he suddenly felt Dean's lips on his member again. He tried to keep a straight face as he figured out exactly what Dean was doing, but it was really hard not to moan or make a face when Dean sucked and blew on his cock. "That would be great," he finished his sentence, giving the girl his best smile.

Her face was in a small frown as she had clearly noticed something very off with Castiel, the tension in the room quite thick. Little did she know that it was an incredibly thick sexual tension. She walked over to the filing cabinet by the door and placed the papers on top of if.

"I actually had a few questions about the final-," Angela started but Cas cut her off faster than his heart was beating in that exact moment as Dean was relentlessly working around his cock.

"Hmm, uh, _dammit,"_ he breathed out as quietly as possible. "Actually, Angela, erm, if you could- if you could pass by in an hour or tomorrow morning, you would have my full attention then!" He told her, his voice quaking with every stroke of Dean's tongue.

"Okay..." She replied, noticing just how weird he was acting. "Are you okay, sir?" She asked him and he could only give her two thumbs up.

"Yeah, uhu, just- just really swamped with work," he told her, releasing a heavy breath when Dean finally pulled back, his dew days old stubble grazing against his inner thigh. He was definitely going to have thigh burns from that wonderful stubble, but right now, all he could think about was Angela leaving his office.

"Okay, then... I'll be back in an hour?" She made sure and Cas only nodded, looking down at a paper on his desk, pretending it was the most important thing ever written. The girl took that as her cue to leave, and she walked out with a weirded-out look on her face, closing the door behind her. As soon as she was gone, Cas pushed back his chair, looking down at Dean with wild eyes.

"I- God, are you fucking insane?" he whisper-shouted and Dean only laughed as he got out from under the table.

"Don't pretend you didn't find that extremely hot," Dean replied instead and Cas only glared at him because, well, he was right. The adrenaline and fear of being caught only turned him on even more. His cock was already leaking with precum.

"On the desk, now," he ordered Dean, getting up and making his way to the door, locking it properly. He turned back around, walking over to Dean who was unbuckling his pants and pulling them all the way down to his ankles. Cas stepped behind him, turning him around and bending him over in one swift movement. He pushed his face against the hard surface,  
his fingers hooking in the strands of his hair. Cas then placed his index and middle finger on Dean's lips and Dean opened his mouth, taking them in and sucking on them, leaving them hot and moist. He pulled his fingers back after a few moments and teased Dean's entrance before shoving them both inside without a warning. Dean let out a small gasp, shutting his eyes closed. "Try and keep quiet," Castiel ordered and Dean bit down on his lip to avoid letting go of any unwanted loud moans. Cas finger-fucked Dean, forgetting all about starting gentle and scissored and hooked his fingers inside, making Dean's body shake with waves of pleasure. Cas pulled them out after a fee thrusts and Dean clenched his walls at the feeling of emptiness, desperate for more. Without any other notice, Cas pushed his member all the way in, and Dean couldn't help the small cry the escaped his mouth.

" _Shhh,"_ Castiel whispered in his ear, leaning forward so that his chest was against Dean's back. He bit the tip of Dean's ear and trailed his tongue downward, leaving a teasing wet strip down Dean's neck. He kissed the back of his neck, right below his hairline before finally pulling back and placing his hands on Dean's waist, holding him in place. He started thrusting into Dean's tight heat, at a slow, steady pace at first, before going faster and harder, hitting him at just the right spot repeatedly deep inside. He twisted his hips, his hand pushing Dean lower against the desk from his lower back, while the other one wrapped around him and found his hard cock. He pumped him as he thrusted into him over and over again, Dean's breathing becoming heavier as he fought hard not to moan. It wasn't long before he was feeling himself close to the edge, feeling that pit in his stomach. He pulled out of Dean and turned him around, pushing him back down to his knees. Dean fell, his legs left wobbly and steadied himself, placing his hands behind Castiel's thighs. He took him in his mouth, his hand finding his own member to stroke, and as he came hard all over the carpeted floor, Castiel let go, shooting his load down Dean's throat. The boy swallowed every last bit, sucking him dry before finally pulling away, his head falling back against the leg of the table. He closed his eyes trying to regain his breath as as Cas fell back in his chair, his own breathing shallow.

"Professor Novak, you can fuck me like that any time you like," Dean spoke up, breaking their silence and they both laughed at his comment. Dean stood up, feeling like he was standing on a surfboard. He pulled his pants up and tried his best to look presentable, brushing his fingers back through his messy hair.

"I plan on it," Castiel replied as he pulled his pants up as well. He grabbed a tissue paper and dabbed it on the semen that had dripped on the carpet, wiping it to the best of his abilities and threw it in the garbage. He would probably have to send it to a special carpet cleaning service during the winter break. With a quick kiss goodbye, they parted ways, with Dean making his way to the library and Castiel going back to working and meeting with his actual students who did really need his help. As soon as Dean was next to Charlie, he asked her to shut up before she had even started speaking, knowing that she had probably figured out why he had been gone for a little over an hour instead of the couple of minutes he had promised her. Dean went back to focusing on studying for his finals the next week.

He spent the rest of his days cooped up in his apartment, only leaving whenever he needed a specific book from the library or when he had to study with Luna and Charlie. Cas made his way over at the end of every day, bringing food with him every single time because he knew that if he didn't feed Dean, no one would. As much as that boy loved food, he was too determined to pass that he would have survived the week solely on corn flakes and cheese sandwiches and the occasional candy bar.

The next Friday was his very last final, the math exam. He walked in, half dead with only a cup of coffee as his support. He finished the exam with only a minute to spare and him and Charlie walked out by the end of it overly excited and drained at the same time. Charlie gave him a high five, squealing loudly.

"Dude! We actually survived the first semester of college!" She yelled and Dean laughed as they walked down the hall and exited the building.

"We really did," he nodded his head. "And now I can't wait to fricken sleep!"

"Oh, me too, you can nap all you want but I'll be over at 8 to pick you up. We're going to party. HARD!" She told him but when Dean tried to complain she walked away, refusing to hear any of it.

"WE'RE GETTING DRUNK! END OF DISCUSSION!"

And as much as Dean wanted to just go home and sleep for an entire week, he couldn't refuse the idea of getting incredibly hammered. He went to his apartment then and as soon as his head landed on the pillow, he crashed, going into deep sleep. When he woke up, it was already dark outside and Castiel was laying beside him in bed, sitting sideways with his head propped up on his hand, watching Dean peacefully.

"When did you get here?" Dean asked him softly, coughing to clear his throat from the sleepy heaviness in his voice.

"A little less than an hour ago, I didn't want to wake you, you really earned that nap," Cas told him and Dean smiled, curling up against his warm body, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Charlie wants us to go to a party tonight," he informed Cas, who smiled and nodded in response.

"You have to go, Dean. You just finished your last final, and your first college semester. Go have fun! Just don't get caught drunk," he told him and Dean laughed into his chest.

"Me? Drunk? Never!" He joked and Cas laughed, stroking his hair back.

"I'll wait for you to come back and then we could make love, right here, all night long," he whispered and Dean smirked, brushing his lips against Castiel's and pushed him back. He climbed on top of him, leaning in so close that any movement would cause their lips to crash.

"We could start right now," Dean whispered. and as if on cue, there was a knock on the door, followed by Charlie's voice.

"OPEN UP! WE'RE PARTYING IN T-20 minutes!" She called out from behind the door and Dean groaned, burying his face in Castiel's neck.

"Go ahead," Cas laughed, rubbing hid back comfortingly. "I'll be right here waiting when you get back," Cas reassured him and Dean sighed, pecking his lips and sliding off the bed. He slipped his feet in his shoes and grabbed his jacket that was slung over the back of his couch. Dean then walked over to the door and swung it open, revealing an overly enthusiastic Charlie and a very tired Luna. Jo was standing behind them with a bored look on her face.

"What's taking you so long, grandpa? Let's go!" Jo sassed him with a roll of her eyes as she turned back around to walk down the stairs. "And we're taking my car, if I come back home drunk mom'll kill me and all of you," she called as she started trudging down the stairs, her keys twirling in her hands.

"C'mon, Deano," Charlie said in a sing-song voice, grabbing his arm and pulling him outside.

"Pray for me," he turned to Cas who only laughed and waved at him. Dean closed the door behind him as Charlie dragged him down to the building's lobby and out on the street. The four of them jumped into Jo's car and drove to the house party they were going to. Dean didn't even know the kid who was throwing the party but he assumed, well, hoped, that Charlie did. They picked up Garth on their way and Jo parked all the way up the the street behind a line of cars. It was loud in that house, rock music playing from stereos. Dean felt he was at a Rolling Stones concert as Mick Jagger's muffled voice rang through the streets, coming from inside the big house. They walked inside and it was fair to say that Dean knew he wasn't coming out of there sober. Thank God for Jo and her common sense, who would be able to drop them all off at the end of the night. Dean had shot after shot and after a few drinks, everyone around him was actually fun, even good old Garth. He was kinda growing on him. But he couldn't help his mind going back to Cas waiting for him at home and every time he thought of him, he would smile.

"You havin' fun?" Charlie asked him and he only shrugged, pretending to play it off cool but the truth was that he was having fun with his friends and his best friend, whatever the hell was in his red plastic cup.

Meanwhile, Cas was sitting on Dean's couch, playing Pink Floyd's Ummagumma record at a low volume as he corrected his students' finals, with nothing else better to do. By ten p.m., he had gotten hungrier and knowing Dean would probably be back starving, he grabbed his keys and his coat and walked down the street to the little pizza house round the corner. He ordered two large cheese pizzas and tipped the server before making his way back to Dean's apartment. He held the two boxes in one hand and fished the keys to the apartment with the other from the pocket of his trousers as he climbed up the stairs two at a time. When he reached Dean's floor, he almost tripped over a young boy's leg who was sitting with his head laying against the staircase's rusty metal railing.

"Sorry about that," he apologised to the kid who didn't even raise his head. His face was hidden behind the hood of his clearly oversized jacket covering his head. He stepped back to take a proper look at him. From his height and lankiness, he would have given 14 years old tops. "Are you okay, kid?" He asked him and the teen only shrugged his shoulders.

"Just waitin' for my brother," he mumbled without raising his head. His voice was croaky and a little shaky and Castiel could tell that the kid had evidently been crying earlier.   
Cas wanted to help the kid but the pizza boxes were getting heavier so he walked over to the apartment door to put them inside first. He put the key in and unlocked the door.

"Wait, you live here?"

Cas turned around only to find the kid standing up right behind him. He furrowed his eyebrows at him as he got the keys out and pushed the door open wider.

"Kind of...," he replied, not really sure how to explain his situation with Dean. I mean, he did spend half the nights over whenever Dean couldn't make it to his place, and he did have a few items of clothing laying around Dean's house, ones that the boy had laundered and folded neatly in his own closet.

"Oh," the boy sounded rather disappointed. "I thought- I think I have the wrong apartment..." he spoke, more to himself than Cas. Cas placed the boxes of pizza on top of the cabinet where Dean placed his records and wiped his hands with his pants as he took a better look at the boy. He could see his face better with the light coming in from the inside of the apartment but it was still hidden behind his hood.

"Did you say your brother lived here?" Castiel asked him, his eyebrows furrowing as his thoughts started racing, trying to comprehend the boy.

"Yeah, I remember him telling me 4C but maybe I remember it wrong," the kid explained.

A realisation came to Cas and he really hoped he was wrong because if he was right, then it couldn't possibly mean anything good.

"Sam?" Castiel asked him and the boy's eyes widened when he heard his name.

"How do you know my name?" He asked him through gritted teeth, suddenly alert.

"Dean- I'm a friend of Dean's. My name's Cas- Castiel," he started, holding his hands up in defence. "I'm Castiel- wait, Dean didn't say you were coming..." he realised and Sam's head fell.

"That's because he doesn't know I'm here yet," Sam muttered, stuffing his fists in the pockets of his jacket.

"Alright... Let's get you inside, then," Cas sighed walking into the apartment and closing the door behind Sam. He grabbed the two boxes of pizza and placed them on the coffee table in front of the couch. As he was taking off his coat, he turned back around to Sam who was looking around the small apartment, associating it with his brother. "Are you hungry?" He asked him, throwing his coat on the back of the couch. He had to get Dean a coat hanger. Their clothes were always left sprawled all over the furniture. "The pizza's really good," he told him and Sam turned his attention back to Cas, nodding his head a little.

He walked over to the couch and sat down,  
opening the pizza box and didn't even hesitate before taking a piece and devouring it. Cas chuckled to himself, walking over to the fridge and grabbing two cans of soda. There was no doubt in his mind that the kid was Dean's brother. The proof was in their similar eating habits. He sat down next to Sam who pushed back his hoodie getting more comfortable as he took the can from Cas and opened it, taking a long sip.

Cas turned to him, wanting to ask him how he got here, but he took his chance to take a good look at Sam's face. His features were still soft and there was still a spark of innocence in his green eyes, similar to Dean's but much, much younger. He could the scarring behind his green orbs, but the boy still had some of that childhood innocence that Dean had lost long ago; he doubted that he even had any at some point in his life.

"You're staring at me," Sam pointed out with his mouth full, turning around to face Cas with a defying look on his face. Such a teenager. But It wasn't what took him by surprise. No, it was the large black bruise around his right eye and cheekbone. Castiel grabbed his face between his fingers, gently not to hurt him further and turned it to him to inspect the big bruise. "Dude, what the hell?" Sam tried to pull back but there was a frown on Castiel's face, understanding just how bad this was.

"You need to get that bruise checked out, it doesn't look good," Cas explained, already on his feet and walking toward the freezer. He grabbed a bag of ice which was the only thing in Dean's freezer anyway and walked bag over to Sam, handing it to him. "Keep that on your eye, it'll help with the swelling," he told him and Sam did as he was told quietly. It was then that Cas noticed the few drops of blood on Sam's t-shirt and his bruised lip. His stomach churned at the realisation that this boy was just put through hell, and that his brother had probably gone through it and worst before him.

Sam winced at the cold pack as he held it against the right side of his face and ate the rest of his pizza quietly. When he was done, he laid back against the couch and Cas just sat there, staring at him. "So what are you, like a doctor or something?" he asked him and Cas shook his head.

"No, uh, I teach," he told him. He wasn't sure exactly what Dean had informed Sam about, he didn't even think that he had mentioned him at all so he didn't to say anything that Dean would rather tell him himself.

"What do you teach?" Sam asked, trying to figure out everything about this guy who apparently knew everything about him already.

"Theology," Cas replied and Sam nodded, furrowing his eyebrows at him.

"How old are you?" he asked and Cas chuckled. Sam probably thought it was weird that Dean was friends with someone who was old enough to be a teacher.

"28," he replied and Sam's mouth turned in an O shape, nodding his head. "Yes, I'm old, you don't have to say it," Cas interjected him before he could even speak.

"Hey, I wasn't gonna!" He defended himself.

"But you were thinking it," he pointed out and Sam shrugged, without replying because it was true.

It was quiet for a few moments until Sam broke the silence again. "So you're Cas, huh?" he wondered, putting Cas in an awkward position. He knew that Dean had made Sam believe that he was in a relationship with a girl named Cas. Well, it was more like Sam assumed and Dean couldn't find a way to make him think otherwise. So, he didn't how to approach the situation.

"It's just Castiel," he told him and Sam nodded, a little frown settling on his face.

"Dean has a girlfriend named Cas too, though, doesn't he?"

"I don't know, he didn't tell me about that," Cas lied. "You ask a lot of questions, don't you?" he retorted and Sam only shrugged, smiling a little.

"Do you live here with Dean? You said kind of before, but he doesn't even have space for himself, let alone a roommate-,"

"Look, Sam, Dean's gonna be home soon from this party that he's at, you can ask him all the questions later, after he's done worrying about you being here by yourself," Cas told him with a heavy sigh, getting up and throwing the empty pizza box in the garbage. He put the other one in the fridge and grabbed himself a bottle of beer. Man, he needed it.

"Okay, fine," Sam chuckled, keeping the questions to himself after that to Castiel's relief. It's not that he didn't want to answer him, it's just that he wasn't sure how. It was best to leave it all to Dean so as to not confuse the boy further and possibly ruin things for the Winchester boys.

By midnight, Sam was getting too tired so Cas let him use the shower and handed him some of his clothes that he had kept over at Dean's. The boy was skin and bones that Dean's clothes would have been too big. His own were a much better fit.

The fact that Sam had dropped everything and travelled across states to get to Dean without anything on him, not even a backpack, worried Castiel. He was clearly in trouble.

Sam jumped in Dean's bed and Castiel turned off the lights to let him sleep. He returned to correcting his students' finals under a small lamp but he couldn't focus, his mind wondering what the boy must have gone through to run away from home, all the way from Kansas to Texas.

At almost half past one in the morning, he heard a pair of heavy footsteps walking up the building's stairs and a few seconds later the door was swung open and closed, Dean's heavy booted footsteps walking inside. He grinned in the dark, his eyes falling on Castiel's figure sitting on the couch and he walked over to him, flopping besides him.

"Hi," he whispered, a little giggle escaping his lips as he leaned in and kissed Cas on the cheek.

"Hey, Dean," Castiel replied quietly, smiling a little at him. He was clearly hammered, the smell of booze heavy on his jacket whose sleeve was wet. "Did you get booze all over yourself?" he asked him with a chuckle and Dean nodded.

"I got drunk, my clothes are drunk, Charlie's veeeeery drunk, Garth puked, again. It was great," he laughed, his voice a little loud and Castiel tried to shush him, keeping him quiet to avoid waking Sam up.

"Hey, Dean-," he started but the younger boy was already nuzzling his neck trying to kiss him.

"I didn't forget your promise," Dean told him and Cas smiled but he still held him by the shoulders and pushed him back. Dean then noticed something off and he frowned, looking at Cas. "What's wrong?"

"Dean," Cas started, letting out a sigh. He didn't know how to tell him. He stood up, pacing around the room with his hands on his waist. Dean wobbled up as well, when his eyes landed on the figure in his bed.

"There's someone in my bed. Cas, someone's sleeping in my bed. In my spot! That's my spot," he whined rather loudly and Cas tried to shush him again. "Are you- did you do something naughty while I was gone?" Dean jokes, letting out a small laugh as he hiccuped.

"No, Dean- Gosh, you're so drunk," he let out a heavy breath, holding Dean by the shoulders to keep his focus on him. "Dean, it's Sam."

"Sam? You did something naughty with someone named Sam?" Dean continued along with the joke, but Cas didn't much patience, his worry taking over.

"Dean," he said through gritted teeth. "That's Sam. Your brother, Sam."

Dean's smile suddenly fell, replaced by a frown and his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to understand what Cas was telling him. "No, Sammy's in Lawrence, Cas, what are you talking about?"

"Dean, I'm sorry, but I found Sam sitting in the staircase outside and he was waiting for you. He's- he was hurt-,"

"What?" He spat angrily, stomping over to his bed only to find Sam sound asleep in his bed. He slowed down, trying to remain quiet then so as to not wake him up.

"I'm sorry, Dean," Cas whispered, placing a comforting hand on his back. "I tried to make him as comfortable as possible till you came back, but he was tired so I gave him some clothes to change into and he went straight to bed," Cas explained, feeling the tension in Dean's muscles under his hand. Dean sat down gently at the foot of his bed, staring at Sam in the dark sound asleep. It hurt Cas, seeing the look on Dean's face. "Let's get you in the shower, yeah? It won't help anyone, sitting here and sulking," Cas told him and Dean nodded, letting him pull him up and into the bathroom. When Dean was standing under the warm water, Cas went back to grab him some clean clothes and placed them on the towel rack for Dean before making his way back out and closing the door behind him. He changed into his own pair of pyjama bottoms and shrugged on an old sweater and waited for Dean to finish his shower. When he heard the bathroom door swing open, he turned from his spot on the couch to face Dean who was slipping on his favourite black t-shirt to sleep in that had the rolling stones' logo on it.

"There's pizza in the fridge if you're hungry," he told him but Dean wasn't focused on him. He was too engrossed by the young boy was now sitting up straight in his bed.

"Sammy," he breathed out in disbelief and Sam was already out of bed and attacking his brother in a tight hug. Dean hugged him back tightly, burying his face in Sam's long hair.

"Dean!" He cried out happily. "I missed you so much," he exclaimed and Dean smiled, kissing the top of his brother's head.

"I missed you too, Sammy," he replied pulling away from their hug to ruffle his hair. "And you need a haircut," he told him. Sam laughed, pointing at Dean's own hair.

"So do you, jerk. You never let your hair grow that long though," Sam pointed out in confusion and Dean only grinned, glancing at Cas for a second before turning back to his brother.

"I'll cut it in spring or somethin'," he told him with a laugh. "C'mere." He pulled him back in for another tight hug, patting his back. "How did you get here? Dad-,"

"He's not here. I- got on the first bus leaving Lawrence yesterday, stopped in Oklahoma. Then I hitched a few rides till I got here," he explained and Dean ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"Are you crazy? Do you know how dangerous- Sam, you couldn't even call?"

"I would've but I didn't have any money on me. I used it all on the bus fair and some food."

Dean was about to call him out on his stupidity when his eyes fell on his swollen eye, the dark bruise protruding in the dark room. "Did he do it?"

"Dean, it's not-,"

"He punched you? He fucking punched you- fucking- " Dean turned around, his fist coming into contact with the wall, hard, but he didn't care. He couldn't even feel it, probably due to the alcohol still in his system.

"Dean," Cas interjected, walking over to him. He took his hand to check on his knuckled which were already bleeding. "God, you're so reckless," he breathed out, grabbing a towel and pressing it over his knuckles.

"It's my fault, Cas. It's all my fault," Dean muttered and Sam rolled his eyes at him.

"It's not your fault, Dean. It's not my fault either. It's all dad. He was drunk and he was pissed off because I came home late and woke him up," Sam explained and Dean grip tightened around the towel in his hand.

"What, so he fucking punches you? It's not right, Sammy! I should've been there, I should've been there to stop him."

"You know he wouldn't have stopped!" Sam yelled back.

"Yeah, well, at least I would've taken the punch, Sam. Not you!" Dean yelled angrily, kicking the foot of the bed aggressively before sitting down on the mattress. "I thought- I thought if I left, you'd be safe. He'd never raise his hand on you. Not you. But I was wrong and-"

"Dean, if you hadn't left for college, you'd be in Vietnam right now doing God knows what, you'd probably even be dead right now, at least you're still here. I still have you," Sam tried to ration with him but Dean wasn't hearing any of it.

"I could've stayed in Lawrence, or Kansas. I could've gone to college and stayed there with you," he murmured.

"Don't you get it, Dean? You got out. You're living your best life out here, and I don't blame you. I'm so relieved that you got out. If you had stayed Dean, you wouldn't have been happy! You'd have taken a beating from dad every single damn day. And you probably wouldn't have met that Cas girl you love so much!"

Dean turned to face Cas then, his upset eyes wide, and his face scared, scared and worried about Sammy, his innocent little brother Sammy who was hurt.

"Sam..." Dean started but Sam shook his head.

"It's okay, Dean. I'm okay, I promise. And I'm here now, aren't I? We can spend Christmas here. Maybe even with uncle Bobby and Ellen."

"We can go visit Harvell's Roadhouse tomorrow if you want," Dean suggested and Sam's eyes brightened, nodding his head enthusiastically in agreement.

Dean sighed, running a tired hand over his face as Sam joined him in bed again. "Alright, go to sleep now, Sammy. We'll figure this all out tomorrow." Sam nodded, jumping back under the covers. He fell back asleep soon after and Dean sat down on the couch with Cas, his mind racing that he couldn't possibly get any sleep that night anyway.

"I'll have to sleep on the couch. Sammy can take the bed," Dean started quietly, trying to make sleeping arrangements. His apartment was not made to fit two people.

"If you want, you know my house is big. Sam can take the guest room for now, until you figure everything out," Cas suggested, taking Dean's bruised hand in his, running a gentle finger over his knuckles which had thankfully stopped bleeding.

"I don't want to trouble you," he whispered back, shaking his head buy Cas rolled his eyes at him in response.

"You practically already live there anyway, half your clothes and records are over at my place. And Sam's your family, which means he's mine too. You can't possibly stay cooped up in this room. I know you'll say you're comfortable on the couch, but I also know you, and I know how much you love my bed... our bed," he whispered in his ear, kissing his temple softly and Dean smiled, lacing his fingers with Castiel's tight.

"I just need to tell him about us first... I don't know how he's gonna take it," Dean said, his smile falling as he thought of Sam hating him even more than his dad for being honest with him about who he was.

"It'll be okay, I promise," Cas reassured him and Dean nodded, his mind going over the multiple possibilities of Sam's reaction.

 


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning, Sam woke up to the smell of fried eggs and bacon, courtesy of Cas being kind enough to cook for the boys. He left right before Sam had woken up though, going back home to get a change of clothes and finish his work so that he could have the rest of the winter break free.

The teen practically devoured his plate, barely even leaving any crumbs. He drank his orange juice in a single gulp and deposited the glass on the table, a satisfied smile on his face when he was full.

"How's your eye?" Dean asked him, putting a thumb under his bruise to inspect it which had darkened overnight. Sam winced a little and Dean pulled his hand away instantly.

"It's a little better, I think. Doesn't hurt as much, anyway," he reassured his older brother who nodded his head, his eyebrows still furrowed in concern. "So where's that nice friend of yours, Castiel?"

"He went back home," Dean told him, taking a sip of his juice. "Speaking of, this place, it's a little too cramped, don't you think?"

"I mean, I wasn't gonna say anything, but," Sam raised a teasing eyebrow at his older brother who rolled his eyes at his sassiness.

"Shut up. As I was saying, Castiel's place is much bigger, and he's got a guest bedroom. We can crash there until we figure out this whole situation, I mean, only if you're comfortable with that," Dean told him and Sam nodded, as he thought it over.

"Does he have a television and a big bed?" Sam asked and Dean chuckled, nodding his head.

"He's got a TV, yeah, and the bed's definitely larger than this old one," he pointed at his bed and Sam laughed, nodding his head.

"Alright, yeah, sounds like a plan," he agreed and Dean smiled, finishing his breakfast.

"So, I have to head to work today, till 4 p.m., and you can stay here or come with, or I can drop you off at the Roadhouse, I was gonna go there tonight anyway," Dean told him and Sam nodded as he got up from the table and made his way to the fridge to get himself some more juice.

"Can I stick with you today? I really wanna see what a day in the life of Dean Winchester: Texas Edition is like!" Sam replied as he poured the juice into his glass and Dean laughed, shaking his head.

"It's not all that interesting. He fixes a few cars, eats a burger, has a beer sometimes then he spends time with C- his friends," he almost slipped up but recovered, pretending to seem arrogant, talking about himself in the third person.

"I know you were gonna say Cas! When can I meet her?" Sam asked excitedly and Dean pushed his chair back, getting up and walking to his closet.

"Never," he replied only for Sam to roll his eyes.

"You suck," he said and Dean laughed, grabbing his work overalls.

"You have no idea, kid," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head. "You should get dressed if you wanna head down to the garage with me," he told him, speaking louder so that he could hear him.

"I don't actually have clothes, you know," Sam responded and Dean stopped in his tracks to look at his brother in a white short sleeved t-shirt that was little big on him and a pair of pyjama pants that were thankfully not too loose because of his long legs. He recognised as the pair of pyjamas Cas had left in his closet.

"Just wear the clothes you were wearing yesterday and I'll take you shopping after work, sounds good?" He told him and Sam shrugged, grabbing the clothes from the corner on the floor and pushing past Dean to the bathroom to get dressed.

They piled up in the impala twenty minutes later and Dean turned on the radio as he drove to Mr. Rogers's garage. He parked right outside in the driveway and Sam followed him into the small shop.

"Mornin' mr. Rogers," Dean greeted the old man sitting behind his desk, drinking a cup of black coffee.

"Deano, how are you?" He greeted him back and raised a questioning eyebrow at Sam who stood back awkwardly.

"Great! This is my baby brother Sam," he introduced his brother and Sam mumbled a small hi, shaking the old man's hand.

"Good to meet you, son," he told him, sending him a polite smile. "You good with cars too?" He asked him and Sam chuckled, shaking his head.

"Not as good as Dean, sir," he replied, patting his brother on the back.

"Sure, Dean here is the car-whisperer," the old man laughed, standing up to give Dean a big pat on the shoulder as he made his way past him to grab the agenda for the day. "There's a few cars I need you to check with, and then you can get off early today. It's a slow day today, anyway. Jim'll be in later to help out," he told him and Dean nodded, sending him a grin.

"Alright, sounds good," he replied, taking the notebook from him to check out which cars needed fixing.

He went on to fix a few motors and batteries, replacing the oil in a few cars and making them all as good as new. Sam hovered over his shoulder the entire time as Dean told him every thing he was doing out loud, trying to teach him every thing he knew. He even let him try to get a car to start up again. And when Mr. Rogers wasn't looking, he even went on to teach Sam how to hot wire a car. It's not like he would ever need to do it, but he just thought it would be fun for the kid to know the trick. And Sam seemed overly happy about learning it.

"I can steal the impala whenever I want to, now," he joked and Dean glared at him.

"Do not touch my baby. And besides, you can't even drive!"

"I can totally drive!" Sam shot back and Dean raised a defying eyebrow at him.

"Yeah? Who taught you?"

"Well- no one, but how hard can it be?"

So when Dean was finally off work, he let Sam sit behind the wheel, he sat right next to him in case he needed to take the reigns if they were getting too close to death, but to Dean's surprise, Sam wasn't all that bad. If anything, he was a much worst first time driver. But he wasn't going to let Sam be satisfied, so of course, every time he made the smallest mistake, Dean would yell something along the lines of "baby, don't hurt my baby," referring to his car, of course and not his or Sam's safety. They did manage to get to the shopping center in one piece. They only went to a single store where they found Sam a bunch of shirts, jeans, and jackets, as well as socks and underclothes and other essentials to last him the winter. Dean would probably have to work double shifts to save up more money for him and his brother now, but he didn't care. He would do it without a complaint if it meant Sammy was safe.

By the time they were done shopping, the boys were starving so they drove back through town and made their way to the Roadhouse. When they had finally arrived, Dean pulled the keys out of the ignition and turned to look at Sam. "Are you ready? They're gonna bombard you the second you walk in there," Dean told him and Sam shrugged, opening the squeaky door and walking out.

"I like the attention," he replied with a laugh and Dean shook his head, getting out of the car and following Sam through the doors of Harvell's Roadhouse.

"I'll be with you in just a second," Ellen called out as she heard the bell toll above their heads when they opened the doors, making her way quick to a table, holding two hot plates of food in her hands. Dean stood back, a grin on his face as he watched her walk right past them without even taking a look at them, while Sam stood there behind Dean, laughing to himself.

"Oh, no, take your time, we're in no rush," Dean replied with amusement in his voice.

It only took Ellen a few seconds to stop in her tracks, turn around on her heels and face the boys, the two plates still in her hands.

"Sam?" A loud voice called out over the heavy chatter of customers from across the room. Sam's head shot up from looking at Ellen who was still standing there, dumbfounded, and Bobby who had just come out of the backroom, wiping his hands on an old rag.

"How- how in hell's name did you get here?" Ellen asked him, the confusion clear in her voice and facial expression. She realised then that she was still carrying the two plates, so took long strides, back towards the hungry customers and set their plates in front of them quick before turning back to the Winchester boys. She turned to Sam, engulfing him in a tight embrace just as Bobby joined them. Sam laughed, hugging her back just as tight. He pulled away after a few moments, and turned to hug Bobby, but he stopped him instead, holding the young boy's face in his hands. Sam's smile dropped, and he pushed his uncle Bobby's hand away.

"I'm okay," he told him, reassuring him with a nod. "It's alright. You don't have to worry."

"No, it's not alright, boy! You don't- you don't lay a hand on your own kid! Your own goddamn kid-,"

"I said I'm okay, Bobby, let's just forget about it, okay?" Sam interrupted him, already tired of discussing the matter of the bruise around his eye.

"Well, you boys get comfortable, wherever you want. It's a little busy right now, though," Ellen turned to Dean, "So that booth you seem to love so much in the back is taken, I'm afraid."

"Anywhere's fine, Ellen," he shot back and she chuckled, holding Sam's face in her hand and brushing her thumb over his unwounded cheek, a motherly, caring gesture that made him smile and scrunch his nose.

"It's real good to see you, Sam. I'm glad you're okay," she told him and he grinned back at her as she ruffled his long hair.

"It's really great to see you too," he replied and they made their way to an empty table in the middle of the busy diner.

Ellen came back a few moments later, handing them each a menu but Sam and Dean already knew what they wanted, having memorised the menu by heart a long time ago. Dean ordered the bacon cheese burger as per usual while Sam got the steak with a side of salad (which Dean, of course, made fun of).

They were in the middle of eating their meal when a redhead joined their table.

"Dean, hey!" She greeted him from across the diner as she made her way over with Luna right beside her.

"Hey, Dean, how's it going?" Luna greeted him politely, but before he could respond, Charlie was already talking again.

"Oh my gosh, is this the famous little Winchester?"

"Famous little Winchester- what are you on about, this is my brother Sam," Dean grunted, rolling his eyes at her.

"Hence, little Winchester! Except he's not so little- jeez Dean, he's almost taller than you!"

"Yeah, thanks for pointing that out," Dean rolled his eyes and Charlie only laughed in response.

"Hi, I'm Sam," the younger boy grinned her, holding his hand out for her to shake. "Are you Dean's drop dead gorgeous girlfriend Cas who he refuses to introduce me to?" Sam asked and Dean burrowed his head in his hands in embarrassment.

"Cas? Oh, no, I'm nothing like sweet, sweet, Cas. I'm Charlie, Dean's best friend and only friend-,"

"Hey, I have other friends!" Dean interjected, but she totally ignored him, her attention remaining on his little brother.

"- and this is my girlfriend, Luna!" Charlie continued, introduced the quiet girl beside her and Sam politely smiled at her too, shaking her hand as well. "You didn't say the better Winchester was coming to town," Charlie mentioned and Dean glared at her.

"A, he's not the better Winchester. And two, that's cause he's an idiot who ran away from home without telling me," Dean replied shooting Sam a joking glare, but the boy only rolled his eyes, popping a fry in his mouth.

"A real idjit. God knows what I'm gonna tell your father when he starts callin' left and right asking if you two have been in contact," Bobby passed by, flicking Sam on the head but went to ruffle his hair and pat his back right after.

"Well, if you two are done insulting me, I'm gonna use the bathroom," Sam interjected with a roll of his eyes and stood up, walking past them to the bathrooms in the back.

"I could lie to your daddy about you Dean, you're nineteen, you have the right to do what you want with your life. But Sam's still under his legal guardianship. I can't lie to him," Bobby told Dean, a grave look on his face.

"He can't go back there, Bobby," Dean replied, his eyes looking up at the older man, vulnerable.

"He can't stay here, either. Not if your old man doesn't want him to," Bobby responded with an apologetic look on his face. "I promise you, I'll try my best to punch some sense into John, you know I'd do anything for you boys, but, that's all I can do. Try."

"That's a lot more than anyone's ever done," Dean murmured, his eyes fixated on the food in his plate. Bobby sighed, fixing the baseball cap on top of his head and squeezed Dean's shoulder comfortingly before heading back outside.

"You'll be okay, Dean. You got out just fine, didn't you? So will Sam," Charlie tried to reassure him but he only shrugged, stuffing his face with a handful of fries, preferring to eat than to think about it. Sam came back a few moments later and the pair of them finished their meals in silence. They stayed at the roadhouse until the dinner rush house had begun and then they were on their way, driving to Castiel's.

"It's a pretty cool neighbourhood," Sam commented, staring out the window as Dean drove down the street with all the family houses on either side of the road.

"Yeah, it's pretty quiet around here, I like it," he responded, turning left and coming to a stop in Castiel's driveway. His car wasn't there yet, though, so Dean parked in his usual spot and got out of the car. Sam grabbed the bags filled with his new clothes from the trunk and they walked toward the front door. Dean fished the keys out of his pocket and opened the door, walking in first. He switched the lights on and kicked off his boots by the doorway, Sam walking in slowly, taking in the short and empty hallway apart for the few pairs of shoes thrown aside and the coat hanger, which Dean used to hang his jacket on. He closed the door behind Sam and opened his arms wide.

"Welcome to Casa del Castiel, he's still out so, I'll give you the tour, yeah?" Dean told him with a grin and Sam chuckled, nodding his head as he walked further inside, looking around. "Alright, living room, kitchen, closet that's never used, upstairs, first door to the right is the guest bedroom, second door to the right is the guest bathroom, last door on the left is Castiel's bedroom. Any questions?"

"Yeah, I'd like a refund for this crappy ass tour, please?" Sam replied sassily and Dean squinted his eyes at him in a glare.

"What do you mean? It was bitchin'," he replied and Sam raised an eyebrow at him, throwing his bags on the ground.

"It was horrible, now can we watch some tv?" he asked as he made his way into the living room and Dean followed him, grabbing the remote from the coffee table and handing it to him. "Put on anything you want, I'll get us some popcorn," he told him and turned to make his way to the kitchen.

"Sweet," Sam grinned, grabbing the remote and flopping down on the couch. Dean could hear him switch between the many television channels as he grabbed the corn kernels and the utensils to pop them into the mouthwatering movie snacks. He heard the keys jingle in the front door as he stood over the stove, watching the corn pop into fluffy white bits, and smiled when he heard Castiel's familiar light footsteps as he shut the door behind him.

"Hey babe, I'm home," he called out from the hall, and Dean stood there frozen in place, his eyes going wide.

"It's just Dean and me, Castiel. No babe here," Sam replied with his perky laughter and Dean's shoulders visibly relaxed. He saw Cas pass by the open kitchen door and he sent him a sheepish grin, shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm sorry," he mouthed to him and Dean sighed, shaking his head. He turned back to his popcorn as Castiel joined Sam in the living room. "Hey, Sam, how are you feeling today?" He heard him ask his brother over the low television noise.

"Oh, I'm doing great! I love it around here. And your house is great, dude. Thanks for letting us stay for now," Sam replied and Dean could tell that Cas was sending him that cute, gummy smile of his.

"It's a pleasure having you here, buddy," Cas told him. "I'm gonna go check on Dean. He's not really good in the kitchen," he heard Cas mention and he rolled his eyes when he heard Sam burst out laughing and Cas walk in the kitchen with a small smile on his face. Dean turned off the stove and poured the popcorn into the plastic bowl as Cas made his way toward him. He wrapped his arms around Dean's waist from behind and felt him visibly relax into his touch. "Hi," he whispered, pressing a kiss at the bottom of his neck where his hairline and collar met.

"Cas- hey, Sam could see," Dean whispered, pulling himself out of Castiel's grip and keeping a safe distance between them. Cas sighed and leaned back against the kitchen table.

"I missed you today," Cas whispered back, sending him a small, toothy grin. Dean looked away as a blush crept up his cheeks and grabbed the salt to add some flavour to the snacks in the bowl.

"Me too," he mumbled in response and Cas chuckled, making his way past Dean and stealing a quick peck on the lips before he could even react. He grabbed a couple pieces of pop corn from the bowl as he stood back and popped them in his mouth, his grin widening as he chewed and stared at Dean who was a tomato-red mess. Dean cleared his throat, walking past Cas to make his way back to Sam before the kid could get suspicious about anything, but not before Cas snaked his arm around Dean's waist, pulling him toward him before he could walk around the table and pulled him in for a breath-stealing kiss. Dean wanted to pull away with all his will-power, but he couldn't help himself melting into Castiel's arms, into his touch. He let himself kiss him back, letting out a sigh as he felt Cas' lips pull up into a cheeky smirk against his lips. "I hate you, so much," he whispered against Castiel's lips, pecking them quickly before pulling away, Castiel laughing as he straightened up.

"You love me," he whispered back with a laugh and Dean shook his head, walking into the hall.

"I hate that I do," he called back, stepping into the living room where Sam was sprawled out on the couch, his eyes fixated on the screen as he watched a rerun episode of the twilight zone.

"What do you hate?" He asked him without turning his head his way.

"Uuuh, nothing, move over, I wanna sit down," he replied, changing the subject instantly. Sam moved his legs so that they were bent over the arm of the couch and Dean slouched down in the empty spot. He put the bowl of popcorn between his and Sam and they both watched the television screen, absentmindedly popping handfuls of popcorn into their mouths.

"I'm gonna head to the shower," Cas popped his head into the room, his eyes finding Dean's, giving him a suggestive look. He knew that Dean would never have agreed, but he was taking every opportunity he had to tease the boy and it was working as Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Yeah, okay, don't use up all the hot water," Dean replied, clearing his throat.

"Can't promise you that," Cas yelled back in response as he trudged up the stairs and to his room.

Dean couldn't focus on the screen after that, his mind travelling far to familiar, always uninvited thoughts. Thoughts of Castiel in the shower with the hot water droplets streaming down the muscles on his back, his muscles contracting as he lifted his arms to wash his hair. He hated those thoughts in that moment, since he couldn't anything about them right then. He knew Cas would be taking an extra long shower and he wanted to join him, really bad. Not with Sammy right in the other room, though. He couldn't risk it.

"Hey so, if there's only two bedrooms, how are we three going to sleep?" Sam asked Dean out of nowhere, breaking the silence and Dean looked up at him, his hand stopping mid-air as he was lifting some popcorn to eat.

"Uh, I guess you can have the guest bedroom all to yourself," he told him, trying to find a way to explain to him why he was going to be sleeping in the same bed as Castiel.

"Oh, sweet! Does Castiel have like an extra mattress in his room or something, though?" He wondered and Dean scratched the back of his head as he thought of a good response.

"No uh, his bed is just huge, much bigger than the one in the other bedroom, so we could squeeze in there comfortably," Dean explained and Sam nodded his head. He let out a small chuckle after a few moments and Dean turned to him, raising an eyebrow at him. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing, it's just, you're okay with that? Honestly, I thought you wouldn't even share a bed with you wife if you ever got married," Sam told him and Dean rolled his eyes, smacking him on the back of the head playfully.

"One, marriage sucks. Don't imagine me married. And two, yes, I'm okay with that. You just worry about sleeping in huge bed by yourself for once," he snapped at him and Sam chuckled, holding his hands up in defence.

"Alright, fine," he laughed. "I am looking forward to that, so I don't mind you being miserable with little space to sleep."

Dean chuckled, shaking his head. "It's not that bad," he muttered, a smile making its way onto his face as he thought about Castiel's arms around him and his head laying against his chest, listening to his heart beat steadily, occasionally skipping a beat whenever he would pressed a kiss against his bare skin.

"Oh, have you been sharing a bed with that Cas girl then?" Sam asked excitedly, sitting up as a grin creeping onto his face.

"Shut up," Dean grumbled, turning off the television as the end credits started when the episode had finished.

"C'mon Dean, I wanna meet her!" Sam begged him and Dean rolled his eyes, his annoyance getting the best of him.

"Well, you're never gonna," he snapped at him and Sam pouted, crossing his arms.

"Well, why not?"

"Because there is no Cas girl, okay?" Dean yelled and Sam sat back, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked at Dean who had a frown settled on his face.

"Did you break up?" He asked him in a quieter voice and Dean sighed, standing up and pulling his hair back. He looked up as he heard Castiel's bare footsteps against the carpeted floor in the hall. Upon noticing the tension between the brothers, he excused himself, turning to head to the kitchen to busy himself with dinner but Dean stopped him.

"No- Cas, could you come here for a second?" He asked him and Cas nodded, walking into the living room slowly. Dean sat down on the coffee table facing Sam and buried his face in the palms of his hands. "Sam, uh, we didn't break up," he told his little brother quietly, looking at him as his face turned into an even more confused one.

"Wait, but you said-"

"Yeah, there is no Cas girl," he cut him off, taking in a deep breath. He looked up, his eyes meeting Castiel's blue ones, watching him with an encouraging look as he figured out what Dean was about to do. "There's Castiel," he told him, grabbing Castiel's hand and lacing their fingers together. Cas squeezed his hand comfortingly and Dean could feel his heart beating right out of his chest as he tried to explain who he was to his brother.

"Oh... so you're not in a relationship?" Sam asked and Dean couldn't help the small laugh that escaped his chest at Sam's complete innocence and lack of understanding.

"No, I am," he told him. Dean took in a deep breath, looking up at Cas for a moment who nodded encouragingly, his eyes warm and sympathetic and his smile adoring. "Sammy, I'm sorry, I should've told you this months ago. I just- I couldn't handle it over the phone and uhm, well you're here now so there's no point hiding it anymore. Sam, I- I'm in love with Cas- Castiel." He finally dropped the bomb. And in all honesty, it felt like a huge weight has been lifted off his chest. No matter his reaction, at least he was facing his reality. Of course, he wasn't ready to lose his brother. But lying to him was much worse, it made him feel horrible. He's never had to lie to Sam, and he never wanted to do it, ever again.

"Castiel?" Sam responded in a questioning tone. "But... Castiel's a boy," he pointed out, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and Dean nodded, averting his gaze to the ground, letting go of Castiel's hand as he feared the worst. Some yelling, a punch, maybe two, Sam storming off to God knows where, probably back to Lawrence. But none of that came. Sam stared at Dean as he tried to process his brother's word. They didn't make sense at first, but when they finally made sense, his mouth turned into an O shape, his green eyes widening. "Oh... _oh..."_

"Yeah, _oh_ ," Dean whispered, his voice quivering as he rubbed the back of his neck in nervousness.

"Well... he does have nice eye," Sam spoke after a few moments of deafening silence and both Cas and Dean looked at him in surprise and shock.

"What?" Dean breathed out.

"Uh... thank you, I guess?" Cas chuckled and Sam grinned at him in response.

"So, you like boys then?" Sam asked Dean who nodded at him slowly, trying to understand his brother's reaction.

"Yeah," Dean replied, trying to explain it well to help him understand. "Yeah, well, I find both guys and girls attractive, actually. You're like strictly into girls just like Cas here, is strictly into me," he tried to joke and Cas flicked the back of his head playfully.

Sam nodded as he took all the information in, remaining quiet for a little while. "Okay... yeah, I get it, I suppose. I've just never met anyone who's uh, who's into guys, apart from girls of course," he chuckled.

"Well, you probably have, but you won't know. It's dangerous for people like us out there, people are just too judgemental and falsely prejudiced, and they get aggressive because of it," Cas explained to him and Sam nodded in understanding.

"I won't tell anyone, I promise," he told them and Dean sent him a small smile.

"Gosh, thank you, Sammy," he breathed out, his grin widening as he stood up and pulling his little brother into his arms in a tight hug.

"You're welcome... I guess?" He laughed in confusion as he hugged him back.

"I thought you weren't going to look at me the same when I told you. I was afraid you wouldn't want me to be in your life anymore," Dean admitted and Sam pulled away to look at him with a small frown on his face.

"Dean, you're my big brother. I don't care who you like. You could be into all kinds of freaky shit and I'd still love you," he told him and Dean laughed, pulling him back into another hug.

"You're too wise for a teenager," he told him, ruffling his hair. Sam grinned cockily, patting Dean on the back before pulling back and sitting back down on the couch.

"I am, aren't I?" He responded cockily only for Dean to roll his eyes at him.

"Okay, jerk. What do you want for dinner?" He asked him, changing the subject, and Sam shrugged in response.

"I was thinking of cooking something. Chicken sounds good?"

"Sounds great, Cas," Dean smiled up at him and he nodded, patting his shoulder before turning to walk into the kitchen.

"So, you really love him? Like mom and dad were in love?" Sam asked him and Dean thought about it for a moment. He remembered all the stories his mother told him when he was little about her and his dad falling in love, how they would have done anything for each other. Their dad wasn't always as crappy as he was. He remembered a time when his dad would actually actually laugh and smile. Times when he would dance around the dining room with his mom and others where he would pick him or Sammy up, and kiss them goodnight, all the time's before he was consumed by anger, grief, and lots of alcohol.

"Yeah, I really love him Sammy," he told his brother, feeling a creeping blush on his cheeks.

"So how did you two meet?"

"I forgot how many questions you ask," Dean snapped at him and Sam grinned crookedly in reply.

"Too many, I know. I've been told. So how did you meet? Is he your professor at university? Oh my God, isn't that like illegal or something?"

"Sammy, I'm pretty sure many of the things we've done were pretty illegal," Dean told him with a chuckle. It took Sam a minute to understand what he was saying and he grimaced, letting out a disgusted groan.

"Please keep that part of your life to yourself, thanks," he told him as Dean laughed quietly as his reaction.

"And no, he's not my professor. I just kinda walked into his class accidentally. Then we met again at the Roadhouse where we got to talking and I guess that's where it started," he explained and Sam nodded, smiling at him.

"That's kinda sweet," he replied, leaning back against the couch. Dean spent the next hour trying to answer each and every one of Sam's questions to the best of his ability, without grossing him out too much or telling him stuff he really did not need to know. He tried to make things clearer for him so that he could understand who Dean really was, how it was possible for him to be into both girls and boys when they were so different, but especially how he really only found Castiel attractive. Everyone else was now average to him compared to his drop dead gorgeous boyfriend. He used to spend his time in high school flirting with girls as hot as Lisa Braeden or even hotter, but after meeting Cas, he really didn't care about anyone's else anymore. No one could ever excite him like he did, anyway, and he didn't anyone ever could. He loved Cas more than anyone in the world, and as young as he was, and as inexperienced in the love department as he was, he knew that he was the love of his life and that he would remain in love with him even after a few decades would pass. He was his first love, his first true love, and he was certain that he could never get over it. He didn't want to anyway. "So that's what love is like?" Sam asked him and Dean shrugged.

"That's what Cas and I's love is like, I don't know Sammy. He's the first person I've ever loved like that so... I'm figuring it out as we go along," he replied quietly.

"Hey, dinner's ready," Castiel interrupted them then, leaning against the doorframe, wiping his hands with a towel that he hung over his shoulder when he was done using it.

"Awesome!" Sam yelled excitedly, getting off the couch and running to the kitchen. Dean got up from his seat and walked over to Cas who smiled at him sweetly, holding his cheek in his hand.

"You're the first person I've ever loved like that too," he admitted to him with a small, shy smile. He pulled Dean's face toward his, kissing him softly. Dean smiled against his lips, kissing him back.

"How long have you been listening it?" He asked him, poking his side and grinning as Cas squirmed beneath his touch.

"Just a second," he replied with a grin, stealing another sweet kiss from Dean before pulling away and grabbing his hand, leading the way to the kitchen. They sat next to each other at the dining table with Sam in front of them.

"It smells awesome, Cas," Dean compliment him as he grabbed his fork and poked it into a chicken breast, placing it on his plate.

"It tastes even better," Sam moaned, having already dug into the food, chewing loudly.

Cas chuckled, serving himself some chicken. "Thank you, Sam," he told him. Chatter was light as they all focused on their plates and their drinks until they were full and the casserole was left empty. Feeding one Winchester was lots of work, Castiel knew, having two of them at his table meant no chance of leftovers whatsoever. Man, these boys could eat. He wondered how in the world they were both so skinny when they always ate so much.

Once they were done with dinner Dean stayed back to help Cas with the dishes as Sam up to wash up and change into his pyjamas.

"I told you it was all going to work out fine," Cas spoke up, breaking their comfortable silence. He closed the cabinet after placing the clean dishes inside and walked up to Dean who was cleaning the casserole by the sink. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's waist and pressed a soft kiss on his back before nuzzling his face in the soft fabric of his shirt.

"Hmm, I guess you did," Dean replied, shutting off the water faucet and placing the clean casserole on the drying rack. He dried off his hands with his jeans and turned in Castiel's arms, hugging him tightly and burying his face in his neck. Castiel gently ran his fingers down Dean's back as the younger boy left a trail of feathery kisses on his neck. "I love you," he whispered, pulling back just a little bit to look at his face. Castiel leaned in in response, capturing Dean's lips between his in a sweet kiss that left him breathless. Dean pulled away after a few quick pecks that turned him into a grinning idiot. "I should go check on Sammy, make sure he's settling in okay," Dean told Cas who nodded, kissing his cheek. They walked out into the hall, turning off the lights downstairs before making their way up the stairs. Castiel kept walking toward his bedroom as Dean knocked on Sam's door and waited for his muffled 'come in' to open the door.

"You good?" He asked him, peaking into the room. Sam looked up from his spot under the bed sheets, throwing the novel he was reading beside him. He must have grabbed it from Castiel's bookshelf in the living room. "Watcha reading?"

"It's just a Sherlock Holmes story, found it downstairs earlier and Cas said I could have it,"  he replied, picking the book back up to mark the page he stopped.

"Geek," Dean chuckled, leaning his shoulder against the door. "You settling in okay?" He asked him.

"Yeah, everything's great, thank you Dean. And the bed's reaaaally comfortable," Sam let the mattress swallow him whole, pushing his head back against the pillows, in pure bliss.

"I'm glad you're enjoying this," Dean laughed. "Well, goodnight, Sammy. Try and sleep in, tomorrow morning," he told him before switching the lights off and closing the door, only to hear Sam complain because he wasn't done reading just yet. He ignored him of course and turned to make his way to Castiel's bedroom. He found Cas already in bed, the sweater he was wearing strewn on the floor next to him.

"How's Sam doing?" He asked him, closing his own book and settling it on the bedside table.

"Just fine," Dean replied, walking to the closet to grab himself some clean clothes. "He's enjoying the bed a lot, I don't think he's ever slept on anything more comfortable," Dean told him with a chuckle.

"I'm glad I could be of any help, then," Cas replied and Dean shot him a thankful grin.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Cas," he admitted, holding a pair of his clean boxer shorts from Castiel's drawers and a plain white t-shirt. He made his way to the bathroom then and undressed, getting into the tub to take a quick shower. He walked out a few minutes later, towel drying his hair and his shirt sticking to his wet torso. He threw the towel on the floor, shutting the bathroom door behind him. He flicked off the bedroom lights and jumped into bed besides Cas, who quickly turned to face him as soon as he was settled next to him beneath the sheets.

"How tired are you?" Cas asked him with a small smirk and Dean raised an eyebrow at him, turning on his side to face him.

"I mean, considering I haven't had any sleep in over 24 hours, not that tired," Dean replied with a quiet snicker, as Cas caught his lips into a searing kiss. Dean placed his hand on Cas's chest, pushing him back against the mattress. He straddled his hips, sitting on top of him and leaned down, pressing his lips against Castiel's in a deep kiss. Castiel's hands roamed beneath his shirt and up his back as he kissed him back with heat and passion. Dean pushed his tongue into Cas' mouth, taking the lead. He held Cas down from the waist, his thumbs circling around his warm skin steadily. He pulled away from the kiss, trailing his mouth down Cas' jaw and neck, to his chest, leaving small pecks all over his bare skin. He had reached just above his happy trail when an odd sound interrupted him, and it wasn't coming from the man below him. He was about to ignore it and resume his previous actions when the noise was repeated. It sounded like it was coming from the adjacent room, and it sounded like muffled, distraught murmurs that were progressively getting louder. He sat back up, sharing a confused and worried look with Cas. "I think that's Sam," Dean noted and Cas nodded in agreement. He was off the bed and across the hall in front of Sam's room in a flash, opening the door without a moment of hesitance, Castiel right behind. Sam was in bed, rolling around and mumbling loudly in his sleep. He walked over to his bed, about to place a gentle hand on his shoulder to wake him from his nightmare when his mumble turned into a heavy scream.

"Sam, hey- hey, it's me. It's Dean. It's okay," Dean caught Sam's fist that was flying in the air in the direction of his jaw, staring down at his brother in concern as he shot up from his sleeping position, green eyes wild and looking around the room in a frenzy.

"Wha- Where's- what is going on?" Sam asked, his eyes finally landing on Dean.

"I think you were having a nightmare," Dean told him and a frown settled on Sam's face as he tried to control his heavy breathing.

"I saw dad a-and mom, and then it happened. The fire- it was so fast, Dean, and mom, I couldn't save her. And dad- he got angry. He blamed me," Sam's voice was shaking as he spoke quietly, his eyes refusing to meet Dean's.

"What? Sammy, you know what happened, it's not your fault," Dean tried to reassure him. "I mean, you were only six months old for heaven's sake."

"I know. But he still blames me, he blames me for what happened to mom because if I wasn't crying she wouldn't have been in the kitchen heating up a bottle. He told me. When he was drunk. He said it was all my fault that mom's dead. She would probably still be alive and that fire wouldn't have started if I was never born."

Dean sat back on the corner of the bed, his eyes wide and his fists clenching at his sides. He wanted to punch something, specifically his father's face. But when his eyes saw Sammy's broken ones, he reached over, pulling his brother into his embrace in a tight hug. "It's not your fault, Sam, and you know that. There was a gas leak and there's nothing any of us could've done about it. Mom stayed back till we got out, she saved us. That's how you should remember her, not that she's dead because you were fricken born. It's not your fault, Sammy," he whispered, his voice breaking as he fought back the lump in his throat. Sam's fists clenched into the fabric of Dean's shirt and Dean could feel his tears trickling into his shoulder. He rubbed Sam's back comfortingly. "Shh, it's okay, Sam. I got you," he reassured him, patting his back in a comforting manner. Dean turned his face a little, his eyes meeting Castiel's as a silent tear fell down his cheek. It broke Castiel's heart, seeing the brothers so hurt, and it sucked even more that there was nothing he could do about it to ease their pain. He couldn't give their father a piece of his mind, and he sure as hell couldn't bring their mother back. All he could do was be there for them.

Dean stayed back until Sam was asleep again. He made sure he was comfortable and went back to bed, leaving both bedroom doors open. He sat down beside Cas and curled up against him, holding him close. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, rocking his silently as Dean cried quietly in his arms. "I wish I could do more for him," he whispered and Cas tried to wipe his tears away.

"You're doing everything you can, baby. You're doing a lot more than anyone's ever done for him, a lot more than any brother has ever done for his sibling," Cas replied. He pressed a soft kiss on his temple, brushing his hair away from his face. "He's gonna be okay, Dean. You both are," Castiel whispered, kissing Dean's forehead gently. He held him tight, his fingers brushing his hair back softly until Dean was snoring quietly into the pit between his neck and shoulder, and only then allowed himself to lay back and try and fall asleep himself.

 


	12. Chapter 12

When Castiel woke up early in the morning, he made his way out of bed with a heavy grunt. He really didn't want to get up so early, preferring instead to stay curled up in the warmth of sheets next to his sleeping boyfriend, softly snoring with his face smushed into the pillowed. He padded his way barefoot to the bathroom and washed up quickly before getting dressed appropriately to battle the cold December morning air. He sighed as he slipped his arms through the sleeves of his tan coloured trench coat, wrapping a black wool scarf around his neck instead of his usual tie. He would rather stay warm and comfortable rather than look presentable, no matter who he was meeting with. He had a few errands to run that were work related that morning before the week leading up to Christmas and he thought he would just get them over with early on and quickly.

Castiel made his way to the bed and leaned down, brushing Dean's hair back from his forehead and pressing his lips in a soft kiss against his warm skin. Dean's nose scrunched in his sleep and he made a small throaty noise, a soft hum, as though his sleeping unconscious was aware of Castiel's affectionate gesture. As Cas stood back up straight to make his way out, Dean's fingers wrapped around his wrist and stopped him from moving. He turned around with an eyebrow arched up, giving Dean an amused look. "Go back to sleep, baby. It's only 7:30," he told him and Dean grunted, his eyes still closed as he fought back his rising alertness, fighting to keep a tight hold around his sleepiness, refusing to let it slip away.

"Come back to bed," he mumbled almost incomprehensibly, his grip around Castiel's wrist loosening as his hand fell back against the pillow, his body slipping back into deep slumber.

"I've got work to finish up, Dean. I'll be back before lunch though," he smiled at him even though Dean couldn't see it with his eyes closed. He pressed another kiss on the top of his head, threading his fingers through his hair and brushing his long locks back. Dean hummed in response as sleep stole him back and Cas slipped out of the room and the house quietly, careful not to wake the boys up. Sam had been catching up on sleep lately, being woken up many times during the night with bad nightmares, and although it was Dean who would always check on him, reassuring Cas that it was okay and he could remain asleep, he always found himself wide awake with concern, unable to go back to sleep until both Winchester brothers were snoring peacefully.

He sighed, grabbing the keys to his old car and jumped inside, driving down the familiar road to work as the soft notes of Beethoven's orchestral work played quietly in the background. He arrived in just a few minutes, the traffic practically non existent at this early hour of a day in the middle of the winter holidays. The meetings with his university superiors including the head of his department and the dean of students went by smoothly. None of it was too important, they only went over the plans for the coming semester and Castiel was told that he would be joined by some new coworkers the coming quarter. He was done earlier than expected, leaving the campus ground by ten o'clock. He drove back happily as the roads had started filling with people going about their day and running their daily errands. He passed by the local bakery on his way back home and decided to surprise the boys with a bit of pastries. He parked the car in front of the shop and walked inside, the warm smell of baked goods and freshly brewed coffee welcoming him. He smiled at the old lady behind the counter, greeting her warmly.

"Good morning, how may I help you today, sweetheart?" She greeted him with a gentle smile. Cas sent her a small grin as he leaned to the side to check what was on display behind the glass counter.

"Could I have a couple croissants, three danishes, and two chocolate covered donuts? And two cups of coffee to go, please," he ordered and the old lady smiled at him, putting down his order. He would have gotten Sam a cup of coffee, but he didn't want the growing boy to be attached to it at such a young age, what with caffeine's horrible effects on the body.

"That'll be $6.83," she told him, getting off her chair to place the pastries in a small waxed cardboard box and pouring the coffee into the foam cups to go. She placed them all on the countertop as Castiel handed her a ten dollar bill. He grabbed the change back, placing it in the pocket of his trousers and then took a hold of the box and the coffee in the cup holder that facilitated carrying multiple cups at a time. "Thank you, have a nice day," he smiled warmly at the old lady before turning around, ready to make his way back to the car when he bumped shoulders with a man who was taking a sip of his coffee.

"Oh, gosh, I'm terribly sorry about that!" He grimaced, apologising as the man let out a hiss as the hot content burned his tongue.

"Ah, don't worry about..." the man started, letting out a breath to cool down his tongue. He turned to glanced at Castiel, his eyes widening and eyebrows raising in surprise. "Castiel? I thought it was you! I'd recognise that voice anywhere," the man declared in an enthusiastic voice, putting down his cup on the nearest empty table.

Castiel looked up after grasping his items firmly so as to not drop them, his blue eyes widening as they fell on the man before him. "Oh, Zac!" He chuckled in disbelief. "What are you doing here?" He put the coffee and the box down, rubbing his hands down on his coat as he looked the man up and down.

Zachariah was a bit shorter than Castiel. His brown hair was shoulder length, left shaggy and untamed, much longer than when Cas had last seen him, going for the rockstar look that all the young men seemed to sport nowadays, following in the footsteps of the greatest rock heroes. Perhaps he actually hadn't cut it since Castiel had last seen him a couple of years ago. His eyes were green, but they were nothing like Dean's forest green eyes, peppered with light droplets of honey when the sun hit them just right. No, Zac's were much colder, much less inviting, not like Cas had remembered. The man was dressed in a leopard print shirt and black jeans that were rather too tight, a white coat left hanging on the back of the chair.

Zac walked over to Cas, wrapping his arms around him in a hug that left him a little uncomfortable. He patted his back a little before pushing him away.

"Oh, I was just looking at a job opportunity. I've been searching for something, start fresh, you know how that is," Zac told him and Cas only nodded, playing with the spare change in his pockets.

"Yeah," he replied with a nod. "What are you looking into?" He asked him and the other man just shrugged.

"Nothing fancy, I was looking at the job vacancy for a civilisation studies professor at the college downtown, just a few blocks away actually. You still into teaching?" He asked him, sitting down and taking a sip from his cup of coffee. Castiel hesitated between sitting down and staying up. He was going to opt for the latter but the man waved at the empty seat before him and Cas sat at the edge of the wooden chair, his leg bouncing up.

"Yes, I'm still teaching. Theology... down at the college," he told him, his eyes focused on the flashy animal print of his shirt.

"Ah," the man's eyes seemed surprised, of course he would be. "I'm thinking of taking that job," he told him and Cas snapped his head back up, meeting his eyes. He grabbed a hold of the cup holder, nipping at the cardboard material with his finger. "I've met with a few different schools around the country, I've been checking them out during the vacation, but there's just something quite... inviting and welcoming about Texas, don't you think?"

"It is quite a nice place to live in..." He told him, giving him a short. Zachariah's eyes fell on Castiel's order that was clearly for more than just one person.

"I hope I'm not keeping you from anything important," he told him, still eyeing the two cups of coffee. "So, are you seeing someone, then?" He chuckled, but Cas wasn't sure what was so amusing about his question.

"I am, actually," he replied simply, and Zac arched a questioning eyebrow, nodding his head.

"Another student?" Zachariah joked but when he saw Castiel's icy glare, his laugh was cut short. "I'd love to meet him," he told him, feigning sincerity. Castiel could hear the hint of forced politeness behind his voice. "We should get together for lunch, or dinner, while I'm in town," he offered. Cas looked up at him, hoping to see any signs that told him he wasn't serious, but Zac seemed very serious. "Me, you, your new boytoy," he trailed off when Cas squinted his eyes at him in a glare.

"His name's Dean," he replied quietly, his fists instinctively clenching at his side.

"Dean, quite the boyish name. Hmm. Bet he's rugged, none of that nice boy attitude, hm?" Zac chuckled and Cas tried his best not to snap at him, or snap him. "So, tomorrow afternoon? Does that work for you? I was driving through town, Harvell's Roadhouse seems like a good place for a drink," he told him and Cas got up, forcibly nodding.

"Fine. See you then, Zachariah," he replied him, knowing the man wouldn't let it go. He tended to be relentless, always having his way. The other man remained seated comfortably. He held his hand out and Castiel shook it reluctantly. He turned back around, grabbing his belongings and making his way to the car. As soon as he was sitting behind the steering wheel, he let out a heavy puff of air, running his fingers through his hair before starting the engine and driving back home. He parked the car in his driveway behind Dean's impala and grabbed the box of pastries and the coffee, walking up to the front door after locking the car. He balanced the cups of coffee on the box in one hand while he grabbed the keys from his coat pocket and unlocked the door. As he stepped inside, kicking the door shut with his foot, he jumped as he noticed Dean standing right in front of him, almost dropping the cups to the floor if it weren't for Dean's fast reflexes, catching them upright before anything disastrous could have happened.

"Hi," Dean said with an amused chuckle. He leaned in, pecking Castiel's lips quickly in greeting as he grabbed the box from his hand to help him with it.

"Dean, hey," Castiel breathed out, his lips curving up in a soft smile. He shrugged off his coat, throwing it around the coat hanger along with his scarf and slipped out of his shoes.

"You okay? You're not usually clumsy," Dean mused with a chuckle as he walked to the kitchen, placing the box of pastries on the table. He opened it up, his mouth instantly watering as the aroma of freshly baked and still warm croissants filled his sense of smell. He grabbed a plate, placing one of each item of food in it and pulled back a chair, flopping in it quickly to dig into the food.

"There's coffee too," Castiel told him, grabbing a cup for himself and handing Dean the other. He sat opposite him, taking a small sip of his drink. "Sam still asleep?" He wondered and Dean nodded, taking a large bite from his croissant.

"Didn't answer my question," he spoke with a mouthful and Castiel have him a look of disgust at his lack of eating etiquette but remained quiet about it.

"I'm fine, Dean. The meetings were just tiresome," he replied curtly, grabbing a danish and taking a bite from it, chewing on it slowly. Dean seemed to take his answer as it is and just nodded, turning hid attention back to the food. Castiel wasn't exactly sure how Dean was going to take Zachariah's invitation. He could simply not tell him and go to dinner with him without Dean knowing, but he didn't like the idea of lying to Dean a single bit. He didn't want Dean to meet him of course, he knew that Zac was probably up to no good, if he knew him at all. But he didn't know how Dean would take the idea of meeting Castiel's ex-boyfriend for a bite to eat. Of course, Castiel had told him briefly of his previous relationships, recounting how he had met them and why things had ended, keeping all the unnecessary details to himself of course, for Dean's sake. Dean was alright with the fact that Castiel had several boyfriends before him. Dean himself had had several relationships throughout his high school days and Castiel knew of them as well. They were all in the past, left behind in Kansas and California. Dean knew of Zachariah. He knew that he was the last relationship Castiel was in that had ended a couple years earlier when Castiel had to move abruptly out of California when his brothers had him fired. Knowing about previous relationships is one thing, it is expected in most couples. But meeting an ex? That was an entirely different story, and he wasn't sure whether Dean would be up for it and remain civil. He was rather a little  
hot headed, a shoot first and ask questions later kind of guy.

"What's on your mind, princess?"

Castiel snapped out of his reverie, rolling his eyes at Dean's nickname for him. "Nothing... just thinking," he replied, taking a long sip from his coffee to avoid Dean's lingering gaze.

"Hmm... want me to help take your mind off things? We've got a little time before Sammy's up," he sent him a sly and mischievous grin, his eyes twinkling. Cas smiled at him, holding his finger out and motioning for him to come closer with it. Dean shot him a grin, getting up from his seat and closing the gap between the two of them. He settled himself on Castiel's lap, wrapping his arms around his neck and let his fingers comb through his dark fluffed hair on the back of his head. With his index and thumb, Cas tilted Dean's face up from his chin and leaned down, pressing their lips together in a sweet kiss. There wasn't anything rushed or hot about it which only made Dean smile and his heart swell as he kissed him back just as affectionately. Cas pulled back once he was out of breath and he caressed Dean's cheek with his thumb as his breathing settled down. He stared into his deep forest green eyes, glinting with joy and warmth and he couldn't help but to beam at him.

"Dean," he started but stopped soon after to recollect his thoughts. He didn't know how he was going to break it to Dean, but he knew that anything but the truth was out of the question. Dean watched him expectantly, waiting to hear his words but he didn't push or prod at him to force the words out, which let some of the tension in Castiel's shoulders to dwindle. "I ran into a friend while I was getting us breakfast at the coffee shop," he explained, watching Dean's eyes for his reaction as he continued while he simply listened to him, his smile still spread on his lips. "And he kind of invited us to have dinner tomorrow night." Cas finished, his hands falling to Dean's side, drawing relaxing circles onto the skin at his hips.

"An old friend?" Dean questioned, trying to read Castiel's thoughts and expression. "By the look of your face and the sound of your voice, that he is an ex?" He stated, his words coming out in a form of a question more than a statement. Castiel nodded as Dean's smile switched to a frown, his brow creasing in thought.

"We don't have to go, if you don't want to. I'll just tell him to leave and he won't bother us," Castiel told him reassuringly but Dean shook his head.

"Who is it?" He wondered and Cas chewed on his bottom lip for a second before replying.

"Zachariah Morningstar," he told him with a sigh. Dean nodded slowly as he remembered everything Cas had told him about the man. They had a short fling with him his first year of teaching that his brothers found out about and had Castiel fired over it. That relationship had ended just as fast as it had begun and Castiel was on his way to Texas after that. That's all he knew, and all he needed to know. He trusted Castiel, so he nodded giving him a small smile.

"Alright, we'll go," he told him and Cas' eyes widened in genuine surprise.

"Wait, you're serious?"

"Yeah, why the hell not? What's he gonna do, hit on you right in front of me? You're mine anyway, and I'll let him know just that," Dean explained and Cas smiled at him, nodding.

"Yeah, all yours," he whispered, pulling Dean's face back down to him and pressed their lips together, this time their kiss a little more heated than the last as Dean pushed his tongue past Castiel's lips and into his mouth. He pulled away a few moments later with a chaste, stolen kiss, leaning his forehead against Castiel's who let out a breath through his nostrils, saying "you'll let me know if it gets too much, and we'll get right out of there, okay?" He squeezed his hand comfortingly and Dean laced their fingers together.

"Yeah, okay," he whispered back. He kissed Cas' nose before finally getting off his lap right on time as Sam had stumbled out of bed and downstairs to the kitchen.

"Morning," he yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he padded his socked feet to the fridge and opened it, grabbing the orange juice carton and pouring himself a glass. He flopped down in Dean's empty seat, his eyes landing on the open box of pastries. He was instantly wide awake as the smell hit him and he grinned, instantly going for the chocolate covered donut. He let out a satisfied groan as he took a large bite and Castiel couldn't help but chuckle.

"You two are more alike than you know," he noted and Dean rolled his eyes, grabbing his cup of coffee and finishing it off.

"We are nothing alike," Sam responded with his mouth full, only proving Castiel's point further. While it was true that Sam was much more neat than Dean and did tend to have better etiquette when it came to well, just about anything, they did share many commonalities, especially when they were in their grumpy moods.

—

Dean eyed Castiel from the bed as he watched him button up one of his blue work shirts- the good shirts. He rolled his eyes, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "You don't have to dress all fancy, you know. It's just the roadhouse," Dean said, but what he really meant was it's just your ex, but he wasn't going to say that out loud. Cas raised an eyebrow at him from the cupboard's mirror as he finished the last button and pulled a navy blue sweater over his head, tucking both the shirt and the sweater into his khakis.

"Or, you could dress up for once," he retorted, shooting him a playful grin as he knew that was totally not gonna happen with Dean. "And they're not fancy, they're just not casual."

"Which means fancy. You only wear that shirt to work," Dean pointed out as he got off his sitting place on the bed and joined Castiel in the hall as they made their way downstairs.

"I'm flattered that you can tell my clothes apart," he responded instead and Dean grinned at him, stopping him at the top of the stairs and pulled him in from the collars of his shirt for a chaste kiss. They walked back downstairs hand in hand and stopped outside the living room to check in on Sam and Charlie who were watching random commercials playing on the screen.

"I really don't need a baby sitter, you know," Sam called out, his eyes still glued on the screen.

"Charlie's not here to babysit, I'm not paying her," Dean replied with a chuckle as he slipped his arms into the sleeves of his winter coat.

"You should pay me. The checks at the library kinda really suck," she mentioned and Dean snorted, zipping up his jacket.

"No offence, but then why is Charlie here?" Sam asked and Charlie chuckled, stuffing her with popcorn.

"None taken, Sam," she replied, patting his knee.

"I don't know, ask her," Dean asked but before Sam could complain he just gave him two thumbs up, yelled bye, and ran outside, Cas right behind him. He let out a sigh as he looked up at the sky, the clouds indicating heavy rain was on its way. "I hate winter," he grumbled, stepping into Castiel's car.

"You hate summer too, though," Cas chuckled, closing the door and starting the engine. He turned the heat on, and warmed his hands a little before driving off.

"Yeah, there should be a season where it's not too hot that you gotta shower ten times a day or too cold that your dick freezes," Dean muttered and Cas threw his head back laughing, pulling out of the driveway. Once they were on the familiar road down the short drive to the Roadhouse, he used one hand to steer the vehicle, the other resting comfortably in Dean's lap.

"I think you mean Spring?" He responded in a teasing voice and Dean rolled his eyes but he couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips.

"Shut up," he mumbled, letting his eyes watch the cars driving around them.

They arrived at the diner soon after and Castiel parked his car outside. The roadhouse was packed for the busy dinner time and the boys braced themselves as they got out of the car and made their way inside. At least, with this many people around, Zachariah wasn't going to try anything. But Castiel knew him to be an unpredictable man. Right before Dean pushed the door open, Cas placed his hand on Dean's wrist, stopping him. "Dean, uhm," he started, "look, Zachariah can be a little too forward. He might say stuff. But he's just a manipulative asshole. I- just thought I should warn you," he told him. Dean sent him his boyish grin and shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't worry, he's got nothing on me," he reassured him before pushing the doors open and walking inside. Castiel let out a heavy breath before joining him inside.

"Hey boys, I'll be with you two in just a moment," Ellen smiled at them as she walked past them to place a few orders at a table. Ash walked up to Dean then and clapped him on the back, shaking Castiel's hand firmly.

"Just thought I'd tell you two, there's a weird guy who looks weirdly high who's been eyeing you weirdly," he told him and Cas looked in the direction he was pointing at, sure enough, his eyes landing on Zac's figure.

"Ash, you're high," Dean snorted and Ash grinned at him, pulling his facial muscles down in a mouth shrug.

"And drunk, but that's besides the point, my friend!" He told him, laughing as he walked back toward the pool table in the back.

"Are you sure about all this Dean? We can still bail if you want to," Cas told him but Dean only sighed and squeezed his hand behind their backs where no one could see.

"I'm sure, baby. It's okay," he told him, grazing his arm with his hand before trekking toward the table for four Zachariah was sitting at, Castiel right behind him. As soon as they had reached the table, Zachariah stood up and held his arms open.

"Hello, boys," he sent them a grin that was wickedly venomous, and even Dean who didn't know the guy could sense it. He wasn't at all what he was expecting, although Dean wasn't exactly sure what to expect. But a guy who dressed like most of his rock heroes was not what he was imagining. The guy was clad in jeans, wide at the ankles and snake leather boots to match his dark shirt, the sleeves rolled up and the first few top bottoms left undone, baring a cross necklace over his chest. Somehow, Dean knew that even that would not get that man into heaven. He had to give him props though, his hair was kept well, his hairstyle matching that of Robert Plant's and John Lennon's, one that he wouldn't mind sporting himself. Dean hadn't cute his hair since the end of summer and although his hair hadn't reached his shoulders yet, he was thinking of letting it grow that long at least before cutting it back to its short length that he was used to. Cas enjoyed his long locks though, and he wasn't going to rob him of that pleasure just yet.

"Ah, and you must be the famous Dean," he said, holding his hand out. "Zachariah Morningstar, but you may call me Zac," he introduced himself. Dean shook his hand firmly, noticing the guy trying hard not to wince which brought him great pleasure, quite honestly. He let go, wiping his hand on the side of his jeans before unzipping his coat and slinging it on the back of his seat before sitting down.

"Zac, how are you?" Castiel asked politely, shaking his hand before sitting down next to Dean.

"Oh, I'm doing great, Castiel. This town is treating me well, actually," he smiled, taking a sip from the bottle of beer that was in front of him. "You been here before?" He asked them and Dean just smirked at him as Jo came by their table to take their order.

"Oh yeah, loads of times," Dean replied, smiling up at Jo innocently. She cocked an eyebrow at him questioningly but didn't say anything. "We'll have three specials, please, Jo," Dean told her and she smirked back at him in understanding.

"Would that be steaks or the chicken? I would really recommend the chicken tonight, they're extra fresh," she said, eyeing the stranger at their table.

"Chicken sounds good, I'll have the chicken special then," Zac commented and she sent him her sweetest sickening smile.

"You know what? I'm actually in the mood for steak tonight. Fries on the side. Medium," Dean ordered and Jo nodded, scribbling it down in her notepad.

"Cas?" She turned to the blue eyed who was looking between Jo and Dean suspiciously, knowing that they were certainly up to no good.

"I'll just have the garden salad, and a beer please. Really cold," he ordered, knowing he'd be safest getting a salad.

"Coming right up, boys," she winked at Dean before turning around and making her way to the kitchen to put their order in.

The special was an inside joke between Dean, Jo, and Sam. Whenever they spent time at the roadhouse, Ellen would have them helping out whenever they were low on help. So when a customer was being extremely annoying or was just unpleasant and the kids didn't like him, they gave them the special. It wasn't anything that special, honestly. The person's meal was just cooked with an added secret ingredient. It was usually something disgusting, like spit, or boogers, or pubes. Maybe it didn't even really matter if the person never knew what the secret ingredient was or that it was even added in the first place, but it still gave them immense pleasure doing it.

"I've heard good things about the food here," Zac mentioned and Cas nodded, his hand unconsciously resting on Dean's knee under the table.

"Oh, it's definitely the best," Dean replied with a mischievous smirk that Cas could see right past. 

What are you planning? His eyes screamed at him but Dean only smiled and turned to entertain the man in front of them.

"So, Cas tells me you're looking for a job here?" He asked him and Zachariah nodded, staring at Cas as Dean used his nickname.

"Cas, huh? I thought you hated nicknames," Zachariah mentioned and Dean could feel Castiel's fists clenching against his leg. He let his hand drop under the table at the risk of getting seen and held Castiel's hand in his, Castiel's fingers instantly relaxing.

"What can I say, I'm special," Dean replied instead, flashing him his cockiest grin.

"You certainly are something," Zachariah muttered, staring at him intently.

"Yes, he is," Cas spoke matter-of-factly and under different circumstances, perhaps Dean would have allowed himself to blush and beam at him, even maybe steal a kiss when he was sure no one was looking, but he kept his cocky exterior instead, quirking an eyebrow up in the direction of Zachariah.

They remained quiet when Jo came back with their order of drinks, and placed a very cold beer in front of all three of them, including Dean whose underage ass hadn't even ordered one. But Jo sensed he would need it, so she winked at him as she placed the bottle in front of him and gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze before walking off to another table.

"Waitress seems awfully friendly with you, Dean," Zachariah commented, looking from Jo's disappearing figure back to Dean, his eyes moving to Castiel for a split second before falling back on Dean again.

"Jo's a little sister to me," Dean told him easily, taking a long and satisfying sip from his drink. Zachariah's lips formed an "Ah" shape before he focused back on his own drink.

It was certainly very awkward, as hard as the man tried to not make it so between. He kept asking Castiel all those questions, personal questions from his past, some things he'd told Dean in detail already, others that just hadn't come up in conversation yet between them. He asked him of their common friend Balthazar from his days back in San Francisco, making sure to drop just the right hints for Dean to understand that he wasn't simply just a friend but a lover that they had shared during different times to Dean's relief. Castiel had reassured him that he hadn't spoken to him in over four years. He even had the audacity to ask him of his father Charles, or Chuck as he preferred, and his job as head of the surgery department back in Los Angeles, knowing that family would be a sensitive topic for Castiel, but the way Dean's fingers gently caressed his arm under the table which Zach could see the affectionate touch very clearly told him that whatever he was trying wasn't going to work on either of them. Castiel wasn't exactly sure what he was playing at, what exactly he was trying to do. He had no. clue whatsoever what his plan was, and he wasn't planning on finding out the hard way. He wasn't going to let him win.

Jo cut their conversation short as Zachariah was just about to turn to Dean to ask him a certain question, a personal one Castiel would have assumed, probably one he's be too embarrassed to answer but would anyway so as to not backdown in front of this man trying to challenge him. She placed their plates of hot food in front of them, placing down Castiel's salad last. "And here we go, an extra special meal," she grinned, emphasising on the words "extra" and "special" to which Dean had to bite his lower lip to refrain from bursting out in a fit of laughter. Just before Jo turned to leave though, she cleared her throat, leaning down to whisper in Castiel's ear. "Two things: one, there's a whole bunch of disgusting ingredients in that chicken, you're very welcome. And two, there's a bunch of students from uni coming in right now and I suppose you wouldn't want them to recognise you and Deano here. Just thought I'd give you the heads up."

Castiel's lips were starting to quirk up in a smile at her initial confession but his body soon tensed when his eyes fell on the opening front door to the Roadhouse. Dean had noticed his instant change in demeanour, his head snapping in the same direction he was staring at. He spotted a few students he recognised from around campus barging into the place like they owned, laughing amongst themselves as they walked inside. Castiel cleared his throat and stood up, shooting Dean a panicked look.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to use the bathroom," Castiel said, sending Zac a fake smile and turning to walk in the other direction towards the men's bathroom before any of the students who definitely knew him could recognise him. He had spotted one of his own previous students among the group, and while he didn't like to be arrogant unless it involved Dean and playful teasing in bed, the many compliments he had received from students and coworkers alike made him certain that he wasn't an easy professor to forget. He was sure that the student would recognise him instantly.

Jo grabbed his elbow gently just before he pushed the door to the restroom and stopped him, murmuring under her breath "I'll try to get them out, tell them we don't have any tables available for another hour or so. Mom will kill me for losing customers but she'll understand." She let go of his arm and turned on her heels to greet the newcomers rather coldly for his and Dean's sake. Cas let out a heavy breath, pushing the door with his shoulder and barging into the bathroom. He grabbed ahold of the sink and closed his eyes, as he tried to recollect his thoughts. It hurt that he couldn't risk being seen around with Dean, even as friends hanging out. It was odd for a professor and a student to hang out or even interact outside of campus, and what with the faculty already somewhat knowing of his old life in California, he couldn't risk being fired over it once again. He let out a soft swear under his breath, turning on the water faucet and splashing some on his face.

Dean wanted to follow Castiel into the bathroom so badly, but he knew he had to stay put, for both their sakes, and Zachariah's sake. He didn't want him asking questions that were even worst. And besides, he recognised a few faces and he was sure that they had recognised him too. He wasn't going to go starting up rumours that he was hanging out with the hot Theology professor, as lucky as he felt to be said professor's boyfriend in actuality. He let out a sigh, sitting up straight and stuffing his face with a few pieces of fries that he dipped in the steak sauce.

"Don't you think you'll ever get tired of hiding every time you see someone you recognise?" Zachariah asked him as he cut through his chicken. Dean watched him with amused eyes, sticking a bite of steak into his mouth.

"Nah, as long as I know I got Cas at home, I'm good, Zac," he spat his name out with venom, chewing long and slow on his food. Zachariah chuckled as he bit into the piece of chicken and made an actually satisfied sound. Dean raised an eyebrow in surprise, finding it harder and harder not to laugh. "Good chicken?" He asked with a snort and Zachariah surprised him by nodding.

"Wonderful, I'll have to ask the chef what the secret ingredient is!" He sounded so serious and genuine Dean almost felt bad for him. Almost being the key operative word.

"Hmm, trust me you don't wanna do that, the chef is very... moody..." he drawled on that last word, stuffing his fork into his mouth with another cut up piece of steak and biting on it.

"Well," he chuckled dryly, taking another bite. "Don't you think though, that Castiel will get tired? I mean he could do so much better, have you seen that ass of his? And my God, those eyes!"

Dean clenched his jaw, suddenly any previous amusement as a result of his and Jo's prank swiped clean. He swallowed hard and sent a glare in the other man's direction. "Yes, I've noticed," he managed to let out through gritted teeth. He didn't like someone else noticing his boyfriend's best features, but that he couldn't have control over. It was obvious to the world. But the way this man was talking about them- like Castiel was but a piece of meat, it disgusted Dean what a vile man he really was. Yet, he couldn't help but think, as a recurrent thought played out through his head: Castiel really could do better. He could do so much better than Dean. He could find someone his age, someone he could be a little less secretive with, someone he could hang out with in public as friends, someone he could be seen around with at least, even if he couldn't hold his hand or brush a stray strand of hair out of his face. And that was his biggest fear, to lose Cas because he couldn't provide much for him unless it was in the privacy of their own home, behind closed doors where no one could see them.

"A man like Cas... what's he doing with someone like you...a freshman?" Zachariah taunted him, his fork in the air before his mouth, a little smirk playing on his lips. His eyes were malicious, and Dean could tell this was him trying to manipulate him. And yet... yet. "You're just another student to him, Dean. Why would he have chosen you? Someone as gorgeous as Castiel, he can get anyone he wants. He's just settling, isn't he? Until another pretty student comes strolling in, and he'll probably just move on to him. You're just another student to him Dean, and soon enough you'll both realise that."

"That's enough, Zachariah," Castiel's deep voice, roughened by the clear anger boiling inside him, was almost enough to get Dean out of the state he was in, lost in his thoughts, lost in Zachariah's words. Neither one of them had noticed when Castiel had reappeared behind Dean from his rather understandably long bathroom break, setting his hand securely on Dean's shoulder; reassuring, possessive. He didn't care at this point if any one was watching. He wasn't going to stand there and let him talk to Dean like that. He knew of his manipulative ways, and he wouldn't let Dean fall prey to his tricks.

"Ah, prince charming to the rescue," Zachariah practically sneered, his eyes moving from Dean's stoic face to Castiel's expressive and boiling red face. If looks could kill...

"Dinner's on me. Just- just leave, Zac," Cas let out an exasperated sigh as he grabbed his wallet from his back pocket and placed a few bills on the table. "Don't show your face in this town again, and don't you dare even talk to Dean again," he threatened him through gritted teeth, pointing his index at him. He grabbed Dean by the shoulders, rubbing them  
soothingly as he felt the tense muscles under his clothes. "C'mon, sweetheart," he whispered in his ear and Dean was snapped out of his trance, as though the small affectionate term of endearment was all he needed from Castiel. He got up, grabbed his jacket and sent one last glare in Zachariah's direction as he made his way outside to their car. Castiel followed after Dean, thankful to see that the pack of students had only just returned, so the little interaction they had just had did not expose them to anyone. He sent a warn smile in Jo and Ellen's direction on his way out, waving quickly as he joined Dean by his car. They both climbed in and sat in silence for a few minutes, neither one daring to say anything. With a heavy exhale, Cas started the engine and revved out of his parking space, driving back home. The ride was silent, but it wasn't one of their many companionable silences this time. This one was intense and quite heavy. Dean could hear his own thoughts, and he wished he couldn't, so he turned on the radio, trying to push out all the nasty words and thoughts planted in his brain by listening to any music at all, but it only jumbled his head even more. They had finally arrived home and Dean walked inside and straight upstairs to their bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Castiel on the other hand walked in slowly, throwing his keys in the small basket at the entrance, hanging his coat up, and removing his shoes. He walked past the kitchen, noticing a lurking couple consisting of an overly nosy teen and a red head with just as much curiosity. He turned around to look at them and went to ask what they were doing in the kitchen and if they were hungry when he saw them wearing cooking aprons, oven mitts and sunglasses.

"What are you two... do I wanna know?" He asked and Charlie only grinned at him, holding up a large bottle of cherry soda while Sam held up an entire pack of mentos.

"Volcano," they both said simultaneously and Cas narrowed his eyes at them in a scrutinising glare.

"No- no! You're not ruining my kitchen," his voice was stern. He thought maybe he wouldn't have been so against the idea had he been in a better mood. Perhaps if this was happening on any other day he would have helped eagerly, but today was just a bad day and he was pissed.

"But- Cas! Volcano!" Sam whined, giving him his best pouty lips and big pleading eyes.

"Whatever, I want the kitchen spotless after though," he muttered, rolling his eyes at their immature hooray and high five. He turned around, stomping up the stairs and to his bedroom, opening the door and stepping inside. He pushed the door closed slowly with his back, undoing the first two buttons of his shirt. His eyes landed on Dean. He was sitting on the side of the bed now dressed in his checkered pyjama pants and a plain white t-shirt, hunched over his knees, deep in his thoughts. He was absent, Cas could tell. Even if he was physically present, his mind wasn't, and Cas had an idea as to why.

"If you're overthinking any of the words he told you tonight, Dean, please don't," Castiel sighed, leaning off the door and walking toward Dean. He sat down beside him on the bed, taking of Dean's hands in both his. Dean looked up at Cas, his eyes wider than he'd ever seen them, greener than ever, and more vulnerable than they had ever been, it almost broke Castiel's heart seeing him like that. He pulled Dean's hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it softly, smoothing the same spot over with his thumb after. "I love you, Dean. You shouldn't ever doubt that. Zachariah was just- he's angry with me, Dean. When we were together, he manipulated me into the relationship, and when I didn't reciprocate any of his feelings, he was upset because he thought there could have been something more. Well, to him really it was more sex, but to me, not even that was worth the while. He wants to hurt me, Dean. And he thought he would do that by playing with your mind, and believe me if he could so much as make you think that there was any truth to any single one of his words, it really would have hurt me, baby. You have to trust me when I tell you I love you. I'm not gonna leave you."

Dean looked at Castiel's ocean blue eyes through his lashes, listening to his every word. He swallowed, nodding his head and placing his free hand on top of Castiel's which were holding his other hand. "I love you too, Cas," he whispered, nuzzling his cheek. Cas smiled with relief, nudging Dean's nose with his before pulling him in for a soft kiss. Dean was fast to change the mood though, kissing Castiel more feverishly, with more want, and more need. Every touch they shared, ever kiss, every breath, it was as though they were possessing each other, making it known to them and to others they belonged to each other. Dean had gotten rid of the sweater and shirt combo had been wearing, peppering the soft skin at his chest with kisses, leaving marks right over his collar bone. He thrived on every quiet moan that escaped Cas' lips, trying to keep them as low and minimal as possible for Charlie and Sam's sake. It wasn't long before they were both in just their boxers, their bodies painted with red and blue love bites, showered with hot, wet, open-mouthed kisses, dry humping each other, rolling their hips against each other. Dean straddled Castiel's hips, holding his hands flat against his chest as he rolled his hips, smirking as he heard a moan leave Cas. He moved his body lower, trailing kisses down Castiel's abdomen the lower he went. His lips reached his inner thigh and he licked and nibbled at Castiel's sensitive skin there, feeling him shudder beneath him. He moved upward a little, his hot breath fanning right over Castiel's hard-on. He mouthed at it without warning over Castiel's black boxers, the other man biting down on his lower lip hard and arching his back forward.

"Dean..." Cas whispered in a broken voice, his hands tugging at his hair. Dean groaned in satisfaction, looking up and meeting Castiel's hooded gaze.

"You're mine, Cas," he growled against Castiel's member, his voice sending a vibrating jolt of ecstasy through his body.

"Yeah, Dean. Yours baby," he whined, brushing Dean's hair back.

"No one can make you feel this good, can they baby? Not even Zachariah could get you this excited so fast," he didn't know where this dominant and possessive surge had come from but he wasn't going to back away now. They were clearly enjoying it immensely and besides, Cas was his. And he wanted to show him that.

"No, only you, Dean," Cas whimpered in a whisper of a voice and Dean smirked, mouthing at his throbbing cock through his briefs again, enjoying the sounds erupting from Cas. He closed his teeth around the hem of his boxers and used his jaw to pull them down to his knees, Castiel's cock slapping against his torso with a slapping sound. It made Dean's own dick twitch in his boxers. He pulled the rest of the boxers down with his hands and tossed them aside. Without another warning he took as much of Cas as he could without choking from the first try, using his left hand to grip the rest of the length that he hadn't reached. He moved his hand and bobbed his mouth, hollowing his cheeks all simultaneously as he worked on Castiel's throbbing and leaking member. Dean's hand slid down his own bare torso, slipping into his boxers and giving his members a few gentle rubs as Cas moaned beautifully below him. His back arched, his hips thrusting forward. Dean pushed himself forward, taking all of Castiel's length into his mouth. He closed his eyes at the soft and surprised gasp that escaped Castiel as his cock his the back of Dean's throat. He didn't even gag, hollowing his cheeks and sucking at Cas' member as heavenly as possible.

"Oh shit- Dean, I wanna come inside you, baby. Because you're mine too," Cas whined, tugging Dean's head back by his hair so that he pulled his head off his dick a little and Dean looked uo at him with his eyes dark with lust and wide, a little bit of drool slipping past his lips and down his cheek. Cas used his thumb to wipe it? pulling Dean's head up to his face, instantly connecting their lips in a passionate kiss, pushing his tongue into Dean's mouth and licking his way around. He could taste his own pre-come in Dean's mouth as he kissed him harder, his hand slipping down Dean's boxers and gripping his ass tight. He teased Dean's hole with his index finger, the younger boy letting out a satisfied gasp. Dean pulled away from the kiss, catching his breath, and used his moment to pull his own boxers down and tossing them to the side of the room. He leaned forward, straddling Castiel's hips and without any preparation of sort or any lubrication but the wetness of his mouth previously on Castiel's girth, he leaned down slowly, Castiel's cock slipping with ease up his hole, filling him whole. They both moaned in content at the familiar feeling and Dean leaned in, kissing Castiel sweetly. He pulled back a moment later, meeting Castiel's gaze. With a silent agreement, he began moving, rolling his hips, carrying them up and back down as he rode Castiel's cock like his life depended on it. Castiel arched his back like a cat, thrusting his own hips forward, meeting every pull of Dean's halfway. Dean moaned Cas' name over and over again in his ear, running his hands up and down his sides. Cas let his head fall on Dean's shoulder, biting down rather hard as pleasure filled him with surges of heat and power and lust and just an amazing feeling all around, his entire body burning with need for more, more contact with Dean, more smell of Dean, more sounds coming from Dean, anything Dean. His Dean. He grabbed hid hips so tight as he thrust into him, feeling like his fingers would leave a mark there the following day, but neither one of them cared. Cas then pushed Dean up so that he was sitting straighter in him, still riding his cock with heavy pleasurable thuds, and Cas looked up at him, his hair falling on his face. He looked so angelic, so pure, and he was his. Dean's hand found its way between their bodies and he rubbed himself, his fingers wrapping around his own length and pulling with the rhythm of each of Castiel's halfway upward thrusts.

"C-cas- so good. So close," Dean whimpered, closing his eyes as his movements became sloppier with no particular rhythm, moving faster and needier.

"Dean, open your eyes, beautiful," Castiel moaned, looking up at Dean who listened to him and meeting his gaze. Blue meeting green. it was all Castiel needed to let go and let the coil release, a stream of hot sticky come filling up Dean. With a rather loud moan of Castiel's name, Dean let go soon after, staining Castiel's chest with his load. They milked themselves dry and Dean finally collapsed onto Castiel's chest, the older man wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight. He buried his face in Dean's head of hair, pressing soft kiss after another on the same spot on his temple, making Dean smile. Cas finally pulled out of Dean, some of his load falling down his thighs. Dean winced at the empty feeling and found comfort in Castiel's neck, nuzzling it and holding him as close as possible.

They laid there for as long as Cas could handle being sticky and sweaty, until he had finally decided to get them both up and drag them to the bathroom for a quick cleanup. They brushed their teeth then, dressed in their pants and walked back into the room hand in hand. Before bed though, Dean made his way downstairs to the kitchen to get a glass of water, but what he had walked to instead was a sink that was overflowing with soda and stains all over the kitchen cabinets. Dean smirked at the sheepish Sam and Charlie who were frantically trying to clean up their mess. Charlie looked up when Dean entered, smirking at his very obvious sex hair.

"See, Sammy. They were just sexually frustrated earlier, nothing to worry about. Cas is probably too happy to even notice any-," her sentence was cut short when Cas had joined Dean in the kitchen and let out a small shriek which surprised them all.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN?"


	13. Chapter 13

"Oh, good, you're up! Hey, come help out outside?"

Dean looked up from his place at the kitchen table, taking a sip from his cup of coffee. His hair was messy from sleep and he was only clad in his sweatpants. He looked at Cas who was clasping his gloved hands enthusiastically, his red beanie perfectly complimenting his cheeks that were tainted red from the cold outside.

"Keep it down, it's too early," Dean complained, taking another sip of his hot drink. "And close the door, all the cold air is coming inside," he snapped, his body shivering a little.

"Dean, it's like eleven o'clock," Sam came in, carrying a shopping bag in each hand.

"It's an ungodly hour to be awake, and you're already done with the supermarket shopping?" He groaned, finding it hard to understand how these two could be so enthusiastic and energetic this "early" in the morning.

"It's not supermarket shopping, Dean. Just- put on your coat and come help us outside, please?" Cas asked him, his blue eyes wide and pleading.

"Ugh, fine, I'll be out in a second," he grumbled. "Only because I'm done with my coffee," he added, swallowing back the last sip and setting the mug in the sink. He made his way upstairs, putting on the first hoodie he spotted and slipped on his boots fast. He walked back downstairs, slipping on his winter coat and followed Castiel and Sam outside. He found them standing around Castiel's car, a giant green tree tied to the top of the car. Sam sent him a big grin from behind the car as he worked on untying the ropes holding the tree in place. "What's this?" He chuckled, joining Castiel's side as he helped Sam.

"It's a Christmas tree, Dean. I'm sure you've heard of them before?" Castiel teased, finally getting the rope loose enough and threw it on the ground.

"Funny," Dean replied coldly. "What's it for? Christmas isn't for another week," he pointed out, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket as a cold breeze passed by.

"Yeah, and that means we were very late in buying one!" Sam exclaimed, clapping his hands partly due to the excitement and to warm his hands as well.

"Come on, help us get it inside," Castiel told him, wrapping his arms around the trunk of the large tree.

"Getting it inside is going to be a real pain in the ass," Dean grumbled, taking in the tree's full size and weight. He sighed, taking Sam's place and holding the tree from the top. Together, Cas and Dean carried the tree inside as Sam took care of the rest of the bags with the ornaments inside. They placed it in the corner of the living room where the small table with the record player on it was situated, which they had moved behind the couch for the time being. When the tree was finally up, Dean stood back, letting out a heavy breath in exhaustion. "That's the most work out I've ever done," he complained and Cas quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Then what would you call yesterday?" He teased him and Dean smirked at him, letting out a small titter, his body leaning toward Cas', as though he were his centre of gravity. He only stood back straight, keeping his distance between him and Cas when Sam came up behind them, groaning loudly.

"Okay, disgusting," he grimaced, placing the bags on the ground.

"Then shut your eyes," Dean suggested just as he wrapped a lazy arm around Castiel's torso and pulled his body flush against his, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. Sam let out another disgusted groan, leaving the room.

"CALL ME WHEN IT'S SAFE TO COME BACK IN!" He yelled to them as he ran up the stairs, presumably back to his bedroom. Dean pulled away from Cas, laughing loudly.

"You're horrible to your brother," Cas pointed out with a small laugh, pecking Dean's cheek as he turned around him to grab the bags and place them under the tree.

"Nah, he's just weak," he chuckled, standing behind Cas and wrapping his arms around his waist from behind, his chin leaning over his shoulder. "What's in the bags?" He asked Cas, peaking into them from over his shoulder but he could only see red wrapping paper.

"Christmas presents," Cas replied with a small shrug of his shoulders. "And you're only going to find out what they are on Christmas day!"

"Hey, that's not fair," he pouted. "I'm gonna see them anyway, in the end."

"Yeah, well, life's not fair, babe," Cas replied, turning around in dean's arms and pecking his pouty lips quickly.

"Besides, I thought we said no presents?"

"You said no presents," Cas retaliated and Dean quirked his eyebrows up, holding a defence finger up. "And I know you got me a present so I thought I'd return the favour," he added and Dean sighed flopping down on the couch.

"How did you know?"

"There's a bag in my closet with the words 'DO NOT OPEN UDNER ANY CIRCUMASTANCES' written on it. I thought you would be better at hiding things, you know, but then again, I can always tell what's on your mind," he told him, sitting beside him on the couch and turning to face him.

"Yeah? What's on my mind right now?" Dean responded in a quiet voice, looking into Castiel's blue eyes through his long and dark lashes.

"I have an idea, or two," Cas replied, leaning in so that their lips were just shy of touching. He pressed a feathery kiss on the corner of Dean's mouth, trailing his hand up his chest.

"I can assure you that they do not include any items of clothing," Dean told him with a little smirk. He eyed the wool knit cap on Castiel's head and pulled it down so that it rested properly over his hair and ears. "Maybe the hat," he added, dropping his hand to Castiel's neck, his finger running through his hair that the hat did not cover at the base of his neck. Castiel laughed softly, pulling Dean in for a kiss, but as soon as their lips had met, Sam was back in the room again and groaning loudly.

"Will I EVER catch a break?" He yelled as the boys pulled away from each other while laughing at the teen's outburst.

"Don't be such a prude, Sammy," Dean laughed, sitting up properly on the couch.

"I'm not. I just don't wanna see my brother's tongue shoved down someone else's throat," he grumbled with a grimace on his face.

"Alright, you wanna start decorating the tree, now?" Castiel asked him, changing the subject from his physical relationship with Dean to a more fun activity.

"Yes, please!" He yelled out excitedly, running to grab the box with the ornaments in it.

"I'm going to order a pizza for lunch. Anyone want anything special?" Dean asked, getting up to the phone.

"Cheesy garlic bread," Sam told him as he opened up the box and pulled out a few red plastic balls.

"Oh, yeah, that sounds great. Add some sausages on the pizza too," Cas added, grabbing the Christmas lights and going to plug them in to make sure they were all working properly.

The boys spent the better half of the day decorating the tree, adding little colourful plastic balls and tiny angelic shapes. They tied some tinsel and multicolour Christmas lights around the tree and added at last a big golden coloured star at the top of the tree. It was already dark outside when they were all done and had consumed two entire large pizzas and a lot of soda. The entire house was decorated inside and outside. Sam had insisted on adding a tiny Santa Clause in the front yard and wrapping some long tinsel around the house. They hung a wreath on the front door and finally, Cas added a piece of mistletoe in the hall. As Dean was walking back inside after checking the decorations outside, Cas stopped him with a wide grin on his face, one that reached his eyes and made Dean's heart flutter right out of his chest.

"What is it?" He asked him with a matching smile. Cas pointed his index finger upward and Dean glanced up, chuckling and shaking his head at his boyfriend's cheekiness. "C'mere," he whispered, pulling him by the hips and dipping him a little from the small of his back, kissing him deeply. Cas laughed into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck as he kissed him back just as passionately. "You're so cute," Dean complimented him with a soft laugh, pulling him back up on his feet and pecking his lips sweetly. The boys went back after that to the living room, sitting on the couches with Dean's head in Castiel's lap and Sam laying sideways on the armchair, his legs hanging from the arm of the chair. They watched movie after movie until they were all too tired and Sam and Cas were already snoring. Dean smiled, kissing Castiel's cheek softly, shaking his shoulder gently to wake him up. His blue eyes opened slowly, blinking a few times until they focused on Dean's tired green ones. "Hey, let's get you to bed," he whispered, helping him up to his feet. Dean turned off the television and walked over to Sam, smacking him on the forehead. Sam jumped up in his seat, waking up in a panic.

"What- what's going on?" he yelled, his breathing heavy as he looked around the room, trying to understand why he was woken up so brutally. Dean laughed at Sam's reaction but soon stopped when Castiel smacked his shoulder.

"You are very cruel," he scolded him, his voice heavy with sleep.

Dean simply shrugged, holding his hand out to help Sam up. "It was still funny," he chuckled, but no one else was laughing along. He sighed, helping his brother off the armchair and they all made their way upstairs to their separate bedrooms. Dean turned off the lights and shut the door, joining Cas in bed under the warm blankets. Cas instantly turned on his side as soon as he felt Dean next to him and pulled his back against his chest, his face nuzzling his the crook of his neck. Dean smiled as Cas wrapped his arms around his waist, spooning him from behind. He took Castiel's hand in his and pulled it up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on the back of his hand. "Night, babe," he yawned, his eyes already closing, while Cas was already breathing steadily against his neck, already fast asleep.

The next few days were spent just about the same. Dean would be gone most mornings to the garage to get some work done, taking extra shifts as he didn't have any studying to do for the next few weeks due to the Christmas vacation. Castiel on the other hand was completely free. He had already finished correcting his students' finals and already had the following semester's material ready. So, he spent most of his time taking care of a very bored Sam. The pair spent a lot of time between the park, tossing a ball around, and the movies, watching every single one that was playing that week. They had even resorted to going to the market every day and actually cooking dinner and baking dessert because they had nothing better to do and Cas wasn't going to lie, he enjoyed putting on his apron and getting his hands dirty in the kitchen. Dean would join them whenever he was off work, but he would absolutely refuse to work in the kitchen unless it included him tasting the final product, and although Sam complained, Cas was rather okay with it because he had learned the hard way that Dean couldn't cook anything that required more effort than frying eggs and bacon for breakfast, or boiling some spaghetti and adding some ready-made store-bought sauce to it for lunch or dinner. It was quite the fun week that was full of useless bickering and loud, stomach-aching laughter.

It was Christmas eve and the boys were all out of food. Dean of course couldn't handle not having any breakfast, especially when they were fresh out of coffee. So Cas came up with the brilliant idea of going to the store. They all got dressed in their coats and piled up in Dean's impala with Sam in the back. As Dean started the engine, he turned the radio on, smiling to himself as the loud bang of drums and electric guitars rang through the car stereos while he pulled out of the driveway. Sam rolled his eyes in the backseat as Cas visibly winced, leaning forward to change the radio channel, but as soon as his hand reached the knob, Dean slapped his hand away, sending him a sideways glare.

"Dean, it's nine in the fucking morning. Can we listen to something quieter?" Cas grumbled, going to turn the volume down. This time Dean didn't protest physically, but he couldn't help his snarky remarks in response.

"Hey- driver picks the music, shot-gun shuts his cake-hole," he snapped at him. Cas sighed, leaning back into his seat.

"I don't care, Dean. Would it kill you to listen to some classical music?"

"I do too listen to classical music!" Dean countered and Cas turned to him, cocking an eyebrow up with an amused grin.

"Classic rock does not count as classical music, Dean," he pointed out and Dean scrunched his nose, his eyebrows creasing.

"It's got the word 'classic' in it, doesn't it?" he responded as though what Cas had just told him made absolutely no sense at all.

"Besides, you're strictly into heavy metal and hard rock," Cas breathed out with a roll of his eyes at Dean's silliness.

"Aren't you the one who owns every single Led Zep, Black Sabbath, and Deep Purple record, anyway?"

"Collectively, they're all like ten albums. And I do not listen to them at nine in the fucking morning," he grumped and Dean chuckled bitterly in response.

"I get it, it's nine in the _fucking_ morning, now can we please appreciate Ritchie Blackmore's genius solo?"

Cas and Sam both groaned as Dean grinned, letting out a laugh as he turned up the volume, tapping his hands on the steering wheel to the beating, singing along to the solo of Deep Purple's song _Hush_ way out of key.

Sam let out a heavy breath in satisfaction as soon as his feet hit the ground of the grocery store's parking lot. The Impala's doors creaked as Cas and Dean joined him, closing the doors behind them and Dean locked the car, stuffing the keys in the pockets of his jeans. They walked inside, Cas keeping a little distance from the boys to avoid raising any suspicions to familiar eyes. They had driven to the store that was at the far edge of town which meant as little a chance of running into anyone they knew as possible, and thankfully they hadn't. Sam grabbed a trolley and pushed it in front of his brother and his boyfriend as they walked through the many aisles, throwing everything they needed into the cart. They had reached the cereal aisle and Dean's eyes danced with delight as they fell on the box of Cocoa Puffs. He grabbed two of those and threw them in the cart only for Cas to let out a dissatisfied sound.

"What, now?" Dean rolled his eyes turning to Cas who was carefully placing a box of Corn Flakes down besides the other two Dean had thrown in there.

"Those are very bad for you," Cas commented, pointing at the two boxes of heavenly chocolate flavoured cereal puffs. Dean stared at him, his mouth hanging open in disbelief as Sam stood back, watching them silently in amusement as they bickered.

"At least they're flavoured, unlike whatever this is," he grabbed the box of Corn Flakes and tossed it back into the cart to make a point.

"They are flavoured, they're just not overflowing with too much flavour that might cause you a lot of health issues," Cas explained, holding onto the handle of the trolley and pushing it forward, the Winchester boys right behind him.

"Cas, buddy, I'm not here for a long time, I'm only here for a good time. You're kinda ruining that for me right now," Dean told him and Cas smiled, a small, wicked smile, glancing down at his shoes, shaking his head a little. He stopped walking then and turned to Dean, leaning in to whisper in his ear for only himself to hear.

"I could ruin a lot more than that for you, sweetheart," he whispered and Dean could feel every hair on his body raise up as a shiver travelled down his spine. "I could ruin you," he added before pulling back, standing back up straight. He kept walking, pushing the cart in front of him as if nothing had happened. Dean cleared his throat, walking right next to Cas, his cheeks matching the bottle of ketchup Sam had just thrown in.

"Do it," Dean breathed out with a very serious look on his face and Cas glanced at him with a small, amused smirk playing on his face. Various different scenarios went through Dean's mind as he stood in place, watching Cas walk further down the aisle, pushing the trolley in front of him. He watched his muscles move, his trousers hugging the curve of his ass just perfectly.

"What did he tell you?" Sam asked, coming up right behind Dean.

"Shit," Dean jumped, frightened by his brother's sudden appearance. He turned to Sam who was raising an eyebrow at him, and shook his head, taking long and fast strides forward. "None of your business," he muttered, clearing his throat.

The boys finished the grocery store tour, their trolley filled to the top with necessities and way too many unnecessary snacks that Dean insisted on throwing in, despite Castiel arguing against it. They were finally done, piling all the bags in the trunk of the car over an hour later. They got in and started the drive back to Castiel's house. Just before they had arrived, Dean turned to the nearest gas station. "I'll fill her up," Cas offered, already out of the car. Dean nodded, grabbing his wallet from his pocket and walking into the Gas n Sip to pay for the fuel. He walked back outside once he was done and stood leaning his fists on the top of the car as Sam joined him, leaning against the car door.

"Hey, so, are you guys okay?" He asked his older brother, his eyebrows furrowed with worry.

"Yeah? Why wouldn't we be?" Dean chuckled in confusion, his eyes fixated on Cas as he grabbed the gas nozzle and shoved it into the car. "Hey-HEY CAS! DON'T SHOVE IT IN LIKE THAT- SHE'S A LADY! COME ON, MAN!" Dean yelled and Cas looked up him with an expression that was just so done and tired of Dean's comments.

"I'LL SHOVE IT UP YOURS, HOW ABOUT THAT?" Cas retaliated and Dean only grinned at him, sending him a wink as Sam cringed beside him.

"See, that's exactly what I mean. You're always bickering!"

Dean smiled at his brother in response, clapping his shoulder firmly. "It's fun bickering, Sammy. He's the fucking love of my life, kid- cAS YOU COULD PULL IT OUT GENTLER THAN THAT MAN!" He ended his sentence in a loud whine. Cas rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time that morning and placed the gas nozzle back in place. He walked back over to the car door and quirked an eyebrow at Dean.

"You've never complained much about that before, though," Cas replied, feigning innocent surprise.

"Oh, come on! Could you stop with the very obvious insinuations, for the love of all that is as young and innocent as my ears!" Sam cried out, opening the door and slamming it behind him as he got in the car.

Dean and Castiel laughed loudly as they joined him in the front seat and shut their doors once they were settled in. Dean started the car then and started the drive back home, the whole time with Castiel's hand resting gently on his knee. They got home a few minutes later and unloaded all the bags in the kitchen, placing everything back where it belonged. Dean was quick to open the box cereal and the milk carton, filling up a giant bowl and sitting at the kitchen table, finally getting to eat his breakfast. Sam and Cas joined him soon after and they ate their breakfast in comfortable silence. The day went by fast with the boys laying back at home, playing a game of scrabble. Surprisingly enough to both Castiel and Dean, Sam beat them easily, using big words such as flummox and usurp, most of which Dean had absolutely no idea what they meant. Of course, being a sore loser, he refused to play another game, so Sam suggested they switch to monopoly. This time, Dean was much more comfortable. He even caught Castiel trying to cheat with some more money, tackling him to the ground to regain the 100 monopoly dollar bill while straddling his hips and fighting him for it. It had almost ended in a rather very heated kiss if it weren't for Sam clearing his throat too loudly, breaking them apart instantly. They went back to playing until Cas was forced to forfeit and Dean was crowned winner. Of course, Sam wouldn't let him have it and called him a cheater for the rest of the night but Dean ignored him completely, sometimes even pretending he wasn't even there, making a joke about hearing voices of spirits speaking to him.

It was eleven p.m., and Cas was fast asleep next to Dean in bed, except Dean couldn't get any sleep, way too energised from the previous day. Cas had been asleep for over an hour and Dean really didn't want to wake him, but he knew that Cas wouldn't be against the idea he had. So he sat up in bed and grabbed Castiel's face, gently caressing it with the back of his hand.

"Cas, baby," he whispered, leaning in to peck his lips softly. Cas scrunched his nose, refusing to open his eyes, although Dean knew that he had woken up from the change in his breathing pattern. "Wake up, baby," he asked him with a little laugh.

"No, go back to sleep, idiot," he grumbled, trying to roll on his side to get comfortable to go back to sleep but Dean wasn't having it.

"Let's go for a drive," he suggested with an excited smile. Cas opened one eye, looking up at him in surprise.

"You wanna go for a drive? Right now?"

"Yes, Cas, come on!" Dean spoke in his normal voice now, no longer in the mood for whispering, hoping it would excite Cas some more.

"Well, since I'm already up," he groaned, sitting up in bed and Dean through a triumphant fist in the air. He slipped out from under the bedsheets and grabbed his shoes, putting them on. He stayed in his pyjama pants and sleeping t-shirt, throwing on a warm sweater over it. Cas stood up with a heavy breath and a yawn, grabbing his jacket and shoes and putting them in lazily, not even bothering to tie his shoelaces.

Dean grabbed his hand and led the way down the stairs quietly so as to not wake Sam up. He grabbed his keys from the small basket on the cabinet in the hall and opened the front door slowly. In a matter of moments they were sitting in the car and were driving out of Castiel's street with the heater on to keep them warm. Dean grabbed Castiel's hand and held it against the car's leather sofa, squeezing it gently.

"Where are we going?" Cas asked, leaning closer to Dean. It was quite dark outside and the streets were void of most people, if not all people, so he took a risk and leaned his head on Dean's shoulder, holding his hand in his lap. Dean turned to glance at him quickly, smiling down at him before turning his attention back to the road.

"Just somewhere quiet," he replied and Cas chuckled at that.

"Dean, it's quiet everywhere. It's the middle of the night," he pointed the obvious and Dean laughed, shrugging his shoulders.

"I meant somewhere where there couldn't be any people," he told him and Cas nodded, turning his attention to the street ahead. He turned the radio on, Paul McCartney's soft voice filling the silence in the car. He hummed along to the tune of Penny Lane as Dean drove down the empty streets. Finally, about ten minutes later, he parked right outside the town's edge, under the bridge at the bank of a river. "This should be private enough," Dean smiled, turning the ignition off. He turned to Cas, pushing his dark hair off his forehead. "You wanna push back the seat?" Dean whispered and Cas smiled at him, leaning his hand over Dean's lap and reaching for the seat adjuster. He pulled it, sending the seat all the way back. Dean leaned back against the seat, staring up at Castiel. He held his hand up, grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him down toward him. Cas climbed over Dean's lap, making himself comfortable as he laid on top of him, his face only mere inches away from the boy's.

"Hi," Dean whispered and Cas smile, pecking his lips softly.

"Hi," he breathed back, brushing his cheek lightly. Dean pulled Castiel's face down toward him, and their lips finally met in the sweetest of kisses. It didn't last long though, as Dean's fingers trailed up Castiel's back underneath the soft material of his shirt. Castiel took the opportunity to push his tongue into Dean's mouth as he was gasping for air, licking his way through and exploring Dean's mouth which he knew by heart already. Dean moaned in satisfaction, fisting Castiel's shirt and pushing it up his back slowly. Cas pulled back just a little, grabbing the hem of his jacket and shirt and pulling the both off, tossing them to the backseat. Dean pulled him back in for a kiss as soon the clothes were strewn off, his teeth biting down onto Castiel's soft lips. Castiel moaned, helping Dean out of his own shirt.

"Ruin me like you promised earlier," Dean whispered into the kiss. He could feel Castiel's lips curve up in a smirk as he remembered the comment he had made to Dean that morning in the grocery store. He started kissing down his jaw and to his neck, nipping and sucking at the skin until it was bruised red and purple everywhere. He continued further down to Dean's protruding collarbones, paying extra attention to their sensitivity. He flicked Dean's nipple with his finger, enjoying the small moan of pleasure escaping the younger boy's lips.

"You like that, don't you, baby?" he whispered, leaning down and flicking it again with his tongue this time. Dean let out a louder moan, his eyes shutting closed. Cas grabbed his sensitive nipple between his teeth, sucking it into his mouth and twirling it with his tongue, using his index and thumb to toy with the other free one in a teasing manner. He could already feel Dean's semi hard-on pressing against his thigh through his thin bottoms and it only made him work harder at worshipping his sensitive skin. He pulled back to catch his breath, only for Dean to pull his head up by the hair and pull him in for another heated kiss. Cas sucked in Dean's bottom lip between his teeth, leaving it cherry red and swollen. He ran a tongue over the boy's plump lips, catching his lips once again in a passionate kiss. Cas's hand moved lower between their bodies, resting on Dean's lower abdomen. He traced his index over his abs in a slow circle, only for his hand to suddenly shoot back up to his side when there came a knock on the car's door.

"Alright, kids. Enough of that crap," a rough male voice came from behind the window. Cas swore under his breath, putting a finger on Dean's mouth to keep him quiet.

"Stay down," he whispered and sat back up, his eyes coming into contact with an old officer. He rolled down the window as Dean tried his best to remain hidden from anyone's view. Cas cleared his throat before addressing the policeman. "Can I help you, officer?" He called out, his voice coming out rougher than intended, but perhaps it would work in his favour.

"You're not kids..." the officer responded and Cas sent him a cold smile.

"No, we're not." He responded curtly.

"I'm really sorry, sir, but-"

"Officer Henderson?" Cas squinted his eyes in the dark to read his tag. "Look, it's pretty late. The wife and I are enjoying our time away from the kids for the night. Just move along and go knock on some real kids' windows," Cas told him and Dean was all the more turned on by his sudden authoritative response to the police officer who loomed rather sheepish.

"Right you are, sir," he cleared his throat, fixing his hat. "Have a goodnight, sir. Ma'am," he glanced near the back, trying to spot Dean who only hummed in a squeaky voice in response, to make him believe in the presence of a woman as best as he could. The man coughed, nodding his head and walked off. Castiel let out a breath when the coast was clear and rolled the window all the way back up.

"That was a close one," he murmured and Dean smirked at him, running his fingers through his hair.

"That was the hottest thing I've ever witnessed," he whispered in a hoarse voice. Cas raised his eyebrows in surprise, a smirk making its way into his face. He leaned back in, his lips crashing into Dean's in a deep kiss. His hand settled back on Dean's thigh, moving upward until he was palming his hard member through the fabric of his pyjama pants.

"You are pretty hard for me, right now," Castiel noted, running a wet tongue over his bottom lip.

"Fuck, Cas," Dean moaned, curling his fingers around the hem of Castiel's pants. He pulled them all the way down to his ankles releasing his hard cock which slapped hard against his stomach. He moved on to taking off his own pants, tossing then to the side of the car seat. Castiel grabbed both his cock and Dean's, sliding them ever so slowly against each other with a slow movement of his hips. Dean closed his eyes, his mouth falling open as he was hit with a wave of silent ecstasy. He dug his fingers into Castiel's shoulders as Cas moved agonisingly slow, rubbing his hard on against Dean's that was already leaking pre-cum onto his torso. "Shit," he breathed out, letting out a resonating moan.

"Tell me what you, baby," Cas whispered, nuzzling Dean's cheek as he moved his hips forward, thrusting against Dean.

"I want you, Cas. Fuck, I want you to take me, right here. Fuck me so good, baby. Ruin me," Dean whimpered as Cas grabbed their dicks in his hand and palmed them at a steady rhythm.

"I'd be glad to," Cas whispered, grabbing Dean by the knees and spreading his legs as far apart as he could. He the alined himself with Dean's entrance and in one swift movement, he thrusted into him, all the way in. Dean moaned loudly at the sudden feeling of fullness, his eyes shutting closed. Castiel grabbed Dean's right leg and pulled it over his shoulder as he stood back straight, staring down at Dean, his beautiful disheveled Dean whom he was about to bring down to ruins, beautiful broken down, whimpering Dean. He placed his hand on Dean's chest, holding his leg up over his shoulder and steadying himself, and then he began to move, pulling out and pushing back into Dean at a steady rhythm. He started off slow, enjoying every little sound escaping Dean's bruised lips with every movement of his waist. Dean's hand shot up, pushing against the cold window, trying to hold on for dear life as Cas hit his sweet spot horribly slow. "Open your eyes, baby. I want you to look at me," Cas whispered, staring down with his big blue eyes at Dean's gorgeous face, still moving in and out. Dean opened his eyes slowly, green meeting blue. "I want you to look at me as I own you, as I completely ruin you, leave you begging for more," he groaned, thrusting in harder, and deeper. He kept his rhythm slow, though, knowing just how much it drove Dean crazy. He knew how much Dean liked it rough, and how much he enjoyed it when Cas took his deep and fast, reaching his pleasurable end quite quick, which was exactly why he wasn't doing so. He wanted to take his time, to tease him, make him beg for his release, make him before for more, watch him come undone beneath him as he worshipped every little bit of his body. Cas rolled his hips and Dean tightened his grip over his shoulder, a little broken whimper leaving his mouth.

"Please, Cas," he begged in a whisper, his green eyes wild and vulnerable, dark with lust and want, darkened with pure need and desire, yearning for Castiel's burning touch.

"What do you want, Dean? Tell me what you what," Cas replied, running his fingers teasingly on Dean's smooth inner thigh.

"Fuck me long and hard Cas, please," he begged him and Cas couldn't help but chuckle as the hand on his chest moved lower to Dean's member. He gave it a few tugs, matching the rhythm of his hips, before finally deciding to ease up on poor Dean and going faster. His cock was red and throbbing, ready to let go at any moment.

"Not yet, baby, not yet," Cas warned him as he slammed into him, hitting his prostate at just the right angle and right force, knowing how hard Dean was fighting to keep his eyes open and hold all the pressure in. He wrapped his leg around Castiel's torso and grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him down toward him. He kissed him long and hard and Cas didn't complain, smiling and letting out a satisfied moan. Dean clenched over Castiel's cock and Cas cursed as a wave of pleasure shot though his veins. "Fucking hell, Dean," he breathed out, moving his hips faster and harder, his thrusts becoming sloppier with each one. Dean thrived on the burning sensation that made his every hair rise with goosebumps as Castiel fucked him longer and harder. Castiel's grabbed Dean's cock again, flicking its tip. Dean couldn't handle it anymore. He clenched his ass once again, his eyes shutting close as he tried to hold it for Castiel. "Open your eyes for me, Dean," he ordered him and Dean did, fighting hard to keep them open as he stared up into Castiel's deep blue orbs. Dean's digital watch beeped suddenly, signalling that it was now midnight.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he breathed out as Cas hit his prostate. "Marry fucking Christmas, baby," he moaned and Cas laughed, shoving into Dean as fast as his body allowed him.

"You can let go now, baby. Go ahead," he whispered, staring right down into Dean's eyed as his hips halted, a warm shot of cum rushing into Dean's hole, filling him up just as Dean let go, releasing his load all over his chest and Castiel's. Castiel collapsed onto Dean, his arms wrapping around his loosely. Dean was breathing heavily, wrapping one arm around Cas' torso, their skin sticking against each other with a mixture of sweat and cum. Dean winced, letting out a soft whimper as Cas finally pulled out, his load trickling down his cock and Dean's inner thigh.

They sat there in each other's arms quietly for what seemed like hours, until Dean started shivering from the cold once their body heat had returned to normal after their tiresome activities. Cas turned around, turning on the ignition of the car and setting the heater at the highest temperature. He then turned back around, grabbing one of their shirts and used it to clean off their chests. He tossed it back and grabbed their pants and sweaters. He helped Dean into his clothes and shrugged his own before sliding back to the seat next to Dean's.

"Thank you for waking me up," Cas told him and Dean laughed, turning to face him. He leaned in, pulling him in for a soft kiss.

"You're welcome," he replied with a grin as he pulled away. Dean pulled the seat back straight to its original position. They sat there, cuddling for what seemed like another eternity until they had both gotten too tired and Dean drove them back home. They snuck back inside and to bed, happy to find that Sam was still sound asleep and hadn't suspected a thing.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," Cas whispered as they slipped back under the bedsheet and Dean smiled, nuzzling his face into his chest.

"Best Christmas present ever," he told him before feeling Cas' chest vibrate with his laughter. He brushed Dean's hair back, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Glad I could be of service," he joked and Dean smiled up at him, kissing his cheek. They fell back asleep soon after, wrapped up in each other's arms with the sheets tangled between their bodies.

They woke up the next morning to Sam banging early in the morning to their door. Dean groaned, covering his head with the duvet as Cas turned to his side to check the watch on his bedside table. It read 6:28 a.m.  Cas let out a groan, rubbing his eyes, and turned back around to face Dean. He smiled at the boy who was already awake but fought it to the best of his abilities, trying to catch some more seconds of slumber. Cas grabbed one of his hands and laced their fingers together, leaning in to kiss his cheek softly. As a response to Castiel's gentle attempts to awaken him, Dean wrapped his arms around his torso and pulled himself as close to him as possible, leaving no space between their bodies that stuck to each other, separated only by the thin layers of their clothes. Castiel laughed and rolled them over so that he was hovering on top of Dean.

"Come on, let's get you in the shower. You'll feel much better after," he suggested and rolled off the bed, his feet hitting the carpeted floor. He smiled to himself as he saw Dean finally sit up, stretching his body as a yawn escaped his mouth. He looked so adorable with his sex and sleep hair, Cas could only stand there and stare at him with that smile on his face. Of course, Dean noticed and it bothered him like crazy.

"What?" He snapped, his voice thick with sleep.

"Nothing, you just look adorable," he told him and Dean glared at him as he threw back the covers and got out of bed. He followed Cas into the shower and got rid of his clothes, jumping first under the steaming hot water. Castiel took his time to shave his growing stubble before joining Dean a few minutes later under the water. They took their sweet time, taking turns to use the soap and shampoo and rinsing off the bubbles and foam under the hot water stream, and stealing kisses every time they came face to face, which happened a lot, and most them were, well, on purpose. Castiel turned the water faucet off when they were done and reached to grab two clean towels, handing one over to Dean who used it to dry off his torso lazily and then wrapped it around his waist. He walked out of the shower and stepped back into the room to get dressed, Castiel following close behind. They got dressed into comfortable clothes, Castiel opting for a pair of sweatpants and a sweater while Dean went for his usual jeans and long sleeved t-shirt. They shared a short and sweet kiss before interlacing their fingers together and walking down the stairs to greet Sam who was sitting at the kitchen table, scarfing down some eggs and toast that he had made for himself.

"What took you so long, grandpas?" He snapped at them jokingly and Dean sent him a glare, flicking his forehead as he walked past him to grab a bowl from the kitchen cabinet.

"Shut up," Dean grumbled, grabbing the cereal and milk.

"Merry fricken Christmas to you, too, dude," Sam rolled his eyes, sending Dean an amused grin.

"Merry Christmas, Sammy," Dean grinned back at him as he sat in front of him at the table. Castiel joined then soon after with a bowl of oatmeal in front of him, sitting next to Dean with his hand in the boy's lap.

"Merry Christmas, boys," he wished them with a wide smile.

"And merry fucking Christmas, Cas," Dean whispered, sending him a smirk and a knowing wink.

They finished their breakfast quickly and then made their way to the living room where they sat in front of the television when Sam insisted that they watch all the Christmas movies and specials they were putting on. Ellen had insisted that the three boys come over for Christmas lunch later that day and in all honesty, they couldn't refuse an opportunity for good food, even if it meant a party and Cas and Dean had to pretend to be strangers for the night for the sake of the people who weren't family. So they took advantage of the long morning, cuddled up on the couch in each other's arms as they watched random footage on the tv with Christmas carols playing in the back. At noon, they went back up to dress appropriately to go out, although they didn't go fancier than a clean button-up and a pair of jeans. As Cas was getting ready to leave first since they were going to be taking separate cars to avoid any suspicions, Dean stopped him, turning around from his spot in the closet with his good jacket in one hand and a box in the other.

"Hey, Cas," he said and Castiel turned around, his eyebrows quirked up expectantly. "Just before I forget," Dean smiled at him softly as he took the few strides to close the space between them. He placed the small box in Castiel's hands, the other man looking down at it with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and a small smile on his face. "Open it," he egged him on and Cas pulled at the little bow at the top, tossing it into the garbage bin by the door. He opened up the top of the box and looked inside, revealing a picture frame that was upside down. On the back were the words "Yours always, 11-26-'71" etched in Dean's scrawly handwriting. Castiel knew that date. It was the weekend right after Thanksgiving that they had spent up at the lake. He smiled as he grabbed the frame and turned it around. His eyes landed on a small collage of some of the polaroids they had taken on their trip together. "It's not much, I couldn't afford anything else but," Dean started but cut himself off with a small shrug of his shoulders.

"Dean, it's beautiful. This is the best present anyone's ever given me," Castiel told him, the smile on his face reaching his eyes. "Thank you so much, baby," he wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, pulling him in for a tight hug. Dean smiled, wrapping his arms back around Castiel's sides, nuzzling his hair. Cas pulled back and held Dean's face in his hands, kissing him ever so softly. "I love you so much," he breathed against his lips and Dean grinned, pecking his lips back before pulling away.

"I love you too," he replied as Cas grabbed the frame and went to put it in his bedside table.   
They walked back downstairs and Cas stopped by the living room, grabbing two brown bags from under the Christmas tree handing one to Dean and one to Sam.

Dean opened his quick and looked inside to find three different records. He grabbed them out of the bag, his eyes instantly widening when they fell on the first one. "Led Zepplin IV? Cas- wow," he flipped through the other two his eyes landing on George Harrison's The Concert For Bangladesh and Steppenwolf's For the Ladies Only. "Cas these literally all came out in the last few weeks! Oh my gosh," He grabbed the vinyl pocket for the Concert For Bangladesh and opened it, his eyes mesmerised by all the pictures of George Harrison and other stars that had performed. "This is amazing, Cas! Thank you!" He grinned, engulfing his boyfriend in a tight hug.

"Do you know how hard it is to get you a present? I'm glad the way to your heart is records," Cas laughed, kissing Dean on the cheek.

"Don't forget pie," Sammy added with a small laugh and Cas nodded in agreement. Sam opened his own bag next and pulled out a single leather-bound book. He ran a finger over the letters of the title and the author's name as he read them over. "1984?" He asked and Cas nodded, smiling at him.

"You love to read and this was one of my favourite books growing up and I think you're really going to enjoy it," he told him and Sam nodded, smiling widely at him

"Thank you, Castiel!" he told him, hugging him tightly. He pulled away looking at Dean with a a small, disappointed frown. "Sorry I couldn't get you anything this year," he told him and Dean shrugged, ruffling his hair.

"I didn't get you anything either. We're even!" He reassured him and Sam laughed, slapping his brother's hand away. The boys piled up soon after in separate cars and drove all the way to the Roadhouse. Cas walked in first, and Sam and Dean followed him once he was inside. They were instantly greeted at the door by Bobby who hugged them tightly.

"Hey, merry Christmas boys!" He greeted them and they grinned at him, hugging the old man back.

"Merry Christmas, Bobby!"

"Boys, I'm gonna give you a free pass on the beer tonight, even you Sam. You're gonna need it with all these idjits around," He rolled his eyes, pointing at the thirty or so guests of Ellen's. "That damned woman invited everyone she knows!" He complained and Sam and Dean laughed as they took a look around. Dean's eyes met Castiel's across the room as he mingled with another guy he recognised as one of the professor's from college.

"Stop complaining Bobby. Have some whiskey," Bobby's old war friend Rufus joined them, handing Bobby a small flask filled with liquor. Bobby took a quick swig before handing him back the flask. "Boys," he nodded toward the brothers who shook his hand in greeting. "How's your daddy?" He asked them and Dean only shrugged, not really having any words to say on that matter.

"An asshole, that's what he is," Bobby grumbled, already tipsy.

"Ease up on the drinks, alright old guy?" Dean clapped his back with an amused chuckle. The boys went around the large diner greeting everyone they knew from Ellen and Bobby's family members, to some friends they had met through their father and Bobby. Once they were done greeting everyone, they sat at a table in the back with Jodi Mills and her husband and young son. She was the nice town sheriff and an old friend of Bobby's. They had some pot roast and potatoes, with some punch and Dean spent the entire meal following Castiel around the large room. Castiel would occasionally catch him staring and send him a shy smile which Dean would return with a crooked grin before turning back to his food. They spent the day socialising and mingling around with the guests, laughing and smiling like they hadn't on Christmas day in a long time. Sam and Dean went on to the dance floor and they were soon joined by Charlie and Jo and their group of friends. They danced ridiculously, making fun of each other as they jumped and twisted their bodies in funny ways to the beat of Twist and Shout by the Beatles. When the sun had gone down, the music shifted to slower Christmas Carols, Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas playing through the speakers. Dean stood in the back, leaning against the wall as couples swayed slowly to the beat of the song. He looked, searching for Castiel's head and was surprised to see him walking towards him. Castiel stood next to him silently, keeping just a little bit of distance between them, but Dean could still feel his body heat against his side.

"You having fun?" He asked him with a small smile. Dean glanced at him a little and nodded, before turning his attention back to Sam trying to dance with Jo, except he kept on stepping on her feet with his giant ones. He chuckled at his brother's two left feet, taking a sip from his drink.

"Yeah, I am. I only wish we could be dancing out there," Dean sighed, finishing his cup and tossing it on the table to his right.

"Yeah, me too. I owe you a dance, then, Mr. Winchester," Cas told him with a small smirk. He sent him a wink before turning back and walking away to avoid anyone suspecting anything. Dean let out a heavy breath, getting off the wall and making his way outside to get a breath of fresh air. He grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and shrugged it on, but as he turned around, it was like the music had suddenly died down, the only sound he could hear was ringing through his ears as his eyes landed on a man who was coming through the door. The man looked up, his eyes finally landing on Dean, and he stopped in his tracks, unable to move any further. Sam had suddenly stopped dancing as well, in surprise and in fear, and he walked back until he was standing right next to his older brother.

"John?" Bobby's voice asked as he squinted at the man standing in the doorway.

 


	14. Chapter 14

" _John?_ "

The music playing the room was suddenly sounding like it was coming from a distant room to Dean. The dance floor wasn't as stable as it should have been in a building that was standing straight up. He could hear his heart thumping in his ears. He clenched and unclenched his fists as his eyes met his father's across the room. He couldn't focus on anyone else in the room, and though everyone had continued as though nothing had happened, it was as if the world had stopped for Sam and Dean.

Suddenly, Dean felt his feet moving. He didn't know what came over him, but he found himself storming in the direction of the man who was sill standing by the door.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing here?" Dean spat in his face, pushing him against the wall behind them by the collar.

"Dean-," John started, his eyes glaring into Dean's with a mixture of emotion, but all Dean could see was searing hot anger.

"No, you have no right barging in here like nothing happened!" Dean yelled stabbing his finger as his father's chest, his own chest heaving as his breathing became harsher. The more he looked at his father's bearded face, the more he felt his blood boil with anger in his veins. Suddenly, he felt a gentle hand on his elbow, causing him to drop his hands to his side and turn around to find Sam standing by his side, his jaw clench as he gritted his teeth.

"Dean, don't," Sam spoke calmly, but his brother could tell just how frustrated he was on the inside.

"Sam-" Dean tried to fight back but it was Bobby who was standing beside him this time.

"Boys, take it outside before my wife stabs us all for ruining her party," he grumbled, pushing the door to the exit open. Dean was the first one out, followed by Sam and John. Bobby joined them right after and to his surprise, Ellen had shown up as well with Castiel trailing hesitantly right behind her. He was worried about Dean, and he knew that he would do something irrational that could potentially get him hurt.

"Son, you should probably head back inside," Ellen whispered to Castiel who wanted to argue back, he wanted to be there for Dean. But Ellen knew better, and maybe he should've listened to her.

"This is a family matter, boy, you should go back inside. Who the hell even are you?" John called out when he noticed Castiel. The blue eyed man cleared his throat and grabbed his car keys from his pocket, pretending that he was just leaving, but Dean suddenly turned to him, his eyes asking him to stay.

"No, Cas can stay. He's family," Dean turned back to his father, speaking through gritted teeth. "What the hell are you doing here, dad?"

"You've made new friends, I see," John chuckled bitterly. He turned to look at Sam for a second, then shared a look with Bobby and Ellen.

"We're staying right here," Bobby said, wrapping an arm around Ellen and shaking his head. He wasn't going to go anywhere where he couldn't keep an eye on the boys while they were in the presence of John.

John let out a breath before turning back to his sons. He was calmer now, holding his hands out in defence as he spoke. "I just wanna talk, son," he told Dean who folded his arms over his chest, partly to keep himself warm from the cold night air.

"I've got nothing to say to you," he spat through gritted teeth. His glare could have burned holes into him.

"How did you find us?" Sam asked, stepping forward to speak with his father.

John was quiet for a moment as he inspected his son's face. Sam's bruise was still visible, but it was nearly completely healed. "How are you, Sammy?"

"It's Sam." He replied, squinting his eyes in a glare. "How did you find us?" he repeated his question in an angrier and more impatient tone.

"Called the cops, they said Dean was enrolled in a college here in town. I thought I'd pass by the roadhouse and then I saw the impala parked outside," John answered the question, letting out a heavy breath through his nose.

"What did you come here for, John?" Bobby asked on behalf of the two boys.

"Came to talk to my boys, Bobby. It's none of your damn business."

"It isn't, until you lay a hand on one of your own children. Then it sure as hell is my business. It's my damn business to look out for those boys if you won't do it," Bobby snapped at him aggressively. Ellen placed a hand on his arm to calm him down, which seemed to do the trick because he backed down, choosing instead to remain silent and take a quiet sip from his flask.

"Well, we don't want to talk to you, or see you," Dean said, dropping his hands to his side. "Come on, Sammy. We're going home."

"Damn it, Dean. Just hear me out!" John yelled back, but Dean was already turning his back, followed by Sam. He shared a look with Cas who nodded, understanding that they were gonna go to his house and that he'd meet them there shortly. Dean fished his car keys from his pocket and unlocked the black car, getting in the driver's seat. Sam came in right after and Dean started the engine. He stopped next to Bobby and Ellen and sent them a small smile. "Thanks for the food and the nice evening, Ellen. Thanks, uncle Bobby," he told then before driving off in the direction of Castiel's house.

Without another word, Cas went back inside, grabbed his jacket and remembered that Dean had stormed off without his. He searched around until he found Dean's and Sam's slung behind the chairs they were previously sitting on. He grabbed them and made his way back outside, waving quickly at a few familiar faces who tried to stop him for a conversation. He gave them a tight smile and pushed past the double doors, shrugging on his jacket as he was hit with cold air. He spotted John and Bobby having a heated conversation in the corner. He wanted to hear what they were talking about, but Dean needed him right now, so he turned to Ellen giving her a small smile as he fished his car keys from his pocket.

"Men, right?" Ellen muttered with a shake of her head. "Sorry about that, Cas. You better go check on the boys," she sighed, putting her hand on Castiel's arm, squeezing it gently.

"Yeah, I'd better get going. Dean's probably driven past every red light on his way." They both chuckled, knowing how right he probably was unfortunately. "Thank you for having me, Ellen. It's a great party going on in there," he told her and she smiled at him, her eyes softening.

"Of course, son. Any _friend_ of Dean's is a friend of ours," she replied, winking subtly at him before turning to check on her husband and Dean's father. Cas smiled softly at her before turning and walking over to his car. He got in and instantly made his way back home. In all honesty, he wasn't quite sure how Ellen knew of his relationship with Dean. He was certain that Dean hadn't told her, and Charlie and Jo wouldn't have ever told on them. So she must have figured it out all by herself, but thankfully she didn't even care and seemed to be rather very happy for the two of them, instantly warming up to Cas and welcoming him with open arms.

Castiel drove fast, but he tried his best not to go much faster than the speed limit allowed. He got home in under five minutes and found Dean's impala parked carelessly in the drive way which was way out of character for Dean. He cared for his car as much as a father did his child. Well... a father that wasn't John Winchester. He stopped the car right behind it and switched off the engine, getting out the car. He jogged up the few steps and opened the front door, walking inside to the sound of sound swearing loudly and punching something that sounded rather painful. He closed the door behind him, slinging the jackets loosely on the coat hanger and walking into the living room to find Sam sitting on the couch, his body as stiff as when he had first met him, while Dean punched the wall again, _hard_.

"Hey— HEY! Dean stop, stop, you're going to break your hand like that," Castiel spoke with a hard voice, he was worried about Dean. He crossed the living room space and stood next to Dean. As he went to punch the wall again, Cas stood in front of him, holding his hand to stop the hit. Dean clenched his fist harder as Cas's fingers refused to let his hand go, his other moving to grasp Dean's chin softly to hold his face up. As Dean's eyes were forced to meet Castiel's deep blue ones, his hardened expression suddenly fell and Cas could see the internal brawl going on inside his head. "Hey," he said, much softer this time, his eyes filled with empathy. "Come here," he whispered, pulling him in for a hug. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist instantly, burying his face in his neck as he fell into his embrace, welcoming his comfort. Cas felt his muscles slowly relax as he held him tight, rubbing his back soothingly.

"Cas he- he had no right coming back here," his voice quivered, his grip tightening on Castiel's shirt.

"You don't know what he's here for, though. Didn't seem like he came to fight, did he?" Cas tried to reason with Dean to calm him down, his voice cautious and his hands still working on his shoulders soothingly.

"He was sober, Dean," Sam commented, looking up at his brother. "He hasn't been this sober in fifteen years, not since mom died."

Dean pulled back from Castiel's arms and ran his fingers through his hair as he thought. "What if he's here to take you back, Sammy?" Dean finally broke the silence, speaking out the thought that had been going on through his head this whole time, the one thought that he dreaded the most.

Sam shrugged, his eyes falling back to the patterned carpet, following every small line and shape. "I don't wanna leave," he said quietly, holding his gaze back up to meet Dean's. "But I don't want him to start fighting."

"I don't want you to leave either," Dean let out a heavy breath, sitting down beside his brother and squeezing his shoulder. "At least he was sober tonight, right?" They both chuckled at how unbelievable that really was. For as long as Dean could remember, his father always smelled of booze and could barely get out a single sentence properly without slurring his words. Tonight though, he actually smelled of soap. There wasn't a hint of alcohol on his breath and he seemed to be thinking clearer than ever. His eyes weren't glazed over. He had actually been sober, which was the most shocking thing to ever happen to Dean, in all honesty.

"How about you just listen to what he's got to say? Hear him out. You don't have to do anything he wants. Just know what he's doing here," Castiel said, being the one logical person in the group. Dean thought about for a few minutes, and finally he nodded.

"Fine, yeah. I'll hear him out. But if he so much as tries anything, I'm done. He's out of our lives forever, then, Sam," Dean spoke through gritted teeth and Sam nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, don't worry. Nothing's gonna happen," he tried to reassure them both.

"Alright, now can I check that hand of yours please? Make sure you didn't break any bones?" Castiel chuckled, standing in front of Dean and holding his palm out for him. Dean smiled a little, putting his hand in Castiel's. Cas frowned as he saw the dried blood on his knuckled that were already starting to bruise. He sighed in frustration, running a gentle finger over the cuts. Dean hissed a little and Cas pulled his finger back instantly shooting him a sheepish look. "You'll live... but you're gonna need to ice that, it's gonna hurt like a bitch for the next few days." Cas made his way to the freezer, grabbing a small bag of frozen peas and handed it over to Dean to place over his knuckles. "When are you going to get it into that thick skull of yours that punching things when you're angry - especially walls- does not solve your problems?" Cas teased him, ruffling his hair as he flopped down next to him. Sam laughed as Dean pouted and leaned his head on Cas' shoulder.

"I was going to throw shit around, but I didn't think you'd appreciate your lamp through the window," Dean joked back and Cas nudged his side with his elbow, Dean squirming away with a small smile.

"Yeah, thanks for not breaking my lamps," he said sarcastically, placing his arm around Dean who melted into his touch easily.

"Well, I'm gonna go shower and sleep, I really need it," Sam grumbled, standing up and making his way upstairs as the two other men mumbled goodnight to him.

"Hey, you'll be there, right?" Dean asked Cas after a while, looking up at him with his vulnerable green eyes as Cas ran his fingers aimlessly through his golden hair.

"Of course, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere," he smiled at him softly and pressed the most gentle of kisses on his forehead.

And so, the next morning, Dean begrudgingly called Ellen and Bobby's to find out what had happened with John. They informed him that he was staying at the motel on the outskirts of town. Dean hesitated, but still called the motel reluctantly and asked for a John Winchester. He answered on the fifth ring, his voice thick but Dean could tell that it was different, it wasn't from drinking, and he was yet again taken aback by surprise. Dean told his father that he would like to hear what he had to say and they agreed to meet at Dean's apartment later that afternoon. He wasn't quite ready to have his father peak in on the life he and Sam were sharing with Castiel just yet. Dean went to work that day, dreading the afternoon ahead of him. It was a slow day though, being the day after Christmas, so he got to leave early and went back to his apartment to fix it up a little bit. There wasn't much to straighten out anyway, but he did manage to make a fresh pot of coffee. Castiel had driven Sam up a short while later and the three of them sat in Dean's ratty old living room waiting for John to show up anxiously. Cas held Dean's hand reassuringly, fumbling with his fingers to keep busy. Finally, at five in the afternoon, there came a knock on the front door. Dean reluctantly let go of Castiel's hand and made his way to the front door. He wiped his palms against the fabric of his jeans and cleared his throat before finally opening the door. His father stood in front of him, wearing a leather jacket over an old wool plaid shirt. He had his hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his jeans but as soon as the door opened, they were out and his arms were pulling Dean in for a hug. Dean stood there, stiff and awkward, for a few moments, before patting his father's back slowly.

"Dean! Thank you for having me, son," he told him, pulling away and giving him a tight smile.

"Yeah, dad, of course..." Dean spoke quietly, opening the door wider to let him in. John stepped inside, looking around the place with a neutral expression on his face. If it bothered him that his son was living in this shithole, he made no visible signs of distress or concern for him. John's eyes finally landed on Sam's figure, standing awkwardly against the wall of the living room.

"Sammy," he called out, walking over to him and engulfing him in a hug. Sam returned it just as Dean had, before pulling away and wiping at his pants uncomfortably. "I'm so sorry, son. I know I lost my temper, and I shouldn't have," he started apologising. 

"More times than I can count," Dean mumbled, closing the front door and walking back toward the couch.   
  
"Yeah... I was an asshole to you both, wasn't I? You gotta know, though. That man wasn't me. It was the alcohol, Dean. I was never- I'm not a bad man. It's a disease, son," he tried to explain and Dean shook his head, laughing bitterly.

"And punching Sam is part of the symptoms, right? Or throwing a bottle at my head? Or forgetting to remove your rings that one time? Or actually keeping them on purposefully that other time?" Dean's words were spat with anger, shooting them like daggers at his father who averted his burning gaze.

"Dean..." John breathed out, running a frustrated hand over his face. "The drinks, they don't let me think straight. They had me messed up in the head."

"Yeah, and it really messed us up along the way. So messed up you have Sam thinking that mom's gone because of him! Do you understand how fucked up that is, dad? Because it is definitely the most fucked up thing I've ever heard of!" He growled and his father winced, his face falling. Maybe he was finally seeing exactly just how fucked their lives are because of his mistakes, because of his horrible life style. Dean let out a shaky breath, sitting down on the couch next to Castiel who was awkwardly still sitting there, counting the tiles on the floor, but as soon as Dean had settled next to him, his hand had unconsciously made its way behind his back, rubbing soothingly in circular motions. Dean could feel his muscles loosen and lose the tension in them. John seemed oblivious to their small touches as he watched his shoes, and once Cas had felt Dean finally relax beneath his touch, his placed his hand back in his lap.

"I haven't had a drink in a while," he finally admitted, looking up to meet Dean's eyes. "Ever since I hurt you, Sammy." His eyes looked up to find Sam's who was still leaning against the wall, his fists clenched by his side.

Sam opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. They remained quiet for a few moments until Sam finally had the courage to say out loud what everyone was thinking, and what was the cause behind the harsh _pang_ in Dean's tightening chest.

"You couldn't have stopped when you gave Dean that scar on his forehead?" He asked, his voice quiet and ice cold.

"Sam..." Dean warned him, his voice barely above a whisper.

"No, Dean. It's not fair. You didn't deserve any of that crap that you've been through. He needs to see that!" Sam's was gradually raising, his chest heaving with every breath.

"I do... I see that now, son. I know I don't deserve a second chance, hell I don't even deserve this. But I know I've messed up big time. There's no excuse for it, and I know apologising won't fix anything. I just want for you to forgive me."

Dean looked up, meeting his father's burning gaze. He tried to see through him, tried to see any signs of deception, but he seemed sincere. He didn't want to believe him, Sam and Dean both tried to. But he was their father, he was their only family left.

"Yeah," Dean whispered. "Yeah, alright dad. But I swear, if- if..." he trailed off, pulling at his hair in frustration. He didn't even want to think about it!

"I promise! I'm trying my hardest to stay clean," he reassured him and Dean nodded. John finally let his eyes fall on Castiel, who was staring at Dean instead, trying to read his thoughts and expression. "I'm sorry if I seemed rude to you yesterday, son," he told him, looking him up and down. Cas cleared his throat, turning his attention to the boys' father.

"It's alright, I understand," he replied with an tight smile. "Castiel Novak," he introduced himself, holding his hand out which John took and shook it quietly.

"John Winchester, but you probably already knew that," he chuckled and Cas chuckled along, nodding his head.

"So, you a friend of Dean's from college?" He asked, looking between the two men. Cas turned to Dean, not sure what Dean wanted his father to know, so he let him answer instead.

"Yeah, something like that," Dean muttered in response.

"That's good. You make lots of friends here?" He asked him, trying to know more about his son's life in Texas.

"Yes, actually. I have," he replied curtly. 

"Yeah? Any girls?" He smirked at his son, and Dean forced a smile, shaking his head.

"Nah, dad. No time with all the studying," he told him and his father raised his eyebrows, and chuckled, but he remained quiet.

"How are you paying for school, anyway?"

"Financial aid, student loans, any kinda help the college offers. You name it. I guess they feel bad when you write down that your only income is from your part time job," he explained. John avoided his gaze, scratching the back of his neck. When his sons were born, he had huge plans for them with their mother. They were going to go to Ivy Leagues, even if they couldn't afford it. He was going to start a college fund for them, save up everything he could. Work two jobs if he had to. But that was before everything. Before he had lost Mary, before he found comfort in alcohol. Before he started hating himself and the whole world around him.

John stayed for dinner that night. They ordered some pizzas and sat in the living room drinking soda and catching up. It wasn't as awkward as Dean had thought it would be. John was careful, keeping the conversation casual, trying his best not to overstep into unwanted, familiar, and painful territory. John promised them that he'd stay until after new year's day, and they knew that Sam would probably have to end up going back with John. After all, he still had school. He had his friends there, and John was his father and legal guardian, but they didn't speak of the matter yet, knowing it would probably start an argument. When they were done eating, Cas got up, grabbing the plates and cups and offering to do the dishes, knowing full well that Dean would just let them pile up in the sink until he had no clean dishes left and was forced to clean them.

"What're you, his wife? Sit down!" John laughed, patting the couch. Cas chuckled, completely ignoring his rather sexist and misogynistic comment, and made his way to the sink to let the dishes soak. It was Dean who spoke up though. He looked up to meet his dad's eyes, hearing his heart beating in his chest. He was glad that they were making progress with their dad, but it was important for Dean that his dad know his true identity. They were trying to turn over a new page, and Dean wanted everything to be out there finally, if they were all being honest with each other now. If he couldn't accept him for who he was, them he didn't want him in his life anyway.

"No, actually, we're only dating," Dean said, and Cas almost let the glass slip out of his hands and drop to the ground, but with his quick reflexes, he managed to catch before it had slipped. He turned around, watching Dean, sitting casually on the couch facing his father who leaned his head back as he burst out laughing at his son's confession.

"That's a good one. Good joke, you got me there," John laughed, wiping at his eyes. But Dean wasn't laughing. He looked at his dad with a straight face, Cas and Sam both watching the scene before them unfold with worry etched deep in their expressions. "Hey, you can laugh at your own joke, it's not a dick move," John commented, still chuckling, but Dean still had a straight face on.

"I wasn't joking, dad," Dean told him quietly.

John's laughter ceased as he sat up, narrowing his eyes at Dean. "Of course you were," he said, his voice eerily calm.

"No, dad. I love Cas." Dean clenched his fists as the anger started bubbling in his chest. Deep down, he knew this was a bad idea before he went for it, but he didn't want to be a coward. He wanted to face his father once and for all.

"Of course you don't, Dean. I didn't not raise my sons to be queer," John bit back bitterly, suddenly up on his feet. Dean flinched back, buy barely.

"No, you didn't raise us at all," he mumbled quietly, rubbing his palms harshly against his jeans.

"What did you say?" John shot back and Dean got up on his feet in one swift movement, facing his father, a frown on his face and his eyes glaring.

"You didn't raise us at all!" He yelled at him, shoving a finger at his father's chest.

"Don't you raise your voice with me, boy. You should show me some respect! But then again why would you, if you don't even respect yourself, going around sucking dicks!"

"No, don't you dare talk about respect! I had respect for the man who came home every day after work to give his family a good life. But that man's long gone. And this one- the drunk, lame excuse for a father? He don't deserve any bit of my respect!"

What Dean was not expecting was the fist on his jaw that had suddenly sent him back a few feet. He looked up at his dad, and let out a chuckle to everyone's surprise. "Typical. You're angry, and suddenly you're back to throwing punches around. Thought that didn't happen when you were sober!" He did expect the second punch though.

"No! Stop!" Sam lunged himself between his dad and Dean, and Cas was by his side instantly, holding Dean's face gently in his hands to check his jaw.

"Come on, Sam. We're leaving," John grumbled, grabbing Sam by the elbow and pulling him toward the door.

"No! I'm not going. I'm staying here with Dean."

"The hell you are! You're not hanging out around these gays and turning out like them. I always knew Dean would turn out to be a disappointment, but I've still got hopes for you, boy. No son of mine is a queer. Don't need two of them!"

"I'm staying with Dean!" Sam yelled, pushing away from his father's tight grip around his arm. That was going to bruise later. John's arm was suddenly up in the air, and Sam's eyes widened in fear as he took a few steps back. His father's hand held him by the shoulder instead and pushed him out the door. He knew. Sam knew that if they were to get John any angrier, god knows what would stop him. Cas might have gotten involved, maybe the neighbours or the cops, but nothing would have stopped John Winchester from hurting his boys, and hurting them bad. Nothing had ever stopped him before, and this... this was much worst.

"That college of yours is gonna hear about this. See how they'll pay for your classes when they know about this," he waved his hand around at Cas and Dean before turning around and pushing Sam down the stairs, not even giving him the chance to say goodbye to his brother.

Dean let out an enraged scream, stomping over to the front door and kicking it with all his might until it closed with a very loud and unsettling bang, letting out all of his frustrations. He grabbed the first thing his hands could reach - a lamp - and tossed it across the room, a loud crash resonating as it came into contact with the large windows, a small crack forming in the glass.

"Dean," Castiel murmured, running his hands through his hair as panic started to rise in his chest, but Dean wasn't hearing him, too busy pacing around the room, stopping to kick. the leg of the couch. "Dean!" Castiel yelled loud enough to stop Dean dead in his tracks and turn to look at him. "He's not- he didn't mean that, did he?" 

"What?" Dean breathed out, his eyebrows furrowing.

"He's not gonna tell the college, right?" Castiel asked in a shaky voice and Dean let out a laugh in disbelief.

"He just- he fucking took Sam away, and you're- you're _worried_ that he's going to tell the college about us? You've got to be fucking joking right now, Cas," Dean screamed, rubbing his hand over his face.

"Dean, you don't understand-"

"No, Castiel, I understand perfectly!" He shot back.

"Shit, Dean, IT'LL RUIN MY LIFE!" For the first time since he had met him, Dean was hearing Castiel raising his voice in a setting that did not involve their bedroom, and it ran a cold chill down his spine.

"What about my life, Cas? What about Sam's life?" Dean shot back, and Castiel's eyes softened a little, though the panic in his chest only grew and grew.

"Of course, I'm worried about Sam. I would call my lawyers right now if I could and try to get you full custody of your brother, Dean. You know I would do that for you. But don't you understand? If John tells the board that me, a university professor with rumours of going out with a student back in California, as wrong as those rumours were, that I was dating a student here, it'll ruin my life. They'll fire me and I wouldn't be able to find another job ever again. Hell, they could even take this to court! Do you know how hard it was for my father to cover up those rumours? It almost ruined our entire family even if there was nothing there. But it's different here, because there's you Dean, and they'll know. They'll ruin me!"

"What about me though?" Dean cried out. "They'll kick me out!"

"They won't kick you out. Maybe take you off the financial aid and student loans, but they won't kick you out. You're just another student."

_You're just another student._

The words hung in the air, ringing in Dean's ears over and over, and suddenly it was Castiel's voice telling him those venomous words, but the snaky voice of Zachariah, whispering with his manipulative voice and corrupting mouth, _you're just another student to him._

Castiel seemed to have noticed what he had said, and his eyes widened instantly, standing right in front of Dean. "I didn't mean it like that, Dean..."

"No? What did you mean it like then, huh? It's true, Cas. I am just another student to them, just another student to you. I'm nothing important, they'll surely kick me out, they'll kick us both to curb, and you won't want anything to do with me, 'cause I ruined your life, right? It's all my fault, it's my fault that John's here, my fault that I told him, my fault that Sam's gone, and my fault that he's gonna make me ruin your life. How long until you figure out that I'm damaged goods, Cas? I'm so fucked up, you're just gonna wanna find a way out someday but it'll be too late then, and we'll both be miserable-"

"God, Dean, for heaven's sake! Back to the shit Zachariah threw at you? He's a manipulative son of a bitch, Dean. How could you even think that I'd think like that? That I don't love you enough to stay and figure this whole out with you?"

"Why would you anyway? I'm all shades of messed up!"

"I'm just as messed up, Dean! But I guess..." Cas stopped, taking a deep breath as his eyes bore into Dean's green ones. His heart ached, his stomach churning. It hurt him more than anything in the world that Dean thought so little of his love for him, that he could even doubt it for a second. He felt betrayed. "I guess, if you don't trust me enough to know that I love you too much to blame you for any of this, to leave you for it, for someone else... then maybe-," he stopped again, his voice going quiet, barely above a whisper. "Maybe we shouldn't be together anymore."

He could see the second that Dean's heart cracked in his eyes, all the air suddenly sucked out of his lungs. He hoped that Dean would say anything to stop him. A single word and he would have apologised and begged for his forgiveness for saying such words, but instead Dean forced a hardened look on his face, shooting him a straight face, all emotion erased from his expression, he felt as though he had imagined the split second the vulnerability and fragility in Dean's eyes had come up.

"If that's what you want," he breathed out, clenching his fists to stop his hands from shaking. "Fine." He turned around as he felt the tears, hot and prickling against the corner of his eyes. He crossed his arms and walked toward the window, standing with his back to Castiel. He looked down into the alley, trying to stop the tears but they started streaming down his cheeks. He wiped at his face furiously, ignoring the stinging in his jaw and cheek from John's earlier punches. A few seconds of silence were followed by a pair of footsteps, the front door opening and closing quietly. He finally turned out, suddenly feeling very small in his empty apartment. He let out a cry in frustration, in pain, and in anger, his fist coming down into contact hard against the window, the crack that had already been there from the lamp giving away and shards of glass fell down into the alley and in his apartment. He screamed, and screamed, and cried in pain. slumping down into his couch as he shivered from the cold air coming in through the window, and from the tears that didn't stop from falling down his cheeks. He didn't know how long he was in that position, but it was dark outside when he got up and made his way to the bathroom. He took a look at his knuckles, wincing as he saw a few shards of broken glass still in his skin. He didn't how he hadn't felt them before. He felt numb all over, except his heart. That hurt like a bitch. He grabbed a pair of tweezers and with a heavy breath and the dim bathroom light, he managed to pick out the pieces and wash them down the drain. He placed his hand under the water, watching it turn bright red as his blood ran while he washed his wound. There was a knock at his door suddenly. He looked into the mirror, wiping furiously at his face and grabbed a towel, wrapping it tightly around his hand. He cleared his throat, swallowing back the lump and walked over to the door, opening it slowly. He heart sank when he saw Charlie standing there with concern laces in her expression. He was hoping it would be Sam  
or Castiel.

"What do you want?" He grumbled, opening the door wider to let her in. He knew he shouldn't take it out on her, but he couldn't help it. He was upset. He wad hurt. He was heartbroken. And his hand hurt like a bitch.

"We were going to a party, remember? I called professor Novak's place, but he hung up when I asked if you were there. The he didn't answer my ten other calls. You wouldn't answer your phone. I got worried, so I thought I'd pass by. And I'm glad I did. Jesus, Dean. What did you do?"

"Punched a window," he replied casually and Charlie glared at him, grabbing his hand to inspect it. Dean winced, stealing his hand back from her.

"Are we gonna talk about this?"

"No, we're gonna go get drunk. Let's go." He grabbed his jacket and his keys and walked outside, pushing past Charlie who sighed and followed him.

"You can't ignore your problems forever," Charlie countered. "You're gonna have to tell me what the hell happened eventually."

"Get me drunk enough, and maybe I will," he retorted, already down the stairs, car keys in hand.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Charlie and Dean got in his impala and she gave him the address of the house where this kid in one of her classes was having this huge party. Dean parked the car at the end of the driveway and was out of the car and in the open house party within a second, Charlie following right behind him. She watched him as he pushed passed the huddled drunk bodies dancing around to the beat of heavy rock music playing very loud. Just an hour earlier, Charlie was ready to get absolutely wasted with Dean, but as she watched him down shot after shot of straight vodka, she didn't even feel like having a bottle of beer. She knew she would end up having to take care of her friend, so she opted for once to act maturely and make sure she would be able to get him back home safely when he was done drinking.

It was after the fifth shot of vodka that Dean finally blurted out the words "they're all gone." Charlie turned to look at him, frown settling on her face as she tried to make sense of what he was saying.

"What do you mean, Dean? Who's gone where?" She asked him and he shrugged his shoulders, going to pour himself a drink in a red solo cup.

"Everyone. Sammy's gone. Cas' gone. Mom's gone. Well, she's been gone for fifteen years but, she's gone," he shrugged his shoulders, sipping slowly at his drink, finally slowing down to Charlie's relief. "They all left me."

Charlie's face fell and she watched Dean with empathetic eyes. "What happened, Dean?" she asked him, placing a gentle hand on his arm.

"My fucking dad is what happened." He muttered, closing his eyes and letting out a heavy groan and hitting his head against the wall behind him.

"I heard..." Charlie sighed quietly. Dean turned to her, questions and confusion loud in his expression. "Jo," she explained and Dean nodded, rolling his eyes.

"Big mouth," he muttered into his cup, taking another sip.

"What did he do?" Charlie asked him quietly and Dean let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head.

"Trusted him for only a second. I thought he was finally seeing sense. He was sober, you know. First time in forever. Fucking miracle, Charlie. Of course I fell for the nice guy act. He's never been fucking sober! And he's nice when he's sober, gosh. Until you say some shit he doesn't agree with. Till he knows who you really are and decides to fucking ruin your life even more than he already has." Dean rambled on and Charlie listened, hurt for her best friend who was pouring his heart to her. He was clearly in so much pain and she didn't know how to help. She didn't even know the full story, and yet she could see just how defeated and hurt he really was.

"' _No son of mine is queer!'"_ Dean tried to mimic his father's deep voice. " _You're not hanging out with these gays and turning out like then Sammy!"_ He yelled, following his words by downing the rest of his cup and grimacing as the alcohol went down his throat. He crumpled the plastic cup and tossed it aside, turning around to face the wall. He hit his fists against the wall, leaning his forehead against it, a series of curse words leaving his mouth through gritted teeth. "Fuck, fuck, shit, mother-fucking bitch!"

Charlie's hand rested on his shoulder, rubbing it gently. Dean's tense muscles relaxed under her tender touch and he turned around to face her. Charlie could hear her heart break when her eyes met Dean's. They were red and she could tell he was doing his best to hold his tears back and not to let them drop down his cheeks. She opened her arms and engulfed him in a tight hug, his head falling on her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her waist in a tight hug. He was shaking as a few silent sobs escaped his chest, his throat tightening.

Charlie dragged him over to an empty couch and sat down next to him until he had finally calmed down. Then Dean had insisted that he wanted to drink so much he wouldn't be able to remember his own name. She tried to slap some sense into him, but eventually gave up and let him play beer pong with a bunch of other college kids, but she stayed there, right behind him, watching him and making sure he was alright. A few of her friends from college even waved for her to come have a drink with them, but she simply shook her head. Dean needed her, even if he wasn't going to admit to it.

It was around two in the morning when Dean finally stumbled over to her from across the room and shot her a wide grin. She smiled at him, letting out a chuckle. "What's up?" She asked him and he shrugged his shoulders, his face turning in a grimace.

"I feel... pukey...." he admitted and Charlie let out a heavy breath with a shake of her head.

"Yeah, see, I warned you this was gonna happen if you drink as much as you did, especially when you were fricken mixing your alcohols when I specifically told you not to do that! But did you listen? Of course not!" She rambled, pulling him with her to the kitchen where she opened the refrigerator's door and pulled a bottle of water, handing it over to him. It took him a few seconds to open it up and as he took a few gulps, half the bottle dripped on his shirt and the floor. Charlie had to suppress her laugh, grabbing the bottle back from him and closing it tight. "Alright, give me your keys, please," she held out her hand and Dean reluctantly pulled his car keys from the pocket of his jeans and placed them in her open palm. She held his hand and pulled him outside and down the road where his impala was parked, opening it up and gently pushing him inside. She closed the door once he was finally inside and Dean leaned his head against the cold window, letting out a small groan. She walked over to the driver's side and slid into the car and pulling the seat forward.

"Hey- hey, don't change my seat! Now it'll take me forever to fix it to how I like it!" He slurred with a grumbling tone and Charlie only rolled her eyes at him, changing the mirror to her liking, ignoring the complaining noises coming from the drunk boy to her right.

"Just close your eyes and sleep before you puke all over your nice leather seats and blame it on me, mister," she told him as she started the engine and Dean rolled his eyes at her, but still leaned his head back against the window and closed his eyes. Charlie sent him a small smile as she pulled out of the driveway and started the drive back to Dean's building. They were there in only a few short minutes but Dean was already snoring as she parked the car and shut the engine off. She put her hand on his shoulder and gently shook him awake. He jolted awake, opening his eyes, green orbs wide and shaken up. "Hey, we're here," she whispered and Dean looked out the window, recognising his building. He sighed, opening the door and stumbling out. Charlie was by his side a few seconds later and helped him up the stairs to his apartment. She opened the door for him and helped him get out of his jeans and jackets and shoes, pushing him down on his bed and under his covers.

"Hey, I can stay if you need me to, Dean," she told him quietly but Dean shook his head, already burying in his pillow.

"It's okay, Charlie. I'll be okay," he whispered back, looking up at her and meeting her eyes in the dark. "Thanks for today," he said genuinely and she smiled softly at him. "You're like the best friend and little sister I never asked for but I'm really glad I have." He shot her a toothy, crooked grin and Charlie let out a loud laugh. She leaned down, kissing the top of his head and pulled the covers up to his chin.

"Alright, drunk boy, sleep it off. We'll figure out the rest in the morning, yeah? I'll be here with breakfast around ten. You won't be up earlier than that," she chuckled and Dean nodded, knowing how true her comment was. "Night, Deano."

"G'night Charlie," he mumbled with a small smile on his face, already feeling himself slip into sleep.

When he woke up though, it was still dark outside. He jolted awake, images of dark angry eyes, innocent green ones, and icy blue orbs sticking to the front of his mind. His shirt was sticking to his chest with sweat and he pulled the covers off him, trying to regain his breath. It took his a few moment to realise that the sound that had actually woken him up was the phone ringing. He breathed in a shaky breath and threw his feet on the side of the bed, coming into contact with the cold floor. He winced, stumbling over to the phone. He was still a little drunk and did not appreciate being woken up at whatever ungodly hour it was, even if they did pull him out from the horrible nightmare he was having. He grabbed the phone and held it against his ear as he leaned his shoulder on the wall for support. His eyes squinted at the clock hanging on the adjacent wall and he almost wanted to yell. It was four-thirty in the fricken a.m.! Did people have no regards for time?

"What?" he grumbled into the phone angrily.

"Uhm... good uhm- good morning, sir, is this Dean Winchester I'm speaking to?" A woman's young and scared voice sounded on the other end of the line. Dean narrowed his eyes at her "good morning". There was nothing good or morning about it, it was still dark out. He shouldn't have been up, for heaven's sake.

"Yeah, who's asking?" He growled into the phone. The woman was quiet for a moment before finally speaking up again.

"I'm calling from Saint John's Hospital, we found your address in your brother's wallet," she told him. Dean was suddenly alert. He stood up straight, his grip on the phone tightening.

" _What?"_ he breathed out, feeling his throat tightening as his heart beat harder in his chest, the blood rushing to his ears.

"A John Winchester and his son, Sam Winchester were brought into our emergency room an hour ago. We found your address in your brother's wallet. They're both undergoing operations right now—"

The woman was still talking but Dean couldn't hear anything anymore apart of the ringing in his ears. He didn't know how, but he found himself stumbling down the staircase, slipping on his coat as he jumped two steps at a time, almost tripping and falling a few times, but he made it to his car, dressed in the same clothes he was in earlier that night which had been tossed aside. He knew he was still a little bit drunk and probably shouldn't be driving in the state he was in, but he felt more alert than he had ever been his entire life. Thankfully the roads were all practically empty as he stepped on the gas pedal and drove in the direction of the hospital the nurse had told him of. He tapped his fingers nervously as he sped along the highway, hoping to God, if there was a God above, that he wouldn't be stopped by a cop for speeding. He had to get to his brother. He had to make sure Sammy was okay. "FUCK!" He screamed so loud, hitting his hands against the steering wheel as images of his brother hurt flashed through his mind. He tried to push them away as he imagined how badly Sam was damaged due to the car accident but his heart rate only went higher. He chanted a series of curse words as he took the exit, following the signs leading to the parking lot of the hospital. He parked the car in the first empty spot he found and ran as fast as his legs allowed him all the way into the lobby. The sun had already begun to rise as he barged through the glass doors and almost crashed into the front desk. He stopped, holding himself upright by his hands against the counter. Dean tried to catch his breath as a young nurse looked up at him with soft and concerned honey brown eyes.

"Excuse me sir, are you alright? How may I help you?" She asked him, her voice sounding a little familiar. Dean furrowed his brows at her as he regained his breath.

"I- my brother, Winchester. Sam. Sam Winchester," he managed to breathe out, his eyes wild, watching the nurse for any signs that might give him good news. The softening of her eyes and the look of empathy on her face only made him feel worse.

"Oh, you must be Dean?" She wondered and he nodded.

"Please, I- I need to know- o-oh gosh, he's not...?" He trailed off, unable to even utter the words as the thought dared to pass through his brain.

The nurse seemed to understand what he was trying to ask though. "Oh, no! Your little brother is currently in the operating room, and so is your father. They were in a pretty bad car accident, Sam got the worst of it, I'm afraid. I can't tell you anything, I'm sorry. But the surgeon should be out soon with updates."

"Oh god," he whimpered, his lower lip trembling. He pulled at his hair in frustration, sniffling as he tried to bite back a scream and a sob. "He was drunk, wasn't he?" He suddenly asked the nurse and she furrowed her eyebrows at him in confusion.

"I'm sorry?"

" _John,"_ he spat out his name as though it burnt his tongue to even pronounce it. "He was fucking drunk, wasn't he?"

"I'm sorry, mr. Winchester, I don't know anything-"

"I need to know, please. Please, I'm begging you," he leaned over the front desk, his green eyes sparkling with his tears, wide and pleading. Nurse Tessa, as her name tag read, let out a soft sigh and turned her back to Dean, shuffling through a couple files. She finally pulled out a paper, reading over it. She bit her lip as she put the paper back in place and slowly looked up at Dean with an apologetic look.

"There was a very high amount of alcohol in his blood," she replied quietly and Dean could suddenly feel his body becoming heavier and heavier. He tightened his grip on the counter, his knuckles turning white as he chewed on the inside of his cheek, a few tears escaping his eyes. John had driven with Sammy while he was pissed drunk. He took a chance with Sammy, and now Sammy was hurt, he was hurt pretty bad. Dean could suddenly only see red. He wanted to barge into that operating room and hurt his father like he hurt his brother. He deserved it, the drunk asshole. How could he do that to Sammy? Wasn't he in his own twisted way taking him away to protect him form Dean? At least, wasn't that what he thought he was doing? How could he have been so reckless? It was always take care of Sammy. Ever since Dean was four years old, it was make sure Sammy was safe. Make sure Sammy wasn't hungry, make sure Sammy had clean diapers on, make sure Sammy wasn't cold, make sure Sammy wasn't crying. It was always Sammy first, and Dean had always gladly made sure Sammy was okay. He never once complained about having to play the role of mom and dad and big brother. If John wasn't going to do it, he had to step up, and he had from a very young age. The very first thing that was always on his mind was make sure Sammy was safe. Protect Sammy. And he had failed. He should've fought his father harder. He shouldn't have agreed to even have him over. God! He had failed Sammy.

He jolted as a hand rested on his arm. Looking up, he saw the nurse looking at him with soft eyes. "Dean, you could sit in the waiting room. I'll come find you as soon as the surgeon's out," she told him quietly, and Dean found himself nodding, following her without a word to the room down the hall. It was empty at this hour and he sat on the couch, his leg tapping restlessly against the ground. He couldn't sit still. He got up, made his way to the coffee machine, got himself a cup, finished it, paced around the room. Paced outside, back to the vending machine, grabbed himself a candy bar and a soda, found that he couldn't even stomach any sort of food, finding it hard to even chew. He threw the candy bar away, finished his soda, then went to sit on the couch again. He turned on the television set in the room and tried to watch some soap opera that was playing but he couldn't focus. He found himself pulling his legs up on the couch, his knees pressing to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He buries his head in his knees and started crying softly. He tried hard to push the tears back, but the more he waited, and the more he thought about Sammy being hurt, the harder it was. And he was alone, making it harder to play the tough guy act. So he just let go. He rocked himself back and forth, letting the sobs shake through his body, the tears wet his jeans. He didn't know how long he had waited and how long he sat there crying but after what seemed like the longest hours of his life, Tessa finally walked back into the waiting room. Her eyes found his and she swallowed before stopping in front of him.

"Your father's awake. He's asking for you," she told him and Dean flinched, wiping furiously at his face. He looked up at her, only one word on his lips. _Sam?_ he asked her quietly and she shook her head, his lips trembling even more. "He's still in the operating room. He had lots of internal bleedings and many broken bones. He hit his head pretty bad. They should be done soon, they're patching him up. They'll take him up to ICU, it won't be for another while until you're allowed to go see him. I'm- I'm really sorry," she sighed, setting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Not your fault," he mumbled, wiping his face with his sleeve. He cleared his throat and stood up, sending her a sad smile. "Right. My fucking father. Which room will that be?" He asked and Tessa winced at his tone. She turned around to lead the way and Dean followed her. They walked through the many halls of the large hospital and finally stopped in front of a door that was left open. Dean took a deep breath, and exhaled shakily. He ran his fingers through his hair before finally walking inside. His eyes landed on his father. John had a large purple bruise on his cheek and a few scratches here and there. His leg was in a cast. Other than that, he seemed to be okay. Almost completely unscratched. Dean wanted to throttle him. He deserved to be in Sammy's place! Sammy didn't deserve any of this. As Dean scanned his dad's laying body on the hospital bed, he could feel the anger starting to boil inside him. He didn't feel sorry, or even pity for him. Gosh, in that moment, he hated him with everything in him.

"How could you?" he asked him quietly through gritted teeth, his voice quivering.

"Dean..." John started, a cough escaping his lips as he tried to speak.

"No! HOW COULD YOU?" Dean's voice started to raise along with his anger. "Sammy's really bad, dad. He's- he's not doing good! How could you do this to him? I can't even look at you!" He rubbed at his face furiously with his hands as he cried. He shook his head, glaring at his father. "I wish it was you laying there on that operating table in his place right now!"

"Dean, please..." John started, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry..."

"Yeah, tell that to Sam's lifeless body," he spat at him. "You're dead to me. If by some miracle Sammy makes it out alive, we're out. I swear, I'll get every damn lawyer in this country, you'll wish you were dead! You can go rot in hell. Or worse, the slammer." He didn't wait for John to say anything. He pushed passed Tessa and wandered back to the waiting room, but before he could even reach it, he found himself slipping down the wall, crumbling to the ground, pulling his knees to his chest as he cried hard. He felt a pair of arms around him and saw through his tear-blurred vision long brown hair and soft brown eyes looking at him with so much empathy it only made him cry harder in Tessa's arm.

When he finally felt himself relax a bit, Tessa got up and helped him up as well, handing him some tissues. "The cops will be passing by soon to get a statement, maybe an arrest. He was driving under the influence, which means he'll definitely be prosecuted for that. Plus, with Sam's condition... He'll be thrown in the slammer, that's for sure."

Somehow, even knowing that John was probably going to end up in jail for his mistakes couldn't even help Dean relax a single bit.

"It's what he deserves," he grumbled, using the tissue to wipe his eyes. "I hope he rots in there."

"Dean, you should go home, get some rest. You won't be able to visit Sam for another few hours, and even then he'll be in a medically induced coma as his body recovers," Tessa told him but Dean shook his head.

"No, no. I can't leave. I-" he let out a breath, his eyes looking up at the watch on the wall. It read 11:15 a.m. Shit, didn't Charlie mention something about passing by with breakfast at ten? She must have been worried sick. "Where can I find a phone? I need to make a few calls," he asked Tessa and she sighed, showing him the way to the phone. He dialled the roadhouse's number first. Bobby and Ellen needed to know what had happened. Jo answered on the fourth ring, her voice tired and bored.

"Harvell's Roadhouse, this is Jo," she spoke through the phone, snapping a piece of gum in her mouth.

"Jo," Dean breathed out, closing his eyes. "Can you put Ellen or Bobby on the phone?" He asked her.

"Dean?" Jo's voice was suddenly serious and laced with concern. She probably recognised the difference in Dean's usual deep and non-serious tone. "Is everything okay? Where are you? Charlie's been worried sick and she had us all worried sick-"

"Jo, please!" He cut her off, practically begging her. He heard some shuffling through the other end, Charlie's voice coming from somewhere in the back.

" _Is that Dean? That son of a bitch, he had me so worried, I thought he ran off or something, where the hell is he?"_ He heard Charlie yell, probably talking to Jo.

"Dean?" It was Bobby. "Son, is everything alright?"

"N-no," his voice broke and he rubbed his temple as a headache had started to form. It was quiet for a few moments, Bobby not wanting to pry. "I- I'm at Saint John's Hospital-"

"What? Dean, baby are you okay?" It was Ellen who was asking this time and he couldn't the small smile at her concerned voice.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he replied quietly, playing with the phone cord. "It's Sammy... He's hurt pretty badly," his voice broke at the end of his sentence as he felt another sob coming.

"What happened?" Bobby asked, suddenly the air leaving his lungs. He heard keys jangling in the back and he knew Bobby was getting ready to get in his car and drive over there as soon as he hung up the phone.

"John was driving under the influence," he forced the words out, swallowing back the lump.

"Shit... Dean, sweetheart we're on our way. Stay put, we'll be there shortly. _Jo, can you hold the fort? Charlie please..."_

 _"I'll help, don't worry!"_ Charlie replied.

" _We've got the roadhouse mom. Please, go. Call us when you know anything!"_ Jo told Ellen and Dean could imagine her pushing her out the door.

"We're on our way, son," Bobby reassured him before hanging up. Dean didn't put the phone back though. His fingers went for the dial buttons, and he started pressing the familiar number. Cas' number. Just as the phone started ringing though, he cursed under his breath and hung up almost instantly.

"Shit," he breathed out, tugging at his hair in frustration. " _Shit."_

Dean was sitting back in the waiting room when Bobby and Ellen walked in a short while later. Ellen was first to engulf him in a tight, motherly hug, and he let himself melt into her caring hold as she brushed his hair back tenderly. Bobby patted his shoulder, a sad look on his face. They didn't say anything. They say down, Ellen holding Dean tightly, Bobby staring down at his baseball cap which he was holding in his lap. It was a few hours before a doctor walked into the room, carrying a notepad in his hands.

"Winchester?" he called and Dean shot up on his two feet, meeting the doctor's yes.

"That's us," he replied and the doctor nodded, stepping closer and smiling softly at Dean.

"I'm doctor Henrikson. You can relax, it's good news." Dean's shoulders visibly relaxed at those words, but he still held his breath as the doctor explained Sam's situation. "Your brother was hurt pretty badly in the wreck. He had massive internal bleeding in his abdomen, a few broken ribs, his clavicle was dislocated. And his head... he hit it pretty badly. There was massive swelling and we had to wait for the swelling to subside before we could do anything. But we're optimistic, there isn't going to be any permanent damage. He's still young, which means his body will only recover much faster, fortunately. Sam's a very lucky young man. We have him in the recovery room right now. We just have to wait for him to wake up. Might be days, might be up to a week or two. It all depends on when his body is ready. We just have to wait and keep an eye on him for now. I'll have a nurse pass by when he's ready for visitors."

Dean didn't know what came over him, but he found himself wrapping his arms tightly around the doctor who laughed and hugged him back. "Thanks, Doc. Thank you!"

"My job, kid." He chuckled, patting Dean on the back.

"Thank you, Dr. Henrikson," Bobby said, shaking his hand firmly.

The doctor left them soon after and Dean collapsed on the couch again, Ellen pulling him in and pressing a kiss on his forehead.

"It's gonna be alright, son. It'll be alright," she whispered reassuringly in his ear and Dean found himself crying again, but this time it was tears of relief. Sam was going to be okay!   
—  
Dean refused to visit his father. It turned out that his father had suffered from internal bleedings as well, so he needed time to recover from his wounds. But Dean wouldn't go see him, even when the nurses had come to find him and tell him John's been asking for him. Dean stayed in the hospital almost all day for the next week or so. He went home after getting the news of Sam. He showered, changed into some fresh clothes, and drove straight back to the hospital. It wasn't until later that night that he was allowed to go into Sam's room. As his eyes fell over his bruised and bandaged up face, Dean cried. He grabbed a chair, pulled it to the side of his bed and he sat there, holding Sam's hand in his and listening to the steady beeping of the machines he was hooked up to. There were tubes and cables coming out of his chest, his mouth, and his arm. He head was wrapped up, his arm and right shoulder bandaged to keep his dislocated clavicle in place, and the rest of his abdomen was wrapped up as well. There were small scratches all over his face, but the worst part of it all was that Sam would probably have to cut his hair when he was allowed to leave to make it even. To operate, the surgeons had to shave a portion of his hair and Dean couldn't help but smile at how horrified Sam was going to be. The kid was obsessed with his long locks!

Dean fell asleep in Sam's room every night, only to be woken up in the morning by Tessa, who would bring him a fresh cup of coffee from the nurses' lounge. It was always much better than the crap they sold around the hospital. Tessa had taken a liking to Dean, keeping him entertained and making small talk with him any chance she could, whenever Dean was alone. Jo and Charlie visited almost every morning. When Charlie had first seen Sam, she couldn't help but cry. The short time that she had known him, she'd grown attached to the kid, becoming just as good friends as she was with Dean. Jo couldn't hold back her tears either. They hung out with Dean, occasionally bringing breakfast or lunch from the roadhouse, curtesy of Ellen. Bobby and Ellen also tried their best to leave the roadhouse and pass by whenever business was slow, or when they could afford to close it for a while. Dean was thankful to have them all around him. He only wished for one more person to be there, though he couldn't bring himself to call. He tried a few times, but always hung up after the first ring. Cas probably didn't want anything to do with him anymore. It was his fault, after all. He didn't trust him enough, and his worst fear had come true. Dean even begged Charlie, Jo, Bobby, and Ellen not to tell Cas anything. Knowing Cas, he would leave everything and come to check on him, and Dean couldn't handle seeing him, knowing that he had hurt him so. He simply couldn't face him.

Dean sat by Sam's side and he talked to him. He told him all about the Star Trek episodes he watched, or the documentaries that played on the tv when there was nothing else that was better to watch. He even told him about what happened with Cas, and knew that if Sam  
had been awake, he would have slapped him for being so stupid, and Dean would have let him, agreeing with him instead.

It had almost been a week and a half, and Sam was still asleep. The doctor's weren't worried. They said it was normal. His body needed time to recover from the major shock it had endured. But Dean couldn't help it. He worried too much about his baby brother. He even went to the chapel, praying to God for any kind of help. He was never really much of a believer, and he had always thought of prayer as a form of begging, but for Sammy, he would beg. He would do anything to see him awake again, he would fight for him no matter what. So he begged, and he prayed to anyone up there who was listening, if there was anything. He would do literally anything if it meant Sammy could wake up. But Sammy was still sleeping after an entire week and a half. They missed the New Year's celebration, but there wouldn't have been much of a celebration anyway, when everything was so damn crappy. Dean was growing impatient. So naturally, he grabbed his wallet and his fake ID and he made his way to the nearest bar to get, well, absolutely wasted. He walked through the doors and sat at the stool by the bar. The bartender, a burly man with a beard and a cap walked over to him as he was wiping a glass clean. His name tag red Benny.

"Can I have a beer please?" Dean ordered tiredly. The bartender furrowed his eyebrows at him and let out a chuckle.

"Imma have to see some ID, brotha'," he told him, setting down the glass. Dean pulled his fake id from his wallet and handed it to him casually. Benny inspected it for a second, his eyes dancing from the ID to Dean's face, back to the ID. Finally, he silently slid the ID back over to Dean, looking at him with a little bit of uncertainty. Dean was sure that Benny knew he wasn't exactly 21 yet. And he was sure that Benny could see his bloodshot eyes from all the crying and his sleep deprivation. So he pushed a glass of beer in front of Dean and patted his arm. "It's alright, brotha. Whatever it is, it'll pass." He told him and Dean chuckled, taking a long sip from his drink. And then he poured his heart out to Benny. He didn't know why, but he found himself telling him about the fight he had with his father after coming out to him, telling him all about Castiel only to explain to him why they had broken up. Then he told him  
about the accident, and why he couldn't call Cas because he couldn't face him. And the whole time, Benny listened, trying his best to give Dean some advice even if it wasn't his area of expertise. No, that was getting him drunk. And he did that perfectly. By the end of the night, had downed a couple of beers and he was too drunk. He couldn't possibly drive himself back home, so Benny called him a cab. "Good luck, brother. You'll be alright," he patted him on the back as he helped him into the cab.

"Thank you, Benny. You know, you're a real friend, my guy," he told him, shaking his head. Dean hiccuped and it made him chuckle quietly to himself. Benny closed the door for him and went back into his bar, while Dean gave the driver the address he wanted to go to. But he didn't give him his home address he realised when it was too late, he had given him Castiel's place. When the cab driver finally stopped in front of the house, Dean paid him and stumbled onto the street. A red corvette was parked outside Castiel's house which peaked both his interest and curiosity. He walked over to the front door, but found that he couldn't knock. Every time he tried, he'd pull his hand back. It was already midnight, Cas would probably be asleep anyway. He could use the key he still had, but he even drunk he knew that would be violating Castiel's privacy, they weren't together anymore after all. And something about the red car parked outside bugged Dean beyond belief. He didn't want his mind to wander far off and make assumptions, but could Castiel have already moved on? That fast? He couldn't imagine. Dean finally sat down on the stairs outside, burying his hands in his coat, and staring out at the street. He didn't know how long he sat there, but he had soon started crying, the stress of the entire week getting to him in his drunk state. Quiet sobs escaped his lips. He wanted to knock on the door so bad, but he couldn't even get himself to stand up. He suddenly heard the front door open and he shuffled to his feet, quickly turning around.

"Wha- it's not a fricken cat, it's a kid, Cassie. A kid who's crying!" The man exclaimed. Dean didn't recognise him, but by the nickname he gave Castiel, he wasn't sure whether he should be alarmed or not. He looked the man up, found him clad in fluffy slippers, pyjama bottoms and a bright red t-shirt. His hair was light brown, sticking up in all sorts of directions, and he was short. Much shorter than Dean, at least. His eyes though, they were pale, almost the same shade as Castiel's, except softer. Castiel's blue was much more striking.

"Gabe, what are you even talking about? I heard a cat-" Dean's breath got caught in his throat as he watched Castiel walked down the stairs and across the hall, wrapping a robe around himself, over his pyjamas. He stopped right behind the man who had opened the door, his eyes meeting Dean's, and Dean could tell that Castiel had also stopped breathing for a moment. "Dean..." he breathed out, pushing the man aside and opening the door further.

"Dean? That's Dean? I thought he'd look much younger, Mike made him seem like a friggen toddler," the other man exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, well, Michael's an asshole." Castiel muttered and the man snorted loudly, nodding his head in agreement. "Dean, gosh, it's freezing out there, come inside!" Cas opened the door further and stepped aside to let Dean in. Dean stepped inside hesitantly, his eyes watching the other man who had made a lollipop appear from out of nowhere and was now sucking on it happily. Cas closed the door behind Dean, rubbing his hands together to warm them up. "Uh... Dean, this is my brother, Gabriel." Castiel pointed at the shorter man, who grinned and waved at Dean.

"I thought you hated all your brothers because they were asshole," Dean mumbled and Cas couldn't help but smile, smirking a little at Gabe who was still grinning. "No offence..." Dean added quickly and Gabriel shrugged his shoulders.

"Hey, non taken. You're not wrong. Luc, Michael and Raphael. Biggest asshole on the planet. I'm a sweet asshole, right Cassie?"

"Only because of the large amount of candy you eat every single day, for god's sake. How are you not morbidly obese?" Cas exclaimed and Gabriel laughed, pushing past him and walking into the living room. "Gabriel's the only one who's not against my life choices. He's always been the nicer one in the family anyway, he works internationally though, so I barely get to see him," Castiel explained and Dean nodded absentmindedly, as he followed him into the living room. They sat on the couch on opposite ends as Gabriel flopped down on the armchair, but with one glare from Castiel, he grinned, excused himself, and stomped up the stairs. When they were finally alone, Castiel moved closer to Dean, his eyes softening as he looked into his moist green ones. He could tell that Dean had been crying- a lot.

"Dean, are you okay?" He whispered, but Dean couldn't reply with words. He only shook his head, no. "I- I'm not okay either. I shouldn't have stormed off like that- we should've sat down and talked about it. I've been calling you all week, Dean. You haven't been returning any of my calls." Cas sounded disappointed and pained, his gaze falling down to the floor.

Dean remained quiet for a little while. There was so much they had to talk about. He wanted to apologise for pushing him away and causing them to break up, he wanted to tell him he was sorry and hug him tight and kiss him passionately. He also wanted to tell him about Sam. He should start there. With Sam. He cleared his throat and swallowed the lump back. "Cas," he started, pulling his hair back. "Sammy- he's," Dean swallowed back a sob, shaking his head. Cas' eyes widened in worry, looking at Dean and trying to read his thoughts. "There was an accident. And he won't wake up now," Dean cried quietly.

" _What_? Dean, what happened?" Castiel asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern and fear for the young boy he'd grown fond of the last few weeks.

"Dad decided that it would be a fucking good idea to drive under the influence with Sam in the car," Dean spat, burying his face in his hands.

"And Sam got the worst of it?" Cas asked the obvious question and before Dean was even nodding his head, Castiel's arms were wrapping tightly around Dean, pulling him into his chest as he cried softly. Cas ran a comforting hand down his back, feeling his own heart break slowly. "Is there anything I can do, Dean? Please, anything," he voice cracked at the end as he felt his eyes burning with tears that threatened to fall the more he heard Dean's sobs and the more he thought of Sam's lifeless body on a gurney. 

The two men both looked up when a man cleared his throat in the doorway of the room. Gabriel was standing there, hands crossed over his chest. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop but... sounds to me like you need some legal help here, kid."

"W-what? What I need right now is for the doctor's to find out why the hell Sam's not fucking waking up!" Dean yelled, his voice pained and cracking.

Castiel and Gabriel exchanged looks, and Cas let out a soft sigh. He got up, his hand reluctantly leaving Dean's shoulder and walked over to the telephone hanging on the wall near the door. Gabriel walked over to Dean and sat in front of him on the coffee table as Cas started dialling a number he seemed to have memorised.

"Look, Dean. Cas told me everything- and before you go blaming him, don't. We tell each other everything. Well, almost everything. Some things better stay private," he shot him a wink, but Dean wasn't the least bit amused, grimacing instead. "I know all about your daddy and his fucked up way of loving you... I can help you and Sam."

Dean chewed on his lower lip, glancing up at Cas who was leaning against the wall as he waited for the other person to pick up. "How?" He asked him quietly and Gabe grinned at him.

"Well, I do happen to work for one of the best international law firms in the world. And I am kinda my own boss so... in other words, I can pull a few strings... a lot of strings. I can make sure papa Winchester gets prosecuted good for driving under the influence, endangering a minor and everyone else basically, and sever domestic abuse. That bruise on your jaw is enough proof. And... We can work on getting Sam emancipated, I don't know, getting you full custody will be difficult, considering you're a college student, barely making any money. Do you have anyone else that can help there?"

"Yeah, Bobby Singer and Ellen Harvell. They've been taking care of us since we were kids," Dean told him and Gabe nodded, thinking it over.

"You think we can set up a meeting with them? Sam wouldn't be able to testify against your father in his situation but I'm certain the judge will rule in our favour considering his current state," Gabriel explained and Dean chewed nervously on the inside of his cheek. Castiel had at this point frustratedly redialled the number on the phone and Dean was staring at him in confusion. What was he up to?

"How certain?"

"Pretty optimistic, Deano," he reassured him and Dean nodded slowly, thinking it over.

"You'd really help us? Just like that?"

"Of course, anything for Cassie's friends! I like you, Dean," he told him. Under different circumstances, Dean would have probably shot him a very cocky grin.

"Finally!" Cas called out exasperatedly. "Hello, yes, please may I speak with Dr. Novak? Yes, the chief. His son. Yes, I'll hold," Cas was gritting his teeth at this point, frustrated by the person he was talking to, Dean assumed a nurse or an assistant. He watched Cas curiously as he realised that he had called his own father who had called him an abomination. He realised that Cas was doing the thing he least wanted to do in the entire world for Dean. So he got up, walked over to him and held his hand tightly in his. Castiel smiled sweetly at his gesture, squeezing his hand gently. "Dad- It's Castiel... I realise it's pretty late, yes, I'm sorry. Yeah, it's good to hear from you too. Dad, I- I kinda need a favour. It's not money or anything, don't worry. Yes, I'm sure. Gosh, please listen for a second. I need your medical expertise, that's it! Thank you, geez," Cas took a deep breath, his hold on Dean's hand tightening. "My friend's little brother was in a car accident and he was hurt pretty badly. He won't wake up. How long has it been?" He looked up at Dean with his eyebrows raised and Dean whispered 'ten days.' "Ten days, dad. Yeah. His name's Sam  
Winchester. He's at uh-"

"Saint John's Hospital, just outside of town," Dean told him, and Cas repeated the address on the phone. He mumbled a series of yeah's and mhm's into the phone until finally he muttered a quick thanks and a goodbye before hanging up the phone. Dean looked up at him with wide eyes as Cas walked back over to the couch and sat down next to him. "Dad's gonna look into it. He's got friends all over, he probably knows Sam's doctor and he said he's gonna try his best to help out any way he can."

"You- you called your dad? For Sammy?" Dean asked him, his voice barely above a whisper. He was still beyond shocked. Castiel seemed calm though, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

"Yeah, it's no big deal, Dean," he replied casually but Dean's mouth was still hanging open.

"No, dude, you didn't even call for thanksgiving or Christmas. I know how hard it is for you to talk to your family–"

"Not me, I'm cool, brother," Gabe interjected with a grin, which was returned with heavy glares from both Dean and Castiel.

"And you still called your dad for me?"

"Of course I did. Dean, I love you. You know how much I do. And Sam's your family, which makes him mine too. I just want him to be okay."

Dean remained quiet, biting harshly on his lower lip. But he couldn't help it. He couldn't stop the quivering of his lip as he felt a tear pushing its way past his eyelid and down his cheek. "I want him to be okay too, Cas," he whispered, his voice cracking as he finished his sentence, mumbling his name. Castiel could hear his own heart break as he saw Dean crumbling before him and he wrapping him up in his arms tight, rubbing his back gently.

"Shh, it's okay, baby. It's gonna be okay," he whispered reassuringly in his ear but Dean shook his head, pulling away from the hug as he harshly wiped his tears away.

"No it's not. My dad hates me, Sammy probably hates me for not fighting harder for him, and now he's probably not gonna wake up soon, or- or ever, and you hate me because I'm a dumb fuck-up. It's not gonna be okay, Cas. It can't be okay!" Dean cried out.

"I don't hate you, Dean. Our fight- it hurt. It hurt a lot. But I don't hate you. It only made me realise just how fucking in love with you I really am! Dean, I can't. I've only known you for about four months, but I can't do it without you. I don't want to. I love you too much," and before Dean could even process his words, he was leaning in and capturing Castiel's lips in a passionate kiss. It tasted of salt, alcohol and mint toothpaste, and it was everything Dean had been yearning for the past week or more.

It was then that Gabriel cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, uhm. That's my clue to leave," he muttered and turned on his heels, running up the stairs.

Dean smiled, pulling away and leaning his forehead against Castiel's. "I love you. I love you so much, Cas," he cried softly and Cas held his face in his hand, using his thumb to wipe his tears away, not realising that his own were already falling.

"It's okay, Dean. It's gonna be okay. Sam's gonna be okay. You both are," Cas reassured him quietly as Dean curled up in his arms and let him gently caress him, rubbing his back in small, relaxing circular motions until Dean's sobs had stopped and he was tired out completely from all the crying. He let Castiel lead him back upstairs and help him out of his clothes and into the bed, under the cold bedsheets. As soon as Cas was next to him, he curled up into his side, remaining as close to him as possible. Cas pressed a kiss on the top of his head and Dean finally let himself be lulled to sleep with Castiel's warmth and comfort.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Dean woke up the next morning to bright line shining through the window. He was surprised by the soft mattress beneath him, having gotten used to the uncomfortable couch in Sam's hospital room that he fit his body into with difficulty for the past week or so. He finally remembered though the events of the previous night and he let himself smile a little as he realised that he was in Castiel's bed- and Castiel was still laying in bed next to him, and probably had been the entire time Dean was asleep. Dean didn't bother opening his eyes, but Cas already knew that he was finally awake, his breathing pattern changing, his chest taking in shallower breaths.

Cas smiled down at the dirty blond man, running his fingers through his hair and brushing his golden locks back. Dean responded with a smile, extending his arms to wrap them around Castiel's torso, though Cas was now sitting up in bed, so he took pleasure in leaning his head in his lap as well. "Morning," Cas whispered and Dean hummed in response as he scratched his nails into his scalp comfortingly.

" 's nice," Dean mumbled, burying his head deeper into Cas's lap, pulling him closer by the waist. Cas smiled down at him, moving his fingers through Dean's hair rhythmically.

"D'you sleep well?" He asked him and Dean shrugged his shoulders. It was better sleep than he's gotten in a few days, that was for sure. He finally blinked his eyes open and looked up to meet Castiel's gaze. He was greeted by a pair of dark bags beneath his eyes, a scruffy stubble which had grown overnight and his hair disheveled all over the place. Dean frowned up at him, leaning his body up with his elbows on either side of Cas' body.

"Did you sleep at all though?" He asked him and Cas did a small mouth-shrug.

"I couldn't get any sleep all night," he admitted and Dean's frown deepened with concern.

"So you just laid here in bed all night?"

"Yeah, where else would I have gone?" Castiel replied as though it was the most obvious answer. But Dean couldn't possibly explain to him just how much it meant to him that he had willingly stayed in bed all night next to him, even when he couldn't fall asleep. He had felt the occasional stroke on his back, on his cheek, hair being pushed out of his face, while he wasn't too deep in his sleep. So he pouted up at him, leaning his neck up toward Castiel's face and pulled him down with one hand for a soft kiss. He kissed him sweetly, and left it at that, a simple kiss which Cas returned happily with a small smile on his face.

Dean pulled away from the kiss, beaming up at Cas. He dropped his head back against the pillow and Cas laid back against the mattress, leaning on his side to gaze down at Dean. Dean grabbed Castiel's hand and fumbled with his fingers, the two of them remaining quiet, focusing on the other's breathing. Cas used his free to push Dean's hair back and let his thumb caress his cheek gently. "What's on your mind? I can see you thinking hard," he wondered quietly and Dean looked up at him through his lashes but then averted his gaze back to Cas' hand in his, playing around with his fingers.

"Cas, are we- are we okay?" Dean mumbled his question quietly, his eyes still glued on their intwined fingers. Cas let out a sigh, holding Dean's chin and tilting his head up to meet his gaze.

"Dean, we had a fight. Our first fight, and it was horrible-"

"Really horrible," Dean muttered and Cas breathed out a chuckle, nodding his head.

"Really horrible, yeah. I missed you like crazy these past ten days. But... I'll forgive you if you forgive me?" Castiel grinned sheepishly at Dean who laughed and nodded, finally looking up at Castiel's clear blue eyes.

"Yeah, I forgive you for storming out on me like that," Dean poked his side and Cas smacked his hand away playfully.

"And I forgive you for being dumb enough to doubt my undying love for you," Cas retorted dramatically and Dean gasped, his eyes widening.

"Ouch, Cas. Ouch!" He shook his head and they both laughed softly. Cas grinned, leaning down and pecking Dean's lips softly.

"I'm sorry, Cas," Dean whispered against his lips and Cas ran his thumb over his cheek in a gentle caress.

"I'm sorry too, baby," he replied, rubbing their noses together. He was about to lean in for another kiss when his brother's voice called out from down the hall.

"Rise and shine kiddos," he yelled, his voice coning closer. He knocked on the door before adding. "Hope you're decent 'cause I'm coming in two seconds," and before they could even count to two, the door swung open and Gabriel stepped inside. Dean let out a small groan, rolling on his back and glaring at Castiel's loud older brother.

"Cas, your brother is more annoying than mine!" Dean complained, until he remembered Sammy and he felt a small pang in his heart.

Gabriel smiled at him, completely unfazed by his insult. "Daddy dearest called, Castiel. He's coming."

Cas sat up then, his eyebrows furrowing as he took in his brother's words. "What? What do you mean he's coming?"

"I mean, he called a few minutes and said he's coming here to see what he can do for Sam. He said, and I quote," Gabriel cleared his throat before speaking in a much raspier voice, probably imitating their father's voice, "'I am the best chance that kid's got! I should fly out there and see what I can do! I am the best neurosurgeon in the country!' Personally, I think he's just using it as an excuse to see you. He feels guilty, you know. First, the letter a few months ago, and now this." Gabriel chuckled and whispered loudly his next words. "I think he wants to apologise for being a major a-hole!"

"Wha- he's actually coming all the way to Texas? I thought he hated it." Castiel muttered, pushing the covers off his legs and getting out of bed.

"Oh! Woah, woah, there! Don't flash me!" Gabriel turned around, exaggerating his tone of horror.

"Relax, I'm not naked," Castiel rolled his eyes and walked over to his wardrobe, slipping into a pair of sweatpants.

"So your dad's actually coming to help Sammy?" Dean asked, grabbing the pair of dark blue sweatpants Cas had just thrown his way and slipping them on.

"Yeah, I guess that's what he said," Gabriel shrugged his shoulders, and then let out a giggle when he realised what he had just said.

"You're such a child," Castiel rolled his eyes again but Gabriel only grinned at him. "Where does he plan on staying?"

"Beats me, he'll probably get a room at the Ritz, knowing him," Gabriel replied with a shrug. "Anyway, I made pancakes for breakfast if you guys are hungry. Extra chocolate chips, of course."

Dean was instantly out of bed and pushing past the Novak brothers to the kitchen where he could smell the baked goods already. He stuffed himself full of chocolate chip pancakes with extra maple syrup until he couldn't breathe and when everyone was done with breakfast, he excused himself and went upstairs to take a shower. He felt disgusting after his previous drunken night and wanted to wash it all away.

He was okay. He was letting himself be strong. Not for any images he wanted to keep, screw that. He wanted to be strong for himself, and more importantly for Sammy. But as soon as the water in Castiel's shower hit his skin, scalding hot, he started crying, his whole body shaking, letting it all out, letting himself crumble. He didn't know how long he stood there crying, but soon he felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around him and rubbing his back comfortingly. He buried his face in Castiel's neck and cried, salty tears mixing with the shower water. He cried until no more tears fell and he was only hiccuping every few seconds, his breathing finally starting to steady down. Castiel took it as his cue and he helped Dean get cleaned up with shampooing his hair and soaping up his body. When they were all done, he wrapped them both in clean towels and held Dean's hand taking him back to his bedroom. Dean sat quietly on the bed as Cas walked to the dresser to grab some fresh clothes for the two of them.

Most of Dean's clothes were still taking up space in Castiel's closet, so he handed him a pair of his own jeans and one of his old shirts. Dean thanked him quietly and they both got dressed silently in their comfortable clothes. Dean went to slip on his shoes as Cas was fixing his wet hair in the mirror and he looked up at him, finally speaking. "I need to go back, check on Sammy."

"I'll come with you," Cas said without missing a heartbeat and Dean smiled gratefully up at him. Cas held out his hand for him and Dean took it, letting him pull him up from his seat on the side of the bed and lead the way down stairs. They found Gabriel in the living room, drinking coffee and watching a movie on the television. He looked up when they walked in, eyebrows raised. "We're gonna head to the hospital. What time did dad say he was coming?"

Gabriel just shrugged, taking a sip from his drink. "I dunno, probably this afternoon or tomorrow morning." He replied and Cas nodded, chewing his bottom lip in thought. "Deano, I know you probably don't want to think of this right now, but the sooner we start working on it the better. You know, the situation with your dad... legally, and stuff," Gabriel started, turning his attention to Dean who looked up at him with a hardened look on his face.

"Yeah, no, we should start. The sooner, the better. The bastard deserves to be thrown in a jail cell," he said with a cold tone. Castiel turned to look at him with soft eyes, his hand gently squeezing Dean's.

"Alrighty, then. We'll start working on all the papers we need, I guess. And you said your aunt and uncle could take care of Sam after all this is over, so if we want them to get full custody, we should talk to them and get things sorted. There's a lot of paperwork involved."

"They'll be at Harvell's Roadhouse all day. You can just pop in later today. I'll tell them you'll pass by," Dean said and Gabriel nodded, deciding to have lunch there and discuss the situation and legal issues later that same day.

Cas and Dean grabbed their coats then and shrugged them on. They made their way Castiel's car and Dean slid inside, leaving no space on the bench between him and Cas, their shoulders touching. Cas smiled at him, squeezing his thigh gently and started the car. He asked Dean to choose the music but Dean only shrugged and let Cas put on whatever he wanted. But Cas, wanting Dean to be at his happiest, turned the radio on to the station that played all his favourite rock singles. Dean didn't sing along though. He didn't even bob his head or tap his fingers to the beat of the song. He remained quiet and stared out the window at the street ahead of them, only speaking up to give Cas the direction's to the bar he was at the previous night where his car was still parked. They arrived a few moments later and Dean reluctantly got out and into the impala. They continued on their way to the hospital in separate cars and if it weren't for Castiel's car moving in front of his, Dean was sure that he probably would've have zoned out instead of focusing on the tail lights of the beige car, and would have ended up in a ditch somewhere. His mind was everywhere and nowhere all at once. He felt completely and utterly helpless. He just wanted to sleep and wake up when everything was okay, when everything was back to normal with Sammy back home with him and him and Cas living happily, still in their honey money phase.

Dean was scared. Sure, he had made up with Cas the previous night. But things were never this easy. They both knew that it was bound to be awkward for a little after their fight, and they had a lot more to talk about to make it up, but Dean was mostly afraid that their spark was gone. That they just wouldn't feel the same bolt of electricity every time they touched, or so much as glanced at each other, even. He looked up and saw Cas gazing back at him through his rearview mirror as they stopped at a red light. And as his eyes met the sparkly blue orbs in the mirror in the car ahead of him, his heart still skipped a beat, only to continue at a racing pace, and Cas smiled at him, sending him a subtle wink just as the light turned green and he continued on his way again, Dean following right behind.

The parking lot at the hospital was relatively empty and they found two parking spots right next to each other which they claimed. They both got out of their cars and Cas followed Dean inside, walking past the glass doors into the hospital lobby. Dean stopped at the front desk and Cas stood behind him in confusion as he leaned forward, grinning at the young lady who was lost deep in her own world, studying a sheet of paper in her hands.

"Tessa!" Dean exclaimed loudly in her ear and the young nurse jumped, a loud shriek escaping her lips.

"Jesus christ- Dean, you asshole!" She hissed at him, slapping his arm hard.

"Ouch- no fair!"

"Totally fair! Oh, can I help you sir?" She turned her attention to Cas who was still lingering behind Dean, watching their interaction awkwardly.

"Oh, yeah, Tess, this is my b- my friend, Castiel," Dean stepped aside, holding his hand out to introduce Cas.

"Oh, well, it's nice to meet you, Castiel. Sounds like an angelic name," she grinned at him and Cas chuckled at her words.

"Well, it is, actually." He replied with a smile and she raised her eyes in surprise and interest.

"Yeah, angel of Thursday," Dean added enthusiastically, a wide grin on his face. He beamed up at Cas and the older man sent him a soft and adoring smile.

"Well, that's bitching, isn't it?" Tessa sounded impressed. "Coffee, you two?"

"Tessa likes me enough to steal some of the good coffee from the nurses' lounge for me," Dean explained to Cas who raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

"Well, in that case, we'll have two," he told Tessa who laughed, already making her way around the counter to get to the lounge.

"Alright, I'll get them to Sam's room, yeah?" She called back and Dean shot her two thumbs up before turning to Cas.

"She seems nice," Cas mentioned and Dean nodded, smiling as he watched Tessa walk away.

"Yeah, God knows why, but she liked me as soon as I walked in here looking for Sammy. She was really nice, got me snacks and talked to me, not 'cause she sympathised with me or pitied me, just like a friend, you know," Dean explained, already starting to walk in the direction of Sam's room, Cas following close behind. Dean stopped when he finally reached the door and pushed it open, holding it back so that Cas could walk in. As soon as he did, his eyes fell on Sam's lifeless body on the hospital bed, tubes attached everywhere to his body. He was also bandaged all over, but his eyes were focused on his head, wrapped in gauze. The colour was almost completely gone from his face. The tall and lanky kid he had met a few weeks prior now looked so small and fragile, almost like ghost. Castiel's heart fell.

The monitor was beeping steadily though, which gave Cas a little peace of mind. He wondered just how bad Sam probably looked the first time Dean saw him after the accident. It had probably broken him apart, and he wasn't there for him to help him pick up the pieces. He hated himself for leaving him so cruelly. He hated himself so much for storming off on him when he could have just stayed there and talked, reassured him, made him see sense. They could have gotten past their argument so easily. Cas held back the tears prickling his eyes to fall. He watched as Dean walked inside and flopped down on the chair that was placed right by Sam's bed, probably moved so close to him by Dean. He kicked off his boots and placed his feet by Sam's legs at the foot of the bed.

It was a big room that was shared with another patient, deep asleep and Cas assumed that the woman was also deep in a coma. By the way that Dean casually grabbed the remote control from the side of the bed and turned on the tv loudly, he understood that Dean probably knew that the other patient wouldn't be bothered, probably because she physically couldn't be bothered.

"That's Bela. She was here before Sammy, no one ever comes to visit her though. Pretty sad. Tessa says they tried reaching anyone she might have known, but there was literally no record of her anywhere. Kinda spooky, right?" Dean chuckled as he flipped through the channels aimlessly.

"Very spooky," Castiel agreed, grabbing an empty chair from the corner of the room and placing it next to Dean. He sat down beside him and while Dean seemed too engrossed in the animal documentary on lions that was playing on the television, Cas seemed more interested in Dean's face as he watched him carefully.

"You're staring at me," Dean mumbled after a few moments. He could already feel his cheeks turning a brighter shade of pink with the hint of a blush, so he kept his eyes on the television screen, avoiding Castiel's at all cost.

"Ah, fuck, I thought I was being very sneaky there for a second," Castiel replied sarcastically, a small, cheeky grin forming on his lips. Dean looked up at him then, shooting an annoyed glare his way, but it was clear to Cas that he was fighting hard to keep a smile at bay.

"Why are you staring at me?" Dean asked him, completely ignoring his sarcasm.

Cas shrugged his shoulders, opening his mouth to give him a lame excuse because in all honesty, there wasn't reason behind it. He just enjoyed watching Dean features, and especially after their time spent apart. He was cut off by Tessa entering the room though, carrying three cups of coffee. She set them down on the small table in the room and grabbed a chair to join them.

"So, what're we watching?" She asked casually, leaning back in her seat, tilting her head upwards to stare at the television screen.

"Don't you have to work? Patients to tend to?" Dean glanced at her, raising an amused eyebrow and turning his attention back to the screen where a baby lion was playing with another.

"Nah, I'm on break for the next hour," she replied, digging deep into the pocket of her uniform and pulling out a candy bar. "You want half, Castiel?" She turned to Cas who was taken aback by her sudden shift in attention from Dean to himself.

"Oh, uh-, no, thank you, I'm okay," he sent her a small and polite smile just when Dean reached over and snatched it from her. He grinned maniacally, opening wrapper and taking a very large bite from the candy bar.

"You pig!" Tessa gasped, snatching the candy bar back and swatting Dean on the back of the head as he laughed with a mouthful.

"That's what you get for not offering me!" He mumbled almost incomprehensibly, bits of chocolate flying everywhere.

"Hey, I was being polite, unlike some people!" She huffed, punching Dean's shoulder again in playful frustration and finishing the small bite that Dean had left her from the candy bar. Castiel watched their interaction with amusement, his heart warming at the sight of Dean with a new friend.

The day went by pretty fast. Dean had called Bobby and Ellen and informed them that Gabriel might be passing by to discuss legal issues, and Ellen did not hide her pure joy and excitement. She would do anything to ensure those boys' safety. Jo, Charlie and Luna passed by at lunch with food from the Roadhouse and they were extremely happy to find Cas there, although they hadn't known that he would be there, with him and Dean having been fighting, so they were one burger short. But Dean was more than happy to share his with Cas who was insisting on just eating the garden salad. As the night came rolling by, Bobby and Ellen had stopped by along with Gabriel. They discussed things further with Dean. Bobby and Ellen were both ready to take Sam under their wing. They were willing to do whatever it takes to take care of him and make sure that boy was safe and Dean was grateful for them. Ellen kissed each of them on their forehead before leaving.

Visiting hours were over, and everyone as well as Tessa was long gone. Everyone but Dean and Cas. Dean had moved to the couch in the corner of the room and curled up his long legs into a laying position where he fit uncomfortably on it, but he didn't seem to bothered as he snored peacefully. Cas had roamed into the halls and gotten himself a hot cup of tea from the cafeteria before walking back up to Sam's room. As he was walking past the many doors he stopped when he noticed a familiar face in room where the door was open. His face was a little bit bruised and scruffy with a beard but he recognised him instantly as John. Cas could feel his fingers tighten instantly around the styrofoam cup he was holding between his hands. Suddenly he didn't need the cup of tea to warm his hands. He was just about to walk away when John turned his head a little and his eyes widened, having recognised Cas standing in the hall. He was still going to just walk away, maybe pretend that he hadn't noticed him, but he was stopped by a gruff voice.

"Castiel?"

He turned on his heels and looked into the dark room, illuminated by a small bedside table and the moonlight shining through the open drapes over the windows, his eyes meeting John's. He knew that walking away right now would be rude. He didn't want to have to talk to him, but God, did he want to. Well, to be more specific, he wanted to yell at the man. He wanted to accuse him of all the damage he had caused the boys he had grown to care for so much, he wanted to make him feel the same and guilt for ruining the boys' lives. He stepped closer, standing right in the doorway, his grip around his cup tightening. But he remained quiet. It seemed as though John had things to say, questions burning to be asked, so he let him speak first.

"I-" John tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come out of his mouth, stuck in his throat. He swallowed hard, turning to look up at Cas, a face of a broken man, yet Cas couldn't empathise with him. No, not this man. Not the monster that left the man he loved torn and bruised. "How are the boys?" He finally asked and Castiel couldn't help but chuckle at that. He couldn't tell how sincere John was, but his voice trembled as he spoke.

"Not that great, thanks to you," Cas shot back instantly, and John's face fell, his gaze stuck to his lap.

"How's Sammy?" John asked quietly, but Cas could tell that he already knew the answer to that one.

"Won't wake up," Castiel admitted. It was in that moment that he realise that John had been crying when his shoulders shook with a silent sob, and still, he didn't sympathise with him. No, he pitied him. A sad old man who had lost everything.

"I- it really was an accident, I didn't mean to-"

"Didn't mean to almost drive off the highway while under the influence with your son, a minor in the front seat? Yeah, it's okay. It was a mistake. Happens to the best of us," Castiel cut him off, the deep, burning sarcasm sliding off his tongue with so much venom it could have stung. "Look, I'm not here to get involved. I'm only here because I care about Dean a lot, and Sam too. I just hope you know you're not getting out of this scot-free."

"I know I'm no good for the boys. I haven't been so in fifteen years. I- I know lawyers are gonna be involved, and I'm ready to take full responsibility. I just need to see them once. I gotta apologise." John's voice was pleading buy Cas shook his head already walking backwards toward the hallway.

"A little late for that, don't you think?" He replied quietly, turning on his heels and walking away. He let out a heavy sigh as he walked passed the many door until he finally reached Sam's room. He walked inside, his eyes landing on Sam's peaceful, sleeping face. His grip loosened around the cup he was still holding, and his expression softened. He let out a breath through his nostrils as he closed the door gently, careful not to wake Dean up. He walked over to the couch and held Dean's legs up, sat back down and placed his legs over his lap. Dean twitched in his sleep at the movement, opening a tired eye and glancing at Cas. He smiled sleepily at him, sitting up and turning around. He now laid his head in Cas' lap, letting his feet dangle from the side of the couch.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," he whispered, his free hand falling on Dean's forehead, brushing his hair back.

Dean yawned, curling onto his side and wrapping his arms around Castiel's waist. "S'ok," he mumbled, his eyes closed again, really close to slipping back into sleep.

Cas watched Dean as he fell back to sleep, his breathing slowing down and his chest rising and falling at a steady rhythm. The small radio in the room was playing very softly. He found himself humming a familiar tune as he stared down at Dean while his fingers worked through his hair in a comforting manner. It was a favourite Beatles song of his, and as he reached the chorus he started whisper-singing the words. _"All my loving, I will send to you, all my loving, darling I'll be true."_

"mhm, love this song," Dean mumbled into Castiel's belly, nuzzling his face into the soft fabric of his sweater. Castiel smiled, his fingers still running gently through Dean's hair.

" _Close your eyes and I'll kiss you_ ," he sang softly to Dean was yawning, a wide grin spreading on his face as he complied to the lyrics and closed his eyes, his lips puckering. Cas laughed as he continued to sing along, leaning in closer to Dean's face as he did so. " _Tomorrow I'll miss you, remember I'll always be true_." His face was only mere inches away from Dean's, his breath fanning on his face as he sang quietly. Dean held his breath as he still waited for their lips to meet, but he made no move, listening to Castiel's gruff yet sweet voice. He was no singer, but he could hold a tune, and to Dean it sounded heavenly. " _And then while I'm away, I'll write home every day, and I'll send all my loving to you."_ Cas took in a breath as John Lennon kept on singing the sweet lyrics of the bridge to the song, but he found himself leaning in and closing the gap between him and Dean. He kissed him softly, and Dean smiled widely as he returned it with much enthusiasm, his hand reaching upward to cup Castiel's cheek. It was a slow and gentle kiss, one that made their hearts flutter and their stomachs fill with butterflies and Cas loved every minute of it- until Dean was suddenly pulling away as a burst of laughter erupted from his chest. Cas looked at him bemusedly and chuckled, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"What? What's so funny?" He asked him with a laugh and Dean sat up, clutching his side as he tried to quiet down his laughter.

"I just got the mental image of dear old Bela waking up after all this time and the first thing she sees is us making out," he managed to let out and Cas was soon joining him in his heavy laughter.

"That'd certainly put her back into that coma, poor thing," he chuckled as Dean dropped his head on Cas' shoulder still vibrating with laughter.  Cas pressed a soft kiss to his forehead and Dean smiled, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. "Let's get some rest, yeah?" Cas said and Dean nodded. They moved with ease to fit around the couch with Cas holding on tightly around Dean's waist to make sure he doesn't fall off the side and their legs hanging off the arm. Cas propped his head on the small pillow that had already been on the couch and Dean took comfort in leaning on Cas' chest. It wasn't long before they had both dozed off, but it wasn't long either before they were woken up by a loud beeping sound. It felt to Cas as though he had only just closed his eyes, only just blinked, when he was jolted awake by a very loud noise. He jerked, shooting up at the noise that scared him half to death. He looked down and saw Dean groaning next to him and his heartbeat almost started slowing down back to its normal pace when his eyes looked forward and landed on Sam's limp body on the hospital bed. The heart monitor was now beeping loud and fast and it only took Cas a second to process what was going on before he was up on his feet, Dean right after him, still trying to make sense of what was going on. He looked up and his eyes saw the readings on the heart monitor.

Dean's legs suddenly felt wobbly. He stumbled over to Sam's bed, grasping his arm as dread washed over him, the colour on his face completely drained. "Sam," he croaked. "Sammy," he called out, louder this time. His hand extended and he clicked repeatedly at the call button. Cas was running toward the door, pushing it open. Everything after that was a blur to Dean. It all happened to fast. Cas calling out "HELP!" and "NURSE, PLEASE", a nurse followed by a resident running into the room. Sam's doctor running into the room fast, another nurse running in.

They huddled Round his body. Machines were brought in. " _CLEAR,"_ Sam's body jumping off the bed. " _WE'VE GOT A HEARTBEAT!"_ Dean was relieved for a moment, but then they were wheeling him right out of the room. He remembered the words "operation room," and "blood clot," and then nothing. It was only him and Cas in the room. Dean was sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the wall ahead of him, the images of the previous moments playing over and over in his head. He could lose Sam... this was it. He could lose his little brother. He didn't notice the tears until the wallpaper became blurry and the flower patterns were no longer visible.

Cas was pacing around the room. He paced, and paced, and paced, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. He only stopped when his legs started aching and he sat down next to Dean after what felt like hours. And maybe it had been hours. The sun was up, and Tessa had come back and checked up on them after hearing that Sam was in the operating room. She brought them breakfast, but neither could stomach anything. Cas tried to take a few sips of coffee but he was already awake and jittery enough without any caffein in his system. And again, he starting pacing. It was starting to piss Dean off, and he voiced his thoughts aloud. Cas felt a little bit guilty, so he excused himself to go to the bathroom even if he didn't have to go. He couldn't sit still though. He paced the entire floor.

On his way back though, he wasn't focusing on the corridor ahead and of course, just his luck, he came into contact hard against someone's shoulder. "Shit- I'm so sorry-" he started apologising, taking a few steps back to take a look at the man he had bumped into. And for the first time in his life, as those icy blue eyes stared back into his, a rush of relief washed over him.

"Castiel," his father started but Cas cut him off, wrapping his arms around him in a firm hug.

"Shit, dad, thank God you're here!" He exclaimed as Chuck patted his back awkwardly. He pulled away from the hug, clasping his son's shoulder.

"It's good to see you, son. I was just on my way to the boy's room," he told him and Cas gave him a grim look.

"He's- they took him down to the operating room a little while ago, I- he was crashing and they came in and just rolled him out and- and they didn't explain anything-," Cas's lower lip was trembling along with his voice.

"Cas?" Dean's quiet voice came from behind him. He looked up at him and then to his dad and swallowed.

"You must be Dean?" He raised an eyebrow at him and Dean nodded, looking up at him with wide eyes. He was scared and worried beyond words about his brother.

"Yessir," he replied, his voice coming out harsher than ever from all his crying, so he cleared his throat and ran a hand over the back of his neck.

"Alright, I'm gonna go and see what I can find out. I'll try to get into that operating room, make sure they don't mess up. I'll keep you boys updated," his blue eyes softened, and suddenly Dean could tell where Cas gets all his looks from. Everything from the hair and the eyes down to his build was exactly the same, except his father was beginning to show signs of his older age. And though Cas had made him seem as this horrible monster, in that precise moment he seemed like a god-sent angel to Dean.

"Thank you," Dean blurted out just as he turned to walk away. "Thank you, doctor Novak," he told him and Castiel's dad shot him a smile.

"Chuck's fine," he replied and turned around again, making his way around the hospital like he owned it to get the information he needed from the nurses and doctors.

"Hey," Cas turned to Dean and took his hand, squeezing it lightly and let it go before they could catch anyone's judging eyes. "It's gonna be okay," he tried to reassure them both. Dean nodded, wanting to believe him. He walked over to him and wrapped his arms around Cas tightly. They would be okay. They had to be.

 


	17. Chapter 17

After Chuck had disappeared, he didn't return. Not for another couple hours at least, and they felt like centuries to Dean. Dean and Cas were sitting at a table in the cafeteria after Castiel practically dragged Dean down there to get some food in his system, but neither one of them could really eat anything. They picked at their food and took small sips of their sodas, not exchanging a single word. Tessa came to find them running. She stopped when she saw them and walked over to them while trying to catch her breath.

"Hey," she called out, holding her sides as she took in deep breaths. "Doctor Henrik just came out of the operating room," she informed them. "Doctor Novak's still in there, stitching Sam up. He's gonna be just fine!"

"Oh my gosh," Dean breathed out, running his fingers through his hair and pulling harshly at the tips, letting out a puff of air from his chest. "Thank fucking God!" He dropped his face into his hands as he felt his eyes prickling with the tears that he had been holding off all day, his emotions finally reaching their peak and breaking through his walls.

Cas was up and by his side instantly, his hand rubbing his shoulder comfortingly.

Tessa smiled at the two of them and set a comforting hand on Dean's other shoulder. "I'll come find you when he's ready for visitors," she told them and Dean dropped his hands to his lap, letting out a breath. He smiled at her genuinely and nodded his head.

"Yeah, okay. Thank you, Tess."

"No problem, Deano," she grinned at him before turning to go back to her job, but just before she was too far away she turned back around and held her eyebrow up. "Hey, Castiel," she said, catching his attention off guard. He looked up at bed, his eyebrows raised questioningly. "Doctor Novak. Is he your-"

"My father, yes," he replied, cutting her off mid sentence.

"Bitchin'," she shot him a grin before turning back on her heels and making her way out into the hospital corridors.

"I wish he were bitchin', as she put it," Cas muttered, sitting back down in the chair next to Dean, who let out a small chuckle.

"He just saved my brother's life. As far as I'm concerned, Cas... man, I love you, but your dad's my hero right now," Dean said and they both let out quiet laughs.

"Yeah, I love you too, Dean," Cas replied, grinning at him. "I'm really thankful that he did come all the way over here, but I won't lie. I am beyond surprised. I didn't think he'd ever care. He didn't even pick up my phone calls for an entire year after I moved out here," he admitted and Dean's eyes widened at his revelation.

"You tried calling him? I thought you said you just didn't want anything to do with him."

"It's not like that... it's just, he was so against me being... you know," he shrugged, "and then the whole thing happened and the big fight and- I don't know, I guess I didn't always hate the old man. I still don't. I just wish it could've gone any other way. Well, provided I ended up teaching in a small college in Texas." Dean smiled at him and Cas eyes crinkled as he looked at him with slight shyness.

"Don't seem to me like he hates you, either. My father wouldn't have come like that, ever. Not even for his own kids," Dean mumbled the last bit bitterly and Cas squeezed his thigh under the table.

"You don't have to think about him anymore. Gabe's gonna take care of if and the worst case  
scenario is that you'll have to testify against him in court, but I doubt it'll come to that. You don't have responsibilities towards him anymore, Dean. Not if you don't want to."

"Yeah, yeah I know." He said, nodding his head, his gaze fixated on the plate in front of him. "I owe you everything, Cas." He looked up to meet the blue eyes staring down at him softly, and Cas simply shook his head, no.

"You don't owe me anything. I wanna take care of you, Dean. That's what I'm here for."

"I don't want to need you to take care of-"

"You don't need me to take care of you. But I want to, because I love you and I care about you more than I've ever cared about anyone, myself included. You're my family now, Dean. It's what family does," Cas explained, his voice quiet for only Dean's ears to hear in the loud cafeteria, but filled with so much raw emotion, Dean had the urge to just lean forward and catch his lips in a kiss, but he restrained himself. Not in public.

"Like Bobby always said, family don't end in blood," he said and Cas smiled at him, nodding his head in agreement.

"It doesn't start there either," he replied, taking Dean's fingers and lacing them with his. He squeezed his hand and Dean squeezed back before they released their grip.

They spent the rest of the day in Sam's old room, until finally, the door opened and Dean jumped to his feet as a nurse rolled Sam's hospital bed in, with the boy newly bandaged up and still very unconscious. He looked worse. Much more pale and as frail as a butterfly. Dean thought he was staring at a ghost. His heart broke.

The nurse positioned the bed against the wall in its original place and went to work, attaching tubes and wires to Sam's body. When he was done, he turned to Dean and told him the doctor will be in soon to brief them and then left. Dean walked over to Sam and brought his chair closer to the bed. He flopped down on it, taking Sam's boney hand in his and laid his head against the mattress. Cas came up behind him, putting his hand on Dean's shoulder and massaged it comfortingly. Dean leaned his cheek against Cas' hand to show his appreciation to his small gesture.

It wasn't long before Dr. Novak walked into the room, followed by Dr. Henrikson. Cas instantly retreated his hand from Dean, holding his hands behind his back. He nodded at his father who was reading something from the folder he carried in his hands.

"Boys," Dr. Henrikson started, removing his glasses and putting them in the pocket of his white robe. "So, I'm assuming you wanna know what happened, and honestly, if it weren't for doctor Novak here, I wouldn't have had an answer. So," he shrugged, smiling sheepishly and patting Cas' dad on the back.

"Oh, man, you humble me," he chuckled, and turned his attention back to Dean. "Sam had severe swelling in his brain, which is why we almost lost him. There were, well, big blood clots from the original incident. We relieved the intracranial pressure, but we had to put him in what we call a medically induced coma, because there's a risk of brain damage, but with us having him unconscious and keeping a close eye on him, he could be up and about with minimal to no damage at all. Now, it might be a few weeks to a couple of months until he's progressed enough to wake up and be ready to face the world again, but I'm pretty positive with how things are gonna go. Not many people make it after such an accident. He's a fighter, your brother."

Dean hadn't noticed, but as he was taking in Castiel's dad's words in, he had started crying. Sammy was going to be in a coma for more time, but he was going to be okay. He sniffed and wiped at his face with his sleeve, but soon he was on his feet. He closed the distance between himself and Doctor Novak and found himself hugging him. He wrapped his arms tight around the man and embraced him with gratitude. "Thank you," he cried into his white robe. "Thank you, doc." Chuck chuckled and patted his back in response.

"That's my job," he replied simply.

Dean pulled away from the hug and shook his head. "No, your job's all the way in California, but you came here after only one phone call from Cas in the middle of the night. I- I can't ever repay you."

"Well, I couldn't deny Cas' request now, could I?"

Now Cas wasn't used to anyone besides Dean, and then Sam and Dean's new friends using that nickname on him, but somehow, hearing his dad use it wasn't so bad. It made him feel like the formality of using his full name was unnecessary, and for once, he let his shoulders slump and relax in his father's presence.

"Well, you could've," Cas pointed out and they both chuckled. "But you didn't. So, thanks, dad." He sent his father a genuine smile, which was returned.

"I'm gonna stay for a couple days, but I have to get back to work back home soon. I'll be sure to call and check every day to make sure everything's going well," Chuck told them and they nodded in response. Chuck turned to leave , following Henrikson who was already out in the corridor, when Cas stopped him.

"Dad, hey, uh, I was wondering. Since you're staying in town for a few days. Do you wanna maybe go out for dinner? You, me, and Gabe."

Chuck looked up to meet his son's hopeful gaze and he shot him a grin, turning to look at Dean.

"Well, I'll come if Dean here's invited," he said and Cas' eyes widened in surprise. He wasn't expecting that from him at all.

"Well, yes, of course, Dean's welcome if he wants to come, but-"

"I'll come," Dean cut him off, sending a smile in Chuck's direction. "I wouldn't say no to a good steak dinner," he added and Chuck chortled with delight.

"A man with his priorities straight," he chuckled, shaking his head. "Alright then, does tomorrow night work for you, boys? I think we all need to take tonight to get some rest," he said and they both nodded in agreement.

"Tomorrow night works," Cas replied and Chuck grinned.

"Perfect, then," Chuck stated before turning around and leaving.

It took a lot of convincing on Cas' part to get Dean to agree to go back home to his place for a fresh shower and a good night sleep. Dean didn't want to leave Sam in case anything happened again, but Cas reassured him that if anything were to happen, his dad was still in town and just a mere phone call away. He had made sure that the nurses were to call him as soon as anything as simple as a change in his blood pressure occurred. Sam was in good hands, and he certainly wasn't going to wake up any time soon. So by the time it was already ten at night and Dean was barely managing to keep his eyes open, Cas finally convinced Dean to get home. They drove in separate cars as they had come two days earlier in their cars each and followed each other back to Castiel's house. Driving had woken Dean up a little bit, the focus on the road ahead fuelling some energy into his system. They reached Cas' place pretty quick and parked behind each other as they usually did on the driveway. Gabriel's car was gone and Cas presumed that he was good on his word and went to stay with their father in whatever fancy hotel he had booked a room to stay in.

Dean followed Cas into the house and up the stairs to the bedroom. He flopped down on the bed and Cas chuckled, walking over to him and leaning down to press a kiss on his forehead. "Hey, sleepyhead. No sleeping in my bed all dirty from the disgusting hospital. We're gonna run you a bath, yeah?"

Dean smiled lazily up at him, nodding his head in agreement. "Only if you join me," he replied with a grin and Cas laughed, nodding his head. Of course, he couldn't deny him such a request. "And it's our bed, now!"

"What if I don't wanna share it with you?" Cas teased as he made his way to the bathroom, going to the tub and pushing in the bath plug so that he could fill it up with hot water. He added some foamy body soap in and watched with satisfaction as the bubbles started to form while the water level rose steadily.

"You have no choice. I'm claiming it as my bed, too comfy." Dean's voice was closer over the loud noise coming from the water falling from the tub's faucet and Cas looked over his shoulder to find Dean in the doorway of the bathroom, already kicking his shoes off. He slipped his socks off next and started undoing his belt.

"I thought it was our bed, now?" Cas commented, shamelessly staring at Dean as he took his sweet time undressing.

"Nah, I've decided that it's now mine," he replied with a cocky smirk, and went on to pull his sweater over his head. And of course, as he was trying to be sexy, luck was not on his side and the sweater got stuck around his head. He pulled upwards, but it wouldn't budge. His ears started burning and he thanked God that Cas couldn't see how red with embarrassment his cheeks were.

"Need a little help there, baby?" He teased him and Dean grumbled out an angry yes. Cas laughed as he walked over to him and helped him carefully pull the sweater over his head. He tossed it to the side, his grin splitting his face from ear to ear.

"Stop looking at me like that," Dean pouted and Cas' grin only widened, if it were possible.

"What? You're too cute," he replied, pecking his pouty lips, but Dean only pouted further. Cas ignored him, still grinning, and went on to start taking off his own clothes as the bathroom had become fairly hot and steamy, and the tub was almost completely filled. He tossed his pants and sweater into the hamper, remaining in just his boxers and walked over to the bathtub, dipping his hand in to test the water. He hummed in satisfaction as it wasn't too hot and turned the faucet off. He turned around to look at Dean but he found the bathroom empty besides himself. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, going to call Dean when he heard the soft crackle of the vinyl player. Then, the soft hum of Frank Sinatra started playing and Cas smiled happily as Dean joined him again in the bathroom just as Sinatra's deep voice filled the house.

"I thought you were incapable of listening to anything that wasn't hard rock," Cas joked and Dean shrugged, slipping out of his jeans, pulling his boxers down as well.

"Shh, I thought we needed something... relaxing," he smiled at Cas, walking past him and dipping one foot into the tub. When he was satisfied with the water temperature, he put his second food in and slid down to a sitting position.

"You thought right," Cas chuckled, slipping out of his boxers and walking to the tub. He motioned for Dean to lean forward and slid in behind him. He leaned his back against the back of the tub and wound his arms around Dean's waist, pulling his back flush against his torso. Dean laid there happily in Cas' arms, humming along to the song that was playing with his eyes closed. He took Castiel's in his and fiddled with his fingers, Cas' own eyes closing and enjoying every last second of this moment.

Cas let his fingers roam over Dean's stomach, down his arms, over his thighs. When Dean didn't protest or make any moves to stop him, but instead shifted so that he was laying there more comfortably, Cas allowed his hand to move closer to Dean's inner thigh, tracing it under the bubbly water ever so lightly, hearing Dean's sharp breath intakes. He smirked to himself, leaning his head forward and pressing his lips as lightly as possible against Dean's skin on his back. He trailed his lips upward, over his shoulder, to the base of his neck. He pressed a wet, openmouthed kiss on Dean's neck, the younger man letting out a small hum of satisfaction. Cas' lips reached the spot right beneath Dean's ear and he took his sweet time, treating it right with his mouth and his tongue. He nipped, and licked, and sucked at the skin and Dean's breathing slowly became heavier and louder, and just went Cas was satisfied with the small love bite he had given him and Dean thought he could take a moment to catch his breath, his fingers wrapped around Dean's cock and gave it a small tug.

Dean let out a small moan, shifting against Cas' body. Cas' fingers went to work, starting slow at the base of Dean's member, nuzzling his nose against his neck.

"Shh, relax baby, just relax," he whispered into his ear. Dean shifted again, the water almost toppling and sloshing out of the tub. He finally rested, leaning his head against Castiel's left shoulder. Cas smiled down at him, pressing a kiss against his jawline as his fingers started moving again, agonisingly slow. He could feel Dean's cock becoming harder and harder with every stroke as the blood flow rushed to his tip. He flicked his wrist, Dean's cock giving an interesting twitch. "You like that?" He asked him with a smirk, repeating the same move. Dean moaned softly, nodding his head. He let his eyes close as Cas worked his magic on him. He took his time, working on all of Dean's length at a steady pace, using his other hand to massage his balls, and Dean was enjoying every second of it, and he let him know vocally. Cas let his lips roam over Dean's skin again and he kissed every inch of bare skin he could get his lips on, worshipping Dean's body with his mouth and his hands.

Dean really tried to hold it in, and Cas could tell. But he was doing this for him, to make him feel better, to let him relax. So he trailed his lips back up to his ear and kissed the spot right under it. He nipped and nibbled at his earlobe, feeling Dean shiver beneath him at the feeling. "You can let go, baby. Let go, sweetheart," he cooed gently in his ear. Dean wanted to last longer, but with the water pressure along with Castiel's fingers and the build up of the last couple weeks' stress, he finally let go with a loud scream of pleasure, releasing his load over Cas' hand and his own stomach.

Dean's head fell back and he looked up, meeting Cas' gaze. He sent him a lazy smile and Cas couldn't help that face of him. He leaned down and caught Dean's pink lips in a heavy kiss.

"Thank you, Cas. I really needed that," he smiled at him and Cas shrugged, pecking his lips once more.

"I know. Anything for you, baby," he grinned at him, taking his hand in his and squeezing it lightly.

"Do you want me to return the favour?" He asked him but Cas shook his head.

"I'm okay. This was about you, Dean," Cas replied, threading his fingers in Dean's wet hair and brushing them off his forehead.

"I can't believe I almost let you walk away," he muttered, shaking his head at his idiotic mistake.

"Don't blame yourself, Dean. We were both wrong," Cas reassured him and Dean nodded, nuzzling Cas' chest. He kissed it softly, leaving a wet trail of kisses back up to Cas' lips.

When they pulled away for air, Dean reached forward and grabbed the bar of soap and a loofa. They took turns, scrubbing each other's bodies clean and then shampooing their hair until they were clean. When they were done, Dean stepped out of the tub first and helped Cas out, handing him a fresh towel. They dried off, wrapped them around their wastes and made their way back to the bedroom.

Dean didn't even bother putting on a pair of boxers at least, jumping under the covers and cuddling up to Castiel's pillow. Cas chuckled at him as he was slipping on his underwear and shook his head at him. He walked over to bed and sat next to Dean.

"I'm gonna need my pillow back, babe," he told him but Dean shook his head, burying his face deeper into it. "Fine, have it your way then," Cas smirked, grabbing Dean's pillow and pulling it harshly from under his head. Dean sat up instantly, a loud gasp leaving his mouth.

"Wha- hey!" he pouted, sending a glare in Cas' direction.

"That's what you get for stealing my pillow," he responded casually, placing the pillow he pulled from under Dean's head in his side of the bed and flopping down on it. He leaned over then, turning off the lights before rolling back on his side to face Dean. He moved closer to Cas' body, slinging a lazy arm over his waist and burying his face in the nape of his neck. Cas smiled, pressing a kiss against his temple. "Night, Dean," Cas announced mid-yawn and Dean responded with a yawn as well. He chuckled, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and let himself doze off to the soft sound of Frank Sinatra's voice playing in the background and Dean's steady breathing.

The next day was much easier on them both. They woke up much more relaxed than they were the previous day and took their time getting dressed and eating a good breakfast of eggs and bacon. They drove together in Dean's car to the hospital and again, they sat next to Sam all day, only getting up when the couch and the chairs felt too hard and their legs started going numb. Dean wouldn't leave Sam, though. He wouldn't leave him by himself. If he had to use the bathroom, he'd make sure that Cas stayed right there in his seat. By one in the afternoon though, they were both starving, and Dean's stomach was growling rather loudly, so Cas finally started complaining about getting them some lunch. Dean looked at Cas, then at his stomach, then at Sammy, then back to his stomach. He groaned. He really did need to get some food. So he finally agreed and joined Cas, grumpily though. They walked down the halls to the hospital's cafeteria and grabbed a couple of sandwiches and sodas. They sat at an empty table and ate in silence, making the occasional comment about their food or random thoughts that would pass through their heads, but they never talked about the dinner they had promised Cas' dad that night. Neither one knew what to expect, and they were both nervous. So they decided to themselves that they wouldn't mention it until it was too late and they would already be on their way from the hospital to the restaurant they had agreed upon earlier. Dean finished his two sandwiches and sat there grinning at Cas, who hadn't noticed at first, but when he did, he raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?" he asked, and Dean's grin widened. "Is there something on my face?"

"Nope," Dean answered Casually. Cas frowned, still grabbing a napkin and dabbing at his face with it.

"What's with the grin? I don't like it..." Dean didn't answer him. Then, Cas looked behind him where the counter with the cashier was, where Dean's eyes were travelling to so often. His eyes landed on the small window next to the counter with many baked goods behind it. He spotted it at last. The cherry pie. "You want dessert, don't you?"

"Bingo!" Dean replied, tapping his hands on the table.

"Then go get some, why are you staring at me like that?" Cas chuckled, taking a sip from his drink. Dean's grin kind of faltered then and he cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck. 

"I- uh, I kinda used the last bit of cash I had left on lunch. I- well, I haven't been working and hospital food isn't exactly cheap, as horrible as it is, and-"

Dean stopped talking when Cas pulled out his wallet from the pocket of his trousers and laid down a five dollar bill in front of him. "Before you say anything, I know you're gonna be like 'Oh, I'm not a charity case! I can't take this money! I'm not a beggar! Boo-hoo!' I'm your boyfriend, you need a little bit of help till you can get back on your feet, and I'm here to help you. Now go get us some pie!"

"Cas, are you sure? I- I don't wanna be a burden-"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Dean," he laughed, "Dude, I've been feeding you for the past couple months. Why are you suddenly gonna be a burden? Feeding you means happy you and I love happy you," he teased him in the end, his smile spreading when Dean cracked a tiny one as well. "Babe, I promised I'd take care of you, and this is me taking care of you. Well, your belly."

Dean rolled his eyes, grabbed the money off the table and stomped over to the line to get his pie, leaving behind a laughing Castiel. He returned a few moments later with change and two pieces of cherry pie. They ate the baked goods happily, and when they were done, they sat there talking and laughing until Cas had to use the bathroom, so they left and went to wash their hands before going back to Sam's room. Dean shut the door as they were finally inside and pushed Cas against it, capturing his lips in a sweet kiss. Cas smiled, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist and pulling him against him as he kissed him back. Though Cas pulled away a few seconds later, leaving a pouty Dean behind.

"As much as I love kissing you, I'm- well, there are two unconscious patients in this room, Dean... one of then's your brother... it's a little creepy..." Cas admitted, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. Dean snorted, laughing loudly.

"You're right," he laughed, taking Cas' hand and leading them back to the couch. "Maybe later we can go find an empty room, somewhere in this hospital," he winked at him and Cas rolled his eyes, but his smile was there.

"Sure, baby," he laughed, pecking Dean's cheek and then laid his head on Dean's shoulder.

They didn't end up leaving to find an empty room though, and soon, the sun was already setting and they had to leave to get to the restaurant. They made a quick stop to Castiel's house and changed into fancier clothes for the occasion. While Cas went for his usual suit and tie, Dean only agreed to dress pants and one of Cas' white shirts that was a little big on him, so it fit Dean's broad shoulders well. He wouldn't go so far away from his comfort zone and put on a tie though, but he did agree to wearing a sweater over the shirt, which at least Cas was grateful for. They weren't going to a very fancy restaurant, so they could have dressed casually, but Dean was adamant on making a good impression on Castiel's father, even if he did complain a lot during the process of dressing fancy. Cas didn't understand, it was his idea, but he just let it go and let him he. It was Dean, after all. You didn't ask him questions, you just went along with it.

They had wasted a good twenty minutes, so they rushed back to Dean's car and Dean got behind the wheel, starting the engine. He was about to change gears from park to reverse when Cas' hand laid gently on his arm. He turned to look at him and Cas only smiled at him gently.

"Hey," he said, trailing his fingers down Dean's arm to his hand, taking it in his and lacing their fingers together. "I love you." He squeezed his hand and Dean smiled at him, squeezing back.

"I love you too, Cas," he replied with a smile. Cas leaned forward and pecked his lips gently before sitting back and letting Dean drive. The entire ride though, he didn't let go of Dean's hand, until they were finally nearing the restaurant and Dean went to park the car. They braced themselves, and walked out the car and toward the entrance. Dean held the door open for Cas who shot him a subtle wink, hoping it'd make him flustered, and he knew Dean well. Of course, he averted his gaze, smiling at his shoes as he scratched the back of his neck, feeling his cheeks starting to heat up a little. They walked inside and a waiter was there, standing by a small podium to take them to their table.

"Hello, and welcome to Remi's. How may I help you?" The waiter smiled at them warmly.

"Hi, uh, reservation under the name of Novak?" Cas told the waiter who looked down at his book to find their name.

"Ah, little bro, you're here!"

Cas and Dean turned around to find Gabriel, walking through the doors, brushing a hand through his hair. Right after him, Chuck walked in, his coat slung loosely over his arm.

"Ah, perfect. The whole party's here. Hello, boys!" Chuck greeted them with a grin. Cas held out his hand and his father shook it enthusiastically.

"Dad," he nodded at him with a small smile.

"Castiel," his father nodded back. He pulled his hand back and then offered it to Dean, who shook it nervously, though he did manage to keep a strong and steady grip. "And Dean, good to see you again, son."

"Yeah, you too, sir," Dean cleared his throat as he retrieved his hand and shoved it in the pocket of his pants.

"Hey, what'd I say? It's Chuck, please!" He practically begged and Dean chuckled, nodding his head.

"You too, Chuck."

The boys all chuckled as the waiter finally found their reservation.

"All right, this way, gentlemen," he said and led the way to a round table in the middle of the restaurant. The waiter handed them each a menu, but it seemed like Chuck already knew what he wanted.

"We'll have a bottle of red wine- Merlot, please."

"Great choice. We've got a very nice pick, '63."

"Great!" The waiter smiled and grabbed the drinks menu, turning to go get them wine glasses and pour their drink. "Do you drink, Dean?"

Dean looked up from his menu then, having lost focus momentarily as he tried to pick the cheapest choice on the menu to eat- but, honestly, there wasn't really anything that he could afford. Didn't Cas say that this was a casual, non-fancy restaurant? He seemed lost and frozen, like a deer in the lights of an oncoming vehicle. "Oh, uhm, erm, I do- well-" he stammered.

"I feel rude for not asking what you would have preferred. I know Gabe and Castiel prefer wine but, I didn't ask you. I'm sorry," Chuck looked up at him from under his reading glasses, sending him a genuinely apologetic smile. Dean cleared his throat, rubbing his palms over his thighs.

"Uhm, well, yeah, I do drink- which I don't think I should be admitting but- well, I prefer whiskey to wine, but I'm driving anyway, so I'd best not drink," Dean explained.

"Much."

"Excuse me?"

"Best not drink much," Gabe repeated himself. "Dude, we need you to relax a little, you're too tense," he added with a laugh. "You're gonna have a drink, at least. C'mon."

"Gabe, don't pressure the kid," Chuck mumbled, his eyes focused on the menu before him.

"Nah, it's cool. I can have a drink," Dean chuckled as the waiter had come back, placing a glass in front of each one of them, and started filling them with wine. He left the bottle on the table when he was done and told them he'd be back shortly for their orders.

"Technically, you can't," Cas pointed out with a small smirk, and Dean glared at him playfully.

"Well... legally..." Dean laughed, turning his attention back to the menu.

"You're not twenty-one, yet? Michael did mention that," Chuck muttered and Dean could see Cas roll his eyes as his older brother's name was mentioned. "How old are you, Dean?"

"Well, I'll be turning twenty in... in less than two weeks actually." Dean seemed more surprised than anyone else at the table at his revelation. He hadn't noticed just how fast the time had passed as he spent most of his time cooped up in that hospital room with Sam.

"Well, happy early birthday then!" Chuck grinned at him, holding out his glass of wine. They all toasted mumbling a series of "cheers" and took sips of their drinks.

The waiter came back a few minutes later, and the Novaks went first, giving him their orders. Dean's turn came last and he hesitated a little at first. Cas' hand was suddenly on his knee under the table, the weight of it comforting. It's okay, he was telling him, you could go for whatever you wanted, I'm taking care of you. So he ordered his 12oz sirloin steak with fries, but he still felt a little bit shy about it, though he was sure whatever Gabriel had ordered was so much more extravagant and expensive. Then again, he could afford it.

Chuck, to Dean's surprise, was a very laidback and casual guy. He kept conversation going, keeping it light and at times actually very humorous. Their dinner came, and Gabriel and Chuck were all too happy to embarrass Cas, recounting stories of him as a child.

"Castiel's eating that veal like it's the best thing in the world right now, but go back about twenty years and he'd be crying right there!"

"Gabriel!" Castiel whined, but his brother and father shared a funny look, chuckles erupting from their chests.

"When he turned eight or nine, he had this phase which- God, it lasted too long! He absolutely refused to eat meat. He claimed that he could hear the baby cow crying for its mother!" Chuck explained, recounting the story, much to Cas' embarrassment. "He'd throw temper tantrums every time we had pork chops or meatloaf for dinner. It drove me crazy at times, he never cried about anything. Amelia, though, she always knew how to make it up to him, bless her soul."

"She'd tell me stories about how this vicious wolf had attacked the veal so, it would have otherwise died a horrible death. Every night it was a different story. She was very creative like that," Cas chuckled, taking a sip of his wine.

"Do you remember that t-shirt she made you? You wore it literally everywhere, man that was disgusting! What did it say?" Gabriel wondered, mid-chewing.

"Uh... 'Friends not Food'? or something, yeah, it had a bunch of animals on it, he literally wore every day for an entire month!" Chuck said and Cas' cheeks were a deep shade of red, matching the drink in his hand. "He only stopped wearing it when he tore it."

They all laughed at that. Chuck went on to tell embarrassing stories about a younger Gabriel next, and Cas was more than happy to add details to the stories.

"So, what do you do, Dean?"

Dean had zoned out, focusing on the steak in his plate. "Hmm? Oh, uhm, well, I'm majoring in mechanical engineering, but I work part time at a garage downtown. Doesn't pay all that well, but I like keeping my hands busy, getting them dirty a little."

"Ah, engineering? That's interesting. We've got lawyers and doctors and professors in the family, we lack engineers though," Chuck replied, finishing his last sip of wine. "You doing well in that field?"

"Yessir, I've always had a penchant for mechanics. Maths' been pretty exhausting and headachy though," he admitted and Chuck chuckled.

"Yes, it was never my strong suit either," he nodded in understanding.

"Dean's pretty good, actually. He can fix a car that's got almost nothing left to be fixed and bring it back to new," Cas boasted, beaming proudly at the now blushing Dean. Chuck and Gabriel raised their eyebrows, impressed. "He's fixed my car more times than I can count without even breaking a sweat."

"So you've got a solid future ahead of you, then. What's your dream?"

"Probably build my own car or motorbike one day. Well, my uncle Bobby owns a salvage yard so I could get the pieces I need there, but the dream would be to have a company like- like, chevy, for example, have me build a vehicle for them, you know," Dean explained, a small grin appearing on his face. He loved his impala more than he could ever love any other car, but building his own car would be an accomplishment, the biggest accomplishment of his life.

"Well, I wish you the best of luck with that," Chuck told him, and Dean could feel the genuineness behind it.

They finished their dinner and ordered some ice cream for dessert. Chuck absolutely refused to let any of the boys pay, paying the whole bill himself and leaving a very generous tip. They walked outside, happily buzzed and sated. Chuck walked Dean and Castiel to the impala and nodded his head in approval as he approached the car.

"Nice car," he complimented and Dean grinned at him.

"My pride and joy," he patted the hood of the car.

"It was lovely meeting you officially, kid," Chuck told him and Dean smiled at him, shaking his hand firmly.

"Feelin's mutual," he replied, getting the key out of his pocket and getting behind the wheel.

Chuck then turned to face Cas. They shared a silent gaze, and Cas understood all the unspoken words that his father was trying to get out, but no rights words could ever convey just how he was feeling.

"Castiel..." he started, but Cas shook his head.

"It's okay, dad. The fight, mom, that college thing... it's all in the past. I- I'm over it. I hope you are, too."

"Your mother probably hates me for the way I've treated you," Chuck chuckled, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Nah, she couldn't. She always loved you too much. Before... before she passed, she asked me to forgive you. To give you time. I guess, she was right."

"She was always right, wasn't she? It's just, I had all these expectations, and I always had a soft spot for you. Because you were the baby of the family, I thought I did something wrong, coddled you too much, never yelled at you enough like I did your brothers. I think I'm starting to understand now."

"It's nothing you or mom or anyone did, dad. It's who I am," Cas sighed, pushing his hair off his forehead.

"He's your Amelia, isn't he?"

Cas' eyes widened a little at his father's unexpected, quiet words. His lips spread in the tiniest of smile as he looked at Dean waiting inside the car, focused on the buttons, changing between the radio channels.

"Yeah, dad. He is... I think," Cas laughed, and Chuck joined him.

"He's a good kid. I- I think I'm starting to understand it better, now."

Cas smiled at his father and pulled him in for a hug. "Thank you dad," he whispered and Chuck patted his back gently.

When they parted, Cas went to slide in the car from the passenger's side, but as he opened the door, Chuck stopped him. "I expect to see you home for Easter, and you too, Dean! And your little brother too, yeah?" He called out, loud enough for Dean to hear too through the closed window. He rolled the window down and grinned at Chuck.

"Sure thing, man. We'll be there!" He agreed on all of their behalves.

Cas chuckled, getting in the car and closing the door behind him. Chuck waved them off as Dean pulled out of his parking space and onto the main road.

"Dinner wasn't so bad, right?" Cas spoke, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen in the car.

"Your dad's a pretty rad guy," Dean told him. "Seemed like you two are on the right track now?" He glanced at Cas, sending him a small smile. Cas grinned and nodded his head, taking Dean's hand and intertwining their fingers together.

"Yeah, I think he's finally getting that 'gay' is not like the bubonic plague or something," they both laughed at Castiel's ridiculous comparison. "He said he's starting to understand it. I think Gabe had something to do with it, though. Definitely my mom too, from heaven or something. She's definitely in heaven."

Dean chuckled, nodding his head. "Think she and my mom are up there, baking pies and watching us, just rolling their eyes at every bad decision we're making down here?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fairly certain about that last one," Cas breathed out with a laugh.

"Too bad, we're probably, most definitely going to hell, right?" Dean wiggled his eyebrows jokingly at Cas who laughed, leaning his head on Dean's shoulder. He leaned down, kissing Castiel's forehead before focusing on the road ahead. They remained comfortably silent for the rest of the ride until they made it back to Castiel's house. As they got into their pyjamas and slipped under the covers, wrapped in each other's arms, Cas looked down at Dean who had his eyes closed, playing with his hair.

"Dean?" the younger man hummed in response. "Would you wanna uh, when this month's rent is up, maybe not wanna pay for next month?"

"Huh?" Dean sat up then, opening his eyes and looking at Cas like he was growing a second head or something.

"I mean, do you wanna maybe, like, officially-"

"Cas, are you asking me to move in with you officially?" 

Cas blushed and nodded his head. "Yeah, if you wanna..."

Dean grinned at him and went to straddle his hips. Cas laid his hands on Dean's waist, massaging it through his shirt. "I'd love to, baby. Only because then, this becomes my bed," Dean smirked, patting the mattress.

Cas laughed and rolled his eyes at him. "Our bed," he corrected him and Dean grinned wider, leaning down and kissing him hard. "Except, I still paid for it," Cas added and Dean slapped his chest playfully.

"Kiss me back, will you, you dingus?"

Cas laughed and flipped them over so that he was hovering on top of Dean and finally, he kissed him, hot and passionate.

Dean spent every day routinely. He would wake up in their bed, more often than not by himself, but he'd find Cas already in the kitchen making coffee and breakfast. He would kiss him good morning, pour him a cup of black coffee, and put a plate of whatever he had concocted that morning in front of him at the table. Then, Dean would wash up and get dressed to make it to the hospital. Cas went with him for the first week after Chuck had gone back to California, but classes soon started and he couldn't afford not to show up to his job. So Dean started going alone, until Ellen was informed that Dean was skipping classes. She yelled at him a lot when she found out. But then, she promised him that she'd visit Sam every day, or have Bobby and Jo go when she couldn't while he was in school until he could be back.

Sam wasn't going to wake up any time, so Dean agreed and started going back to classes but every day, as soon as his final class ended, he would rush back to the hospital. He'd set up his books in the small table he'd manage to convince the nurses to set up in there so that he could spend the time studying instead of doing nothing. Cas would join him in the afternoon when he was done teaching and they'd sit at the table working in silence.

Gabe had kept his word and did everything in his power to bring them boys justice. To Dean's surprise, convincing John to sign all the paperwork needed to give Ellen and Bobby full custody over Sam wasn't hard. Being sober and on lock down in the hospital had cleared his mind, apparently, as he actually really believed that Sam was better off with them rather than him as his guardian. The day at the court came, and John had pleaded guilty for driving under the influence as well as domestic abuse, taking full responsibility for everything that had happened. The judge wasn't as harsh on him as Dean had wished, but at least Sam and him were finally free of him. That day was entirely a blur to Dean, as were all days at this point.

It was the day before his birthday when it happened. Dean was tired as hell from his long lectures and he really just wanted to get some food and sleep. But he drove to the hospital, greeted Tessa unenthusiastically, got a word for it, but coffee as well, and went to Sam's room to probably crash on the couch. He pushed the door open, flinging his backpack on the floor.

"Hiya, Sammy," he muttered tiredly through a yawn, flopping down on the couch. He closed his eyes, rubbing at his face tiredly.

"Hey, Dean," a raspy voice replied. He slowly opened his eyes, finding him in a sitting position in the hospital bed.

"I- wha- you- hu- Sam?"

Sam grinned at him, his chapped lips parting and showing his teeth. "Hey, jerk!" He greeted him. 

"You- you're awake? How- when?"

"This morning," he coughed a little, taking a deep breath. "Tessa already told me everything, it's okay." And he coughed again.

"You sound like you smoked an entire chimney!"

"You look like you did that too," Sam countered and Dean grinned at him. He missed his smart ass too damn much.

"Fuck, I missed you Sammy," Dean's voice broke down, a few tears already rolling down his cheeks. He closed the gap between him and Sam, wrapping him in his arms in a tight hug.

"Dean- you're here!"

Dean looked up, seeing an excited Tessa walking in with Ellen and Bobby right behind her, holding various bags of what he knew was food inside.

"Sammy, we're back with food from the roadhouse, hon," Ellen announced. "There's pie for you too, baby," she patted Dean's cheek, placing the bags of goodies on the table.

Dean sniffed, wiping at his face with his sleeve. "You- why didn't you tell me earlier? How did you know before me?"

"Well, since we're Sam's legal guardians now, they called us first thing, and we rushed down here. You had classes, though, and you've already missed too many classes!"

"Still," Dean pouted, flopping down in the chair he kept next to Sam's bed.

"You're here now," Sam shrugged, smiling at his big brother.

"Yeah, I am," he grinned back at his brother. "Bitch."

Sam rolled his eyes, his lips turning up in a huge grin. "Jerk."

Dean laughed, feeling more tears streaming down his face. Bobby was soon passing out plates of food with soup for Sam, since he couldn't stomach nor swallow any solid foods yet, and they all ate happily.

Cas had joined them soon after, and when he saw Sam up, he cried in pure relief as well. They had called Charlie and Luna, and Jo came by after closing the roadhouse early. They all sat around Sam, drinking tea and eating snacks, having discussions among each other about everything, filling Sam on everything he had missed. He was excited about getting to live with Bobby and Ellen, especially since it meant his own room and getting to be close to his brother. And plus, Dean didn't have to worry about Sam's expenses anymore, only his, and without his own apartment, he could actually start saving up.

And for the first time in his life, Dean felt like he was going to be okay.


End file.
